


Everything In Between

by Polkadotdotdot



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Violence, Daddy Ben Solo, F/M, Finn (Star Wars) has PTSD, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Hostage Situation, Hoth, Idiots in Love, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Jealous Finn, Kidnapping, Like really kinda mental Finn, Maybe a little bit that kind of Daddy, OOC Finn, Poe and Ben friendship, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy, Protective Kylo Ren, Redeemed Ben Solo, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo angst, Reylo fluff, Senator Ben Solo, Seperation, Takodana, Unplanned Pregnancy, Very OOC Finn, baby reylo, domestic ben solo, domestic reylo, force skype, not that kind of daddy, reylo smut, there's a lot of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-25 02:54:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 110,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14967575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polkadotdotdot/pseuds/Polkadotdotdot
Summary: Ben loves Rey. Rey loves Ben. If only it were that simple.After Crait, what's left of the Resistance go on the run. With Poe trying to win Rey's already stolen heart and Rey and Ben acting like stubborn fools over joining the other, Leia just wants to know why Rey is talking to herself...and how she ended up in the family way.Redemption is a beautiful thing.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a story that I've already written and completed over on another site but I've decided I'm going to upload it here as well for folk who prefer reading on AO3. It also means I can do any second draft tweaking as well!
> 
> Since It's already completed I'm going to be posting a chapter a day. What can I say? I enjoy it when other people update quickly, so I'm going to do just that!
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are ALWAYS appreciated and you can come and chat with me over on Tumblr - https://polkadotdotdotreylo.tumblr.com/

The Millennium Falcon was quiet.

Even though the ship was full to bursting, people were only speaking in a muted hush, if they even spoke at all. So many emotions were running wild. Relief at being rescued, sorrow at so many losses in such quick succession, fear at what was going to happen next. Leia had told Rey that they had everything they needed to rebuild, to come back stronger, but Rey couldn’t help but feel skeptical.

The young woman had watched Finn with Rose, how he protectively hovered around the makeshift bed she had been placed on. There was a sadness in her as she observed her friend. Of course, she was happy for him. She didn’t know Rose, she had never met the small engineer, but just seeing the way Finn looked at her, she knew that spark.

Because it was the same look she had seen in the eyes of Ben Solo when she had tried to tell him he would turn. Every time she closed her eyes, she could see his gaze. The heartbroken expression he wore when she closed the ships door.

Trying to deal with her own conflicted emotions was hard enough without seeing the faces of the Resistance members. They would turn and look at her as she walked past, their faces expectant and hopeful, like she alone could bring down the whole First Order. It was draining what little resolve she had left and Rey decided the best place she could be was in her favourite place on the ship.

She entered the cockpit and sat down in the co-pilot seat, letting out a long sigh she hadn’t realised she had been holding in. Chewbacca sat in the pilot’s seat, turning his head to her and lightly chirruping to her. Rey smiled at him.

“Yeah, I’m okay Chewie,” She said quietly. The wookie eyed her carefully before he responded. Rey shrugged.

“I just…I was so sure he would come with me,” She said in a wistful voice, “The way he was in there, he wasn’t Kylo Ren…but just as quickly he was asking me to leave everything behind. To leave all my friends behind and I just…couldn’t do it,”

Chewbacca growled back in response, Rey nodding her head in understanding as she listened to him and processed his language.

“Do you really think that? That he’s still worth saving?” The Wookie nodded enthusiastically, his gentle response rumbling in his throat.

Rey tried to fight the small spread of warmth in her chest, attempting to push it away. Her experience was still too fresh, too raw. She needed time to process what had just happened to her, to them.

Ben had saved her life, there was no doubt about it. If he hadn’t taken the chance he did, there was no way she would still be alive and in turn, the Resistance would have been completely eradicated. He had offered her his hand, hell, he’d basically offered her the galaxy. Rey hadn’t wanted the whole galaxy.

She had just wanted him.

Their first connection, she had tried to shoot him. It was a snap instinct. The force continued to connect them sporadically and every time it did, she learned more about him. Piece by piece she saw parts of Kylo Ren fall away to reveal the man he actually was, the man he could have been if Snoke and the darkness hadn’t wound its way through him. The man that Rey still hoped he could be if she could get through to him.

But now, now things were even more complicated. He had taken up the mantle of supreme leader of the First Order. He was literally the head of the monster that was chasing them and chase them he did. In his anger, his blind rage, he had cornered them on Crait, determined to wipe the last of the Resistance.

Rey hoped that his reaction was instinct, that when she had refused his offer he automatically went back to the ways that he knew. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat thinking of her reaction, grabbing for the lightsaber.

Had she been too rash? Should she have tried to talk him down? Honestly, it was the look in his eyes that had scared her. Such resolve, her attempts would have been fruitless and every moment that passed put the Resistance in further danger, but there was something else under it all. Desire, for her to accept more than just his hand.

Rey’s head rocked back against the seat casting her eyes towards the roof of the ship, the lights on the panel above her twinkling and the blue haze of hyperspace bouncing off the metal. She was anxious to land somewhere, anywhere. She needed to get off the ship, to have some space. She felt like she needed to scream in frustration and let out the pressurized emotions that had started building since she had last seen his face.

“Chewie?” She asked quietly, “Where are we going?” The wookie snarled a reply.

“Hoth?!”

00000

“We’ve swept the surface of the planet,” Hux sneered, “What’s left of the Resistance have fled,”

Ben stood on the bridge of the Finalizer listening to General Hux, his eyes focusing on the view finder in front of him. He barely nodded in acknowledgment.

“Move out of this system,” He ordered, “We have other things to focus on now,”

Ben turned on his heel and began to walk down the long black walkway out of the bridge when Hux spoke.

“With all due respect, supreme leader, we have the Resistance on the run. It would be within our best interests to finish them,” Hux said.

The disdain and sarcastic tone of his voice as he used Ben’s official title was not lost on the dark-haired force user, but he decided it was best to keep his opinion to himself for now.  After losing control on the planet surface he knew that he needed to project an image of control, of power.

Starting an argument with Hux was not the way to do that.

Ben stopped and turned back to look at Hux, his face a mask of cool indifference.

“The Resistance has been dwindled down to nothing more than a handful of rebels,” he said flippantly, “They are not a threat to us. We are to leave this system and focus on more important items on the agenda,”

Ben’s manner left no room for argument and before Hux could form his sentence, Ben had already turned from him and was stalking from the bridge.

Nobody looked him in the eye as he walked from the bridge through the halls of the Finalizer towards his rooms on the top decks. He frowned at his thoughts. The first thing he would do is retire the throne room. Snoke may have been happy to sit on the ostentatious chair but Ben always felt that was indicative of his training. Snoke had been steeped in the ancient, old ways of the dark side.

While the lessons and skills remained the same, now that Ben was in charge, he was determined to uphold a more updated image. One that suited his age. Starting with replacing the throne room and establishing an office. He made a mental note to instruct his staff to start the process immediately.

His staff. The words felt strange in his head. A decision he had already made, he had never expected the opportunity to present itself quite as quickly as it did.

_All because of her…_

He scowled at the memory. Rey standing so close to him in the elevator, her wide eyes silently pleading with him to come with her. Part of him had really wanted to. Instead of taking her to Snoke, it would have been so easy to take her onto a ship, for them to fly to the furthest corner of the galaxy away from the First Order, the Resistance, and the war. He knew she never would and if he had done that then what had his struggles, his sacrifices been for?

He had always been intrigued by Rey, from the moment he had heard of her. When she had bested him in the forest, causing the scar that ran down his face, he should have been angry. The truth was, it had excited him. Beyond the shame that Snoke had belittled him with, her mastery of the force with no experience had thrilled him. He wanted to know more about her.

The doors to his rooms opened and closed behind him. The room was minimalist. A large bed, a desk with a few data pads, a chair and a few chests and drawers for storage. He hadn’t really needed anything else, everything he did revolved around his training, Snoke and the First Order. He pulled his gloves off, throwing them down on his bed, then sat on the end of it. He sighed, rubbing his hand over his face. It was the first moment he had allowed himself to drop his guard since his loss of control on Crait.

The truth was, it had all been for her. When their bond had first manifested himself, he had wanted to know more about it. Frustratingly, she had only seemed to want to call him a murderer and question everything about him. He supposed he couldn’t blame her. Slowly, with each opened channel, her attitude towards him had begun to change. He could hardly believe it when she reached out to him.

When they touched hands, he saw her. Truly saw her. His decision had been made from that moment on.

And she had thrown it back in his face.

He swallowed bitterly at the memory. Holding his hand out to her, letting himself be vulnerable and open only for her to reach for a weapon against him. She had left him no choice but to try and take it back, to defend himself.

He growled thinking of how she had left him alone, unconscious on the throne room floor. Left him to run back to her precious Resistance. He knew their bond was still active and he was determined that her watching him as she closed the door of that damn junk ship would be the last time she ever saw him weak.

He stood and walked over to a console on the wall, pressing a button.

“I want some changes made to the supreme leader’s rooms,”

00000

They hadn’t even left the Falcon and Rey’s teeth were already chattering. Her clothing was completely inappropriate for the harsh, freezing environment of Hoth and there was nothing else on the ship that she could wrap around herself. What few blankets they did have on board, Rey had insisted they remained with the wounded.

Chewbacca slowly guided the ship into the hanger of Echo base, touching down into the forgotten structure. Leia looked out of the view finder.

“It’s been long abandoned and will need some maintenance but for now it’s our best bet for laying low,” She said appraising the place.

The closer Rey walked to the door, the worse her shivering became. She had never seen snow before, let alone felt it, and any excitement she had initially felt was leaving her as quickly as the feeling was leaving her fingers. It was only made worse when the doors of the ship opened, and the frigid air smacked her in the face.

“Someone get the power on and get those shield doors closed!” Leia commanded, “Looks like a storm is really kicking off out there and I don’t want us all to freeze to death,”

Rey nodded enthusiastically in agreement, jumping in surprise as a pair of large, furry arms wrapped around her frame, tiny in comparison. She tipped her head back and smiled gratefully up at the Wookie, the heat from his body helping to take away at least some of the chill.

“Th-thank y-you, Chewie,” She stuttered, her jaw still spasming with the cold. Leia turned to her kindly.

It was clear the place hadn’t been used in generations. Snow and frost covered almost every surface in the hanger and there was debris everywhere.

“Nobody has been here since the Empire attacked,” Leia explained as they walked through the hanger, “The power generations will be completely shot but if we’re very, very lucky, the smaller backup generators might still have some juice in them,”

“If?” Rey exclaimed, still holding onto Chewbacca. Leia smirked at her.

“Yup, If,”

“I’ll go and see what I can do,” Poe said from behind them, “It’s a bit of a fixer upper but it’s the best shot we have!” he turned to look at Rey.

“Here, take this!” he said, shrugging off his jacket and putting in on her shoulders, “You must be freezing!”

Rey wanted to say no, to tell Poe that she was fine and to keep his jacket, but the leather was still full of his body heat and she desperately needed it.

“Thanks,” She said with a small smile and Poe headed off to search through the base for the backup generators.

They make their way through the base, through the maze of tunnels and corridors. Most of the rooms had been ransacked, old monitoring equipment lying trashed over the floors, the only rooms that seemed to have been spared were the barracks.

It was going to take some time but eventually, Rey was sure they could get Echo base back to some kind of working order.

00000

Weeks had passed since he had last seen her. Ben tried his best to distract his thoughts, throwing himself into his new role within the First Order. When he wasn’t dealing with First Order business, he trained. The activity, the exertion and blood rushing through his veins gave him something to focus on. He methodically would train with his saber for hours, going through the various stances and positions he had learned as a boy or setting up some training droids to take his anger out on.

It worked for a while, but once he stopped, once he was left alone with his thoughts they always inevitably drifted back to her.

More and more often he was finding that he was becoming too tired to remain angry at her. Oh, he would always start out angry, familiar rage bubbling away in his chest but eventually, it would ebb away, leaving him with a confusing mixture of emotions that he wasn’t sure he completely understood.

He was sitting in his sitting room, absently reading through some Stormtrooper reports when suddenly he felt it. She was there. Rey was sitting cross-legged on his floor. She looked different from the last time he saw her, wearing something that seemed suitable for somewhere cold, her hair down but braided to the right over her ear. Despite her outfit, she was still wrapped in a very thick looking blanket. She was reading an old book.

Her head snapped up as she sensed his presence, her eyes, wide and startled, locking with his. They sat staring at each other in tense silence.

“I thought the bond had been broken,” Rey said tersely. Ben frowned.

“I’m sorry to disappoint you,” he snapped, “but I can’t control this any more than you can!”

Rey closed her book, setting it down next to her. There was no anger on her face, he noticed. If anything, she looked taken aback at his words.

“No…I…I didn’t mean that” she said, “I assumed since Snoke…”

“Well apparently not,” Ben snapped, “He lied about a lot of things. I wouldn’t be surprised if he lied about creating the bond as well,”

“How have you been?” She asked quietly after another bout of silence. Ben wanted to laugh.

“And why would you care to ask?” He said pushing himself from his seat, pacing forward towards her, “You certainly didn’t care when you left me alone, unconscious!” Rey scowled, standing from the floor and puffing her chest in indignation.

“It wasn’t like that!” She cried back, “and you didn’t seem to care in return when you were trying to shoot the Falcon down!”

Ben was about to reply when he paused, his mouth hanging open.

_Blow that piece of junk out of the sky!_

His own angry words rang in his head. Had she really been on the Falcon? Could his order, even given in blind rage, have killed her without his knowledge?

“I…I thought you took one of Snoke’s escape crafts?” he said, his voice tense. She shrugged.

“I did but only one of the pods,” She sighed, “I was picked up by Chewie. I was in the gunner’s seat during the fight,”

Against his better judgment, Ben couldn’t help but smirk.

“You’re a good shot,” He quipped, some of the tension drained from his voice. Rey smiled sadly.

“Ben, why couldn’t you have just come with me?” He scoffed.

“Why couldn’t YOU have come with ME?” He snapped back, “Think of what we could achieve together?!” Rey shook her head.

“You know I couldn’t! The way you’ve chosen to go is a path that I can’t go down!” He rolled his eyes and it did nothing but further her annoyance.

“Oh please, Rey, you think everything is so black and white. Good and evil,” he snorted, “Well guess what, you’re wrong. I know there’s darkness in you, I felt it while we stood and fought side by side!” She shook her head.

“You’re wrong…”

“I’m not wrong, because there’s darkness in EVERYONE,” He stated, his tone clipped “The difference is that some people decide to tap into it, to use it to its full potential,” Rey frowned but said nothing and he knew he had struck a chord.

“And that’s what you did?” She asked. Ben sighed, she really had no idea.

“That’s what I had to do…”

“You wouldn’t understand,”

“Then MAKE me understand!” She exclaimed, rushing towards him, suddenly standing inches away from him and her blanket lying in a heap on the floor behind her “Help me to understand why you can’t come back!”

He wants to answer her, but something in his gut twists and the anger and pain is back. Why should he open himself back up to her? Why should he give her the chance to betray him all over again? No, it was too late for that.

Without warning she shivered violently, wrapping her arms around herself. Ben frowned in confusion, her previous question forgotten.

“Where are you?” He asked. Rey shook her head.

“I really can’t tell you…” Of course, she couldn’t, he thought. Why should she?

“You’re shivering,” he stated plainly, “Badly. Are you on a ship?” Rey sighed.

“Well if you must know I’m on the Falcon and we’ve landed somewhere freezing,” she said, “But that’s all I can tell you!” He nodded.

“Fine, I don’t need to know,” he conceded, “You should at least turn up the heating in the ship,”

“We’re saving fuel. Besides, everyone else seems fine. It’s just me and my constant need to be hot,” Ben smirked.

“You know if you’d accepted my offer…the rooms here could be as warm as you like…” Rey’s expression sharpened, and he held his hands up in mock surrender, the smirk still on his lips.

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“You go from being supreme leader Ren, all serious and angry to…to…”

“Say it…”

“To being Ben Solo!”

He scowled the anger building in his chest once again. His eyes darkened, and she took an involuntary step back from him.

“You don’t know anything about Ben Solo…” She lifted her chin, meeting his eyes in challenge.

“I think I know you better than you think,” She said, “It scares you…”

His reply was on the tip of his tongue when just as quickly as she had appeared, she was gone, leaving him alone in his room, a faint chill and the smell of frost still lingering behind. Ben stumbled back to his chair and sighed, wondering where they could possibly go from here.


	2. Chapter 2

For days, Rey’s last words to him tumbled around his head.

_I think I know you better than you think…it scares you…_

Really, Ben wasn’t sure what he was angrier about, that she presumed to know how he felt or that he wasn’t sure himself. It had been over a week since Rey had materialised in his rooms and he hated to admit that the feeling of anxiety that had taken root in his gut was because of her.

He missed her, despite her infuriating line of questioning. He scowled to himself. Why did she always feel the need to question him? Why couldn’t he come with her? Why does he resist the light? Why does he believe in the First Order? Why? Why? Why?

It was exhausting.

But he still missed her.

The bond they shared seemed so much more vibrant when she was near him. It tingled and vibrated, her light mixing with his darkness creating a warmth that he hadn’t felt in so long. The dark side may have brought him great power, but it created a coldness that ran through his body. After so many years he had grown used to the feeling but suddenly feeling her light, her warmth then having it taken away abruptly somehow made the chill bite that little bit harder.

He had just finished training when she appeared to him again. She was standing dressed head to toe in a white outfit suitable for freezing temperatures. She was grinning, holding food in her outstretched gloved hand.

“I’ve never seen anything like you!” She gushed affectionately.

It frustrated Ben that he couldn’t see who or what she was interacting with. The food in her hand disappeared and she reached up to rub whatever it was she was talking to. He smiled in amusement, realizing that she must have been talking to an animal. Awkwardly, Ben cleared his throat and she whirled round to face him, surprise on her face. It was hard to his disappointment when the surprise gave way to cold indifference and she turned back to the animal.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” He apologized. Her face softened.

“It’s alright,” she muttered, “It’s not like either of us can control this,” He nodded in agreement.

Ben was trying to convince himself that he was going to remain quiet until the bond closed again when his curiosity took over.

“I don’t want to interrupt. I know you don’t really want to speak with me but…who or what are you talking to?” He quickly worried he had said something wrong when a hurt expression flashed across her face.

“I…I never said I didn’t want to speak to you…” She stammered, becoming flustered as he walked closer towards her.

She could tell he had just finished training, wearing nothing but a sleeveless black top, black trousers, and boots. His skin was shining with a light sheen of sweat and his hair was disheveled. Rey’s breath hitched in her throat as she looked at him. He huffed.

“Well from the way you left things last time…”

“Me?!” She retorted, “You were the one being stubborn! You were the one refusing to answer my questions!” Ben glowered at her words.

“What makes you think that you deserve to have your questions answered?” He growled, “I opened myself to and you left…”

“I left to save my friends…” the excuse sounded weak to her ears, her voice small. Ben rolled his eyes.

“Yes, so you’ve said,” he drawled. Rey sighed at him, running a hand through her hair in exasperation.

“Ben, we can’t keep having this same fight. We just can’t…” She sighed, “We’re going around in circles,”

“We wouldn’t be if you weren’t so stubborn…”

“Ben!” he held his hands up.

“Alright, fine,” He conceded, “You’re right. Constantly asking the same questions is getting us nowhere,”

Finally, Rey smiled at him and he felt the odd pressure he had been holding in his chest tighten. Unbidden, he smiled back.

“So, what do we do now?” he asked. Rey looked thoughtful.

“This is going to keep happening,” Rey concluded, “And we can’t just ignore each other…Ben, I don’t want to ignore you,”

“I can’t ignore you either,” he echoed, “Do we just…talk?”

Rey smirked. “Isn’t that what friends do?” Ben raised an eyebrow, taking another step towards her.

“Is that what we are? Friends?” he inquired, his voice low.

How could his presence have such an effect on her? Rey felt her heart quicken in her chest feeling the heat from his body so close to her own, his eyes drilling into hers waiting for an answer. She knew the truth. Finn and Poe were people so considered friends, caring about their wellbeing. Ben was so much more than that, but she felt like there wasn’t a word to describe it.

“We’re something alright,” she implied.

Boldly, he reached out and held her hand, the sudden skin on skin contact sending shivers across her body. Without warning, she felt something stir within her. Across their bond, she could feel cold tendrils of darkness wrapping around her light, pulling her further towards him. He was so close to her now.

“What are you doing to me?” she said breathlessly. “That darkness, I can feel it…” Ben smirked, his own heart hammering in his ears.

“That’s not coming from me,” He whispered, “Why do you think the Jedi rejected attachment? Feelings like love, passion, lust are far more powerful than simple selfless compassion…I know you can feel it…you’re shivering all over…”

“It’s a cold planet,” She quipped, her voice quivering. Her eyes fluttered closed as he leaned forward, his nose stroking against hers.

Against all logic, a primal need driving her, Rey tilted her head to close the gap between them only to find no purchase in anything solid. The bond had closed itself and Rey found herself standing alone, darkness and desire still twisting around her. Quickly, Rey became very glad that she was alone with only a few tauntaun to stare at her. She frowned at the animals.

“Don’t look at me like that…”

Little did she know, across the galaxy, Ben Solo was grinning.

When the bond had broken he had almost stumbled forward, the weight he was leaning into suddenly disappearing, leaving him feeling a little foolish but also elated.

Darkness had manifested itself in her, without any instruction. Whatever she was feeling for him was influencing her relationship with the force and the thought excited him more than he ever thought it would.

A thought invaded his mind pulling the whimsical smile from his face. Did he really want Rey to be taken completely by the dark side? While it would have made his life a little easier, was that really what he wanted? He leaned against the wall of his training room, running his hand through his messy hair absently.

Part of the reason he had been so drawn to Rey was her light, her warmth. It had intrigued him, being unlike anything he had felt before in the force but once the bond had opened, when she had learned more of his past and he had broken through her icy walls and they had begun to find common ground, he realised his attraction to Rey was much deeper than just a bond through the force.

It was the reason he was still so wounded by her rejection.

He shook his head. No, he didn’t want her to turn to the dark side, not really. He just wanted her to acknowledge that she held those tendencies, that she felt the pull to the dark in the same way he felt the pull to the light.

Their bond drove him to distraction the way it would just come and go as it pleased and he began to wonder if there was a way to strengthen it. If they could work out a way to control it. He smiled lightly at the thought. It was time to do some research.

00000

Wrapping up as much as she could, Rey decided she needed a distraction. So when Poe asked her if she would help him fix the main generators out in the open fields, Rey decided it was just what she needed to take her mind from those dark eyes and the feelings that they stirred.

Holding the reins of her tauntaun in hand, she pulled her goggles down, staring out into the great white plains of Hoth from the tunnel entrance. The blizzard had died down leaving bright blue, clear skies but a crisp wind was still whipping around her. She barely registered Poe coming to stand next to her.

“You ready?” He asked with his familiar, sideways smile. Rey nodded.

“I think so,” She replied, “I’ve, um, I’ve never been out in the snow before…”

“Really?!” Poe exclaimed, “Aw man, of course...I didn’t even think! Well, we’ve picked a great day for it and I’ve been told the weather should hold,” He patted her arm reassuringly, “Do you need help up?”

“I got it!” Rey said, swinging herself up into the tauntaun’s saddle, “How far do we need to go?”

Poe pulled himself into the saddle of his own mount then pulled out a pair of binoculars, looking out to the horizon.

“Not too far, maybe twenty klicks or so,” he guessed, “We’ve managed to get most of the structure back together but it’s just the inner components needing put back together. If we get this done today then echo base should be back up to full power,”

“Oh, my stars! Does that mean…” Poe grinned.

“That means heated bunks!” He laughed.

The thought of the base finally having some heat in the rooms was all Rey needed to hear and her apprehension had turned to excitement. They spurred on their animals and shot out into the wild, the biting wind hitting the exposed skin on Rey’s face like a whip.

Quickly she realized why she was told to wear goggles. If the wind stung her skin in that way, she didn’t want to imagine what it could do to her eyes.

Rey was still in awe of all the differences she saw in the galaxy. Hoth was so different, the complete opposite to Jakku. Constant snow and ice as opposed to the blistering heat and unrelenting sun. She could hardly believe sometimes how different her life had become in such a short span of time, ever since running into Poe’s little orange and white droid.

“Where’s BB-8?” Rey asked.

“He’s back at the base,” Poe answered, “He’s not great in the snow of all things so he’s helping Leia out with getting some communication relays up and running,”

With the speed they were travelling, they reached the generators quickly. Poe was right, Rey noticed, they had done a lot of work already. They climbed from their tauntaun’s, tying them off. Poe grabbed his tools from the saddlebag on his mount and they wadded through the thick snow to the large panel on the side.

“Help me with this,” Poe said, indicating the large panel on the side of the circularly shaped generator. Rey gripped one of the sides and on the count of three they lifted the panel off, sitting it off to the side, revealing all the circuitry.

“Ah, now I can see why you needed my help,” Rey quipped, and Poe looked slightly bashful.

“Yeah, this kind of circuitry isn’t exactly my forte,” He noted, “Think you can handle it?”

Rey looked back at the board. It was badly scorched, and a lot of the wires needed replacing but she was confident she could get something done. She nodded. 

“It might take a while, but I think I can get it working,” She dragged the tool bag next to her and pulled her gloves off, “Well…as long as my fingers still have blood in them…”

Methodically she began stripping the old burned wires away while Poe stood watch.

“So, it’s just the two of us here,” Poe began, “How are you holding up? Really?”

Rey’s hands stilled in her work at his words, unsure of what to say. There was no way she could tell Poe the whole truth, especially about her bond with Ben. After everything the pilot had been through with the First Order, she couldn’t be sure how he would react.

“I’m still trying to process it all,” Rey said carefully, “A lot happened. It’s hard to take it all in,”

“Look, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to…but what actually happened up there?”

She sucked in a breath, pulling her hands away from the wiring and letting her tools fall to her side. With a huff she turned from her kneeling position to sit in the snow, Poe coming to sit next to her.

“If I tell you, you must let me finish,” She warned, holding up her index finger in caution, “I’ve barely spoken about this to anyone…”

“Even Finn?”  Rey shrugged.

“He’s been so busy with Rose,” she explained, “Anyway, I went to the supremacy because of something I had seen in the force…something that I’m still so sure of. I was brought before Snoke…he tortured me…”

A shudder ran through her remembering the feeling of Snoke rummaging through her mind. She was sure he had been purposely violent in his actions. Poe placed a comforting arm on her shoulder, his eyes urging her to carry on.

“But Ben…he saved me. Snoke had ordered him to kill me but instead Ben turned the lightsaber on him. We fought the guard together, side by side and I’ve never felt so connected to another person. I was so certain he would turn back to the light, come back home, but when it was all over…” She sighed, “Well, it doesn’t matter now,”

“I’m sorry, Rey,” Poe said quietly, “Sounds like you’ve had a hell of a time,”

“The worst part of all is that I can still feel the light in him. I feel the conflict,” Poe sighed.

“I remember Ben…” he said quietly. Rey sat up a little straighter.

“You do? I didn’t know that you knew him?” Poe nodded.

“Oh yeah! We met as kids,” He said wistfully, “My Dad had a bit part in Leia’s personal security when she was working diplomatic trips and a lot of the time she had Ben with her. We were so close in age, so I guess we naturally got pushed together, there was never anyone else for us to talk to!”

Rey smiled imagining the two men as young children. Poe with his cocky grin, probably getting into all kinds of trouble and Ben with his expressive serious eyes and ears slightly too large for his young frame.

“What was he like as a child?”

“We were seven or eight years old when we met, and he was, well, he was way more serious than I ever was,” he laughed lightly but with sadness, “I was always the one trying to convince him to pull off pranks or to get into places we weren’t meant to. He was always the one trying to talk me out of it. Then again, he was the son of Leia Organa and I was just some little punk…more was expected of him,”

He looked off into the distance in thought. Rey wanted to say something but sensed that he wasn’t quite done.

“He was sad. He told me about the force and about how people tended to treat him with suspicion because of it but it wasn’t until I got older than I learned the real reason. Being a force user and the grandson of Darth Vader couldn’t be easy, even having Luke Skywalker as an Uncle…The last time I saw him…”

“Yeah?” Rey urged him on, her own curiosity and need for information taking over.

“The last time I saw him as Ben Solo was the day he was leaving to go to Luke,” Poe confided, “I was tracking him down to try and hang out, but he was ready to leave, already there in those Jedi robes...he hadn’t even told me they were sending him away…”

Poe felt a sting behind his eyes and quickly he was glad he was wearing his goggles so that Rey couldn’t see the expression. She didn’t have to see, she could hear it in his voice, tears forming in her own eyes.

“Do you miss him?” She pondered. Poe inhaled sharply through his nose, wiping at his face with his cold, gloved hand.

“My friend, Ben Solo, died a long time ago,” He confirmed, “It’s easier to think of it that way…but yeah, I do miss him. He…He was my best friend,”

Rey’s heart hurt at his words. Ben, who thought he was so alone, really had no idea just how many people loved him. How many people really wanted him to come home. Poe let out a something between a laugh and a sob.

“Sounds strange…to say it out loud after such a long time, but hey, it’s between me, you and the snow, right?”

Rey offered him a small smile, the pilot's bravado returning after showing her a side of his personality that she had never seen before.

“Poe, if I could bring him back…after everything he’s done…could you accept him, or do you think Ben is really gone?” He was quiet, thinking about his answer. He pushed himself to his feet and held his hand out to her.

“Nobody is ever really gone, Rey,” he answered, “I think that deep down, most people want to believe in the good…but maybe ask me when my ass isn’t being frozen,” Rey laughed and grabbed his hand, allowing him to pull her to her feet.

“Come on, we’re almost done,” he said, “lets get this hunk finished and get back to the base!”

Rey finished her work as quickly as her cold hands would allow her but as her fingers numbed she was finding less purchase on her tools. In her haste, she caught her index finger on the soldering iron, crying out in pain at the contact.

“You alright?” Poe asked. Rey was about to reply her assurance that she was fine, but he had already taken hold of her hand, inspecting the wound.

There was something about the way he was holding her hand, something was too familiar about the touch. There was a tenderness as he rubbed the cold away from her palm, something more than just friendly. It made her feel a little uncomfortable and she admitted to herself it was because this wasn’t the man she wanted to be holding her hand in such a way. Poe smiled at her softly.

“Doesn’t look like there’s going to be any permanent damage,” he uttered quietly, holding her eyes, “Let’s get this finished,”

He let go of her hand slowly but as soon as she was free, Rey pulled her gloves on, ignoring the sting of her new wound. She wanted to forget that the moment had ever happened. Together they placed the panel back onto the large generator, the machine starting up with a loud hum. Rey grinned. Finally, something was going her way and she didn’t feel altogether useless.

They packed away their tools and mounted their tauntauns with the intention of heading back to the base when something caught Rey’s eye.

“What’s over there?” She called to Poe. He squinted to where her finger was pointing.

“Looks like a cave,” He shouted back over the wind.  Rey felt a tingling through her body, a quickly excited urge to explore taking over her senses.

“Let’s have a look!” She exclaimed, nudging her mount. Poe looked uncertain.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea Rey,” He said, his voice wavering, “There’s a lot of wildlife around here that isn’t too friendly,”

“Come on, where’s your sense of adventure?” She grinned, “I just want a quick look and then I promise we can head straight back to the base!”

Before Poe could form a response, Rey was already kicking her tauntaun in the direction of the cave. He growled in annoyance, moving his own animal in pursuit quickly before he lost sight of her. He figured it would have been far worse to lose her completely.

They pulled up to the cave entrance, dismounting and taking in the sight. They pulled off their goggles and took in the structure. There was no rock like Rey assumed there would have been, the whole place was made of ice, smooth and glinting in the light that came from the entrance.

“This is amazing!” Rey gushed, “It’s like it’s made of glass…” She strode further inside, her eyes wide and full of wonder. Poe stayed further back, still wary of the idea.

“Yeah, it’s…very pretty,” He commented awkwardly, “Rey, I really think we should be heading back…”

“There’s nothing here, Poe, you’re worrying for noth…”

A loud cracking sound cut off Rey’s words and she froze in her movement, her eyes darting around the structure to try and pinpoint exactly where the noise had come from. Poe’s widened, knowing exactly what was happening.

“Rey don’t move!” he shouted in panic, “You’re standing on a frozen lake!”

She turned around to face him, another splintering cracking sound coming from below her feet.

“What?!”

“There’s water under that ice!” he yelled, holding his hands out to stop her, “If you move too suddenly you’ll fall through it,” Rey stilled all her movements.

“What do I do?!”

“Can you use the force to pull yourself over here? Or move your feet closer?” Rey shook her head, her eyes wide in alarm.

“I…I don’t know…”

“Well you can’t stay there all day you gotta try something…”

Rey nodded at him, swallowing hard and taking shallow breaths. She had never been plunged into a frozen lake before, but she had heard stories of people who had died trapped below the ice. It wasn’t something she wanted to experience first-hand.

Slowly, without lifting her foot, she slid one foot across the ice. Her breath caught in her throat hearing the cracking and snapping sounds that the ice below her made and she dared to look down to see the splintered ice fracture below her.

Poe’s wide terrified eyes were the last thing she saw before she was plunged into the freezing water below.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who am I kidding, I'm too impatient to go days between updates. 
> 
> Shall we say, 3 a day if I can? That seems like a nice number...

General Hux wouldn’t stop talking.

Ben found himself sitting at the head of a long black table in the boardroom of the Finalizer as Hux chaired a progress meeting with the various high-ranking officers of the First Order. He stifled a sigh, his eyes scanning the data pad in his hand without taking in any of the information.

The meeting was nearing it’s second hour and Ben was itching to leave. Everything that had been important to hear had been covered in the first twenty minutes and now Ben was certain that Hux was talking for the sake of hearing himself talk. He did his best not to sigh listening to the ginger irritant talk about their military positioning, the systems the First Order were looking to move into next. Surely this was something he could have read over in some reports, in his own time. As supreme leader, Ben was certain Snoke was never subjected to this kind of torture.

A piercing ripple in the force suddenly caused Ben’s head to snap up from looking down at the table, his eyes sharpening. The fine hairs on his arms stood on end, a shiver running up his spine. His skin had begun to tingle like thousands of tiny needle pricks. He inhaled deeply, doing his best to keep his breathing controlled. Something was very wrong.

Swiftly, he stood excusing himself and ignoring the indignant sneer from Hux as he stalked from the boardroom as quickly as propriety would allow him.

Rey.

He knew deep down that something must have happened to Rey. There was nothing else that he knew of that could cause the force to act this way. The muscles in his legs were twitching painfully with the strain of stopping himself from breaking into a sprint. There was nothing he could do until he reached the privacy of his rooms.

Ben locked the door behind him, immediately dropping to his knees in the center of the door, his hands resting on his thighs and his eyes closing. He inhaled deeply, the air shuddering through his nostrils while his body trembled with the sensations. What was happening to her?

He had to calm down, he told himself. There was no way he was going to be able to concentrate if he couldn’t get a hold of his raging emotions.

Slowly, he steadied his breathing, reaching out and focusing on the force. The bond was clearly always there, connected in the background he assumed, he just had to find a way to tap into it.

In the cold darkness, he suddenly felt it, a small golden spark of warmth radiating. He focused on the light, following the path it was leading him down.

00000

Rey thought she knew was cold felt like. She did.

She had felt snow in her hands, chilling her skin. She had felt the freezing sea spray of Ahch-To splash on her face, fresh against the breeze.

Nothing could have prepared her for how she felt now.

As soon as Rey landed in the water below the ice, she couldn’t feel the cold. All she could feel was pain. Like hundreds of thousands of needles all pricking her skin at once, like razor sharp knives stabbing into her lungs, driving all the air from her body.

She wanted to kick her legs, to flail her arms, anything that would make her body move but she couldn’t. Her limbs felt useless and heavy.

Her mind was clouding quickly, the force slowing around her. The last thing she heard before darkness took her completely was a very familiar voice echoing inside her head.

00000

“Rey!” Poe screamed, watching as his friend disappeared below the ice.

Without hesitation, Poe pulled off his outer layers and sprinted to her, jumping into the water. The freezing liquid hit him and he gasped at the sudden contact. He swallowed a huge breath then dove below the surface where he saw her floating lifelessly.

Kicking as hard as he could, he reached her, grabbing her lifeless body around her waist with one arm and using the other to pull them both to the surface. The freezing air hit his wet skin like razors but he couldn’t focus on anything else except getting Rey to the tauntaun.

As quickly and carefully as he could, he dragged her to the thicker ice, stripping his wet clothes and pulling his dry outer layer on. It didn’t help much but it was better than nothing, it would do Rey no good if he died of hypothermia too. Holding her body in front of him on his animal, he sped towards Echo base as quickly as he could.

“MEDIC!” Poe screamed as soon as his tauntaun skidded to a halt in the hanger, “I NEED A MEDIC!”

“What happened?”

“She fell through some ice into a frozen lake…” He answered the question of a Resistance member as he was met.

The Resistance medics took Rey from Poe’s arms, quickly laying her down on a medical gurney that was being wheeled in.

“We need to get her out of these wet clothes and into some heat, fast!” One of them said. Poe could only nod in agreement as he walked quickly next to her bed.

Her bed was pulled into the medical room and immediately their doctors began working on her, cutting off her soaking, freezing clothes and wrapping her in heated, thermal blankets. One of the medics began to contract her chest, willing the blood to pump through her body until her heart could perform the task on its own.

“Is she going to be alright?” Poe asked. He was pushed back from her bedside by a medic.

“Poe, wait outside, you need to let us work,” the other man said, “We’ll let you in when you can see her okay?”

Poe could only nod helplessly, watching from outside the open doorway.

00000

He had found her. Not only had Ben found Rey, but he noticed their connection was far stronger than it had been before. He looked around his surroundings, his stomach dropping when he realized he was in a medical bay.

Then he saw her, lying lifeless on the bed wrapped in thermal blankets while a medic compressed her chest at a steady regular pace. She was so pale, her lips turning a sicking colour of pale blue. He felt rooted to the spot at the sight, panic gripping his heart. He barely was able to move out of the way of another Resistance medic as she walked past him. While he was certain they couldn’t see him, Ben wasn’t sure if they could touch him or even sense him and he wasn’t willing to take the chance.

“It’s been minutes if her heart doesn’t start on its own…”

Now he knew why he couldn’t sense her consciousness. He could feel their bond, but it was the way it felt when she was sleeping. Alive but still and silent.

“Rey?” He whispered frantically moving to the side of her bed, “Rey, please say something? Anything!”

The panic he felt in his chest only got worse at her lack of response. His eyes manically looked at the scene before him, the medic still compressing her chest keeping the blood flowing. He growled to himself. Healing had never been something he had been good at.

He reached out to her, feeling her body in the force and seeing her slowing heart in his mind. She needed warmth, light. How could he offer her that? In dismay, Ben realised that he wasn’t sure he could offer her that, but he had to try.

Pushing through his own pain, he began to conjure memories. He thought of the first time he had seen Rey, her strength and her light. When they had fought in the forest and she had properly wielded the force to her advantage, his excitement and awe at her raw power. In his mind, he recalled the look in her eyes as she told him he wasn’t alone and for the first time in so long, he actually believed those words.

Ben took all of those feelings she conjured in him and pushed it towards her. Rapidly, the machines she was hooked up to began to beep.

“It’s back!” the medic called, “Her hearts beating on its own again!”

Ben let out a relieved breath, his hand reaching to hold hers which seemed so small and fragile in his own. His chest constricted painfully when it suddenly occurred to him how close he had come to losing her. If he hadn’t felt her, if he hadn’t reached out to her, she would have been gone.

_I’ll destroy her…_

His words to his Uncle ring in his ears and the thought makes him feel sick. At the time he knew his actions and thoughts had been clouded with anger and the string of betrayal but now, seeing her lying there and knowing she had almost been taken from him, Ben knew there wasn’t a single chance he could ever be the cause.

“She’s out of the woods now,” he heard one of the medics say, “She should wake on her own, in time,”

His head was beginning to throb, the strain of keeping their bond open and using the force to heal her taking a toll and he knew, as much as he didn’t want to, that if he didn’t want to do himself harm he would have to disconnect and soon. At least he knew she was out of immediate danger.

He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“I promise I’ll return,”

His words hung in the air around her, his lips barely away from her as he disappeared from the room.

00000

Soft. She was lying on something soft.

That was the first thought that came to Rey’s mind as the dark haze slowly began to lift. The only sound she could hear was the steady beeping of a nearby machine. The last thing she could remember was standing on the ice and Poe’s horrified face as the ice gave way below her feet. She frowned, her eyes still closed.

While it was Poe’s face that she remembered, Poe’s voice was not the last she remembered hearing.

Ben.

She couldn’t make out exactly what he had said but the rich timbre of his voice had slowly moved through her mind. It was like he had called her. She twitched her arm, someone was holding her hand. Ben?

Slowly her eyes opened, bleary at first while they adjusted to the light. Whoever was next to her shifted their face above hers. As her vision focused she realized it wasn’t the person she really wanted to see.

“Rey! Thank the maker you’re awake, how are you feeling?” Poe asked, a wide, relieved smile on his face. Rey blinked up at him, gathering her thoughts.

“Um, a little weak,” She muttered, “How long have I been here? How did I even get here?”

“I fished you out of the water when you fell in,” Poe confirmed, “Got you back here as fast as I could. You’ve been out for a good few hours,”

Rey nodded lightly, letting his words sink in. If she had been unconscious for all that time, did Ben know what had happened? Had he been there, with her?

“What?” Poe asked, “What is it? You look a little far away…”

“Just…still coming to,” Rey uttered, “Not quite completely with it yet,” Poe nodded in understanding.

“I’m going to go and get the doctor, let them know that you’re awake,” he pressed a kiss to the back of her hand, “I’m so glad you’re going to be okay,”

Something about the look on Poe’s face made Rey suddenly feel uncomfortable. It was the same look he had given her when she burned her finger, something sensual and deeper than friendship was lying there and she really hoped that she hadn’t given him any kind of false signals.

Since landing on Hoth, Poe had always been around. Finn spent most of his time with Rose. The small engineer was recovering slowly from the crash but still needed a lot of care, something Finn was more than willing to do. The result was that he wasn’t around as much. Poe spent a lot of his spare time with Rey, talking about their lives, their experiences with machines and flying. Rey liked the pilot a lot, but certainly not in a romantic way.

Not when there was another set of dark eyes she couldn’t get out of her head.

It was hours after the doctor had been and gone, declaring that she was going to be fine and was extremely lucky to be alive.

Rey lay back on the bed, her eyes staring up at the ceiling of the med bay when she felt a presence in the room, a familiar muffling coming over the ambient sounds around her. She turned her head and he was there.

Ben was standing at the edge of the room, but it was the look on his face that took Rey back. His mouth was slightly open, his lower lip almost trembling and his eyes, those dark, fathomless eyes were wide with relief.

“Rey,” He breathed, moving to her bedside and grabbing her hand, “What happened to you?” She pushed herself up to sit, slightly shaken by the sudden familiarity.

“It was my fault,” She muttered sheepishly, “We found this cave and I wanted to have a look. I didn’t know there was a lake under the ice and I fell through…”

“Maker, Rey,” he fretted, “You could have been killed!”

“I know. If it wasn’t for Poe…”

“Poe. Poe Dameron?” He asked flatly, his face turning blank. Rey nodded.

“Yes, Poe,” She replied, “He pulled me out of the water and got me back here,”

Ben nodded in thought. He knew the pilot was there but had never occurred to him that he would have been spending time with Rey. Stupid, he thought, of course, someone like Poe Dameron would be found around someone like Rey. He let go of Rey’s hand, not unkindly, and paced back and forth, a scowl on his face.

“If he hadn’t, we wouldn’t be having this conversation, Ben,” She said patiently, “He saved my life,”

Ben huffed.

“I saved your life,” He countered, turning back to face her. Rey’s mouth hung open in shock.

“So, you did see me…”

“Yes, I did,” He stated, going back over to her bedside, holding her eyes, “You…your heart wasn’t beating…”

His voice trailed off, quiet and unsure, and Rey realized that he had been afraid. Truly and genuinely afraid.

“I felt you. I felt what was happening and I found a way to reach out to you. You were so still and pale…I managed to latch onto you for just enough time to heal your heart, but I had to break the connection,”

“But why?” Rey whispered, tears forming in her eyes, “Wouldn’t it be so much easier for you to just let me go?”

Rey didn’t dare break eye contact with him as he sat on the side of the bed facing her, his hand coming to cup her cheek gently.

“Surely you know?” he croaked, “I can’t lose you,”

She stilled under his watchful, unsure eyes as his hand slid from her cheek around the back of her neck and he closed the distance between them.

The kiss was tentative and careful as if she might disappear at any moment and he was still painfully aware that she had almost been lost only hours ago. He was caught off guard when she deepens their kiss, her tongue almost forcing its way into his mouth causing him to groan lightly against her.

When they finally broke apart, the need for air overtaking them, both were breathing heavily, Ben’s forehead coming to rest on hers.

“What do we do now?” she whispered, “I can’t keep away from you anymore. I don’t want to pretend you don’t exist, I can’t,”

“I know,” He said, “For now…you need to get some rest,”

Ben moved to leave the bed, but she pulled his hand back.

“Stay with me?” She asked, “Until the bond closes?”

When she was looking at him with her wide, hazel eyes, who was he to deny her anything.

“Alright,” He answered simply.

She shuffled over to make room for his large frame, his arm going around her head as she settled against his chest. The bed was a fraction too small for the pair of them, Ben’s leg dangling off one side awkwardly, but it was worth it for the feeling of having her in his arms. Things were far from perfect, there was still so much they had to work out, but that was for another time.

Soon she had drifted into a peaceful sleep against him, Ben keeping to his word and staying until the bond closed. The only evidence of his presence is the strange position the doctor later found Rey sleeping in when he came to check on her.


	4. Chapter 4

At the doctor’s orders, Rey had spent another four days in the medical bay, so they could keep an eye on her vitals, making sure that the cold hadn’t done any lasting damage. By the time she had reached day two, she had been practically climbing the walls from boredom.

“And just what do you think you’re doing?” Ben’s smooth voice reverberated from behind her as she had slipped out of bed, preparing to pull her boots on and make a break for the door. Sheepishly Rey turned around to face him.

“Well, I’m feeling better, so I thought I would go for a walk…” she suggested but before she could finish her sentence, he was already next to her.

In one swift motion, he picked her up in his arms, carrying her back to the bed and putting her down.

“Ben!” She squealed, “I honestly feel fine!”

“You were told four days bed rest and that’s what you’re going to do,” he said seriously. She frowned up at him, but he shook his head, “It’s two more days, Rey, just two more days. Can you just…do as your told?”

“Urgh, fine,” She conceded, “I’ve been trying to read these books, but I can’t understand them…”

She nodded to the ancient Jedi texts on the table next to the bed. Ben moved to sit next to her and she handed the first book to him. His eyes widened in amazement as he flipped through the pages.

“These are…Where in the maker's name did you get these?” he asked in awe. Rey shrugged awkwardly.

“Before I came to you…I…kind of…stole them,” she answered, avoiding his incredulous gaze. His eyes sparkled while his lips quirked into a smirk.

“Rey? Stealing from Luke Skywalker?” He said in mock offense, “No, even better, stealing from the ancient Jedi order! Whatever will we do with you?” Rey rolled her eyes.

“Well I’m glad I did,” She stated, “Now that Luke is…”

Rey trailed off, suddenly realizing what she was about to say as the smile fell from Ben’s face. After everything that had happened between them, Rey realized that they hadn’t talked about what they had been through. Parts had been brought up in arguments but nothing close to sitting and talking.

Ben shifted uncomfortably, his eyes darkening at the subject.

“We really should talk about...”

“No,” Ben said sharply, but his voice softened, “Just...not yet,”

She wanted to push the subject but since her accident things had been better between them, things had been easier. Deep down she knew that it was a mistake to leave things. They had so many issues that they needed to address but for now, she decided, it could wait.

“So, you can’t read these?” He commented, changing the subject abruptly. Rey sighed.

“Nope, and it doesn’t matter how many databases or logs I’ve tried. There’s nothing on this language, it’s too old…”

“I can read it,” Ben quipped, his voice nonchalant. Rey stared at him open-mouthed.

“Really?” She said. He nodded, flipping through the pages with a passive expression.

“But I won’t,” Rey frowned.

“Wait, why not?” He closed the book, turning to look her in the eye.

“Because there is nothing in these books that you need to know,” He said simply.

“That can’t be true! There’s five of them, surely at least one of them will have something that I need to know?” He shrugged.

“Well, that depends,” He drawled, “Do you want to be the sole member of an antiquated cult that doesn’t take sides and forbids attachments of any kind?” Rey shot him a confused look.

“What? That can’t be right…” Ben laughed lightly as he nodded.

“I promise you, it is,” he confirmed, “The Jedi order, while they agreed and maybe even encouraged compassion and empathy for others, they strictly forbade attachments,”

“Why?” Rey asked, shuffling closer to him, hanging on his words.

“They believed that strong emotions like passion and love were a gateway to…darker…emotions like fear and anger, which would lead to the dark side,” he explained.

“So…this?” She gestured between the two of them. Whatever ‘this’ was.

“Would be extremely frowned upon,” He finished, his voice amused.

Rey sat quietly looking thoughtful. For so long she had always put the Jedi on a pedestal. She remembered and internally cringed at how she beseeched Luke to bring back the Jedi order as if it was going to be some magical solution to stopping the First Order and their march through the galaxy.

“Well, I still want to read them,” She concluded, “Even if I don’t want to follow what they say, I still want to read them,”

“Why?” he huffed. Rey smiled at him.

“Because I like learning new things,” She elaborated, “I’m not asking you to teach me, or even train me, I just want to get the basics of these texts,”

Ben sighed, smiling slightly as she gave him wide, imploring eyes.

“Maybe,” He relented, “I might put something together to help you learn the language…but don’t ask me to teach you any of it!”

He couldn’t fight the feeling in his chest as she beamed at him. When she smiled at him, all the other issues he was fighting to ignore seemed to melt away. He knew they had issues to work through, issues he wasn’t ready to face, but for now, with her smiling at him, he didn’t want to be anywhere else.

“How did you learn this anyway?” She asked. He shrugged.

“I’ve always liked old texts,” he explained, “Ever since I was a kid. Reading, writing, proper calligraphy. There’s an art to it that’s almost lost…and it kept me calm when I needed something to focus on,”

“Focus on?” Ben frowned lightly, and Rey couldn’t tell if he was annoyed or uncomfortable, but she ignored it. If they were going to progress in any way, he would have to learn to talk to her.

“For as long as I can remember I had the force with me. I can control it now, obviously, but imagine trying to function as a normal child, let alone the child of two of the most famous people in the galaxy, and have this power that you didn’t know what to do with. Calligraphy and writing was a way to make everything…quiet,”

Without warning, Rey shuffled against him, wrapping her arms around him. He stiffened at her sudden touch before suddenly relaxing against her. He laughed gracelessly.

“I know, it probably sounds ridiculous…” Rey shook her head and he felt it against the back of his shoulder.

“It’s not stupid,” She stressed, “Anything that makes you happy isn’t stupid so don’t you dare think that,”

He wanted to argue with her. The only person who had ever encouraged his passion had been his mother. Any time she left the planet, she always returned with gifts for him. New pens, quills, parchments, books. He knew it was partially out of guilt for leaving, for going on yet another diplomatic mission when she should have been with him, but she would always sit with him while he wrote and encourage him with an indulgent smile.

His father had been another matter completely. Han had tried, at first, to at least put up the pretense of enthusiasm about things Ben enjoyed but the older he became the more cracks he saw in his Father’s act.

Ben had loved going on trips with his father and Chewie, always being told that it was to be their little secret and not to tell his mother. It was one of the few things they bonded over. Once the force really started to manifest itself in him, his father became distance, fearful and slowly over time those trips came to an end.

“I wish I’d had something creative to do when I was a kid,” Rey mentioned. Ben looked at her quizzically.

“Didn’t you?” Rey smiled tolerantly.

“Between working for Plutt and trying to find enough scrap every day to feed me or trying to keep creeps away from me? No, I didn’t,”

Ben felt an overwhelming surge of pity for the young girl. His childhood had been far from perfect, but on a basic level, at least he never had to worry about where his next meal was coming from or the roof over his head, or even worse. Rey’s eye sharpened.

“Stop that,” She said flatly, her arms leaving his body to wrap around herself.

“Stop...what?”

“Pity. I can feel it,” She elaborated, “I don’t need your pity and I don’t want it so just…stop,”

“I’m sorry,” He said softly, moving to pull her against his chest, “I just wish I could have done something to prevent it,” She shrugged in embarrassment.

“Can’t be helped. You didn’t know I existed,” She sighed at the hurt on his face, “But you’re here now. That’s what matters,” He pressed a kiss to her temple and she sighed at the soothing feeling.

“Literally, at least for as long as the bond lets us,” he said, “We should work on strengthening the bond,”

“Any idea on how to do that?” He nodded, looking down at her.

“Meditation seems the best bet. If we both focus on the bond, the more often we do it, the stronger it should become,” Rey looked away and he felt a flash of annoyance, “What?”

“It’s not something I’ve done,”

“Didn’t Luke show you?” Rey smirked, remembering the first time Luke had instructed her to reach out through the force. She could still feel the sting in her fingers. She shook her head.

“I can show you the basics, but I don’t know how much longer I’ll be with you for…maybe reading might be better…” Rey smiled at him innocently.

“And where might I be able to read about force meditation?” She asked sweetly, her eyes darting between Ben and the texts on the table. Ben tried to look annoyed, but he couldn’t keep the smile from his face as she grinned at him. She had him.

00000

“General Hux, we’ve made some progress on the location of the rebels,”

General Hux stopped in his tracks, taking the datapad from the officer who was standing waiting for his next instruction.

He scanned the information, his eyebrow raising as he read.

“The Hoth system,” He said to himself, “How interesting, we should have known…how long will it take us to reach them?”

“The fleet can be there within a week, sir,” the officer confirmed. Hux nodded sharply.

“Set a course,” he commanded. The officer looked uncomfortable.

“Should I confirm this course with the Supreme Leader?” Hux narrowed his eyes dangerously and the officer nodded in understanding.

“Yes, sir…Sorry, sir,”

The officers walked away from Hux back towards the bridge, leaving the red-headed man to continue his steady paced walk down the hall.

Since Crait, Hux had known that something was amiss. He had watched Kylo Ren lose control on the planet surface causing the remaining Resistance members to escape. Of course, he knew the Resistance couldn’t possibly be a threat to the First Order, there were so few left and very few planets were willing to put their security on the line, even for Leia Organa.

It was the principle. How would the other systems learn to respect the First Order and toe the line if they showed any kind of mercy towards rebels? No, the galaxy needed order, it needed a structure.

Their Supreme Leader seemed distracted. Torn. Hux had a hard time believing that the girl, even one so supposedly powerful, could murder a powerful being like Snoke. He was certain that Ren must have helped, he just needed proof.

He sneered at his thoughts. Ren thought he was being so subtle in his actions but Hux could tell a mile away, his eyes practically screamed his emotions and he wondered if that was the real reason why Ren had worn a mask for so long.

He smiled to himself at his plan. They would descend on Hoth and drive the rebel scum from their base and eradicate each of them, all except two. Leia Organa and the girl would be taken, he would make sure of it.

Then he would find out exactly where Kylo Ren’s loyalties lay.

00000

“I’m so glad to see you up and about,”

Rey smiled kindly at Leia as they sat together in her office, the older woman sitting a steaming cup of caf in front of her. It was the only room on the base that hadn’t been organized yet, crates and boxes still piled up in the corners.

“I mean it, you really gave us a scare!”

“I know…”

“Thank goodness Poe was with you,” Leia commented, her eyes catching Rey’s.

“Yeah, I owe him one…” She muttered, suddenly becoming very interested in her hands. She didn’t like the look Leia was giving her.

“You know…I think there’s something there,” Rey shrugged.

“I’m sure he’s just being nice,”

“No, I’ve seen Poe being nice…this is more than just being nice,” She stated but slowly the smile slid from her face and she turned serious.

“I know you’ve been through a lot,” She sighed, “What happened up there, Rey?”

She sat silently staring down at the mug of hot caf in her hands, swirling the dark liquid around in the cup. She wanted to tell Leia everything, but, how could she?

“I…don’t even know where to begin…” She uttered quietly. Leia reached forward, putting her hand on Rey’s in an act so motherly it almost brought the young girl to tears there and then.

“Start from the beginning,” Rey nodded tentatively.

“Luke didn’t want to train me as a Jedi, but I learned other things that opened my eyes to some truths. I was certain that Kylo Ren…Ben…would turn back to the light if I went to him,” Leia gasped.

“You walked straight into the First Orders hands?” Rey smiled defiantly.

“I did, and I would do it again,” she confirmed, “I only…I wish I had acted differently,”

“Go on…”

“I could feel the conflict in him, but I was taken to Snoke. He…he tortured me. I could feel him in my head, pulling out every painful memory that I had until he found what he was looking for…”

Tears quickly formed in her eyes, spilling over her lashes and running down her cheeks. Since escaping she hadn’t had a chance to think about what Snoke had done to her, how it had felt to have him in her mind. She shuddered.

“I was so afraid,” She cried, “But Ben saved me. He seized a chance and killed Snoke. We fought together until there were no guards left…”

Leia leaned forward where she sat, her face resting on her hands and her elbows on her knees, hanging on Rey’s every word, her own eyes shining with tears.

“I thought he was going to return with me but he…he…I was so blind to think he would just turn away from it all so easy. I had to leave, I couldn’t just let you all die…”

“So…you left him?” Leia asked.

“I didn’t want to!” Rey cried, “but I didn’t know what to do, I was so confused and scared, and I just had to get out of there. I made sure he was still alive, and I took one of Snoke’s pods. It took so long for Chewie to find me, so I could make it to the planet surface…and, well, you know the rest…”

Leia regarded Rey carefully, her own eyes glistening with tears. There was something else there, something that Rey wasn’t telling her that she couldn’t quite work out, but she didn’t want to put pressure on the young woman. She had been through so much.

“You called him ‘Ben’,” Leia commented quietly. Rey shrugged sheepishly.

“He is Ben Solo,” She said, “He’s there Leia, I can feel it!” Leia gazed at her evenly, taking in her words. She sounded so hopeful, something Leia hadn’t heard for some time.

“I hope you’re right, Rey,” She sighed, “I truly hope you’re right,”

00000

“Finn, buddy!”

The ex-stormtrooper grinned widely at Poe. He had been spending most of his time at the base with Rose while she was recovering, and it made him a little guilty that he had barely seen or spoken to his best friend since they had landed on Hoth.

“Hey! I feel like it’s been so long,” He said. Poe smirked, sitting down across from him at the mess hall table.

“That’s because it has been,” He quipped, “Seriously, how is Rose doing?” Finn smiled.

“She’s doing better. Doctors have let her move to her room and all being well she can start taking on light duties around here. Which is good, she’s been going crazy!”

“So was Rey and she was only down for a few days!” Poe said. Finn smirked at the pilot.

“So...Rey huh?” Poe poured himself a cup of caf and raised an eyebrow at the look on his friends face.

“What about her?”

“Well you’ve been spending a lot of time together,” he commented, noticing that Poe looked a little bashful.

“Yeah, we’ve been talking. What’s your point?” Finn held his hands up innocently.

“Not making a point, just an observation,” He said, “Unless you want me to be making a point?” Poe sighed.

“I don’t think she’s interested…” he sighed, sipping his drink.

“What makes you think that?” Poe looked at a loss for words, struggling to describe what he was meaning.

“I dunno, she just seems really distracted,” He clarified, “Any time I think we’re getting close, she’s like a scared animal…she bolts, she makes excuses,”

“Look, Rey has been through a whole lot in a short space of time,” He said carefully, “She didn’t even really have friends until I met her, and she’s been thrown into a fight that she didn’t ask for. Just, tread carefully and I’m sure eventually she’ll come around,”

Poe nodded at his friend, taking in his words. He hadn’t really thought about things from Rey’s point of view and it made him feel slightly guilty. While he had been part of the war for years, joining the Resistance from his early teens after the death of his father, Finn was correct. Rey had been thrown into the war head first by circumstances she never asked for.

There was no denying that he was feeling something for Rey. He smiled, he just had to bide his time.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who am I kidding, I can't hold my cookies. I'm pretty much going to update as often as I reasonably can with this story...
> 
> Comments are always appreciated <3

Leia sat in the command room, absently watching the holo of the Hoth system floating in front of her, casting a blue glow around the room. Other Resistance staff continued to wander around her, carrying on with their tasks and various roles.

It was, so far, all quiet in the Hoth system, she was relieved to see. She had hoped that the First Order was slightly scattered due to the loss of their leader. Even with a new leader already stepping up to take the previous place, it was enough to give the Resistance a chance to regroup. With any luck, the First Order would have written them off completely since there were so few.

Her downtime had given Leia time to reflect on the talk she had with Rey. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust the girl, far from it. She was quickly coming to regard the girl as family, treating her like the daughter she never had. Her worry stemmed from a fiercely instinctual need to protect the girl.

She had shared her story, about how she tried to confront Ben, how she had tried to bring him back to the light with her and how he had offered her a place by his side. Leia wasn’t blind, she saw the look of sheer heartbreak on Rey’s face as she described leaving him behind.

How could she feel so strongly towards a man that she barely knew?

No, there was something there that Rey hadn’t told her. Something the girl wasn’t ready to tell her.

Restlessly, she tapped her fingers against the side of the console until eventually, she decided to get up and go for a walk, a nervous energy forcing her body into action. She roamed the halls, eventually coming to the quiet hanger. Across the expanse, she spied the young woman she had just been thinking about, standing near where the tauntauns were stabled.

Quietly she observed the girl. She was leaning against the stall wall and smiling, her eyes shining but she wasn’t looking at the animals. Leia frowned. Rey’s gaze was looking upwards, but her eyes were focused on something as if it were right in front of her.

Suddenly Rey laughed at something, blushing and tilting her head prettily towards the ground. She spoke words to thin air that Leia couldn’t hear. The woman squinted at the sight. There was definitely nobody there.

The poor girl had been through so much in such a short space of time. Who knew what she needed to do to cope with the emotions, with the stress. Leia remembered once, as a child, having an imaginary friend to talk to, to share secrets with, but that had been when she was six years old. Was Rey so affected by it all? Maybe she needed to spend more time with her friends.

The smile fell from Rey’s face and she stopped looking up, turning her attention to the tauntauns in their pen, petting one of them on the nose. Quietly, Leia slipped back out of the hanger, making a mental note to check in with Rey more often.

00000

Ben didn’t even bother to look up from his desk at the sound the door to his office made and he lazily called for whoever was there to enter. General Hux walked in, his back completely straight and his long black coat flowing behind him.

“Supreme Leader, we have confirmation that Mandalore is a prime location for mining operations,” the general declared. Ben continued to stare at the datapad in front of him.

“and why are you telling me this? Surely, it’s within your capabilities to organize something as simple as mining,” He drawled. General Hux barely contained the annoyed look on his face.

“The issue is that the colonies on Mandalore are not agreeing to First Order terms and many of the residents are Resistance sympathizers. According to our protocols, I can’t order any kind of strike against the planet unless the Supreme Leader gives the army express permission,” he explained, clearly as unimpressed with the situation as Ben was to hear about it.

Ben put down the datapad as he thought about the situation. It was standard First Order practice. If a planet had something they needed, they took it. There was no debate about the subject, but an air strike would mean casualties. It would mean innocent people would be injured, probably even killed.

Even though they had agreed not to talk about First Order or Resistance business, at least for the moment, he knew that Rey would eventually hear about it. She would want answers, to hear his reasons for giving an order like that. Something in his head was telling him to reject the order, that they could find another way to gain resources, but with General Hux standing in front of him waiting for the answer he wanted, Ben felt the weight of the galaxy on his shoulders.

“Carry on, General Hux,”

00000

Rey was sitting on the floor of her room, surrounded by metal pieces, wires, and various different tools. A data pad was propped up next to her and she was reading from it intently before looking back to two separate pieces of the broken lightsaber.

“You know, I do have some experience in this if you want some help?” She heard Ben say from the side of the room. He had appeared ten minutes ago and was now lounging on Rey’s bed, his head propped up on his hand.

“Thank you but I really want to try and work this out for myself,” She said not unkindly, “I like building things,”

“I know you do,” he said, “but I also know, first hand, how frustrating it can be to build one of these things when you’ve never done it before. Have you meditated on the kyber crystal yet?”

Rey blinked at him. He nodded and pushed himself off the bed.

“I’ll take that as a no,” He said, “That crystal belonged to Anakin Skywalker and then it belonged to Luke Skywalker. You’d be able to use the weapon, but did you ever feel like it was disjointed? Like it was fighting against you?” Rey looked thoughtful.

“and here I thought I was fighting well…”

“You do!” Ben assured quickly, not liking how defensive she became, “But to make that weapon yours, really, completely yours, you need to meditate on the crystal. You need to basically put your force into it,”

“And I do that by?”

Ben walked over to where she sat cross-legged on the floor, gently kicking debris out of the way, he came to sit behind her, each of his long legs stretched out on either side of where she sat, her back against his chest.

“Alright, take the crystal out of the old chamber and place it in front of you,” He instructed, and she did, “Good, now, close your eyes and reach out,”

She closed her eyes, breathing deeply and evenly, trying to focus all her energy on the force around her. She could feel the delicate balance that she had learned from Luke, the life of the people on the base pulsing around her, the essence of the kyber crytals and its former masters, but there was something else.

That familiar darkness had begun to wrap itself around her light, the cold mingling with the warmth and swirling together. She continued to breathe, expecting a struggle. She had always been told that the darkness would choke out the light, that it only served that one purpose.

She could feel him in the dark, his controlled, even breathing on the back of her neck sending shivers up her spine. It was difficult to concentrate on anything except him, the feel of his body against hers, his essence wrapping around her own, but she continued to do as she was told, sending all of her that she could into the crystal.

“Let go,” he whispered, kissing the back of her neck, his lips barely a breath against her skin.

Love and lust, light and dark mingled together, swirling between them and their bond practically sparked with energy and power. She knew she wasn’t alone and that he could feel it too. The crystal hummed with life in front of her, practically quivering from the strain. Her eyes flew open and she sucked in a breath.

“That was…what was that?!” she gasped, “Is that what meditation is meant to be like?” Ben shook his head.

“Um, no,” He stuttered, “Not normally. Not on your own, that was us. Our bond pulling us together. It’s incredible, I’ve never felt power like it!” He glanced over her shoulder to the crystal, “That’s…new,”

“What?” Rey looked down at the gem glowing in front of her and she reached down to pick it up. It glowed a soft purple.

“Does this mean something?” She asked, turning the crystal over in her hand. Ben gently reached around and took the crystal from her fingers to examine it for himself.

“I’ve only ever read about it…” he said in awe, his eyes dancing over the light.

“Read about what?”

“Balance,” He stated, “It’s a balanced crystal,” Rey frowned.

“I don’t understand…” Ben shook himself from his trance, handing the crystal back to her.

“A balanced crystal only occurs when the force user walks the line between the light and the dark perfectly and can maintain it for long enough to impart it into the gem. It’s very difficult to do, there have only been a few known records of it happening,” He explained. Rey smiled.

“It’s both of us,” She said quietly, “There was no way I could do this alone. It had to be coming from the bond,” Ben nodded.

“And did you feel the power between us?” he asked seriously, “Did you feel what can happen when you let the darkness in?” Rey bit her lip in thought. He was right, in a way.

“It wasn’t just the darkness Ben,” She said defiantly, “There was light there too and I know you felt it. One isn’t stronger than the other,”

“I…you’re right,” he conceded, “You’re right,” He dropped his head to her shoulder, kissing the spot between her shoulder and neck.

“You should be here with me,” He whispered against her and she sighed, closing her eyes at the feel of him, desire pooling in her gut.

“I can’t,” She breathed sadly, “You know I can’t. What you are to them, what you do…” He sighed harshly, standing up from her suddenly and she felt the cold on her back where he had been, trying not to whimper at the loss of his body.

“Rey, think of what we could do together,” He reached down to her, his face emphatic, “We could do so much for the galaxy, I want to give you that!” Rey stood up, placing the glowing crystal in her pocket.

“Can’t you see that I don’t want the galaxy?” She cried, “I’ve never wanted that. All I ever wanted was you!”

He stilled at her words and looked at her face. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears and he hated that they were having this conversation again, the same conversation that always made her cry, but he had to make her see. She belonged with him. They belonged together and the kind of power in the force they created was something the galaxy had never seen before.

But there she was, his beautiful Rey standing before him telling him that she didn’t want the stars handed to her, she didn’t want anything else that he could give her, except himself. Why did he find that so hard to believe?

“And you have me,” he promised, “can’t you see there’s so much more that needs to be done?” Rey closed her eyes tightly, tears spilling down her cheeks.

“Ben, I can’t…the things you’ve done…the things the First Order is still doing. You’re their leader, it all starts with you! You know how I feel about it…”

“Yes, I do know,” he said flatly. Rey wiped the tears from her eyes.

“Then why? Why continue?”

“because I believe in what I’m doing!” He shouted, immediately regretting raising his voice to her as she shrunk away from him in fright. He took in a deep breath, “I’m sorry. Rey, I’m trying to make changes, I’m already trying to change the way the First Order are doing things, but these things take time, especially when my accession to Supreme Leader is being called into question…I just, I need you to trust me,”

He held out his bare hand to her and Rey stared at it. Almost like before when he was standing in front of her, his hand outstretched asking if she would trust him, stand by him. Only she was in so much deeper than she had been back then. She placed her hand in his and he pulled her to his chest with a shy, relieved smile.

“I do trust you, Ben,” She sighed against his chest, wrapping her arms around his torso and enjoying the feeling of him holding her fast against him.

00000

Poe was walking through the base, two hot steaming cups of caf in his hands. Occasionally he nodded and smiled in reply to those that greeted him in the halls, but his mind was focused on one person. The girl he was looking to talk to.

He knew that Finn was right, and his advice was sound. Rey had been through a lot and what she needed now more than anything was a friend, someone she could talk to, maybe even a shoulder to cry on and Poe was more than happy to be that shoulder.

His reputation as a lady’s man among the Resistance was well known. He didn’t have long-term relationships or attachments, they only distracted him from his mission and on more than one occasion he had been burned by that, accidentally hurting girls who thought they could change his mind.

Rey seemed different to him. She was interesting, she was excited by new things and gods if he didn’t want to show her all kinds of new things. He’d have been blind not to notice how beautiful she is. Those large, expressive hazel eyes, pale skin, and strong, lean body. That combined with an endearing innocence stirred something in Poe. He wasn’t alone, he saw the way some of the other men looked at her.

He smiled to himself as he spotted her, half of her torso hanging out from under one of the fighters, a stray hand feeling around next to her and grabbing one of the tools.

“Hey there,” Poe called to her. Rey stilled then pulled herself out from under the fighter.

“Poe, hi there,” she said, somewhat caught off guard, but she smiled at him in good nature anyway.

“I thought you could maybe use the break,” He held out one of the cups to her and she sat up from her position on the ground, taking the cup from his hands and inhaling the scent deeply.

“Lots of sugar and cream as per usual!” he commented proudly, and she grinned at him.

“Thank you, I appreciate it. I was beginning to flag a bit,” She said, taking a sip.

“So…how are the jets looking?” he asked, grasping for something to talk about. Fighters. He understood tech talk and it was comfortable common ground. Rey scratched the back of her neck in thought.

“They’ve seen better days but honestly, considering how old they are I’ve definitely seen worse,” She confirmed, “All things considered, I’d say we’re fairly lucky. How is the recruitment side of things coming along?”

“Leia’s been on contact with most of the core planets that aren’t under First Order control. Most are too afraid to openly rebel, but a few are giving us covert support. You know, sending a substantial amount of credits and funds,”

“That’s a good thing, right?” Poe nodded, sipping his caf.

“Without a doubt. You know what they say, money talks,” He quipped, “It might not be manpower yet, but at least we’ll have the resources for new equipment, better weapons, accurate surveillance…unless you like maintaining these old girls?” Rey laughed lightly, and Poe could feel his gut flutter at the sound.

“Oh, definitely,” she said in mock seriousness, “There’s nothing I love more than sending out pilots in ships that may or may not decompress in space!”

He joined in her laughter until both quietened and a silence began to stretch between them. He had to think of something else to talk about, quickly, but she was making it hard staring at him with those bright eyes.

“Um, so, Jedi texts...any luck with those?” he stuttered awkwardly. Rey smiled, looking away from his face. Was she blushing? Was that because of him? Maybe taking an interest in her force studies was the way forward, Poe thought.

“Actually I have,” She enthused, “I…well I found some information on the language and I’ve been able to work out the basics of what some of the pages are saying and it’s been very useful,”

“That’s good,” Poe said lightly. Rey looked smug.

“And he said there was nothing to gained from them too,” She uttered smugly. Poe looked confused.

“Who said that?” his confusion only grew at the sudden alarm on Rey’s face. Clearly, she hadn’t meant to say that.

“Umm…Luke! Luke Skywalker, he said the books were old and useless,” she blurted out quickly.

“The legendary Jedi master Luke Skywalker told you that the sacred Jedi texts were useless? That sounds a little unbelievable,” Rey rolled her eyes.

“It wouldn’t be if you’d spent time with him, believe me,” she drawled, her eyes rolling slightly. Poe didn’t have the slightest idea what she was talking about, but he smiled anyway.

“Listen, I was wondering, do you maybe want to get dinner tonight?” he asked, nerves running through his body making his hands shake. Why was he nervous? He’d never had problems asking girls out before. Rey nodded and smiled at him.

“That sounds great,” She replied.

“Really?” he asked, taken aback by her sudden eagerness to spend time with him. It wasn’t that she avoided him but it would be the first time he had officially asked her to spend time with him.

“Of course,” she said as if it were the most obvious response in the world, “Oh, and I’ll say to Finn and Rose. I’ve not really spent a lot of time with them lately, so it’ll be nice to catch up,”

Ah. The smile slipped from Poe’s face as realization set in. She hadn’t realized he was asking her on a date. Of course, moron, he thought to himself. She wouldn’t realize. It’s not like she has a lot of experience of men asking her on actual dates. He fixed the smile on his face again.

“Actually, I was thinking more…”

Out of nowhere, he heard the familiar rumbling sound on the floor and he turned towards the noise to see BB-8 rolling towards them at speed. Oh no. The droid focused his lens on Rey, beeping his message to her.

“Alright, I’ll go there now,” Rey turned to Poe apologetically, “Leia wants to speak to me about a few things straight away. I have to go, but I’ll you at dinner. I’ll let Finn and Rose know, thanks for the caf!”

Before Poe could put together a sentence, Rey was already on her feet and dashing out of the hanger to go and speak to their General, leaving Poe standing alone with his caf, glaring down at BB-8.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, smut. We've been waiting for you...

He was all around her, their bond completely open and tingling with sensation. Ben had appeared to her without warning and now Rey found herself pressed against the cold wall of a small alcove hidden at the back of the hanger, his large body against hers, his hands roaming her body.

They kissed frantically, a deep primal need taking over her body, her hands grasping at his shoulders and in his hair, his own hand tangling with her brunette waves, pulling the half ponytail askew. Suddenly she could care less about the cold, a desperate need for him growing in her.

“Rey?”

A voice echoing through the hanger made her pause, her whole body stilling against him despite his insistent tongue. The voice called again, and he groaned quietly when she pulled away from him.

“Rey, are you in here?”

“Leia!” She whispered panicked, quickly smoothing down her clothes, hearing the older woman’s footsteps come closer to her location. She glanced at Ben who was nonchalantly smoothing his own black tunic and hair.

“How can you be so calm?” Rey hissed at him. Ben grinned, clearly pleased with a joke that Rey wasn’t in on.

“Well she can’t see me,” He chuckled, Rey’s glare only serving to amuse him further. Rey stepped out of the alcove and was met by Leia’s perplexed face.

“Leia! What can I do for you?” Rey exclaimed, her words pitched. Leia’s eyebrow raised.

“The recon teams are back and we’re having a meeting in an hour…what happened to your hair?”

Rey’s hands shot up to her head, feeling where the hair had been unceremoniously pulled from his half ponytail and was sticking up at all angles. She laughed nervously, pulling the hair out of the failed style and smoothed it down.

“It…um…must have been caught on something,” Leia nodded slowly.

“What are you doing back here anyway?” Rey shrugged helplessly looking around her. There really was nothing in the back of the hanger save for a lot of old, large crates.

“Just exploring, I guess,” She said inwardly wincing at her own awful excuse, “Looking for anything useful. Old habits die hard and all that,”

Leia’s face softened, and Rey breathed a subtle sigh of relief until she heard undignified snickering from Ben, still leaning in the alcove. She turned her head and glowered at him, Leia following her gaze.

From where Ben had been standing, he couldn’t actually see his Mother, only hear her voice. That was jarring enough but as she strained round to see what Rey was looking at, Leia’s eyes locked with his.

He knew she couldn’t see him, but he was frozen to the spot, his heart thudding in his chest, thundering in his ears. She was there, right there. She looked older than he remembered but no less regal. Rey saw the look on his face, her heart breaking for him.

“Nothing, I just thought I heard something,” She said quickly, pulling Leia’s attention back to her. Leia nodded.

“Alright. My office, one hour,” She said turning around and beginning to walk away. She stopped, taking one last look at Rey.

“Are you certain you’re alright?” Rey nodded enthusiastically, and Leia returned it, though her eyes remained skeptical. Rey stood in place watching the other woman until she was completely out of view before returning to Ben’s side.

“Are you okay?” She asked quietly. He was standing in shock, his eyes staring off into the distance until Rey brought her hand to his cheek, pulling his attention back to her face.

“I…I’m not sure,” he uttered, “I’m not sure what I expected to feel,” Rey bit her lip, unsure how to proceed.

“You know, if I told her about this…about us…you could speak to her?” He met her thoughtful gaze with a pained expression.

“And say what? I’m sorry?” He let out a humorless laugh, “I wouldn’t even know where to begin with that conversation,”

“If we’re going to be together, eventually, you’re going to have to speak to her…”

It was true. He knew it was true. He and Rey hadn’t really discussed their future much, that meant dealing with the absurdity of their present and both were too content in blissful ignorance. The future would mean that one of them would choose a side, that the war would be over. He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“I know just…not yet,” He said softly, “I just can’t do it yet…” Rey nodded in understanding, giving him a gentle kiss.

“I understand,” She said, “But you know we’re going to have to talk about it eventually. For now, I’ll just let Leia continue to think I’m losing my mind,”

“Hmm, perhaps we have been a little too reckless. Maybe we should keep quiet until you’re in your room?”

“And how about you? Don’t people wonder what you’re doing?” He shrugged.

“Perks of being the supreme leader I suppose,” He said simply, “Nobody bothers me unless they absolutely have to,” His head turned suddenly as he heard something on his end, his face falling between sadness and annoyance.

“Like, right now for instance,” he mumbled, “I must go,”

He kissed her once more, soundly, before concentrating. She felt the open bond fizzle away to just a dull presence in the back of her mind and she watched Ben disappear in front of her.

00000

“So…last night was supposed to be…”

“Yes,”

“But Rey invited me and Rose?”

“Yes,”

“And she still has no idea that you wanted it to…”

“No,”

Poe groaned, his head flopping forward and hanging over the stick of his X-wing. He was sitting in the cockpit while Finn stood on the metal stairs leading up the fighter. Finn suppressed a laugh without much luck and Poe growled.

“It’s not funny!”

“It’s a little funny,” Finn said, “Come on man, you got cockblocked by your own droid!” BB-8 gave an indignant response from the back of the X-wing.

“How were you to know? Buddy, from now on, if I’m talking to a pretty girl, just assume I don’t want to be interrupted,” Poe explained while turning to BB-8 who beeped in response.

“What’s the plan then? Are you going to ask her out again?” Finn asked. Poe shrugged helplessly.

“I dunno man,” He sighed, “Sometimes I think she’s totally interested but then she’ll get so skittish and…she’s like a wild animal looking to run any minute. Maybe it’s too much for her right now,”

“She has been through a lot,” Finn agreed, “I passed by her room last night and I was sure I heard her talking to herself,” Poe raised an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah? What was she saying?”

“I couldn’t make it out much through the door, but I was sure I heard her say ‘Ben’,”

“Poor kid,” Poe sighed, “I think she’s taking everything really hard,”

Contemplative silence fell between the two men as they thought about their friend. Rey hadn’t really shared with them what had happened to her, as far as they knew she had only really told Leia the truth, but they didn’t want to pry or force her into talking. Not before she was ready.

“You know what, I think I will try again…if anything, I think I’ll be able to take her mind off things,”

00000

A knock at the door of her room made Rey look up from her reading and she threw the datapad onto the bed next to her.

“Come in?” She called. Her door whooshed open and she saw Poe there with a smile fixed on his face.

“Hey there Rey,” he said lightly, “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” She replied, watching as he walked into the room and the door closed behind him.

Something felt odd to her. Something in his manner as he walked into her room. He had the same look in his eyes as before, something that was intimate, and it made her feel decidedly uncomfortable.

“Is there something I can do for you?” She asked. He gave her a sideways grin that any other woman probably would have found charming, but it made Rey almost squirm uncomfortably.

“Actually, I was coming to see if there was anything I could do for you,” he said, “How are you doing?”

Rey frowned at him, not liking how condescending his question sounded combined with the way he was looking at her. Why was he treating her like she was a fragile little girl all of a sudden?

“Um, I’m fine…thank you?” She said, confused. He sat down next to her, slightly too close for her comfort as his leg brushed against hers.

“Well I was thinking, you know that we’ve been getting pretty close…” He began. Rey felt her stomach drop.

“Uhuh…”

“and I was wondering, what if we went on a date?” Rey could have sworn she felt the blood drain from her face and she hoped that Poe didn’t notice.

“A date?” She choked, blinking at him. He nodded, smiling widely.

Rey jumped up from her place on the bed just as his hand moved to rest on her thigh when she suddenly felt the familiar hum of the Force.

_Oh no, not now…_

She felt Ben’s presence before she saw him but even from the corner of her eye, she saw his face darken instantly.

“What is HE doing in your room?” Ben growled, glowering at the pilot who sat blissfully unaware on Rey’s bed waiting for an answer.

“Umm…”

“Rey?” “Rey?”

She squeezed her eyes closed as both men questioned her. All she had wanted was a quiet afternoon off to herself. She turned her head continuously looking between Poe and Ben.

“What are you looking at?” Poe asked, watching as she seemingly kept turning to look at the wall.

“She’s looking at me!” Ben snapped. Rey turned back to Poe.

“Um…never mind,” Rey muttered, “Listen, it’s very nice of you to ask…”

“Ask you what? What did he ask you!?” Rey ignored Ben’s question, not wanting to have to explain to the other man why she was replying to thin air.

“But I don’t think it’s appropriate,” Poe stood up, walking over to her, standing so close Rey had to take a step back.

“Get away from her!”

“Why not Rey? We get along well, I think we could have fun,” Poe exclaimed.

Rey cautioned to glance at Ben, the look on his face sending goose bumps across her skin. The last time she had seen him so angry, there had been a lightsaber in his hand and he had thrust it through a praetorian guardsman’s chest.

“Was in here to ask you out?!”

“Poe, I’m sorry but it’s not going to happen…” Poe reached out to hold her hand and Rey quickly felt Ben’s own hand on her wrist pulling her back, so he could stand between them, his face a mask of incandescent rage.

“Don’t you dare touch her!”

Poe frowned in confusion as he tried to move closer to her, finding that something invisible was blocking his way.

“Oh, come on, you don’t need to use the force to hold me back…” He sighed.

_If that’s what he thinks I’m doing, then fine. It’s an easier explanation…_

“Poe, I’m sorry, I think you’re very nice and you’re a great friend but…I’m seeing…someone else…” She stammered. Poe stared at her while Ben slowly turned around to do the same, one of his eyebrows raised so high it was practically in his hairline.

“Ah, I get it…lucky guy,” Poe said sadly, “Do I at least know him?” Rey was trying to fight the furious blush threatening to bloom on her face.

“Oh, I’d say you do…” Ben growled, and Rey shot him a scowl.

“No, you don’t know him,” Rey said finally, her tone leaving no room for interpretation that she wanted the conversation to continue. Poe nodded and without saying anything else, left her room. Rey only let out a breath when the door closed behind him which she quickly walked over and locked.

Ben was still angry, she could feel wave after wave of rage coming from him and radiating from their bond. Tentatively she turned around from the door to face him.

He was standing very still, his arms tense by his side, his fists clenching and unclenching as he breathed evenly trying to keep his temper in check.

“Ben?” She said quietly to him. His eyes snapped from the floor to hers, practically black with anger.

“So just how many men exactly do I have to be concerned about?” He asked, his voice quaking. Rey frowned.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“If the bond hadn’t opened, would you have even told me about the pilot?” He spat. Rey scowled at him, stalking forward, her own anger building at his words.

“I know you’re angry, but you’re being ridiculous!” She shot back, “So, Poe was asking me on a date. If you hadn’t turned up my answer would have been the exact same; No!” Ben huffed.

“and how can I trust that?”

“Because just like you’re asking me to trust you, you have to trust me!” Rey shouted. Ben scoffed.

“You won’t even tell me where you are! Your maker knows where in the galaxy surrounded by people who do nothing but talk about how evil I am and how they want to take my head! How am I to know that you’re not going to change your mind and leave…”

“Because I love you, you big idiot!”

Her hands flew over her mouth, her eyes wide in shock at her own admission. The anger on Ben’s face immediately dissolved, replaced with dumb shock, his mouth flapping open and closed as he tried to formulate a response. Slowly, Rey’s hands dropped from her face and she relaxed.

“Because I love you and I need you,” she repeated softly.

She was defenseless against him as Ben crossed the room to where she stood and in one swift motion wrapped her in his arms, his lips crashing against hers.

“Say it again,” He whispered, his voice rough as he pulled away, staring down at her with burning eyes.

“I love you,” She whispered, “And I need you,”

There was something predatory in his eyes as he stared at her, but she wasn’t afraid. Rey felt a warmth spreading through her body, her senses on fire at the building tension in the room. She had to touch him, and she grabbed the collar of his shirt pulling him back to her.

They kissed frantically, his hands tangled in her hair as she pushed him back onto her bed. Rey had no idea what was coming over her, she had never felt so bold like her admission had given her a new-found confidence over him.

His hands were everywhere, running along her body, her thighs, her breasts and she groaned at the sensation. His hands skimmed the hem of her shirt and he looked up at her, his eyes asking silent permission. She nodded and carefully he pulled the shirt from her body, discarding the item of clothing on the floor.

She yelped as she suddenly found their positions being switched, his large frame on top of her and he sat up and pulled off his own tunic. She had seen his naked chest before but at the time hadn’t stopped to truly appreciate how beautiful he actually was. Strong, solid and all hers. He leaned down onto her, carefully balancing his weight on his forearms either side of her head so as not to crush her smaller build.

“You are so perfect,” He rasped, “I love you, Rey,”

Rey kissed him soundly in response, her legs wrapping around his waist feeling his hard length restricted by his trousers. He groaned in response feeling her heat against him. She could practically feel the blood rushing in her veins and, maker, she wanted him more than she had ever wanted anything before.

Quickly, he pushed himself away and kicked his boots off, growling in irritation that they were taking even a second away from the woman lying half-naked below him. He returned his attention to her, running his hand slowly from her collarbone, over her naked breast and stomach to the waistband of her leggings. He paused.

“Are you sure?” He asked, his questioning voice heavy with lust.

“Please,” she breathed, “Please touch me,”

His hand delicately pushed below the waistband of her legging and she gasped as his fingers brushed against her clit, gently circling. Her eyes fluttered closed at the sensation and Ben moaned low in his throat. She was so wet already and his cock was painfully hard for her.

Ben’s breathing was ragged as he slowly slipped his fingers between her folds and she shuddered beneath him. He sucked in a breath as her body clenched around his fingers. She was so tight.

As she became used to him, he began to move, his own hips thrusting towards her instinctually. He had never seen anything so beautiful as he gazed down at her while she gave in to the sensations, the pleasure that he was giving her. His Rey.

“Rey, look at me,” he commanded. With difficulty she opened her eyes, meeting his own through her lashes, her vision misty with desire.

“I need you, do you hear me?” he asked, “You are all I want, you’re all I’m ever going to want, just you sweetheart,”

“I know,” she panted.

His fingers brushed a sensitive spot she hadn’t even known existed until his agile fingers reached it and she cried out a particularly loud moan. He didn’t care if anyone could hear, let them. He wanted everyone to know what he was doing to her, giving her. He kissed down her chest, taking her nipple into his mouth and sucking it to a peak.

“Ben!”

Her chest was heaving, and he could feel her hot walls pulsing around his hand, his thumb coming to circle her clit once again as he feels the flutter of her orgasm building. She was practically sobbing, her hands fisting her sheets trying to find purchase in something solid.

“I’m…I’m…”

“That’s it, let go…come for me, sweetheart,” he croons.

Their bond had never felt so open, sparking wildly with passion and love. Ben gathered as much of his feelings as he could, his devotion, the life he wanted to have with her, pushing it all through their bond and making sure she could feel every single sensation.

She whined high in her throat as she spasmed around him, grinding herself against his hand, her eyes tightly closed as wave after wave of ecstasy crashed against her.

Rey’s breathing had barely begun to return to normal when Ben quickly removed his trousers, finally releasing his throbbing erection. He was losing the ability to from coherent thoughts, roughly grabbing the waistband of her leggings and pulling them off her body.

He gazed down at her and he was certain he had never seen a more beautiful sight in his life than his Rey, lying there looking up at him with so much love and lust in her eyes. He grabbed her wrists, holding them above her head, lying over her and plunging his tongue into her waiting mouth.

Her legs wrapped around his waist, her hips automatically grinding against him and he growled low in his throat, their eyes locking as her wet core rubbed against his length.

“Ben, please…” Rey breathed.

He needed no more encouragement, positioning himself at her entrance and taking her so slowly it was almost agonizing. It was a memory he swore he would take to the grave with him, her tight heat taking every inch of him for the first time.

“Maker, Ben yes!” Rey cried out.

He set a gentle rhythm but soon her nails were raking his back and she was demanding he gave her more, which he was more than happy to comply with and he began to thrust harder, picking up his pace. Any concern he had about hurting her was forgotten, his lust and her insistent hips meeting every one of his thrusts.

“Yes Ben, Yes!” She keens as his thrusts deepen and she’s pushed harder against the pillows of her bed.

His orgasm was building fast and there was no way he was going to be going there alone. He sat back on his knees, continuing to thrust and bringing his thumb back to her clit, rolling fast circles against the little bundle of nerves. Gods, he was sure she was going to alert the whole Resistance, she was getting so loud.

“Oh, Maker, I’m so close…” she was practically sobbing.

“Come for me Rey, let me feel you around me,”

Her heels dug into his lower back, bucking her hips to meet every one of his thrusts as she called his name over and over like a prayer. He didn’t deserve her, this perfect woman beneath him, trusting him with her love, her body. It was too much for his senses.

Her walls fluttered around him, pushing him over the edge. His hands tightened around her wrists and he roared out, filling her with his release as her own orgasm milked him until the last. He collapsed against her, both breathing heavily, their eyes glazed with pleasure.

Slowly, Ben rolled from her, lying on his side and gazing down at her. She smiled up at him, pushing sweat soaked dark hair from his eyes and kissing him. Their bond hummed in contentment between them, nothing but love and devotion between them.

Using the force, Ben called the blanket that had been pushed to the floor to them and pulled it over their rapidly cooling naked bodies, holding her against him. She sighed in contentment, feeling his heartbeat against her ear.

“You are the most important person in my life, do you understand that?” He said softly, pressing a kiss into her hair. Rey nodded sleepily.

“I do,” she whispered. He smiled softly down at her, his hands running through her hair absently.

They lay in content peaceful silence, the feelings passing between their bond saying more than they needed to. He stayed with her in his arms until the bond finally closed itself, the only evidence of their time together is the scratches on his back and the smell of his soap against her skin.


	7. Chapter 7

Rey sighed, slowly waking from the most restful sleep she could remember having a long time. The space that had held Ben’s body was now frustratingly empty, but his scent still clung to her sheets and she rolled into the space, inhaling deeply and picturing his face.

She smiled dreamily thinking of his face the night before. Nobody had ever made her feel so secure or so loved before. Suddenly she remembered Maz’s words to her.

“The belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead. I am no Jedi, but I know the force,”

Rey huffed a quiet laugh. The strange little woman had been right. The force had brought her and Ben together.

She sat up in thought, pulling her sheets up over her naked body. She wished he was with her, holding her against him with his strong arms, making her feel like nothing in the galaxy could get to her.

He wasn’t going to leave the First Order, she knew that much, and Rey disagreed with too many of the practices to abandon her friends and beliefs just to join his side. Telling him the depth of her feelings, the emotions they shared together and the night he gave her, it all combined to steel her resolve.

He wouldn’t leave the First Order, but she could help him change it from the inside.

00000

The happiness that Ben had been feeling made it difficult to continue his façade of intimidating Supreme Leader but anytime he was in the vicinity of General Hux, he suddenly found it easier for his mood to darken.

Ben was walking towards the bridge on the Finalizer, his surcoat billowing behind him and his boots echoing on the polished floors when the ship lurched out of hyperspace. He paused and frowned, cursing himself. He had been so distracted with Rey, spending time with Rey and studying the force, that he realized he had been woefully uninformed about what his fleet was doing.

He had read the reports on Mandalore. The orbital bombardment had only lasted 48 hours before the planet had surrendered and their foot soldiers had landed on the ground. The casualties had been high, innocent casualties, and he hated it. Truly he did.

Since his bond with Rey, since they love had bloomed into what it was, things had begun to change in him. He believed in what the First Order stood for. True prosperity and peace for the galaxy, but their way was causing resentment. People didn’t like being told what they wanted, they had to choose.

“Supreme Leader, I’ve been told to inform you that we have arrived in the Hoth system,” An office approaching him shook him from his thoughts and he faced the smaller man with a mask of cold indifference. The Hoth system? What were they doing at the Hoth system?

“I see, who gave the order for this jump?” He asked, his voice sharp as cut glass. The officer winced, and Ben was certain he could sense the man shaking.

“General Hux, Sir,” he answered, “We are to begin our descent on Hoth in a matter of minutes,”

Ben felt a cold weight in the pit of his stomach, but he didn’t let it show on his face, nodding to dismiss the officer who walked away as fast as he could without breaking into a run. If Hux had ordered the fleet to Hoth without his consent, then there had to be a reason for it. The other man clearly hadn’t wanted Ben to know where they were going, until now. Ben continued his walk to the bridge, picking up his pace.

“Ah, Supreme Leader, you’re just in time!” General Hux exclaimed. His tone was far too smug, too proud, for Ben’s taste. Something was very wrong.

“For what exactly?” Ben drawled, hiding behind his persona. Hux smirked.

“We have found the last of the rebel scum. Hiding out in the old rebellion base on Hoth no less!” He declared, “and just like the Empire did so long ago, we have deployed ground forces to eradicate them once and for all,”

The only sign of the panic Ben felt in his system was a slight twitch in his left eye. She had never told him where she was, only that it was freezing. Snow. Now it all made sense and he felt sick.

“I see, how much of our force exactly have you sent to the planet surface?” He asked, feigning nonchalance. Hux’s face straightened, clearly irritated that Ben wasn’t giving him the emotional response he was looking for.

“I assumed we didn’t want to take any chances. 6 AT-AT walkers have been sent down to the planet,” Ben nodded.

“I’ll be in my office,”

He turned on his heel, leaving behind the ginger man who was continuing to smirk at his back. As quickly as he could he made his way to his office and it was all he could do not to break into a full-blown sprint.

Rey. He had to get to her, he had to warn her. The Resistance barely survived the last attack and if he didn’t tell her the First Order was coming, there was no way she would survive.

He entered his office, locking the door combination behind him and he fell to his knees in the center of the room, working to control his frantically beating heart. He had to concentrate, find her in the force.

They had been working on strengthening their bond, reaching out to one another at times, closing and opening the channel. He hated it when she had learned to close him off completely and they had both agreed they never wanted to feel that empty again, so he knew if he could just find her, find her spark, he would be able to speak with her.

He only hoped he could reach her in time.

00000

“You seem happy,” Finn said out of the blue.

Rey looked up from her datapad and smiled up at her friend lightly. She had been sitting in the Resistance mess hall, eating her breakfast and catching up with the news from the holonet.

“I am happy,” she replied, “Should I not be?” Finn sat down across from her.

“Not at all! Believe me, I’m happy that you are but I’m just wondering…why?” Rey shrugged, fighting the blush that threatened to rise on her cheeks, memories of her night with Ben flashing through her mind.

“Did Poe ask you out?” Rey nodded awkwardly.

“Umm…he did…” Finn beamed.

“Aha! I KNEW there had to be a reason you looked so happy!” Rey shook her head.

“Oh, no…I said no…” she explained, and Finn’s face fell into confusion.

“Really? Why? I thought you two were really hitting it off?” Rey shrugged.

“He’s a great friend and a really nice guy but…I just don’t think about him that way,” Finn nodded, disappointment clear on his face.

“Well, I guess if you’re not feeling it then…you’re not feeling it…” he muttered. Rey reached out and held his hand.

“Thanks, Finn,” She said quietly, “I knew you’d understand,”

“Still doesn’t explain why you look so happy though?” Rey rolled her eyes.

“Just let me be happy because I’m happy!”

The friends laughed together. Rey felt so light and it almost saddened her that they didn’t spend more time like this. Carefree, talking about things other than war and the Resistance. In her mind she could picture a time when they were all peaceful, Ben was home and by her side. It was going to take a long time, she knew that, but she believed deep down that it was possible.

Suddenly, a faint booming sound was heard, reverberating around the room making everyone look up from their tasks, looking around for an explanation. The sound came again, the rumbling in the room intensified and Rey watched the liquid in her cup ripple.

“What was that?” she asked warily to nobody.

The booming and rumbling continued, slowly getting louder and more intense. Finn and Rey stood from their table, looking around them at the panicked faces. Someone ran into the mess hall, panting with the effort of their run.

“It’s the First Order! They’re here!” the man shouted, the room quickly jumping into action.

Alongside Finn, Rey sprinted down the corridors of Echo Base towards the main control room where Leia was standing giving orders next to the central console.

“What’s happening?!”

“It’s the First Order, they’ve found us,” Leia said gravely, “We need to get our ships and evacuate while we can!”

“We can fight!” Poe’s voice rang from the side of the room. Rey hadn’t even noticed his presence, too involved in the immediate threat.

“No! Not this time, we need to survive Poe!” Leia ordered, “Everyone get to the ships and get off this ice cube! Take only what you need!”

“I have to get my things!” Rey said, breaking away from Finn and running towards her room.

The whole base was shaking as she ran, ice falling from the roof.

She entered her room, grabbing her brown leather bag and throwing the Jedi texts inside. It was only as she reached out to pick up the half-finished lightsaber that she realized Ben was in the room with her.

“Rey! Thank the maker!” he cried, rushing towards her.   


“Ben, what’s happening? Is it true the First Order is here?” she demanded. He grabbed her hands.

“Yes, but I swear to you I had no idea!” He stressed, “It was Hux, he went behind my back. I didn’t know until our ship was in orbit above the planet, you have to believe me!”

She swallowed staring at him, his eyes frantic and she knew he was telling the truth. He had kept his word about the Resistance so far, but he was only one man, even if he was the Supreme Leader. Could he really have kept the whole First Order at bay forever?

“You have to leave, now!” He begged, “Take my Mother and get out!”

“I can’t leave until everyone else is safe!” He growled in frustration. Damn her selflessness.

“It’s too late for me to do anything. Walkers are already on the ground and heading straight for you! Once those stormtroopers are on the ground, you’ll be overwhelmed! Please, Rey, please get out. I can’t lose you!”

Finn appeared at her open door, his own bag across his back.

“Rey!? What are you doing, we have to go now!” he shouted over the colossal rumbling. Ben wanted to scowl at the presence of that traitor talking to Rey, but he had more pressing issues and if the man got her off the damn frozen rock then so be it. Rey looked back at Ben.

“Okay, okay I’m leaving…”

“What?” Finn cried, perplexed. Rey shook her head and looked at him.

“I said I’m coming! Get to the Falcon, I’m right behind you!” Finn nodded in acknowledgment and left her doorway.

Finally, she took her blaster from her desk, taking the safety off. Ben grabbed her, kissing her desperately. She whimpered against him. He could feel her fear mingled with his own, it made him feel hysterical with worry.

She turned her head away from him, hearing shouts from inside the base. The steady rhythm of the AT-AT steps had finally stopped leaving an eerie silence that was broken by the racket of a huge explosion, the aftershock almost taking her legs from her. Ben grabbed her shoulders to steady her.

“STORMTROOPERS! THE SHIELD DOORS ARE BREACHED!”

She turned to kiss him once more, the fear in her eyes replaced with a steely resolve when he looked at her one more time.

“I’ll come back to you,” She promised. He sucked in a breath, his heart pounding in his chest.

“Be safe,” He begged, “Go!”

He could only watch, helpless, as she left her room, her blaster ready in her hands. He felt the force shift around him and he was back in his pristine black, cold office on the Finalizer. He couldn’t do anything for them on the ground, but perhaps he could buy them some time.

Urgently he left the room to the elevator, taking it to the hanger deck and stalking towards the control room. He entered the room overlooking the hanger where First Order controllers prepared to give permission for their Tie fighters to disembark.

Ten people, he noticed. He frowned, it would take a lot to clear all their minds, but it was possible. Each of the staff members straightened as he entered in an automatic show of respect to his rank.

“You will not give permission to any fighters to leave this ship,” he commanded, his voice leaving little room for any kind of questions, although he was sure they would be confused by his order. It didn’t matter, none of them would remember he had given it shortly.

“Yes, Supreme Leader,”

He focused on each of their minds, waving his hand and feeling their thoughts wrap around his. It wasn’t perfect, but it might buy Rey the time she needed to escape.

00000

Rey sprinted from her room, her back pulled over her shoulder and jostling uncomfortably against her body. The books made it heavy, but she refused to leave something so precious for the First Order to destroy.

Ahead, she could see the troopers moving into the corridors and she had to dart into one of the side rooms to avoid their blaster fire. She gritted her teeth in frustration, knowing she would have to shoot her way out.

“Rey! Are you alright?” Poe shouted. He was directly opposite her on the other side of the door frame, his own blaster in his hand.

“I’m fine! How many people are left?”

“We lost a few but almost everyone has made it to the hanger. The fighters have taken off, it’s just the Flacon and the second transport,” He reported, “There’s nothing for it, we can’t stay here, we’ll be slaughtered!”

He was right, she knew but he made it sound so easy.

“Okay, I’m going to push them back,” she confirmed, “Be ready to move when I do!”

Blaster in hand, she reached out and felt the force around her, balling the invisible entity in her then jumping out into the corridor and sending it towards the line of troopers that were running towards her and sending them back like a bowling ball smashing through pins. The troopers were sent flying.

“NOW!”

Poe and the others in the rooms followed her, running down the halls towards the hanger, shooting their way forward while Rey shielded them, deflecting the enemy blasts that came towards them.

“Where’s Leia?” Rey shouted.

“She’s on the Falcon!” Poe shouted in reply over the din, “Get on the ship!”

“I can’t leave you here!”

“You can. I’ll be right behind you, I promise!” He swore, shooting his blaster at a nearby trooper.

She set off in a sprint towards the Falcon. The ramp was still down, and Finn was there waving her forward as she ran, ducking her head below blaster shots. Slowly the ship began to leave the ground.

“Jump, Rey!” Finn screamed at her.

She leaped as hard as she could, her upper body just making it onto the end of the ramp. Suddenly a searing pain shot through the back of her shoulder, hit by a stray blaster shot. Rey cried out in pain, her grip almost failing, and she would have fallen back to the hanger floor if Finn hadn’t leaped forward to grab her.

“I’ve got you,” He confirmed, pulling her into the ship as the ramp closed and the Falcon began to quickly pick up speed to leave the atmosphere.

Her shoulder was throbbing with white-hot pain as she felt herself being moved to the side of the cargo hold. She felt light-headed, the red patch on her shirt growing from her wound. The last thing Rey heard was the faint voice of Leia confirming to them that they were going to make it.

00000

Something was heavy in her hand when Rey woke, her eyes fluttering open painfully. Her whole upper body was stiff and aching. She turned her head to see a large hand firmly grasping hers and her eyes followed the dark sleeve up until she saw Ben’s concerned face.

“Hi,” she said quietly. He sat down on the side of her bed.

“Finding you in a medical bed is becoming too much of a habit,” he sighed. He was trying to sound flippant, but Rey could sense the tension behind it.

“I’ve been known to have a clumsy streak,” she said smiling.

She winced at the pain in her shoulder as she tried to push herself up, her left arm giving way with the pain and Ben reached forward to hold her.

“Careful!” he cautioned, “It looks like you took a shot to the back of the shoulder,”

“How do you know that?” he shrugged.

“The bond has been open for a while now,” he explained, “I saw them dressing your wound,”

“Looks like I’ll be on bed rest again,” She muttered. He pulled his free hand behind her head, leaning forward to press his forehead to hers.

“I’m so sorry, Rey,” he choked, “I never wanted this to happen,”

“I know,” She sighed, enjoying the feel of having him so close, “I wish you had been here,”

“I want to see you…in person,” he said, pulling back to look into her eyes intently. She could only nod, her stomach jumping in excitement. They hadn’t seen each other in person since the throne room on the Supremacy and things had changed so much between them.

“I doubt I’ll be able to leave…wherever I am…any time soon,” She said, indicating her injured shoulder.

“If you can find out where you are…I’ll come to you,” he said finally. Rey’s eyes lit up.

“Really? You’d come to the Resistance,” he shuffled awkwardly.

“You know I can’t do that…but I can come to the same planet, find somewhere secluded we can meet…I just have to see you in person,” Rey nodded in agreement. Of course, he couldn’t just walk up to the Resistance, not after they had just been driven out again by the First Order.

 He kissed her, gently at first but soon both were taken by an overwhelming need for one another. His desperation to know that she was still alive, healthy and whole and completely his. He groaned as her tongue ran along his, her teeth nipping at his lower lip and she wrapped her arm around his neck pulling herself closer.

Their passion was short lived however when she hissed in pain, her body reminding her that she was in no fit state to continue the plans in her head. Carefully he helped her lay back down, mentally berating himself for the loss of control. He chuckled at the disappointment on her face.

“Soon, I promise,”


	8. Chapter 8

Pain. Searing pain shooting through most of his body was the first thing Poe Dameron felt as he slowly regained consciousness.

The last thing he could remember was being on Hoth, in Echo base, laying down suppressing fire so the last of the Resistance could escape the oncoming onslaught of First Order forces. He had told Rey he would be right behind her, he remembered that much. He had been taken down by a blow to the head as he tried to escape to the last transport.

Slowly and ignoring the shooting pains running through his back, he tried to move his arms and found that they were held fast against whatever surface he was on. Opening his eyes, he realized why he couldn’t move. He had been in a similar situation before.

Poe found himself strapped to a First Order interrogation chair and standing in front of him was General Hux.

“Comfortable?” Hux asked sarcastically. Poe smirked humourlessly at the man.

“What is it with you guys asking me that?” He rasped, his throat sore and dry. Hux sneered.

“I had to admit, I was disappointed that we were unable to capture the girl, but you will make a fine consolation prize,” he drawled.

Poe stared at the other man evenly, not wanting to give him anything nor give any indication that he was in pain.

“Is this the part where I’m supposed to beg for my freedom?” Hux smirked.

“Oh no, not yet…” He replied, “I have a very special purpose for you! You are going to be far more valuable to me whole than you ever would be in pieces. I’m going to send a medical droid to tend to your wounds…I need you alive,” Poe frowned.

“I’m not going to be a tool for you Hux,” he spat. Hux chuckled.

“It’s adorable that you think you have a choice,” He said between laughs, “You’re in no position to make demands, rebel scum,”

With that, Hux turned and walked out of the room, marching towards his chambers through the pristine black ship.

Capturing Poe Dameron had been an unexpected bonus of their mission to Hoth. While it vexed him that they had once again missed the opportunity to wipe out all the Resistance, including Leia Organa, this presented a whole new idea to him. A bargaining chip he didn’t even realize he had needed.

“Sir, we’ve pulled the security footage from the Supremacy,” an officer reported, handing him a datapad. Hux looked down at the pad with a smile. “Are you sure you only wanted elevator footage?”

“Absolutely,”

00000

Days passed, and Rey had been allowed to leave her bed, being told strictly not to push herself too far. The day she had been allowed up and about, Leia had come to meet her, taking her to where she would be sleeping until the Resistance could regroup and plan for a new base of operations. They had landed on Takodana, the only place Leia knew they could lie low, at least for the moment.

 Maz’s place had been rebuild quickly since the last time the First Order had attacked but there were still signs of debris lying around. Maz had visited her and was fast to reassure her that they were safe for the time being.

“How about you, how are you feeling?” Leia asked. Rey smiled at the woman.

“Oh, better, a little stiff and sore but I’ve got painkillers when I need them,” she commented, “I’m just so relieved that we got away,”

“We were lucky this time,” she agreed, “I’m just so tired of running…this needs to end soon,”

“Have you ever thought of reaching out to Ben? Try to parlay with him? I really think he’d be willing to listen!” Leia looked at her skeptically, stopping their walk.

“Do you really believe that? Even if he wanted to speak he has the entire First Order to convince…Rey, if it’s going to happen…he’ll need to be the one to come to us,”

Rey sighed but said nothing. It was true what Leia was saying and she knew that Leia couldn’t contact Ben without giving away their location and she couldn’t compromise her people like that.

“Any word on Poe?” Rey asked. Leia shook her head sadly.

“No, at this stage…we don’t know if he even made it out of the base alive,” She sighed. She was trying to stay strong, to be a leader but Rey could see the worry and weariness behind her eyes.

“What’s your plans for today then?” Leia asked, abruptly changing the subject.

 “I have some meditation that I need to do but… I’ve been reading in my old books…and there’s something I must go and do. I’ll be leaving tomorrow morning, I shouldn’t be gone too long…” Leia frowned.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you that, it’s a good thing, I think…please just trust me,”

Leia didn’t like the idea of Rey going off on her own, especially given the timing but she couldn’t really tell the girl what to do. She nodded and continued down the hall to their medical room, leaving Rey by herself to find a quiet room. The only place she could have any alone time was the storage rooms below the castle since the sleeping area was being shared with other Resistance members. She almost wished to be back on the medical cot, the hard bedroll giving her injured body almost no comfort.

She arrived in the small, dark room knowing that nobody would bother her, and she sat down cross-legged on the floor. When her meditation began, it wasn’t long before she felt a pair of familiar arms wrap around her from behind and she giggled as he peppered her neck with light kisses.

“Have you told Leia?” He asked softly.

“I did. I think she’s suspicious. I didn’t tell her why I was leaving or where I was going but I’m sure she’ll be questioning me when I come back,” He chuckled behind her, pulling her closer to his chest.

“So, tomorrow,”

“Tomorrow,”

“How will I find you?” She asked him. He grinned.

“Just start walking into the forest and you’ll find me,”

“Do you have to be so cryptic?” She smirked, tipping her head back. He quirked an eyebrow.

“I do,” his face turned serious, “how are your friends?” Rey paused, her face thoughtful.

“You’ve never asked about them before…” He shrugged.

“Well…you care about them and I care about you so…now I’m asking,” She smiled sadly.

“We lost a few on Echo base and…we still don’t know where Poe is or even if he made it out,”

Ben winced slightly. He hated to admit it to himself, but it had been easier to live with the decisions the First Order had been making when wasn’t faced with the direct consequences. The dressing over Rey’s injured shoulder was just the beginning. It was only strengthening his resolve about the changes he wanted to make.

Poe was a different and confusing subject altogether. They had been childhood friends, Poe being a few years older and infinitely more confident than Ben had been as a child, but he had been the first person Ben’s age who hadn’t cared about his parents. Poe hadn’t cared that Ben’s mother was Leia Organa or that his father was Han Solo. All Poe had cared about was that there was another boy his age to talk to, to hang out with and get into trouble with and in turn, Ben finally had found someone to bring him out of his shell and take his mind from his troubles.

Ben could remember the last time he had seen Poe, the day he was leaving. Poe hadn’t even tried to protest, and Ben still felt stinging resentment towards the pilot. His best friend had abandoned him when he had needed him most, another person who had given up on him.

To hear that he had joined the Resistance, fighting alongside his mother, acting like her own flesh and blood had driven Ben to new depths of anger, only fuelling his resentment. Snoke had been thrilled by the development, of course, knowing how much further it drove his student towards the darkness.

Now, well now he got to spend time with Rey. HIS Rey. In person, seeing her every day in person. Being able to speak to her, touch her in the flesh. It was more than Ben could take. He pushed down the sick feeling in his stomach thinking back to how he had appeared just as Poe was propositioning Rey in her room. What would have happened if he hadn’t been there? He couldn’t think of it.

But he was Rey’s friend and now, thanks to the First Order, he was missing, possibly dead. He hadn’t been told of any captives being taken aboard the Finalizer yet, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t happened. There was every possibility they had the man in custody and then what? How could he tell Rey that they had her friend strapped to an integration chair? She would expect him to go against the First Order, to free him, and if he did…well, he may as well invite Hux to start a coup there and then.

No, for now, he wouldn’t think about it. All he wanted to focus on was Rey and how she would be with him, in person, in less than 24 hours’ time.

00000

As soon as the door to his chambers closed Hux stalked to his private console at his desk, throwing himself down on the chair behind it. He pressed a few buttons on the datapad and his console flashed to life, the holo of the footage he had asked for glowing in front of him.

He leaned on his chin, his eyes studying the motion intently. There he saw Kylo Ren walking in with the girl, binders on her wrists, and he stood a little farther back from her, just far enough that he could stop her from doing anything hostile if he had wanted to. Nothing out of the ordinary so far, Hux thought, much to his chagrin.

Then the girl began speaking. Kylo turned his head to her, looking down at her face. She was getting closer to him, far too familiar for someone who considered the taller man an enemy. Hux frowned, the way he was looking at her was…unsettling.

The footage ended with her backing away from him and turning towards the door, Kylo placing his hand on the small of her back to instruct her forward. Hardly a gesture one would use with a prisoner.

Hux pressed a few buttons, the footage rewinding and beginning again. This time with sound.

“You don’t have to do this,” the girl was saying, “I feel the conflict in you. It’s tearing you apart. Ben…”

_Ben?_

“When we touched hands, I saw your future…”

Hux’s eyebrows raised, his eyes wide in shock. Touched hands?

“I saw something too,” He heard Kylo say, “and because of what I saw I know when the time comes you’ll be the one to turn…Rey…”

Hux paused the footage, highlighting and zooming in on Kylo Ren’s face. He smiled triumphantly. If the man’s voice, gentle and soft, unlike Hux, had ever heard before, hadn’t given it away, his eyes did. He was staring at her with longing, hungry.

There was no way in Hux’s mind that this was the first time they had been in contact since Starkiller base. No, they were far too familiar, too intimate. Plotting to murder Supreme Leader Snoke perhaps?

The girl was strong but her murdering a being so powerful AND his entire guard as well as knocking the great Kylo Ren unconscious was unfeasible and now Hux knew she hadn’t done it alone. She had help from a man who clearly loved her.

He continued his smug smile, watching the short footage over and over. There was no doubt in General Hux. He had Ren right where he wanted him. It was only a matter of time until the new Supreme Leader’s façade broke and when it did, Hux would be there waiting.

00000

Rey checked her bag one more time, making sure she had all her essentials with her. While she knew she wouldn’t have that long with Ben, 24 hours at the very most, she didn’t want to leave anything to chance. A change of clothes, some food and two communicators, one for her to keep and one for him.

She wondered how she was actually going to find him. He had only told her to wander into the forest and she’d find him. He wouldn’t dare bring a First Order ship with him, as soon as it hit the atmosphere the alarm would be sounded. No, he wasn’t that reckless.

She began walking through the forest, enjoying the very early morning sun as it glinted through the canopy of the trees. This was where they had first met, although under very different circumstances. She had feared him then, stalking towards her in his mask and long coat, his lightsaber glowing next to him as she fired her blaster.

So much had changed since that day. He wasn’t Kylo to her anymore, he was Ben Solo and this time he was coming to her. Nervous anticipation pooled in her stomach sending tingles through her body. They had touched through the bond and she wondered how different it would be in person.

Walking for what felt like hours, when Rey turned to look back from where she came, she noticed that Maz’s castle was gone. All she could see around her was trees, her senses alive with the force and the forest. Then she felt it.

A pulling sensation grabbed her attention to the north of where she stood, and she knew that was where she needed to go. A dark pulse in the balance of life that was buzzing all around her. She sucked in a breath, pushing forwards.

Finally, pushing her way through the thick trees and foliage, she saw what looked like a small domestic transport ship. It was older and completely unmarked, nestled among the trees, but that wasn’t what she focused on.

Standing in front of the open ramp of the ship was Ben Solo, looking directly at her. A smile broke on his face when he laid eyes on her, Rey’s stomach jumping in anticipation.

She picked up her pace, practically jogging to him, dropping her bag at her side as he instantly wrapped his arms around her, kissing her avidly.

The force felt like it was whipping around them, her head spinning with the sensation of him there with her, in person. Not a projection or a phantom but solid against her skin, his hands around her back and in her hair.

“Were you followed?” He asked, breathing hard as they broke away. She stared into his fathomless dark eyes.

“No, I left before anyone was awake,” He smiled.

“Good,” he replied. His voice was deeper in person than she remembered, without the force warping the senses around her. No echo, just the timbre of his voice reverberating from his chest. He took her hand, leading her inside the craft, eyeballing the surrounding forest for any other signs of life before closing the ramp behind them.

While he knew she was probably right and hadn’t been followed, Ben wasn’t about to take any chances.

The inside of the ship was far homelier than Rey had been anticipating. It had definitely been used as a traveling home for someone in its past life. There was a small living area in the main body of the craft with a table surrounded by seats and storage units, a holonet console and a bed, the latter catching Rey’s eye and causing a spike of adrenaline to run through her. She was certain he felt it too, giving her hand a squeeze as he leads her inside.

“Where did you get this ship from?” She asked, pulling out the communicators and leaving them on the table then moving to sit on the edge of the bed. Ben remained standing, undoing and pulling off his black tunic, leaving him in a simple black shirt. He shuffled uncomfortably.

“There’s a First Order shipping yard not too far from here in this system. I left my ship there and told them I was taking this craft on a test run to decide if I wanted to get it customized for my own use,”

“And they believed you?” Rey asked skeptically. Ben smirked.

“Well, I can be very persuasive,” he quipped, coming to sit next to her and pulling her back to lie with him, cradling her in his arms. While Rey did have

She sighed in contentment against him, both reveling in the feeling of having the other there in person, no worry of the bond suddenly closing and the other disappearing before their eyes. Shifting slightly to try and lift the pressure from her still recovering shoulder, Rey hissed in pain causing Ben to shift suddenly.

“Did I hurt you?” He questioned, sitting up. She shook her head.

“No, it’s just still a little sore,”

“Let me see,”

Ben had seen her completely naked before. They had been as intimate as any couple could be but suddenly, sitting with him in the flesh Rey felt shy around him. Tentatively, she turned her back to him and pulled her shirt off leaving her in nothing but her leggings and breast band, to allow him access to her dressed shoulder. From behind her, she heard him inhale sharply and at first, she assumed it was the sight of her wound that caused the reaction.

As their bond tingled between them, she soon realized that the sight of her naked skin in front of him was having a profound effect on his senses.

She shivered feeling his hands brush her skin, starting softly over her shoulder, tracing down to her hips. Rey’s eyes closed at the whisper of a sensation, wondering if he felt the same tension.

A sigh escaped her as his lips descended on her neck, her body almost slumping against his chest as she lost all strength at the sensation. She could already feel him growing hard against her and the anxiety turned to longing.

He groaned low in his throat, guttural and animalistic when her hands reached behind to palm his solid member through his trousers. She couldn’t suppress her encouraging moan when his hand pushed past her leggings, immediately finding her clit, moving in those circles that drove her into a frenzy.

“Can you feel what you do to me?” He said, his voice thick with lust and his breath hot against her ear. All Rey could manage was a groan in response, her mind too warped with the sensation of his hand moving against her to be able to form a coherent response.

She moaned in protest when his hand was suddenly removed but it was soon forgotten as he turned her, not too gently pushing her back onto the bed and pulling her until her hips sat at the edge. Her shoulder burned in protest, but she couldn’t focus on that. All she could focus on was her desire for the intense man kneeling before her.

He pulled at her leggings, removing them in one swift motion and placing himself between her thighs. She was propped up on her elbows looking down at him and he gazed at her, his eyes so dark with lust they were practically black.

Her legs on either side of his shoulders, he held her eyes when he swiped his tongue across her clit for the first time, her body jerking forward at the sensation. He smiled against her, continuing to swirl around the bundle of nerves.

“Gods, Ben!” She panted, her fists balling into the sheets of the bed.

It was unlike anything she had ever felt before and along with the closeness of their bond projecting just how her moans of pleasure were affecting him, she thought she would go mad.

Lazily, he dragged his hand along her thigh until it reached her heat and continuing his attention with his tongue, he carefully entered her with his fingers, growling against her at the sensation. She was so wet for him, so willing.

Hearing how ragged her breathing was and how her high-pitched whimpers had begun to turn to loud moans, he moved faster with his hand, feeling the beginnings of her orgasm flutter along his fingers. Oh yes, there was nothing he wanted more at that moment.

“You’re so perfect,” he panted, her hips rolling insistently at the loss of his mouth. He chuckled lightly to himself, returning to the task at hand and clamping his lips around her clit. He sucked lightly.

The sound she made was raw and real as she came apart around him, her walls practically pushing his fingers out she was so tight.

He kissed his way up her body from her inner tights, along her stomach, stopping to pull off her breast band, until he reached her face, kissing her soundly.

Ben had originally thought to make this last, that the first time he was with his Rey in the flesh would be a long, drawn-out affair until they were both boneless and spent with pleasure, but now she was here, really here with him, an almost feral instinct was taking over his body and he could see she felt the same way.

Her hands reach for him, insistently tugging at his trousers until they fell forgotten to the floor then her hands wrapped around him, drawing a moan from him. Rey smiled, her forgotten confidence restored. She was the one provoking this reaction, making him weak at the knees he was leaning back on. She moved her hand along him, pumping him at an agonizingly teasing pace.

“Maker Rey,” He groaned, his hooded eyes taking in the wicked gleam in her eyes. She knew full well what she was doing to him.

“What do you want Ben?” she teased. He sucked in a breath. For someone who was so inexperienced, she was a fast learner.

“You…” he grunted. Gods, was she going to make him come right there? He gasped when she suddenly leaned forward, her tongue darting out and licking the tip of him, swirling around the head.

“What do you want?” She asked again before taking him back into her mouth, this time pushing further down and taking more of him, sucking gently as she did. He felt dizzy with the sensation, her hot mouth driving him crazy.

His back arched as her hand joined in the task her mouth was currently on, the twin sensations almost pushing him over the edge. She had asked the question and maker was he going to give her an answer.

He grabbed her around her waist, pushing her back onto the bed, her naked chest heaving below him, and she stared at him with wide, possessive eyes.

“I want you, ALL of you,” He growled against her ear, his throbbing erection running along her hot, wet folds, “I want to make you mine!”

The feeling of having him so close but just out of reach made Rey roll her hips towards him. Ben smirked, moving himself back from her slightly, knowing she wasn’t as in control as she thought.

“What do you want Rey?” he teased. She scowled at him, trying to wrap her legs around his waist but he was too strong to be pulled.

“What do you WANT Rey?” he asked again near her ear, tugging at her earlobe with his teeth.

“Kriff, Ben!” She moaned. He chuckled, and she growled at him.

“Answer the question,” he commanded, his hand trailing down her body and finding her center, rolling her clit against the pads of his fingers.

“Please Ben, I need you inside me, please!” She moaned.

He kissed her triumphantly, pushing into her and groaning at the feeling of her slick, wet heat taking all of him. He moved slowly at first, his dark eyes locked with hers, savoring the feeling of having her really under him.

Ben thought he had known what she had felt like before, but the force was nothing in comparison to what they were feeling now, committing every moan, every twinge to his memory.

“Oh, Ben, yes…Maker, Yes, I love you!”

“I love you Rey, I love you so much,”

He began to set a faster pace, throwing one of her legs over his shoulder as he sat back on his knees, pushing into her harder, her cries echoing in the small ship.

“I’m going to…to…”

“Yes, Rey, let go…I want to feel you come around me,”

He could feel his own release building as she began to convulse around him, her back arching against the bed. He cried out, the aftershocks of her orgasm pulling the last of his release from him, her name on his lips like a prayer.

Spent, he collapsed against her, rolling to the side of her, her body immediately tucking against his and her lips pressing gentle kisses across his chest, both breathing hard as their heartbeats slowly returned to a normal rhythm.

While they both knew they would have to move from their hidden world, tucked away in an unknown ship in the thicket of the forest, for now, they were content to lie in each other’s arms. No Resistance, no First Order. Just Rey and Ben.

 


	9. Chapter 9

“What are those?”

“Hmm?”

“On the table,”

“What table?” Rey muttered sleepily, her head buried against Ben’s naked chest as they lay together in the bed. He laughed lightly looking down at her with an amused smile.

“How long has it been since you slept properly?” She shrugged against him, her eyes still closed.

“I can’t remember,” She sighed, slowly coming to life, “Let me think, Hoth was too cold even with the generators to sleep properly, the Falcon has been too crowded to get an actual bed…and all we have here are bedrolls on the floor, so it’s been awhile,”

He frowned, his arms tightening around her ever so slightly. She deserved more than running, more than sleeping on floors. Instinctually, he wanted to point out to her that if she had joined his side, accepted his hand, that she would never have to worry about where she slept again. She would never have to worry about her next meal. If she had only joined him he would have made sure she wanted for nothing ever again. He pushed the thoughts out of his mind.

“You still didn’t answer my question,” He said, changing the subject, “what’s on the table?”

“It’s a communicator, one for me and one for you,” She answered, “I thought it might be a more effective way of keeping in contact…for emergencies,”

“We have the bond,”

“You know as well as I do that it’s not always stable. We need to be able to reach each other. The practice has been helping but we’ve still got a way to go before it’s completely under control,” Ben nodded in agreement.

“I have been looking into it though. From what I can see it’s easier to close the bond off from the other person than it is to open one...” Rey stilled against him.

“Have you been trying…to close the bond?”

“No!” He pressed, holding her close against him, “Not at all! It came up in some reading I was doing, and I found it interesting, that’s all. Believe me, the last thing I want is to be closed off from you!”

He gently pushed her off his chest and rising from the bed, grabbing his trousers and pulling them on. Rey sat up, frowning lightly and gathering the sheets around her naked chest.

“I actually have something for you too,” He said, wandering towards the front of the small ship. He returned with his hands clasped behind his back, his face apprehensive.

“I know you want to fix Luke’s lightsaber and you still can, I’ll teach you how, but I noticed you still don’t have anything to put your crystal into…so…here,”

From behind his back, he reveled what looked like a lightsaber handle. It was slimmer than his design, the handle completely silver with two black grips but what excited Rey the most about the piece was that it was double ended.

In her excitement, she bounded from the bed, dragging the sheet with her body as a makeshift dress.

“Is that what I think it is?” She asked, her eyes wide.

“I’ve been watching the way you fight and while you do well with a traditional style, I think you might be more comfortable with this,”

“Can I take it?” he smiled down at her indulgently.

“Of course, it’s yours!” He said as she took the hilt from him, turning it over in her hands, inspecting every inch of it, “Although you may want to dress before you actually try it,”

Rey looked down at herself suddenly, the forgotten sheet around her body beginning to slip in her excitement. Quickly she handed the hilt back to Ben to grab her clothes.

He watched with an amused smile as she became a whirlwind of fabric, acting like a child eager to play with a new toy. He pulled on a shirt himself and she turned back to him grinning.

Ben instructed Rey to get the small, glowing crystal from her bag. She moved to hand it to him, but he shook his head.

“This is your lightsaber,” he said, “You should be the one to finish it,”

Carefully he instructed her on opening the saber and placing the crystal inside, explaining the inner workings of the device as he did and watching how her face lit up in curiosity.

Her affinity for technology was just another thing he discovered he loved about Rey. She was resourceful and intelligent, more impressive knowing that most of her knowledge was self-taught. While he had been given all the advantages of core world schools and the best education possible, Rey had done it all by herself.

After placing the crystal in the chamber and ensuring it was locked in place, Rey opened the craft door and bounded outside, Ben on her heels.

“I know you’re excited, but we need to be cautious,” He warned, “We’re far away from most camps around here but that doesn’t mean someone couldn’t fin…” Rey’s lips cut him off in a sudden, sweet kiss.

“Don’t be so tense,” She teased. He smiled shyly at her, running his hands through his hair.

“I’ve had years of practice at it,” he replied dryly.

She held the lightsaber out in front of her, glancing at him and he nodded at her in encouragement. Flicking the saber on, the weapon hummed to life in her hands, two light purple blades emerging from either side. Rey beamed staring down at it in awe, the lights reflecting in her hazel eyes.

“It’s perfect,” she gushed. She smiled proudly.

“Do you see what I mean now? About being in tune with the crystal? You’ll find this lightsaber much easier to use and train with. When you’re not using it, I’d recommend clipping it over your shoulder, it’ll only get in the way on your hip,”

Rey looked at the length of the center hilt and knew he was right, it was far longer than the traditional sword style, but it was just as beautiful.

“Can I assume you’ve never trained properly with a saber?” he asked. Rey shrugged bashfully. It was just another thing that she had wanted to learn from Luke. Ben nodded.

“We don’t have the luxury of time and it takes more than a few hours to teach all of it, years to master but…if you’d like…I can give you a summary?” Rey nodded, the grin on her face beginning to make her cheeks ache.

Ben pulled his own lightsaber from his hip, lighting the weapon.

“There are seven forms of combat,” he began, “All of them have their own uses. For example, form five, which is named ‘Shein’ was based around the principle of taking your defense and turning it into an offensive action. Form four, called Ataru, is very acrobatic and tended to be the most favored form of the Jedi order,”

“So…what should I use?” Rey asked, taking in the information. Ben thought for a beat.

“You’ve been using a staff all your life so form six would be a good starting point. I’ll show you some of the basic stances,”

Ben instructed Rey to stand in front of him and copy his stance, occasionally moving forward to correct her hand or foot placement. Methodically, she listened to him, moving through the steps he was showing her until they began to pick up speed. Every time he showed her a new pose, he would explain how it would fit into combat.

“Every step you take in these routines has a point,” he explained, “They aren’t just pretty poses,”

His own words to her echoed in his head, so long ago when they first fought in the forest of Starkiller Base when he had first sensed her raw power.

_You need a teacher…_

This was what he had wanted. Not to turn her to the dark or make her in his own image. He hadn’t wanted to change her, he had wanted her to see exactly what she was capable of. Now, in the waning afternoon sun of the peaceful forest, she was by his side and hanging on his every word. It was enough to make his heart burst in his chest.

“Good, you’re picking it up quickly,” He said, “Those books of yours are much too old to have enough information but the archives will have enough for you to continue training,” Rey smiled softly at him, wiping some sweat from her forehead with her sleeve.

“And I’ll have you?”

The way she was looking at him, with so much trust and love in her eyes was such a contrast to how she had looked at him before. There was no fear, no hatred. This was how it should be, he thought, she belonged at his side. He moved closer to her, reaching out to take her hand.

“You’ll always have me,” he said, leaning down to kiss her gently, “Rey, come with me…”

She closed her eyes at his words, his forehead against hers. Having him so close to her was intoxicating and it would have been so easy for her to say yes to his request. She hadn’t anticipated how difficult it was going to be to leave him again but when she thought of Leia, how much she had already lost, and Finn and Rose, she knew as much as she loved the man in front of her, she couldn’t just abandon them.

“I can’t…” She whispered.

“Why?”

“You know why…I can’t just abandon them,” She sighed, “And the First Order…”

“Is changing!” Ben insisted, pulling back to look into her eyes, “It’s a slow process. It can’t happen instantly, but I promise you, I’m doing my best and if you were there with me, you would see that!”

“Do you really think it would be so easy that I could just return with you? I’m an enemy of the First Order, Hux would have me executed on sight!” She exclaimed.

“I would NOT let that happen!” He promised, “I would never let anything happen to you. Please, just…trust me…”

She regarded him quietly. His face was less desperate than it had been back in Snoke’s throne room but for his eyes, his deep dark eyes shining at her, willing her to take her rightful place at his side. Rey had felt it, that pull towards him, the force willing them together but now it was so much more than that. Even without the force binding them, she was lost to him. She loved him too much, too deeply.

“Okay,” Ben’s eye widened.

“Okay…as in…” Rey nodded.

“I’ll come with you,”

Wordlessly, he captured her in a frantic kiss, his hands in her hair as their weapons were forgotten to the forest floor. She moaned against him, desperate need pooling in her and only grew when she felt him hardening against her. He pulled away from her, breathless and growling.

“Inside,”

As soon as they entered the ship, Rey found herself thrown against the bed, his body against her and his lips crashing down in another kiss that almost rivaled the ferocity of the previous. With a life all their own her hands pawed at his shirt, pulling it from his body as she felt air hit her own skin when he roughly pulled off her garments.

There was nothing slow or tender about their actions, he was powerful above her, the force whipping around them in a frenzy, darkness and lust taking over her thoughts. She made sure to project just how much she wanted him, the sensation making him gasp as her teeth nipped at his lip.

Naked before him, he stood to drink in the sight of her. Her tanned skin, flawless save for the occasional scar from her life on Jakku, practically shimmered with a sheen of sweat and flushed with passion. He stood back from her, committing the sight to his memory as he made short work of the last of his clothes, freeing his hardening length with a slight groan.

This was no time for slow foreplay, he wanted her. All of her. He wanted to claim her, to make her call his name until it echoed through the whole forest.

Swiftly he moved onto the bed, kneeling against his heels and he pulled her against him, her back flush against his chest, feeling her gasp as she slid slowly down his cock.

“Say it again…” He growled, “Say it…” his arm slid around her waist keeping her steady while his free hand fondled her breasts. She whimpered, her walls tightening around him as he twisted and pulled at her nipple.

Her legs were spread wide on either side of his strong thighs, his chest against her back. The way they were positioned with so much skin on skin contact, sweat against sweat, it made her dizzy as he thrust his hips against her, his teeth nipping at her neck.

“I’m coming with you, I’m yours,” she moaned, moving her hips in a circular motion against his thrusts.

“You belong with me, we belong together…”

He sat back slightly on his heels, just enough so he could watch her move on him, her head tilting back and her mouth hanging open in a silent gasp, opening her throat to him as he kissed and sucked with abandon.

“Gods Ben…” Rey choked out. She felt him everywhere, invading all her senses.

“You are so beautiful,” he said reverently, his own release building watching how her back arched with the sensations he was giving her.

“I’m…I’m so close…”

She didn’t need to tell him, he could feel her walls tightening around him, pressure building in her and her moans were getting so loud. His hand slid down from around her waist to her slick, wet heat, finding the small bundle of nerves he was looking for and circling it quickly with the pads of his fingers, carefully treading the line between gentle and rough.

She cried out, giving in to her orgasm as it crashed against her in waves, her thighs clamping around his and he returned his arm around her body, holding her tightly against his body, giving her something stable to lean against.

When she finally stilled against him, her breath coming in gulps while he pressed soft kisses to her temple, he began to move again, his cock still throbbing and hard inside her. He was close, the way she felt around him, it wouldn’t take long to send him over the edge.

He allowed himself to fall into his own pleasure, his hair messy and damp with exertion, feeling every drop of sweat slipping between their bodies as they moved. His thighs began to tremble, staggered moans reverberating from his throat.

“I’m coming again...Force, Ben!” Rey gasped, feeling his hand return to her clit, rubbing those circles that made her eyes practically roll back. She had never felt one orgasm chase another before.

“Rey, Rey, Rey…” he chanted her name like it was something holy, something sacred.

He could feel her pulse around him, the pressure driving him to new heights as he thrust his hips up wildly to her. She shattered around him again, her moans and the way she fluttered around him bringing him to his own end. He shouted her name, gripping her hips as he thrust through his own release.

Completely spent, he fell back onto the bed, pulling Rey with him as they panted, trying to catch their collective breath, both covered in sweat and flushed. He pulled her against him, her arms immediately wrapping around his body as if not prepared for any kind of separation from him.

He kissed her temple, reveling in their afterglow. She was his. She was coming with him. They would never have to be parted.

 

00000

Rey smiled lazily looking down at Ben while he slept, reaching out and brushing some stray hair from his face. She wasn’t sure how long they had been asleep for but from the way the moonlight fell through the viewer, she knew it was at least night time. Their whole day had flown by, but she couldn’t consider it wasted. No time with him was ever wasted in her eyes.

She was going to have to work out what to do now she had agreed to join him. She sighed to herself, she would have to tell Leia the truth for a start, it’s the only way the woman would understand. She wasn’t going to the First Order, she was going to Ben Solo. The man that she loved and with any luck, she would be the influence that would push him to make the changes he promised were beginning.

The Resistance had been so out of touch since they had begun running that she couldn’t remember the last time she had heard any actual news in the galaxy. She only ever heard what Leia told her she had heard or what Ben was telling her. She frowned lightly then noticed the console on the wall.

Surely it could pick up the holonet since the ship wasn’t that old.

Carefully, so she didn’t disturb Ben while he slept, she slid from the bed, shivering as the air hit her naked skin and pulling some clean clothes from her bag. Once she dressed she moved over to the console, pressing a few buttons. The holonet sprang to life in front of her, the blue light illuminating the room.

At first, she saw nothing particularly interesting. Business news, trade news from the core planets, a few fluff pieces on helping the outer rim but then some words caught her eye. First Order.

As she continued to read, her face fell until tears began to pool in her eyes. The peaceful planet, Mandalore, bombed from orbit by First Order ships then infiltrated by ground troops. Thousands upon thousands of innocent people dead, others captured and taken to other outpost planets and put to work. All only happening in the last few days.

Rey gripped her stomach, willing nausea that was rising to still. Thousands of people, dead, because of the man that lay sleeping behind her. The man who she had just agreed to leave with.

“Rey?” she heard his voice, still thick with sleep, call to her. She couldn’t turn to him, her shoulders trembling, “Rey, what’s wrong?” He asked, his tone more urgent and alert.

“Did you know about this?” she whispered, tears tracking down her cheeks. Ben pushed himself from the bed, grabbing his nearby trousers and pulling them on.

“Did I know about what? What’s happened?” he said, panicked. His eyes followed to where she was looking, and he felt his stomach drop. The pictures from Mandalore shining in blue on the screen.

“Did you know?” She asked again. He stilled, watching her warily like she was an animal waiting to be spooked.

“I did,” he replied honestly. There was no point in lying to her, not now.

Rey turned to face him, her tears shining in the blue light that illuminated the inside of the ship. Her horrified face cutting him to his core.

“How could you do it?”

“You know the holonet, they always make it out to be worse than it actually is…”

“Thousands of people Ben! Thousands murdered because they stood in the First Orders way…in YOUR way!” Ben shook his head.

“It’s not like that at all! I told you that I was changing things slowly, these things take time…If I had denied this then I may as well have been begging Hux to stage a coup!” Rey scoffed.

“You can try and justify it all you like but you are the ‘supreme leader’ so the buck stops with you!” she shouted, her voice rough with tears.

“I can’t…I thought I could, but I can’t…not if you won’t acknowledge what the First Order is actually doing…”

Ben froze, his heart thudding in his chest. She was rejecting him, again. Only hours previously they had been so close, so open with each other and now she was shutting him out. Ben scowled at her and she took an involuntary step back.

“No! You don’t get to just change your mind constantly!” He shouted, “I told you once to let go and even when it seems like you’re ready to accept what we are, what we have you’re still there…clinging on for dear life!”

“That’s not true…”

“It is, and you know it!” He spat, “You think you’re so righteous just because you’ve never given into the darkness, well I have news for you…you have. You can’t just decide to forgive someone and then take it away, forgiveness doesn’t work like that Rey!”

“And you don’t get to decide that you know what’s best for the galaxy, or me, just because you murdered your master to take his throne!”

“I did it for you!” he screamed, “Can’t you see that since that moment everything that I’ve been doing is for YOU!?”

Rey shook her head, closing her eyes tightly. She had wanted so much to believe that he would turn for her, but there was still a part of him that was Kylo Ren and now, she was seeing it.

“I wish that were true…”

She hastily wiped her eyes free of the blur of tears and with long steps moved to grab her things, throwing them into her bag. As she moved towards the door, Ben stepped forward, grabbing her arm.

“Rey, please don’t do this…” he begged, “Don’t leave…not again…” She fought against the sting of tears behind her eyes.

“I have to…you’re not…you’re not the man I thought you were,”

A coldness settled in Ben’s chest at her words. Hadn’t he shown her that he was trying to change? To change for her? Why couldn’t she understand that he couldn’t just run to the Resistance with open arms? If he did that the war would never be over. He dropped her arm, locking eyes with her in a steely gaze.

“Then go,” he said shortly, “forgive me for taking up so much of your time. I’ll be sure never to bother you again,”

He didn’t watch her as she left. Closing his eyes, he sat on the edge of the bed focusing all his mind on his anger, his hurt, how betrayed he felt.

He had promised that she would never see him again. He was going to make sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say in the tags this story gets a tad angsty...


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the Reylo pain train - ALL ABOARD! 
> 
> I promise it's worth it. I have a happy ending policy!

Ben had wanted to turn back the second he had left the planet. He had it planned out in his head. He would turn back and go to Maz’ place, find Rey and tell her that he was an idiot for the things he had said to her in anger, that she was right, but then her words rang in his head and his will hardened.

_You’re not the man I thought you were…_

He saved her life. He murdered his former master for her and she had rejected him for her beloved Resistance. When they finally found common ground, accepting and embracing their true feelings for each other, he thought he had finally made her understand where she should be, only for her to throw it back in his face once more and reject him again. Only this time, with the added sting of false hope having told him she would return with him.

Now, there was only a strange emptiness inside of him. Like a black hole in the force, vacant and vast. Where she once had been a constant vibration in the back of his mind, now he felt nothing. He felt strangely ill realizing that what he had told her was right. It was easier to close the bond off once he had become attuned to her than it was to connect to her.

He was stalking silently towards his Tie Silencer having landed the ship back to it origin shipyard when a stormtrooper ran up behind him.

“Supreme Leader, you forgot this,” the trooper said, handing him the small device.

Ben looked down at his hands blankly. The communicator she had given him for emergencies, she had told him. It wouldn’t do much good now but for some reason, he felt compelled to keep it. He nodded to the trooper, pocketing the small communicator before turning back towards his ship.

00000

“How is she?”

Finn sighed at Rose’s question. They hadn’t expected Rey to return from her mysterious trip so soon but barely a day having been away, she had returned to them in the middle of the night, falling to her knees at the door of the building, sobbing wilding and muttering incoherently. Eventually, she was sedated just to get her to calm down and sleep.

Now, weeks had passed and all she would do was lie on her bedroll or sit by herself outside, staring into nothing. She had barely spoken a word to anyone, even Leia and any question about where she had gone or what happened was met with fresh tears. Leia had eventually given up and told everyone to do the same, saying that Rey would speak to them when she was ready.

If she was ever ready.

“She’s a little better today, I think,” Finn answered, “She didn’t say much but I at least got her to come down for breakfast and eat something,”

“Poor Rey,” Rose sighed, “I’ve never seen her so heartbroken,”

Finn could only nod. Heartbroken was the best way to describe it. He hadn’t even seen her pick up her Jedi texts or train with the force which was unusual. Normally she trained every day, it was how she spent most of her time when she wasn’t with Leia.

“We just need to give her more time. Maybe the sooner we get off this planet the better,” he confirmed. Rose nodded.

“Where are we headed anyway,” she asked, “Leia seems to think we have a good contact for a planet willing to host the Resistance, maybe even join the fight!”

“She’s right, after what happened to Mandalore, Dantooine and Kashyyyk have both promised protection and the use of their fleets. The Resistance is about to grow pretty damn fast!” Finn said with a smile. It had been the first good news they had in months.

“That’s amazing! When do we leave?”

“Leia want’s us to be out of here as soon as possible,” Finn replied, “and honestly, I don’t blame her,”

Rose nodded in agreement. They needed a change of scenery, to actually feel like they were doing something useful instead of hiding, but the small woman couldn’t shake the worry out of her mind. Wherever they ended up, she hoped it brought a little more peace to Rey.

00000

Empty.

It was the only description Rey had when Leia had asked her how she was feeling that day. Since she had returned to the Resistance, Rey had spent the first few days completely isolating herself from everyone. Moving her bedroll to the hidden room in the basement, the last place she had bonded with him before they had met. It was a convenient place to hide away, dark and quiet.

She had spent her time crying herself out until she was so exhausted that her body forced her to sleep. Waking with painfully red eyes, her face puffy, she sat trying to meditate but all she could think of was him.

Why had she been so rash? She had jumped to an instant conclusion, not even pausing to listen to him. Really listen to him. Instead, she had treated him as if he had personally landed on the planet and swung his own blade. Now they were right back to where they were, on opposite sides.

Things were different now. He was gone, really, truly, gone. Their bond was closed harder than a durasteel shield door, no matter how she pressed to find it. It seemed to be gone and Rey wasn’t experienced enough in the force to try and bind it back together.

What was left was a strange emptiness inside of her. The force was still active, but she felt like part of it was missing, like a puzzle piece had been taken away. She wanted to see him, to apologize but knowing that he had closed their bond hurt her more than she knew how to express.

He had promised she would always have him, but she had driven him away with her harsh judgment and self-righteous thoughts. Her own self-loathing only added to her heartbreak.  

Eventually, Rey had pulled herself together just enough to start resuming day to day life. She listlessly moved through the motions, only answering people when she was spoken to directly. Anything she had to do until she could be alone again.

Rey now found herself sitting outside by the water next to Leia, staring out over the view.

“Are you ready to leave tomorrow?” Leia asked, trying to keep the topic as neutral as she could.

Of course, as soon as Rey had returned she had questioned what had happened, imploring the young woman to open to her and explain what had upset her so much but it was to no avail. Whatever Rey had gone through, she wasn’t willing to tell, not yet anyway.

Leia could recognize the signs of heartbreak when she saw it.

“I think so,” Rey replied, her voice still as flat as Leia expected, “I don’t have a lot to bring with me. Do you really think Dantooine will help us?”

“That’s what they’re saying. We still need to meet with their council but after Mandalore, I think a lot of these planets are realizing they can’t sit on the fence anymore. They need to fight,”

Rey winced at the name of the planet. The catalyst for her separation.

“We’ve held out for too long,” Leia continued, “It would take a miracle to get the First Order to agree to peace talks. We need strength, we need to show them that the galaxy WILL fight back,”

Rey could only nod at the woman, knowing she was probably right. It only made her feel worse knowing what she may have been able to influence.

“We also have a number of core planets who have sent encrypted messages via our networks,” Leia said with a smile, “And just when I thought hope in the galaxy was gone…”

“I’m happy for you,”

Leia regarded Rey curiously, her words striking her as odd.

“For us,” Leia replied, “You’re just as much a part of this as anyone else,” Rey sighed

“Sometimes I wish I wasn’t,” Rey uttered, “Life was far from perfect on Jakku but at least it was simple,” Leia placed her hand over Rey’s gently.

“Rey, please tell me what happened,” She requested, “You know I won’t judge,”

Rey knew that. Any time she had spoken to Leia about anything, the woman had never judged her. Even when she told her about how she had gone to Ben in the first place and why, Leia only ever listened with a kind of understanding that only a mother could have, but now was not the time. The pain was still too raw, too fresh to be pressed. Rey smiled at her thankfully.

“I know…but…I just can’t,” She said, the familiar sting coming back behind her eyes, “Not yet,” Leia nodded in understanding.

“Alright, when you’re ready, I’ll be here,” She said, standing up from their seat on the large rock, “I’m going to go and check our final preparations with Maz and leave you to it. Be sure you’re ready to leave at dawn,”

Rey nodded in return, a small smile on her face. If she was thankful for anything, it was that Leia Organa was with her. The woman had become her friend, her parent and her final connection to Ben all in one. She seemingly had endless patience and for that, Rey was especially glad.

It would be her last night on Takodana for some time and Rey hoped whatever sleep she would get that night would be dreamless.

00000

At the very least, being Supreme Leader of the First Order kept Ben busy. He spent his days throwing himself into his work, making sure that he was fully up to date with what the First Order was doing in the various systems they occupied.

Ben sat in his office, piling through reports from the other ships in the fleet. Nothing remotely interesting and it frustrated him. Training and exercise kept his mind active, it stopped his thoughts from straying. Progress reports and financial records bored him to tears and it caused his mind to wander often to the one place he didn’t want it to go.

He scolded himself for his lack of control. For someone who had been training in the force since his teens, he should have been better at being able to block out his emotions. He sighed for the umpteenth time. He should have done a lot of things differently.

His office door chimed, and he lazily waved his hand, commanding the door to open.

Having Ben around on a more engaged basis irritated General Hux greatly. When Ben was distracted with whatever he was doing, Hux had been free to essentially run the regime the way he saw fit, only sending orders to be signed off by Ben while knowing full well he wasn’t truly reading into them.

Hux walked inside a strange smile on his face.

“Supreme Leader,”

“What can I do for you, Hux?” Ben drawled, not bothering to look up from his reading.

General Hux barely contained his sneer at the lack of respect Ben was showing him.

“It’s been a number of weeks now,” he said, “I assume you’ve settled back in after your little…excursion…” Ben glanced up at the other man.

“I have,” he answered flatly, “What do you want?”

“Well, I thought you might find it interesting to know that we have a very special guest on board,” Hux quipped, the familiar smug smile that Ben hated so much plastered on his face.

Ben put down his data pad at the General’s words. Special guest? He didn’t like the sound of that at all and he gave Hux his full attention for it.

“Special guest? Who exactly?” Hux tried his best not to grin.

“A very high-ranking member of the Resistance has fallen into our lap,” Hux gloated, “And while I know it’s our usual protocol to interrogate…I thought you might want to be the one to deal with this…personally…”

He tried to fight against it, but his imagination immediately started to run away from him. It couldn’t possibly be Rey, could it? How could they have found her? Even though he knew by all accounts she was probably back on Takodana, Ben couldn’t get the image of her strapped to a First Order interrogation chair out of his mind, the idea that Hux had been anywhere near her making him feel sick to his stomach.

His face was a mask of indifference when he stood up from behind his desk.

“Very well, Hux, show me,”

They walked silently down the corridors of the Finalizer. Ben could feel tension running through his whole body as he followed Hux. There was something strange about the way the man was acting. At any other time, there would be snide comments, attempts to push forward his own agenda which would inevitably lead to a shouting match.

No, today, while Hux seemed smug and pleased with himself, which was nothing new to Ben, there was an odd sense of calm and he was sure he was walking into a trap. He just couldn’t determine what kind.

What if it was Rey? He knew the odds were slim, but he wouldn’t put anything past Armitage Hux and his lust for power. There was still a simmering rage towards how they had parted but above it all, he still loved her, and he vowed that if Hux had done anything to her he wouldn’t need the force to kill him, he would do it with his bare hands.

They reached the deck where prisoners of the First Order were held, Hux still refusing to speak. Hux stopped them at a door, punching in his keycode and the door slid open.

Ben sucked in a breath, trying his hardest to maintain his cold, supreme leader mask. It was moments like this that made him wish he still had his helmet. There, strapped to the interrogation chair, was a man Ben had expected never to see again.

Poe Dameron lay there, his hands and feet bound, his eyes open and staring into nothing. Realising the door had opened and he wasn’t alone, his head tilted towards them.

“Oh look, company,” He said sarcastically, “I must be special if I’m receiving such a special visit from the supreme leader himself,”

Ben took a few steps into the room, his eyes scanning the man. He didn’t seem to be injured, in fact, he hadn’t looked like he had been worked over at all. There was no bruising on his skin, no split lip or broken nose. Interrogation stormtroopers weren’t known for their delicacy.

Hux remained by the door, the smug smirk still on his face, watching Ben’s reaction closely. If he was truly loyal to the First Order, then he would have no issue with the pilot being put through the most rigorous of examinations until they got what they wanted from him.

Ben was silent, his face completely blank save for the minute twitch in his left eye. Control, he had to maintain control. He turned and walked back towards Hux.

“How long has he been here?” he asked tightly.

“We picked him up with the stragglers on Hoth,” Hux said simply, “He was the only surviving captive,” Ben inhaled deeply, maintaining the tentative hold on his emotions.

“And just when were you planning on telling me this?” Hux shrugged.

“You seemed to have other priorities. I didn’t feel the need to burden you…” Ben stepped closer to him and noticed, with satisfaction, that Hux shrunk back slightly.

_That’s right…remember how powerful I am…_

“This one is mine,” Ben growled, “I am the only one to question him. Is that understood?” Hux smiled cruelly.

“Perfec..urgh!”

Hux’s hands flew around his own throat, the familiar pressure on his windpipe cutting off the air to his lungs making his body burn. Ben sneered at him, standing his full considerable height.

“Make no mistake about this Hux,” Ben said, his voice low and dangerous, “If this order his disobeyed, the next time I won’t stop until I see the light leave your eyes…understand?”

Hux’s feet were barely on the ground when he nodded.

“Ye…yes, supreme leader…” He gasped, his lungs crying out for air as he landed back on the ground, Ben finally releasing his hold on him. He couldn’t help but smirk down at the ginger man, proud in his reminder that he was still a force to reckoned with.

“Leave us,” Ben commanded and Hux shuffled away wordlessly, still trying to bring his breathing back under control.

Ben walked back into the room, the door sliding closed and locking behind him with a wave of his hand. Poe watched him closely, his face guarded but he said nothing.

Poe Dameron. The last time Ben had been this close to him he had sunk into his mind, none too gently, ripping out the information he needed. His mission, his agenda had been so clear then. Not anymore.

His feelings towards the Resistance had always been conflicted. Even when he had first joined with Snoke, it was more about learning his power, embracing the dark side of the force, than it had ever been about politics. Over time, he came to embrace the core values of the First Order, but that didn’t mean he was happy about their methods.

_A means to an end…_

Snoke would tell him that. He was always told that people didn’t know what they wanted. A person could be smart, but people as a whole needed to be told what was best for them and THAT was what the First Order was doing. He had believed that once.

As time passed and their methods continued to be brutal, destroying whole systems, his belief begun to waver. Conflict was nothing new to him. The pull to the light and the pull towards what he had always been taught as a child; freedom above all else.

Then Rey had come crashing into his life, throwing it into a tailspin and making him question everything he had been taught to believe in. Slowly, Ben was starting to wonder if holding onto this power was worth anything if she wasn’t going to be by his side.

Dameron represented everything Ben could have been. If he had gone down another path if Snoke hadn’t poisoned his mind all his life. Perhaps he could have met Rey under different circumstances. Meeting her was the will of the force, he had no doubt about that.

He glared at the pilot. Instinct made him want to delve into the man's mind, pull out every shred of information piece by piece. Everything that he knew on the Resistance, Rey and their time together, all of it.

“Is this the part where you start messing around in my head again?” Poe asked flatly. Ben shot him an annoyed glance.

“No,” Poe quirked an eyebrow.

“Oh, I see you’re going back to more traditional tactics,” he quipped, “Better keep your gloves on, I’d hate to bruise those soft, force-wielding hands with my face…”

“Shut up,” Ben snapped, “I haven’t quite decided what I want to do with you yet,”

“Well, …at least this time I’ll get to look you in the eye…Ben,”

Ben scowled at Poe’s use of his name. Rey had been the only person in so long to use it to his face and it sounded strange coming from someone else.

“I’m…I’m not going to hurt you,” Ben drawled, “but Hux wanted me to see you for a reason,”

“If you’re not going to hurt me then what the kriff am I doing here?! I’ve been held here for gods knows how long but nobody has bothered to question me!” Poe shouted.

“Keep your voice down,” Ben hissed, “Hux suspects that my loyalty to the First Order is wavering…I’m not sure what he expects I’ll do but I suspect he’s using you to test me,”

“…why would he suspect that?” Poe asked, carefully regarding the man in front of him. It was the first time he had really looked at him properly in a long time. Something was different.

Ben shifted uncomfortably under the scrutiny of Poe’s gaze.

“Ben? Are you…are you planning to defect?” Poe asked in wonder. Ben shook his head sharply.

“No! but…”

“But what?” Ben sighed.

“But I don’t know if I believe in how the First Order operates anymore. I want to stop this war…but I can’t do it alone,”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm updating thick and fast. I love you guys <3

“You…wait, what?!”

Ben stared at Poe blankly.

“You heard me,” he said tightly, “I want to make changes, but things are…complicated,”

“How complicated can they be? You’re the supreme leader, what you say goes!” Poe scoffed.

“Extremely. I may be the supreme leader but Hux controls the army and he has the other Generals on his side, if I start making extreme changes quickly, I’m basically asking for a riot,” Ben ground out.

“But you just said you would kill him…to his face…” Ben rolled his eyes slightly.

“It wasn’t an empty threat…but not one I could carry out quickly,” He sighed, “If I kill Hux without due cause, it would have the same effect. This all needs to be done…very carefully,”

Poe took in his words quietly, observing the man in front of him. He was so different from the boy he had been friends with, but then, Poe was different too. War makes people hard, his Father had once told him, and he hoped to the maker that it wasn’t totally true. He didn’t want to be like those cynical veterans, still seeing things in black and white. He wanted to believe in hope.

But Ben had done things, things Poe could never have imagined him being capable of. Now, standing in front of him, he was reminded of the boy he used to be.

“You know this doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven you,” Poe snapped suddenly, “I haven’t forgotten what you did to me!” Ben stilled in his pacing, awkwardly casting his eyes to the floor.

“I…I know…” he stammered, “I’m not asking for your forgiveness. Not yet, but I am asking for your help,”

“How? I’m strapped to a chair…” Poe replied dryly.

“Hux is using you to test my loyalty. For now, I’ve ensured you’ll only be seen by me, we need to make it look like I’ve been interrogating you,”

“Should be easy…I’ll just remember the last time…”

“I’m not completely outnumbered,” Ben continued, ignoring Poe’s comment, “I’ll start by doing a little housekeeping. Moving my own people into positions of power, pulling military from certain systems…then I’ll deal with Hux,”

“Yeah? And how long is that going to take?” Poe demanded, “I can’t just sit here. I need to get back to the Resistance!”

“Do you even know where they are?” Ben shot back.

Poe opened his mouth to speak then promptly closed it again. Truthfully, he had no idea and the idea of stealing a ship and flying out blindly into the galaxy didn’t seem like the smartest move.

“My point exactly,” Ben confirmed, “If you want to get back to the Resistance, you’re going to have to help me. Hopefully, by the time you return, it’ll be for peace talks…”

“Peace talks?” Poe exclaimed, “Wow…there’s something I never thought I’d hear,” Ben shrugged.

“It’s the only way this war is going to end,” he explained simply, “It’s the only way I’m going to even begin to make amends for the things I’ve done,” Poe smiled.

“It’s a good start,”

Ben nodded mutely at him, taking in a deep breath. He could sense the turmoil in Poe, feeling that he didn’t fully trust him yet. It was to be expected. He hoped the fact he was standing in front of him not breaking into his mind was a start.

He himself was still wary of the pilot. He knew there was still lingering feelings for Rey and it threatened to cause unjustified anger to bubble to the surface, but he suppressed it. Poe didn’t know about their bond and he wasn’t about to bring it up now.

“Sit tight,” Ben said, “act like I’ve just finished questioning you. I’ll return soon,” Poe rolled his eyes, smirking at him.

“That’s fine. I’ll be here,” he said sarcastically, “It’s not like I have anywhere else to be,”

Ben left the room, closing and locking the doors behind him then turning to the guards on the door.

“You will erase the surveillance footage from this cell,” he commanded, waving his hand in front of them. The two nodded.

“We will erase the surveillance footage from this cell,”

00000

Dantooine was a simple planet made of blue, cloud spotted skies and green rolling hills. Warmer than Auch-To and far warmer than Hoth but with a light breeze that carried the scent of grass and flowers on the air.

Rey had fallen in love with the place since they had landed. It had been the first time she had genuinely smiled in what felt like forever. She could feel the buzz of the force around the earth, knowing the history that the planet held. It was comforting, it helped her maintain the delicate balance that she had been struggling to keep a grasp of on Takodana.

Since…

It had been almost two months since she had walked away from him. The raw opened wound had slowly become a dull ache that she lived with most days. Leia kept her busy, meeting delegates from settlements, discussing tactics and agreeing to trade for forces the Resistance could use.

The First Order had been quiet, they had noticed. After their attack on Mandalore, there had been no more hostile takeovers. There were still planets under First Order control but no reports of new invasions. It was like they were waiting. For what, the Resistance couldn’t fathom. They had assumed since they had them on the run they would continue to pursue.

Leia wasn’t about to complain. It gave them time to regroup, to rebuild. Rey, on the other hand, couldn’t help but hold onto that tiny glimmer of hope that it meant something else. Even if she never saw him again, the change in him would have been worth the pain.

Rey sat next to one of the lakes near the settlement they were residing in, watching the sun reflect off the surface of the water. She had just finished another set of meetings and her brain felt like it was fuzzy. She needed the time to not think about Resistance politics for a while. She had woken feeling out of sorts and her stomach still felt like it was doing flip-flops.

“Hey!” a bright voice called from next to her and she smiled.

Rose sat down next to her, a basket in her hand and a cheery smile on her face.

“Hello Rose,” Rey said, “You look happy,”

“It’s a beautiful day and I’ve got some time to relax,” the smaller woman replied, “Oh, and I bought some food. I have lots of reasons to smile today!”

Rey grinned at the girl. Rose’s happiness was always infectious. Rose pulled the basket towards them, sitting down next to Rey and looking over the water.

“I’d always wanted to come here,” Rose said wistfully, “The grass just looks like it goes on forever,”

“It does. It’s the kind of place I could never have imagined when I was living on Jakku,” Rey sighed, “I saw plenty of pictures, but it was hard to imagine what it was really like when I was surrounded by sand all day!”

Rose offered her the basket.

“Pastry? The woman in the bakery just made them fresh and they are SO good!” She gushed, taking one for herself and biting into the flaky confection.

Rey inhaled deeply, the rich, buttery, fruity scent invading her nostrils. They smelled delicious but suddenly her stomach lurched, churning at the smell. Rey sat up straighter, holding her midriff with one hand and the other flying over her mouth.

Yup, she thought, she was going to be sick.

Scrambling to the water, Rey fell forward on her hands and knees, her body heaving with the effort as what little she had eaten that day came back up into the water. Rose winced.

“Oh no!” she cried, “Rey, are you okay?” Rey gagged, grabbing a handful of freshwater and splashing it into her mouth. She nodded, sitting back to catch her breath.

“I…I think so…” Rose frowned.

“You’ve been sick for weeks now,” She added, “Maybe you should go and see the medic. It’s not like you to be put off your food,”

Rey knew the girl was right. Under normal circumstances, Rey was the first to pile her plate when it was possible, but recently her stomach had been having other ideas and even the idea of some of the foods she used to adore make her want to heave.

“I think you’re right,” she breathed, “I think I’ll go now, while I have time to spare,”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Rey shook her head and smile weakly.

“No, No,” she insisted, “Stay here and enjoy your free time. The view is too good to waste!”

On shaky legs, Rey walked back towards the settlement, spying the medical building and heading inside. It wasn’t as modern as the core worlds, but it was certainly better than they had been using on Hoth and especially Takodana. Rey was lead through to an exam room.

“What can I do for you?” a young female medic asked with a friendly smile.

“I’ve been feeling sick for a few weeks now and I think I need something for it,” Rey answered, her hand still clutching her turning stomach. The medic nodded.

“Alright, what kind of sick are we talking?” Rey looked thoughtful.

“I’ve not been keeping certain foods down,” she said, “and even the smell of some of it has been making me feel ill,”

“Alright, roll up your sleeve and we’ll take some blood,” the medic said, moving to the side of the room and preparing a fresh needle, “It’s possibly just a bug but we’ll do some tests just to be safe,”

Rey rolled up her sleeve and turned her arm, looking away and scrunching her nose at the nipping sensation as the needle entered her skin and was removed again just as quickly.

“There we go,” the woman said cheerily, “If you don’t mind waiting I’ll have the results back for you in just a few moments. I’ll just run it through the scanner,”

The women left the room leaving Rey sitting in silence on the cot. The last time she had laid in a bed like this it had been just after Hoth, when she had woken to find Ben standing over her, holding her hand, his eyes so full of love and concern. She exhaled a shaky breath.

It felt like every memory she had always come back to him.

Closing her eyes, she felt out with the force, trying in vain to push against their bond. Nothing. She wondered if he could feel her trying, like someone feeling another trying to push on the other side of a locked door. If he did and he wasn’t answering, then it only proved to further the point that he wanted nothing more to do with her.

Rey felt like the doctor had been gone for hours when the woman finally returned, the same cheery smile on her face.

“Well, I believe we’ve found the route of your sickness,” She announced. Rey smiled in relief.

Maybe she could just get another injection and be on her way. The doctor looked down at the datapad in her hand, flipping some of her long blonde hair from her face.

“You’re pregnant,”

The room began to spin, and Rey grabbed the edges of the bed to try and steady herself. The whole world felt like it was falling away at the doctor’s words. Pregnant. She was pregnant with Ben’s child. Ben who she would never see again.

It felt like the force was playing some cruel trick on her. It brought her love that she had never known only to have become something impossibly complicated.

“I...how far?” She choked out, although she already knew the answer. The smile on the doctors face faltered as the woman watched Rey’s reaction.

“I’d say you’re about eight or nine weeks along at this stage,” She said, “If this is…unexpected…now is the time you could do something about it,” she added carefully.

Rey’s eyes widened in shock at the implication of what the doctor was telling her.

No. No matter how complicated it was, she couldn’t do it. She wouldn’t. Her arms wrapped unconsciously around her stomach.

“No!” She cried, “I’m sorry…it’s just…a bit of a shock,” The doctor smiled.

“We can carry out a full scan in a few weeks’ time,” she said kindly, “until then I don’t want you to overdo it. You might feel a little sluggish from the rising hormones and if you feel unwell, I want you to rest,”

Rey nodded, listening to the woman but everything she was saying began to muffle. Numb with shock, she thanked the doctor and left the building, walking to wherever her feet would take her.

She needed to be alone. She needed time to process what was happening to her.

Rey continued to walk until she eventually reached a lone tree on the bank of the lake far from the settlement, hoping that nobody would come by. Slowly she sank against the tree, sliding to the ground, giving in to the tears she had been holding back.

Her arms wrapped around herself as she openly sobbed. How could she have been so stupid to allow this to happen? Being with him, she hadn’t even thought about the implant or protection. All that had gone through her mind was his intoxicating presence and how much she loved him.

Her sobs softened to light sniffles and she wiped her face on her sleeves. She was terrified. This wasn’t something she could hide forever, how would she explain it to Leia or Finn or anyone else? But despite her terror, her heart broken sorrow that her baby may never know its father, she smiled.

Part of him was with her, this tiny thing was a product of the force and of love and she was going to make sure that no matter what happened, their baby would want for nothing.

00000

General Hux straightened the collar of his tunic as he walked towards the interrogation room, opening the door with his override code.

Something didn’t seem right. He knew that much. Having tried to watch back the footage from before he had found it conspicuously absent.

Poe was still strapped to the table, so he knew Ben hadn’t tried to help him escape. No, he was still there, in the flesh. He took a few steps inside and peered at the man. He was unconscious from the looks of things but other than that, there wasn’t a mark on him. After a beat, he turned on his heel, the door closing behind him.

Ben wasn’t in his office as Hux had expected him to be, rather, he was standing on the bridge, his eyes looking out of the viewer towards the stars. Ben turned his head only slightly, feeling Hux’s tumultuous presence enter the bridge.

“I assumed you would have had business to attend to, Supreme Leader,” Hux said approaching him, being sure to keep his tone formal as he was aware of his surroundings, “I can keep command of the bridge,”

“I’m sure you can,” Ben said evenly, “but sometimes I believe it’s good to remind my staff that I am, in fact, still present,” The tone of Ben’s voice was not lost on Hux and he bristled slightly.

“I see. Were you able to retrieve anything interesting from our guest? There didn’t seem to be any signs you had even been in with him…” Ben continued his unfluctuating gaze at Hux.

“When one can use the force, there isn’t any need for anything so primitive as physical intimidation,” Ben replied, “At any rate, his mental walls have become far stronger than I anticipated. He’s clearly learned from our last interaction. It will take time, but he’s not going anywhere,”

“I look forward to seeing what you come up with,” Hux said nonchalantly. His choice of words wasn’t lost on Ben.

“I’m sure,” he said shortly, “I actually do have something I must attend to. You have the bridge, General Hux,”

“With pleasure, Supreme Leader,”

Ben didn’t look back as he walked to his office, but he could feel the other man’s eyes boring into his back. It was a dangerous game he was playing, he knew, but it was one he was willing to play if he could get his plan to work.

He made his way to his desk, pulling up his console and pressing a few buttons until he found the link he wanted.

“Supreme Leader, Sir, how may I assist you?” a portly man with a thick but neatly trimmed beard appeared on the holo in front of Ben.

“Commander Belfoy, I trust you received the transfer orders I sent you,” Ben asked. The other man smiled widely.

Ben had only been in contact with Commander Belfoy a handful of times while serving with the First Order and the man always struck him as oddly cheery in comparison to the other high-ranking officers.

“I did, sir!” he said, “Are you sure you want to carry out this order? You’ll be replacing an awful lot of captains at one time. Some of the people you’re moving won’t be happy going to planet outposts,” Ben nodded.

“I am, those that agree willingly will be rewarded handsomely and those that don’t…well, tell them they can come and explain their reservations to me…personally,”

Commander Belfoy nodded. He knew exactly what Ben meant when he said personally, knowing that anyone who was stupid enough to do so would most likely not making it out of Ben’s office on their own two feet.

“Yes sir!” He confirmed, “And you’re sure General Hux doesn’t need a copy of the report?” Ben shook his head.

“No, I’ll be reporting this to him myself. He doesn’t need anything transmitted to him,”

“Very good, Supreme Leader. Belfoy, out,”

Ben sat back in his chair in thought. The first steps of his plan were being put into action. Belfoy had never liked General Hux. He had been loyal to Hux’s father and the man had always found his friend’s sudden death coupled with Hux’s swift rise in the ranks to be all too suspicious. Many did.

Those that he had found were now on their way to commanding the various ships of the First Order fleet while the generals, captains and commanders he was replacing were all being sent to planet outposts on very ‘important’ tasks. Ben hoped that the significant increase in credits was enough to persuade the majority. Men like that were easy to motivate. Appeal to their greed and primal urges and they would follow them.

The others? Well, nobody would miss them.


	12. Chapter 12

It had been weeks since Rey had discovered the source of her sickness, the new life growing inside her and she had yet to tell anyone. She knew that she would have to start telling people soon. She was almost 15 weeks along and already starting to show, hiding the small bump under loose clothing was only going to work for so long.

She was bursting to tell someone. Terrified, she may have been, but an excitement had been creeping up on her. A family of her own, someone that she would love and protect unconditionally and another connection to both Ben and Leia.

Ben had once told her so long ago that she had no place in their story, but he was wrong, she knew that now. The force had brought them together and proof of what they shared was created. A living embodiment of their bond.

Sometimes when she was alone, Rey would sit and daydream, her hand absently stroking her stomach. Would it be a boy or a girl? Would it have his eyes, or maybe even his nose or ears? Black hair? There was no question that their child would be force sensitive. The bloodline of his family and Rey was too strong.

Needing some peace and quiet, Rey had decided one afternoon to hide in the Falcon, sitting in the cockpit with her feet up on the dash of the ship. She smiled dreamily, one hand resting on her stomach while the other reached out to pet the little porg who was chirping at her from the side of her dash.

“You’re a strange little thing,” she muttered, “But I can see why Chewie likes to keep you around,”

Suddenly she was startled by a familiar growling behind her. She jumped at the sound, then relaxed, seeing the wookie walk towards her.

“Chewie! You scared the hell out of me!” Rey laughed, and he chirruped an apology.

“It’s alright,” She sighed, “I’m glad to see you. I’ve missed you, you’re always here tinkering with the ship,” He growled his response, a melancholy sound that pulled at Rey’s heart.

“I know, I miss him too,” She agreed, reaching out and holding his hand as he sat down in the seat across from her.

She knew the main reason Chewbacca liked to stay with the Falcon was because of Han. The wookie had spent most of his life with the man, stayed by his side through thick and thin. She had only known him a short time and felt the pain of his death, she couldn’t imagine the sorrow that Chewbacca had felt.

In turn, Chewbacca had almost adopted her in a way. He looked after her as best he could. When she had told him of her plan to go to Ben, he hadn’t judged. He had listened, occasionally cautioning her but never telling her to stop. He had loved Ben just as much as Leia and Han, watching over him since the day he was born.

Tears began to well up in Rey’s eyes at the thought and he asked her what was wrong in the softest manner a wookie could.

“Chewie, I don’t even know where to begin…I’ve not been able to tell anyone, and I feel so lost,” she began to cry.

He reached out and placed a comforting furry hand on her shoulder, urging her to go on.

So, she did. She started at the beginning, from the moment she had left their ship and landed on the Supremacy. She told him of their bond and how it had remained even after Snoke had been destroyed, of their secret talks, how he had been at her bedside not once but twice.

Before she knew it, her words were tumbling out so fast she wasn’t sure if she was able to hold anything back. Chewbacca said nothing, only looking at her through his soft eyes and occasionally nodding, even when she told him of their secret meeting on Takodana and how she had left things.

“And now…Chewie, I’m pregnant,”

He sat silently, and Rey wondered if she had made a huge mistake in telling him. Until he opened his arms to her and she fell onto his lap, breaking down into great heaving sobs as every emotion she had tried to close away opened back up and mingled with a storm of unstable hormones. Rey had never felt so comforted feeling Chewbacca wrap his large furry arms around her small body, letting her cry against him.

“The worst part is that I would give anything to see him again,” She sobbed, “Even just to tell him that I’m sorry, that I was wrong. I’m so afraid…”

He chirruped and almost purred his reply, rubbing her back as her crying ebbed leaving light hiccups in their wake.

“I know,” She replied, “I know you won’t let anything happen to me,”

00000

“So, are you feeling any better today?” Leia asked Rey as they walked together along the lakeside, “The color seems to have come back to your cheeks,”

They continued to walk around Rey’s favorite place on Dantooine, Chewbacca walking a few paces behind them. Since Rey had told him everything, he had been around her almost constantly, bow in hand and growling at anything or anybody who had even looked at her the wrong way. It was comforting, in a way. He had told her he wouldn’t let anything happen to her or her baby, and on his life, he was determined to keep that promise.

 Things were going well for the Resistance. They had already secured forces from Dantooine and Kashyyyk, Chewbacca helping with translation and relations with his fellow Wookies. Now Leia was in talks with some very powerful diplomats on some of the core planets, but today she had other matters to deal with.

“Oh, yes, I think I’m feeling better,” Rey said quietly, “Food seems to be staying down well,”

“I see, so you’ll be ready to start taking on more duties again?” She asked.

Rey avoided the woman’s eyes. She had been under doctor’s orders to take things easy and the duties that Leia had in mind were the complete opposite.

“I suppose so…we could see how things go…” She said awkwardly. Leia stopped walking, turning to face the younger woman.

“Or we could stop all this bantha fodder and you could tell me how long you’ve known you’re pregnant for?”

Rey paled, her mouth opening and closing uselessly in surprise. So much for sitting Leia down and telling her tactfully.

“Who told you?” Rey gasped. The only people who knew for definite was her, the doctor and Chewbacca and she was certain it hadn’t been Chewie. Leia smiled gently.

“Honey, I’ve been around a long time and I’ve had one of my own,” She laughed, “I know how to spot ‘em. So, come on, tell me,” Rey sighed.

“I’ve known for a number of weeks now. I just didn’t know…how to tell you, how to tell anyone!” she said desperately, “Everyone in the Resistance looks at me like I’m some magical Jedi princess who’ll wave her hand at the First Order and bring them down in one swoop and now…now I’m a liability!”

“Rey, that’s just not true,” Leia said firmly.

“How am I supposed to bring a child into this? The galaxy is in pieces…this isn’t the right time…”

“Or it’s a perfect time,” Leia countered, “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s the children give people hope. They represent the future. I know it’s going to be hard, I know that you’re scared but you are so much stronger than you know,”

“Can I assume the father had something to do with what happened to you on Takodana?” Leia enquired. Rey nodded mutely, her eyes cast to the ground trying not to think of those painful days.

“Sweetheart, you should have told me as soon as you found out,” Leia sighed, “I could have helped you. You shouldn’t have been going through this alone!”

“I’m sorry…” Rey said, her voice thickening with tears, “I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me…I didn’t want to let anyone down…I…”

She was so tired of crying all the time. Leia pulled her into a hug and Rey relaxed against her. She suddenly felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

“Shh,” Leia soothed, “It’ll be alright. I’m here. Can I assume you know who the father is?” She asked, pulling back to look at Rey kindly. Rey nodded, sadness swimming in her eyes.

“But you don’t want to tell me?”

“Leia, I…I can’t…” Leia nodded.

“It’s okay. I understand I do,” She said, “I trust you also told our friend back there who hasn’t let you out of his sight?” Rey couldn’t help but laugh, nodding.

“I did,” She said, “He promised he wouldn’t let anything happen to me and I didn’t think he’d take it so literally,”

“You know, he was exactly the same with me when I was expecting Ben,” she reminisced, “Barely left my side and you know, it drove Han crazy!”

Rey joined Leia smiling at the memory. Leia was going to be a grandmother, even if she didn’t know it yet. The woman’s face turned somewhat serious.

“First thing’s first, have you been for your scan? Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” Rey shook her head.

“Not yet,” she answered awkwardly, “I’ve been meaning to go I just…I…”

“Didn’t want to go alone?” Leia offered, and Rey nodded. It was exactly the reason.

“You’re not alone,”

Her voice was kind but solid and clear. It reminded Rey so much of Ben and the words he had spoken to her when she had felt so lonely on Auch-To that she wanted to cry all over again. Leia gently held her face, wiping away stray tears with her thumbs.

“No more tears,” she commanded gently, “A baby is something to celebrate. New life and hope, and you won’t be doing this alone. I promise,”

“Thank you,” Rey whispered, her lip still trembling. Leia put her arm around Rey’s shoulder and began to walk again.

“In my opinion, there’s no time like the present. We had the rest of the day to ourselves…how about we go and get that scan?”

00000

She was with him again.

The location was always the same when he dreamt of her. She was next to him in his bed in his quarters on the Finalizer. He was wrapped in her arms, bathed in her warm light, allowing it to thaw every inch of the chill the darkness brought him.

He apologized to her, told her that he had been a fool for ever thinking that anything was more important than what they had together, and she would kiss him so firmly that his doubts would melt away.

Some nights she would be under him, moaning and writhing against his sheets as he filled her, but not tonight. Tonight, was just about being with her, settled in her arms and when Ben finally woke he did so with a jump, his breath coming in quick gulps and his arms empty. He growled, falling back against his pillow.

Methodically he went about washing and dressing, trying to push the memories of his dream from his mind as he did every morning. It was more than just physical. He missed her. How she brought out the side of him that he had thought long gone.

His only hope was that once he had brought the war to an end, he would see her again.

Ben made his way towards Poe’s prison. He had already informed Hux that he would be interrogating the prisoner again and he made a mental note to have the surveillance footage wiped when he was finished talking with Poe.

He had to be careful. There was only so many times he would be able to do that without Hux noticing.

“Good morning sunshine,” Poe drawled as he entered.

Ben leveled him with an exasperated glance. For all Poe was yet to fully trust that he would keep his word, he still didn’t hold back on the wit.

“Anything to tell me?”

“It’s done,” Ben confirmed, “The new command staff will be in place by the end of the day,”

“And you’re sure they’re definitely loyal to you and not to Hux?” Poe asked. Ben ran his hand through his hair.

“As much as they can be,” Ben answered, “They hate him more than me. The enemy of my enemy and all that…”

“Comforting…” Poe quipped, “Now what?”

“Now I start pulling our forces out,” Ben confirmed, “It’ll be a slow process but…once we begin, there won’t be any going back,” Poe looked thoughtful.

“You won’t want to hear this…but have you considered contacting Leia?”

Ben froze. It had been a fleeting thought that he had rejected. He wasn’t ready to face her, not yet, not after…

“No,”

“But,”

“I said No, Dameron,” Poe sighed.

“Look…I get it…or maybe I don’t but you know to end this war you’ll need to face her eventually,” he pressed.

“I do know but…it’s too soon,” Ben excused, “Until I know that the other Generals of the order will agree to a cease-fire, there isn’t any point,”

Poe frowned but he knew Ben was correct. There wasn’t any point in exposing themselves until the time was right.

“So…have I to just hang out here?”

“What do you suggest, moving you to guest quarters?” Ben scoffed, “That wouldn’t look suspicious at all…”

“I’m sorry, I’m sure it’s difficult for you in your luxury living space,” Poe spat, “But I get it. Totally. I’m fine being taken to the bathroom every few hours and being fed rations…”

“I am doing everything I can to make sure you’re not being beaten to a pulp every day!” Ben growled, “You agreed to help me. I didn’t say it would be easy!” Poe smirked.

“Who’d have thought, after all this time…we’d be like this…”

“Like what?”

“You know…talking…like people,” Poe replied, “Well, as close to people as we can be right now,”

“Huh, right…” Poe sighed.

“We were friends once,” He said, “Or have you forgotten that?”

“Oh, I remember just fine,” Ben said tersely, “I remember you doing nothing, saying nothing when I was being taken away,” Poe scowled.

“We were kids!” He said, his voice raised just below a shout, “What could I do?”

“Anything!” Ben shouted, “Tell them to stop, protest, I don’t know…but you stood by and watched and did nothing!” Poe sighed.

“I wanted to,” he said quietly, “You were my best friend, but I was nobody. The son of a soldier, not a politician…I’m sorry, for what it’s worth…and I know it’s not the best circumstances, in fact, it’s damn weird but I’m here now…we can still make things right,”

Ben was quiet. The last thing he had ever expected was an apology from the pilot. He was right, they had been, for all intents and purposes, best friends. Thrown together by circumstances outside of their control as children and now, thrown together again by a different set. He nodded.

“Do you really think they’ll accept me back? After all the things I’ve done?” he asked quietly. Poe nodded.

“I think everyone deserves a second chance,”

00000

Rey was shaking as she entered the exam room of the medical center, Leia’s hand firmly grasping hers, while Chewbacca walked behind them. The same smiling doctor met them at the door of the exam room.

“I’m sorry…um, sir? But you’ll have to wait outside,”

Chewbacca growled a grumpy response and Rey smiled at him.

“It won’t be long, I promise!”

They entered the room, Rey hopping up onto the cot and lying back as she was instructed. The doctor pulled a clear band from the bed over her growing midsection and moved over to a machine next to her, powering up the holo.

“How has your sickness been?” Rey screwed up her face.

“Fairly horrible but it seems to be starting to ease up a little,” The doctor nodded.

“That’s to be expected,” she said “Alright, this shouldn’t take long. Let’s have a look,”

The holo flickered to life and Rey watched in awe at the movement on the screen. In front of them hovered a scan of what was happening within her. She saw her baby, arms, legs and all in front of her. She gasped at the image as it bobbed up and down, wriggling with life.

“Congratulations, everything looks perfect!” the doctor announced, “It looks like you’re having a healthy, baby girl,”

“A girl?” Rey breathed.

She was having a girl. A bubble of hysterical laughter escaped her along with some happy tears at the thought. Leia squeezed her hand, shedding a few tears of her own.

Now he was there, in front of her, looking like an actual tiny human, it suddenly all felt so real. She was going to be a mother to a little girl.

Silently, Rey wondered if she would grow up with her father’s features.

00000

“I have some news,”

Maker this was going to be harder than she had expected. Rey stood in front of Finn and Rose, both their eyes staring up at her expectantly. Chewbacca stood loyally by her side.

Leia had turned out to be remarkably simple given that she had already guessed.

Knowing that she was having a girl, that she was almost into her second trimester meant that she couldn’t keep hiding it any longer. Rey sucked in a deep breath.

“I’m just going to have to come out and say it…I’m pregnant!”

The faces of her friends couldn’t have been more opposed. Rose’s face lit up in girlish glee, her eyes wide and her smile even wider while Finn looked as though someone had dumped a bucket of iced water onto his head.

“Gods, really?!” Rose gushed, leaping to her feet, “Rey, that’s amazing! Congratulations!”

“Umm…wait, what? How? When?” Finn stammered his face a mixture of confusion and terror. Rose rolled her eyes.

“I know you were in the stormtrooper programme but I’m pretty sure they taught you a little about how babies are made, Finn,” Rose said sarcastically. Rey stood tense watching her friend.

“I’m about 15 weeks along,” Rey said quietly, still watching him. He nodded absently, trying to process the information.

“So…Takodana?” She nodded, “Who is the father?”

“It doesn’t matter…”

“Is he Resistance?” He pressed. Rey set her jaw in annoyance, wishing he would drop the subject.

“I said it doesn’t matter now…” Finn squirmed awkwardly.

“Is…is he dead?”

Rey wanted to answer yes but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. It would be so easy to tell that lie, knowing that it would stop all further questions from her friend but it was too big, if the truth came out eventually, Finn would never forgive her.

“No, but I’m never going to see him again, so it doesn’t matter,” Finn leaped to his feet.

“It does matter! Did this guy hurt you?” Finn shouted, “Tell me who it is, I’ll kill him!”

He moved to grab Rey by her shoulders but found himself suddenly knocked to his back, looking up at Chewbacca who roared down at him.

“Finn, calm down,” Rose said, “Rey’s right, it doesn’t matter! I think it’s amazing,” Rey grinned at Rose, thankful for her enthusiastic support but she still felt disappointment at Finn’s reaction.

“Okay…okay, you can let me up,” He mumbled to the wookie who stepped back to allow Finn to his feet.

He dusted himself off, staring at Rey warily.

“But you’re alright?” Rey nodded.

“I am. I have Chewie and Leia and you two,” She said, “I’m learning as I go along, and I know it sounds crazy but…this was meant to happen, you just need to trust me…please?”

Finn sighed, pulling her into a hug so she couldn’t see the concerned frown on his face.

Something didn’t feel right about what she was telling him. There was no doubt she was expecting but why wouldn’t she tell him the truth about how it happened? He sighed against her.

“Alright Rey…alright,”

She pulled away from him, pulling out a small disc from her pocket and pressing a button on the side. The miniature holo popped to life, the vision of her daughter floating in front of them.

“Is that…is that it?” Rose asked, her eyes wide and warm. Rey smiled and nodded.

“That’s her,”

“Her? It’s a girl!” Rose exclaimed, “That’s amazing! We’re going to teach her so much! She’s going to learn how to fly, how to build machines…everything!”

Rey’s heart felt like it was fit to burst hearing her friend’s enthusiasm. She had been so wrapped up in her own fears that she hadn’t really had time to think about all the good things she was bringing into the world. A little girl she was going to raise to be loving and compassionate towards others but hard as nails all in one.

As Rose continued to talk about her daughter and all the things she would help with, Rey did her best to ignore the skeptical eyes of Finn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check the tags guys. Finn is going to get very OOC!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more update? Cause I love ya'll?
> 
> Oh, go on then!

“Just what in the hell do you think you’re playing at?!”

Ben turned sharply from where he stood watching out of the view finder in his office. His mind had been wandering, calculating his next moves until an obnoxious voice bellowing pulled his focus. He spun around to find Hux storming into his office, his face red and blotchy in his anger.

“I beg your pardon?” Ben said calmly which only served to incense Hux further.

“You have replaced every command staff in the fleet and didn’t even think it was prudent to inform me!” Ben nodded.

“You’re right, I didn’t think it was important that you were informed right away. I knew you would find out eventually. Now you know. Is there anything else?”

Hux balked, stuttering to find a response to Ben’s very frank response.

“I am the leader of this fleet…”

“And I am the Supreme Leader of the entire First Order, so I think you’ll find I outrank you by quite a margin,” Ben snarled his voice low. Hux’s back straightened ever so slightly at the silent challenge.

 “What exactly are you playing at Ren?” Hux bit out, “This isn’t a game…”

“Then why did you make it one?”

Hux froze at his words.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” He drawled. Ben stared him down, his face cold.

“I’m sure you don’t,” he replied tightly, “Anything else?”

Hux growled under his breath, turning and stalking from the room and leaving Ben along to exhale the shaky breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. Quickly he moved to pick up his coat, swinging it over his shoulder.

With a clatter against the dark, polished floor, something fell from his pocket and he turned towards the sound.

Lying on the floor was the communicator Rey had given him. Like a talisman, he had been carrying it in his pocket ever since. Slowly, he bent down to pick it up, regarding it carefully.

He wondered if Rey still held onto its partner. So many times, he had considered using it but for the same reason he hadn’t opened their bond again, he had thought against the action. What could he say to her? That he was sorry…No, not after the way they had left things. Just saying he was sorry was too small an action. He had to prove it to her.

Pocketing the device, he made his way to Poe’s cell.

“We really need to stop meeting like this,”

“And you need to learn when your sense of humor isn’t required,” Ben replied dryly.

“I can see you’re in as good a mood as ever…”

“We need to move things up,” Ben cut him off, “Hux knows,” Poe frowned.

“Knows what exactly?” Poe asked, watching Ben pace back and forth in front of him.

“He knows that I’ve changed his staff and he knows that I’m onto him. It’s only a matter of time before he becomes a larger problem. I’m sure he’s uncovered more than he’s letting on…”

“What about the rest of the plan?”

“Military operations have already stopped in 2 systems and it’s only a matter of time until words get to him of that,” Ben said.

He waved his hand and the restraints around Poe’s arms and legs released. The smaller man carefully hopping off the chair and stretching.

“Thank god, I’ve had an itch on my back for hours…” Poe quipped.

“Not the time,” Ben snapped. Poe held his hands up.

“Alright, alright, calm down. What now?”

Ben raked his hands through his hair in thought. Things were moving so much faster than he had expected.

“I’m going to move you to a black site on the ship,” He said, “Hux won’t know where to find you and I’ll make sure he doesn’t find out,”

“Is that it? Really, that’s your plan…”

“That’s what I’ve got for now! We need to get Hux off of this ship before I can gather the other Generals and order a cease-fire,” Poe quirked an eyebrow.

“That easy? You’ll order a cease-fire just like that?” He said snapping his fingers in emphasis. Ben sighed.

“I’ll have to send word to Coruscant, to the last of the new Republic before an official ceasefire can be agreed,”

“And the Resistance,”

Ben exhaled a shaky breath. He knew it was true. While the last surviving delegates of the New Republic resided on Coruscant, the true opposing power was the Resistance and no peace could be made until they were contacted, and terms agreed to.

Only then could they start working together to rebuild a new galactic government. One that would work for both ideologies and all people.

He took a deep breath, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the communicator.

“Take this,” he said reluctantly, “If it works, you can contact the Resistance,”

Poe eyeballed the communicator warily.

“Where do you get that?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Ben said shortly, turning to leave but Poe grabbed his arm.

“Hey, trust works both ways, buddy,” He stressed, “So if you want me to really believe what you’re telling me…I’m going to need to know how you have a Resistance communicator in your pocket,”

They stared at each other, the silence hanging heavily between them in the room. Poe was right, Ben knew, if he wanted the man to trust him, he was going to have to tell him the truth. All of it.

“I’m in love with Rey,”

Poe blinked at him. Once, twice, three times, the taller man’s words tumbling around his head. His brows knitted together, his mouth hanging agape.

“You’re...what?”

Ben rolled his eyes in exasperation. Clearly, he was going to have to go into more detail.

“Rey and I…bonded through the force. We could feel each other, see each other, talk…and over time our feelings grew. I tried to fight it, but she came to me on the Supremacy and I just…I couldn’t let anything happen to her,” he said quietly, his eyes awkwardly set on the floor, avoiding the pilots directly gaze.

“But what about Crait?”

“I was angry, rejected…I tried to embrace every dark feeling I could but then I saw her leaving and I knew I couldn’t do it,” Poe raised an eyebrow.

“You know you tried to shoot her ship down right? With her on board?” Ben growled under his breath. He wasn’t helping.

“I am aware,” he said tersely, “We thought the bond was gone but…well, we continued to appear to each other. It wasn’t exactly on friendly terms at first but…anyway, I’ll spare you the details but we met in person…”

“And?” Poe said impatiently, hanging on Ben’s words and Ben shot him an annoyed look.

“And…things didn’t end well. For all we loved…love…each other, there were a lot of things we didn’t agree on,” Poe smirked.

“Like you being the Supreme Leader of the First Order?”

“Will you let me finish?!” Ben snapped, “But yes, exactly that but I was only trying to make her see that if I just abandoned this post that nothing would change. Hux would only take over and this war would continue!”

Poe nodded in agreement. Ben was right if anything was going to change it had to start from the top and there was no way a man like Hux, the man who had ordered the destruction of the Hosnian system in cold blood, would allow for anything other than total domination.

“We fought and…she left,” Ben finished, “We haven’t spoken since,”

“What about this…bond thing you said you have?” Poe asked.

Ben was suddenly very interested in his gloves, fidgeting with his hands.

“I…I closed it. I haven’t tried to open it since,” Poe put his face in his hands in frustration, wiping down his cheeks.

“You’re both idiots? That’s what you’re telling me?” he asked rhetorically, “You both haven’t spoken since because of some lovers spat?!” Ben scowled.

“Don’t talk about what you don’t know!” he growled, and Poe waved his hand.

“Yeah, I’m sure there’s more to it but this is more important right now!” Poe cried, “Do you know if the other part of this communicator still works?”

Ben shrugged helplessly. He didn’t even know if Rey still had the counterpart.

“I’m not sure if she even kept it…” Poe sighed.

“It’s worth a shot,”

Poe eyed Ben and smiled lightly.

“This is all for her isn’t it, you still love her?”

Ben nodded, his face completely open to his former friend. The cat was out of the bag, there was no point in denying anything anymore.

“I do,”

Poe chuckled.

“I always knew that girl would bring the end of this war…albeit not quite the way I imagined it. It’s funny, she said she had someone else...I would have bet BB-8 that it was anyone else. Man, I feel like a jerk…” he muttered the final part of his sentence.

Ben smirked at the pilot.

“You should…I was there…”

Poe’s brows knitted in confusion as Ben turned to leave the room and Poe watched the man’s back.

“What do you mean you were there? Ben? BEN?”

00000

The tube was lowered over Rey’s swollen belly as she laid back on the medical cot, her fingers fidgeting awkwardly as she waited for the doctor to begin her scan.

Things had been feeling strange. All of the books she had read were telling her something different to what she was experiencing for how far along she was, and Leia had advised that going back to the medical center was probably a good idea.

She glanced at the door where Chewbacca was standing ever vigilant, wishing that she had someone with her. Leia was in a briefing, Rose was busy and Finn…well, Finn hadn’t exactly been enthusiastic about her falling pregnant in the first place.

Her mind started to wander to Ben once more. Try as she might, she wondered how different things could have been if he had been there with her. To hold her hand, to hold her at night and stroke her back when their daughter kept her awake.

“Ready?”

The doctor’s voice brought Rey back to the present and she smiled at the woman, nodding at her to start the scan.

The holo flickered to life and she was met with the image of their daughter, growing strong and kicking her tiny legs. Rey winced lightly at the feeling. She had been doing it more and more often and it was starting to make Rey ache.

“She’s a little performer this one!” the doctor smiled, “She’s very active,”

“You don’t need to tell me,” Rey mumbled, rubbing her stomach.

“You’re right, you are looking further along than expected,” the doctor wondered, frowning lightly.

Concern shadowed Rey’s face.

“Is that bad?” the doctor shook her head.

“No, I don’t believe so, everything looks healthy…brilliantly so. You’ve got a very strong baby girl growing in there,” Rey exhaled in relief.

“Do you know why?”

“If I was to hazard a guess, I would say it may have something to do with your use of the force. Is the father also force sensitive? Does it run in the family?” Rey smirked to herself.

“You could say that…” The doctor nodded in thought.

“There isn’t much in the archives about this but from what little I found, I suspect that may be the reason. At this rate, she’s developing in days what should take a week…” Rey paled.

“What does that mean?”

“It means you may be bringing her into the world a little sooner than we expected,” She explained, “but not to worry, you still have time, “

Rey thanked the doctor, finishing her appointment with a few vitamin shots then joining Chewbacca outside.

She absently rubbed her stomach as they walked in the late afternoon sun, the breezing cooling her flushed skin.

It was typical that the force would accelerate things. The mysterious entity wasn’t exactly known for patience when it wanted something to happen, and seemingly, it wanted her daughter to be born as soon as possible.

Anxiety spiked in her chest. Leia knew she was expecting but she still didn’t know who the father was.

She sat down on the bank of the lake next to Chewbacca.

“Chewie, do you think I should tell him?” She asked softly. Chewbacca chirruped his response and Rey sighed.

“I know…if I were him I would want to know too,” she said, “I should have told him as soon as I’d found out but…he’s closed off to me…I don’t even know how I could…he’s going to be so angry,”

Chewbacca growled, and Rey gave him a tentative smile.

“Do you really think he still loves me?” The wookie nodded earnestly at her.

Steely determination washed over her, her eyes brightening.

“Alright, I’m going to do it…I’m going to tell Leia the truth. All of it!” she promised, pushing herself to her feet as quickly as she could with the extra weight on her small frame and Chewbacca held her arm, gently assisting her up. He purred lightly.

“I’m sure, it’s the right thing to do!” She said, “If anyone can help me get in contact with him, it’s her. I have to go!”

Rey walked as quickly as she could manage to her room, closing the door tightly behind her. Immediately she went to the floor, crossing her legs under her and closing her eyes.

Her heart beat erratically. Trying to steady her breathing she focused on the force around her. She could feel their daughter pulsing happily against her, growing stronger with every passing moment. Somewhere in the buzz, she felt Leia’s calm presence and it only bolstered her resolve.

_Come on Ben…please be there…_

She continued to push her presence out past the planet, reaching as far as she could until she felt it. A chilling presence against her warmth that she would recognize anywhere and her heart leaped, reaching for him until she hit a wall.

She had reached for him before, what felt like so long ago now, and she had tried pushing against their bond finding that it was closed off tightly. Now, she was practically throwing herself against it, hammering against it as hard as she possibly could.

Rey began to shudder with the effort, her skin sheening with sweat. He was still closed off to her.

_Please, Ben…_

A sharp kick inside her forced her out of her meditative state, her hand flying to the aching spot on her rounded stomach. Rey grit her teeth.

“No! Not this time you stubborn e-chu-ta!” she growled, “You are going to know your daughter!”

Rey’s determination faltered as she stood outside Leia’s room, her hand hovering in a knock before she finally took a deep breath and rapped her knuckles against the door. Upon hearing Leia’s voice telling her to enter, she pushed the door open.

“Rey! How are you feeling?” Leia asked with a bright smile which faded when she saw the look of trepidation on Rey’s face, “What’s wrong?”

“I…I have something that I want to tell you,” she began, “and it’s not easy, really not easy,”

Leia gestured for her to sit down on the sofa and she did, Leia coming to sit next to her.

“You asked me who the father was…” Rey said quietly, “And I think I’m ready to tell you, but I need to explain a few things first,” Leia nodded carefully, watching Rey with curious eyes.

“Everything I told you about what happened on the Supremacy with Ben…it was all true, but I left out something important,” Leia’s silence pressed Rey forward.

_Now or never…_

“Ben and I formed a kind of bond…through the force,” she said carefully, “We could see each other, speak to each other, even touch…” Leia gasped.

“How? When did this start?”

“It first started when I was with Luke on Auch-To. That’s why I went to him! We had grown closer and I could feel the conflict in him and I thought…well, it doesn’t matter what I thought. After Crait, we thought the bond had ended but…it persisted, and we stayed in contact,”

Realisation fell over Leia’s face.

“Is that who you were talking to when you were alone? You were speaking with Ben?!” Rey nodded, blush rising on her face. Leia smirked slightly, “Well it’s better than thinking you were losing your mind…go on,”

“He tried to warn me about the attack on Hoth but he was too late. He was so distraught that I had been injured he insisted on meeting in person…so we did…” Rey’s words faltered, her words faltering as her eyes filled with tears.

“…Takodana,” Leia injected sadly, and all Rey could do was nod silently, tears slipping down her cheeks.

“Ben is the father,” Leia breathed, tears pooling in her eyes. She grabbed Rey’s hand’s squeezing them tightly.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you…I didn’t know how…I was so scared…” Leia nodded.

“I…I know, it’s, well, it’s a lot to take in,” she sighed.

Rey dared to look at the woman’s face, terrified that she would see the disgust in her eyes but when she looked up she only saw motherly love shining there.

“I know what he’s done, Leia,” Rey said, “but I love him. It doesn’t matter what happened between us now,” Her hand fell over her stomach and Leia gave her a watery smile.

“If anyone could bring him back to us, it was you,” Her hand covered Rey’s own, “He’s going to be a father…does he even know?” Rey shook her head.

“Rey, you have to tell him,” She said gently, “He deserves to know,”

“I know, truly, I know…He closed himself off to me. How we left things, we were both so stubborn and angry. I tried to reach him but I’m not strong enough, I can’t get through,” she sobbed, fresh tears spilling over her lashes.

“You can’t…but maybe I can,” Leia said softly. Rey stared at her evenly.

“Really?”

“My son deserves to know that he has a daughter…and my granddaughter,” She sniffed back her tears, “She deserves to have her father,”

Leia reached out, cupping Rey’s cheek, forcing her to look at her and take in every word she was saying.

“And you deserve to have each other,”

Wrapped up in their conversation, in Rey’s confession, neither woman noticed the person lingering near the ajar door.

Finn leaned against the wall, his jaw clenched so tightly he could hear his teeth grinding. Bile rose in his throat, his stomach churning. He had heard enough.

Kylo Ren was the father of Rey’s child.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's a good chance today I'm going to be updating this story every few hours. I can't hold my cookies, I have no patience and I'm going to be home all day.
> 
> Please do comment and let me know what you think. I promise our favorite space dorks will be reunited soon!

Weeks passed and First Order military forces had begun to recede from occupied planets, leaving just enough to keep the peace.

Ben had put through several executive orders to ensure that corporal punishment was ceased immediately. So far there had been no resistance from his commanding staff. During every meeting they had he was sure to explain the direction he wanted to take the First Order in and he was pleasantly surprised to see that many of the men agreed with his decisions.

The generals and captains he had replaced, he soon realised, were part of the old guard. Old soldiers who still remembered they days of the Empire. Men who had escaped military prison but who still longed for the days of galactic domination.

His new staff was younger, closer to his age with a far more liberal take on how things needed to be done, especially noticing how much toil the war was taking on both sides as well as the civilian population.

Ben sat at the head of a large round table, surrounded by his staff, either in person or via hololink. Hux sat at his right hand. The irony of the position was not lost on him. So far things had gone smoothly, but it was time to put the final stage into action. He was done with waiting.

“Ladies and gentlemen, as many of you have noticed, I’ve been making some changes to the First Order. The old ways weren’t working, and this war has gone on for too long,” He said strongly, his voice carrying across the room.

Many of the attendees nodded in agreement and he hid his smile. Hux sat stone-faced.

“What I’m proposing will seem radical and I’m happy to answer any concerns, for this to work, we need to all be in agreement. I’m proposing a cease-fire, effective immediately,”

The room broke out into hushed mumbles, all talking amongst themselves as Ben stood patiently waiting for what he had said to really settle in.

Hux’s face resembled a fish out of the water, his mouth flapping silently.

“isn’t this just conceding defeat?” one of the men asked curiously. Ben had anticipated this.

“Not at all. The fact the First Order is the side making the first steps towards peace and rebuilding will actually stand us in good stead going forward. It may take them a while to trust our intentions, but every journey requires a first step,” The man nodded, clearly satisfied with Ben’s answer.

“What of the prisoner?”

“The Resistance prisoner Poe Dameron will be freed immediately as a show of good faith, as will any other Resistance prisoners being held on First Order planets,” Ben announced, his voice firm.

“This is absolutely outrageous!” Hux suddenly bellowed, slamming his hands on the table and standing up so violently his chair fell back to the floor.

“How can you just lie down and give in to these rebel dogs! Everything we’ve worked for, everything we’ve fought for will be lost!” Ben stared at Hux, his face the picture of calm.

He turned his head away from Hux, addressing the other members of the room as if the General was never there.

“I understand this will take an adjustment and any of you who are uncomfortable with this course of action, well, you’re free to hand in your resignation by the end of the day,” his voice left no room for argument.

His staff all looked among each other but to his surprise, nobody looked ready to walk out on him, clearly, he had made good choices in his selections.

“If there’s nothing else…”

“We’re NOT done here!” Hux spat. Ben glowered at him.

“If there’s nothing else to discuss,” he continued, “I will be sending word to Coruscant immediately and arrange a meeting with the Resistance leaders. Anyone who wishes to discuss anything in private, my office door will be open for the next hour. Dismissed,”

Swiftly, he rose from his seat and left the room, his coat billowing behind him with the speed. He knew Hux was on his heels and whatever was about to happen, he didn’t want it occurring in the halls.

Right on cue, as Ben walked into his office Hux was directly behind him.

“You blind fool!” the man shouted, “You have just brought about the destruction of the First Order as we know it!”

“Good,” Ben snapped, “The First Order has been destroying the galaxy under the guise of ‘peacekeeping’ for too long and it’s time it came to an end,” Hux sneered at him.

“Don’t think I don’t know what this is all about Ren,” He gloated, “I’ve known for a long time that you’re a turncoat. Giving it all away for that girl!”

Ben took a step towards him, standing his full height over the man, his face darkening.

“Watch what you say…”

“Do you really think I don’t know what really happened to Snoke? I’ve seen the elevator footage, I saw the two of you...surprising really, the mighty Kylo Ren thinking with his cock. I hope that little slut was worth it…”

Ben had heard enough and with one push of his hand, Hux found himself thrown against the office wall, his legs dangling above the ground.

“Don’t you DARE speak about her that way,” Ben shouted, his hands tightening around Hux’s throat, “From the moment I stepped onto this ship you have dogged my every step waiting for the moment to stick a knife in my back, most likely literally,”

Ben felt the cold chill of the darkness swirling in his blood, all his rage focussed on the helpless man in front of him as he twitched and gurgled.

“I should kill you. I should rip your skin from your body with my bare hands and once that’s perhaps what I would have done,” Ben released his grip, Hux falling to the floor in an unceremonious heap but he still couldn’t move. Ben held him frozen.

“But that’s not how I do things, not anymore,” Ben smirked, “You have ‘that girl’ to thank for my sudden change in tactics…but that doesn’t mean you’re going free. Guards!”

The door to his office slid open and Hux found himself at the bottom of multiple blaster barrels. Only then did Ben release his grip. Hux was hauled to his feet, his hands bound. He glowered at Ben.

“General Hux, you are stripped of your rank and under arrest for treason and conspiracy to assassinate the Supreme Leader of the First Order. You are to be kept in maximum isolation until you are taken to Coruscant to stand trial for the destruction of the Hosnian system,”

Hux spat at Ben’s feet.

“You think you’ve suddenly turned over a new leaf, but I know you Kylo Ren,” he screamed, “You can’t use me as a scapegoat! There were others…”

“There were,” Ben drawled, “But handing you over in return for parlay was the main reason Coruscant are agreeing to our cease-fire in the first place. Take him away,”

The guards began to drag Hux away from the room, the now ex-general kicking and struggling as he did.

“Oh, and Hux,” He called. The man stopped his struggling to stare at Ben.

“My name is Ben Solo,”

00000

She was a traitor.

No two ways about it. Rey had met with the enemy, no, not just the enemy, the head of the First Order, behind the backs of everyone in the Resistance.

Finn sat in his room, his door locked. Since his discovery he had isolated himself from everyone, even Rose, making up an excuse that he wasn’t feeling well and needed to be alone. He couldn’t see anyone. Was he the only one who hadn’t known? The thought made him feel sick. It was like he couldn’t trust anyone anymore.

He wished she had joined him on his offer to go to the outer rim so long ago when he was trying to flee Takodana. They would be living a quiet, anonymous life on some backwater planet and none of this would be happening.

Instead, she had…she had…

He rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes trying to block out the thought.

It was mind control. It had to be. He had done something to her on the Supremacy, he had brainwashed her into trusting him. An intrusive thought entered Finn’s mind and he paled.

What if he had forced himself on her? What if she didn’t want to say who the father was because she couldn’t accept what he had done to her? It was too horrible to even consider but knowing exactly what the First Order was capable of, it wasn’t completely out of the question in Finn’s mind.

Finn’s expression hardened, and he looked down at his shaking hands. He knew what he had to do but he didn’t know if he had the strength to do it.

He would have to wait, and he hoped he had the nerve when the time came.

00000

“Come on, where in the kriffing hell did it go?” Rey muttered to herself.

She was awkwardly lying on the floor of her room, trying to peer under the gap between the bed and the floor. Her position was making it difficult to see properly but she couldn’t lie on her front thanks to her swollen body. She huffed, eventually giving up, letting herself go limp on the floor.

Chewbacca was standing over her and he growled.

“I’m fine,” she sighed, “I’m just trying to find my old bag, I think there’s something in there that might help me get through to Ben…” She explained, still lying on the floor on her side trying to squint into the darkness under the bed. Chewbacca replied to her.

“I think it’s under here…”

Chewbacca took on large step across the room, his massive size taking over the smaller space, and he reached down, grasping the side of the bed frame and hauling it up, holding it on its side. Rey grinned up at him.

“Oh, thank you!”

She pushed herself up and swept her eyes on the now illuminated space and spied what she was looking for; her old, brown leather bag. After she had grabbed the bag, Chewbacca carefully put her bed back where it was.

She sat up, pulling the bag onto her lap and began to look through it. Memories came crashing into her head while she rifled through the forgotten items. The only thing she had removed from the bag on her return had been her lightsaber which she kept with her, strapped to her back. Clothes, ration packs…aha! She finally found what she was looking for.

The forgotten communicator was pulled from the bag and she stared at it. Even if he had been trying to get through, the chances of her hearing it had been slim. She had thrown the bag aside, refusing to look at it, bringing it to Dantooine with her out of habit more than everything. She scrunched up her nose, her face showing how foolish she felt for the melodramatic action. Chewbacca chirruped and growled at her.

“I’m not sure if it still works,” she answered, “or if he even still has his. For all I know he got rid of it…”

Rose’s voice screaming at them from the hallway made them both jump and Rey shoved the communicator in her pocket.

“REY! CHEWIE!”

“Rose what’s happening? What’s wrong?!” 

Rose was grinning from ear to ear.

“You’re never going to believe this! The First Order have ceased fire, the war is over!”

Frantically, Rey jumped from the floor, pulling her boots on and following Rose through the halls until they reached the make-shift command room that the Dantooine council had kindly given to Leia as a base for her operations. The room was full of Resistance members crowded around Leia, who was standing in shock.

“What’s happened?” Rey demanded, pushing past people to get to Leia who smiled at her in disbelief.

“It’s over…” She breathed, “We just received word from Coruscant, the First Order have requested a cease-fire. They’re releasing all Resistance prisoners…”

“How do we know they’re telling the truth?” Rose asked.

“They’ve turned over General Hux to the New Republic for the destruction of the Hosnian system…and they’ve requested a meeting. They want to undergo peace talks, to form a new kind of galactic government,”

The elation in the room was palpable, the people erupting in cheers and cries. They hugged and embraced one another, tears streaming down their faces. Years of violence, of fear, all of it was coming to an end. It would take time, but finally, an end was in sight.

Rey grabbed Leia in a fierce hug, her own tears starting.

“Do you still believe that he’s angry with you?” She whispered into Rey’s ear, “I think it’s time we spoke to him,”

Rey pulled away from the women, her eyes still shining, and she nodded in agreement. It was time for them both to put the past behind them and look towards the future.

00000

Poe whistled in appreciation wandering around the guest quarters on the Finalizer. It was on the same deck as Ben’s own quarters, so he knew he must have been getting the good stuff. The black polished floors were met with luxurious, deep red rugs and polished metal walls lined with shelves and storage. There were comfortable couches, a desk, and chair for working and in the adjoining room, a large double bed and personal bathroom.

“I’m sensing a color scheme with you guys,” Poe jibed, falling back onto the couch.

Ben couldn’t help the small, sideways smile on his face. He hated to admit it, but Poe’s sarcasm was growing on him.

“You know…I really didn’t think you would do it,” Poe continued, “Feels weird saying this, but I’m proud of you,”

“Really?” Ben replied, an eyebrow raised.

“Yes, really,” Poe confirmed, “So…have you tried contacting Rey yet?” Ben averted his eyes awkwardly.

“No?! Please tell me you’re joking…”

“It’s not that simple!” Ben excused, and Poe shook his head, his face entertained.

“It is! You’ve done what you set out to do with the First Order. There’s nothing to stop you from reaching out to her except you. You are literally your own roadblock here pal,” Poe stressed, “What are you so afraid of?”

Ben sighed, running his hand through his hair. What kind of a question was that? He really didn’t want to get into it with Poe. They weren’t there yet, but when his old friend was sitting in front of him staring at him, urging him to be Ben and not Kylo, it made things difficult.

“Everything,” He said flatly, “She deserves better than me. The things I’ve done…I…”

“Have happened and there’s nothing you can do to change that,” Poe said quietly, “I’m not saying it’ll be easy. There’s a lot of bad blood on both sides of this fight to work through but you made the first steps to make it right. YOU did that,”

Ben nodded slightly, his face still set in a worried frown.

“I’ll…think on it,” he mumbled, “I really have to think about what I’m going to say before I say it. I’ll leave you to get settled in. We’ll be heading to Coruscant in a few days,”

“Sounds good,” Poe said, “You get working on that apology!”

Ben shot him an exasperated look and nodded his goodbye, leaving Poe alone in his room. The pilot settled back onto the cushions of the couch. After living in a prison cell for months, he would have settled for any room with a soft bed, but this was the height of luxury.

His opulent surroundings had, at first, filled him with a strange anger. So many planets had nothing, living on scraps while the First Order brass lived like royalty. It hadn’t seemed fair, but, Ben was changing things. He had made the first steps and Poe was confident once Leia was involved that things would finally start to improve after so many years of fighting.

The stars twinkled from the viewfinder and Poe allowed himself the luxury of just sitting back for a while to watch them, to let the gravity of the moment settle in.

He had heard Hux screaming like a banshee as he had been escorted from his hiding place to meet with Ben. It had given him a smug sense of satisfaction hearing the man. There was another layer of pride in knowing Ben had done the right thing. Poe wouldn’t have blamed Ben for killing him, but instead, he chose a higher road. A tangible proof that Kylo Ren was fading into nothing.

The peaceful silence in the room was suddenly interrupted by a crackling sound. Poe frowned, listening out and trying to locate the interruption. The more he listened, he realized it was coming from his pocket.

The communicator was working.

He had tried using it several times, but nothing had worked. All he had received back was static until this moment.

“Hello? Ben, please tell me you can hear me?”

It was Rey. Rey and she was asking for Ben.

Poe let out a hysterical laugh, rubbing his hand over his mouth. She wanted to speak to him, she was trying to get into contact. He pressed the button on the communicator.

“Rey?! Rey, it’s Poe! Boy am I glad to hear your voice!”

“POE?!”

00000

Ben was walking back to his own quarters deep in thought.

Poe was right, there was nothing stopping him from opening to Rey but himself. He thought back to that night, the last time he had seen her. They had both been so stubborn, so blinded by untold hurt and anger that neither of them had been thinking logically.

He had missed her so much. The smell of her skin, her hair, the touch of her soft lips on his. It drove him to madness almost every night in his dreams and he would wake more exhausted than when he first tried to sleep.

Ben had only just entered his rooms, throwing his coat over a nearby chair when he felt a twinge in his head. He paused, his brows knitting together as he tried to make out the connection.

The twinge came again. Much to his disappointment, he realized, this wasn’t Rey. Their bond was different to this and he had closed himself off to her too tightly. No, this was something else.

Like a blow to his stomach, the force hit him, and he had to stumble to a chair and steady himself. Once the initial shock had subsided, the feeling remained in his head, but it wasn’t painful or unpleasant. In fact, it was comforting…and familiar. Pain constricted his heart and his breath hitched in his throat when her voice rang out in his head.

“Mother?”

“Hello, Son,”


	15. Chapter 15

“Mother?”

“Hello, Son,”

Ben felt rooted to the spot hearing his estranged mother’s voice. It was so much of a shock he wasn’t sure if he was really hearing her in his head or if he was imagining things.

“Mother? Ho…how?” He gasped.

His stomach was churning, and his heart was pounding. He knew that eventually, he would have had to face her, to talk to her but not so soon and certainly not like this. He felt like he had been ambushed by the force in the cruelest way.

“Well come on, you knew that it wasn’t just your Uncle who could use the force,” Her voice spoke in his head, “I think it’s time we had a talk,”

Ben released a shuddering breath, holding his face in his hands. It was happening whether he was ready or not. His eyes began to sting, an immense pressure building in his chest.

“I...I’m sorry…Mother, I’m so sorry!” he choked.

His apology felt so minuscule in the face of his past deeds but what else could he do or say?

“Oh, Ben…I failed you so badly,” She sighed, her voice cracking, “We failed to protect you. You were so young and carrying such a burden, I’d give anything to take it back,”

Ben sat blinking, his vision blurred through his tears barely able to believe what he was hearing. She was admitting to him that she had failed, taking responsibility for her faults.

“Why did you send me away?” He asked. She was silent and for a moment he thought their connection had been broken.

“We were afraid,” She answered, “You were so powerful, and we didn’t know how to help you…”

“You could have talked to me!” Ben snapped suddenly, “You could have actually tried to find out what was happening to me! Mother, I had been hearing Snoke’s voice in my head for as long as I could remember and when I tried to talk to you about it you stared at me like…like I was infected…like I was something to be afraid of. You have no idea how it feels to grow up knowing that your own parents are afraid of you!”

Ben blinked furiously trying to stop his tears, but they continued unbidden and his throat grew so tight he felt like he could barely continue to speak. Memories of how he had begged to stay with them, how he had fallen to his knees in front of his mother in tears asking her not to send him away, promising that he could do better invaded his senses and he knew she could feel it too.

“I was wrong, Ben, I know that now,” She said, her own voice thick with tears, “and I know the truth about what happened that night at the temple, the whole truth…”

“I didn’t know what to do…” he said, his voice trailing off. How could he begin to explain that night?

“Your Uncle Luke was a great man…but he wasn’t perfect, he had his own issues with the darkness. I’m so sorry that you went through that,” she sighed.

He could barely believe what she was saying to him. The words he had longed to hear. She was sorry, that she realized his pain and how much he had suffered. Now that it was a reality, his vindication suddenly felt rather hollow.

“Please…stop,” He requested quietly, “It…it doesn’t matter now. There’s so much neither of us can change…”

“I know, Son, I know,” she sighed once more, the unspoken subject hanging between them.

“He loved you, you know. Even if he wasn’t the best at showing it,”

Ben felt cold remembering his father’s final moments, standing in front of him, telling him that he would do anything to help him. He was sure the look in Han’s eyes would haunt him until his last breath. A strangled sob escaped Ben’s lips, his body shaking giving in to his pent-up emotions.

“Mother, I’m so sorry…I don’t know what else I can say,” he sobbed, his voice broken.

Then Leia said something Ben had never expected to hear.

“I forgive you, Ben”

He stilled, his breath being swallowed in gulps. It was clear Leia was also crying just as much as he was but surely there was no way he had heard what she had said correctly.

“What?” he breathed, “I don’t understand…”

“If there’s something I’ve learned over the years, it’s that forgiveness isn’t earned. Forgiveness is an act of compassion that is given because it’s needed. We need to look forward now son. We need to look towards the future,” her voice was broken but firm and Ben took a deep, staggered breath, wiping his face with his hands.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“So, you called for a cease-fire,” Leia remarked, changing the subject, “You want peace talks,”

“I do,” Ben replied, his voice gaining more stability at a more neutral subject, “I’ve come to realize that the regime is…outdated. The war couldn’t carry on forever, things had to change…”

“I see,” She said, and he felt her smiling, “Can I assume this sudden change also has to do with a certain young woman named Rey?”

He was about to reply when his words faltered, his face contorting into open-mouthed shock.

“Oh yes, I know everything,” Leia confirmed, “and I mean _everything_ ,”

 A blush rose on his cheeks as he wondered just how much his mother actually knew about his relationship with Rey. From the tone of her voice, it was far more than any son wanted their mother to know and he shifted awkwardly. Leia, sensing his discomfort couldn’t help her laughter.

“You’re not a child anymore Ben. I can accept that my Son is a fully-grown man now,” the levity left her voice as she continued, “She told me about the bond and everything else,”

Ben began to fidget with his hands, uncomfortable that his mother was privy to such private information about Rey and himself, but it at least made him glad that if she had confided in anyone, it was his mother. He wondered what else she had told her.

“How…how is she?” He asked quietly.

“She told me you closed yourself off from her? Why?”

“I was so angry with her...we were both so stubborn and the more time has passed…I don’t even know where to begin trying to make amends,” he sighed.

“I’ve seen more relationships broken by wounded pride,” Leia said, “You are more like your father than you realize!”

Ben winced at the mention of his father. The comparison stung, and he hoped it was a feeling that would lessen over time.

“She was distraught when she returned to us on Takodana. She wouldn’t eat, she barely spoke to anyone…she misses you, badly, and she’s been trying to reach you!”

“She has?” Leia smiled.

“Oh Ben, there’s so much that you don’t know…”

Ben frowned. What didn’t he know? Panic began to set in and his throat tightened along with his chest.

“Has something happened? Is Rey alright?!” He demanded quickly.

“Shh, Ben, she’s fine…but please, PLEASE, reach out to her,” Leia asked, “Before we meet in Coruscant,” He nodded.

“I will,” He promised, “I…I’ve missed you, mother,” he whispered and a warmth he hadn’t felt since he was a child washed over him.

“I’ve missed you too son,”

00000

Rey’s hands were trembling, barely holding on to the communicator. This was NOT the voice she had expected to hear at all.

“Poe? How? We...we thought you were dead…” she said, her voice barely above a shaking whisper.

On the other end of the com, she heard him chuckle.

“Not dead. Just captured,” he confirmed, “but man, it’s good to hear your voice Rey,” She smiled.

“It’s good to hear yours too! Poe, what happened to you?” she heard him sigh.

“I was trying to cover the ships getting out of Hoth but I was caught before I could make it to the last transport…and you’re never going to believe what happened next!”

“Well…Tell me!”

“Rey, I know everything. About you and Ben and your bond,” he said.

Rey sat dumbstruck, squeezing the tiny device and rubbing her stomach. The pilot didn’t know the whole of it.

“How?” She asked simply.

“He’s different Rey,” Poe said, she could hear the smile on his face, “I got hauled into a prison cell and Ben himself was summoned to deal with me. As soon as we were alone, he broke. He told me about how he wanted to change things, how he had to deal with Hux first and…eventually…all about you. He gave me this communicator to try and get through to the Resistance but that was before he ordered the truce. I’ve been trying to get through for weeks!”

Rey shifted awkwardly, realizing that perhaps if she hadn’t kept the damn thing buried in a bag under her bed, this conversation could have been had sooner.

“Oh,” She said simply, not really knowing how to respond.

Something about all of this was vexing her. For all Ben had changed, ordering the truce, arranging peace talks and negotiations on Coruscant, he had given the communicator to Poe instead of trying to reach through himself. What if he still didn’t want to see her?

“It was all for you, you know,” Poe’s voice crackled through.

“What?”

“He told me about how you two left things,” Poe sighed, “and in my opinion, you’re both idiots,”

Rey rolled her eyes. She knew fine well just how much of an idiot she had been and didn’t need another reminder. Since landing on Dantooine it was a recurring thought of hers.

“He wants to talk to you Rey…it’s funny, take away all the black clothes and the mystical mumbo-jumbo and he’s still that shy kid I met years ago. He misses you,” Rey felt damp rising in her eyes.

“Did he say that?”

“Not directly but you’d have to be blind not to see it,” Poe stressed, “Go to Coruscant and talk with him. I promise things will be alright,”

“I will,” She promised, “Wait…Poe, where are you?”

“I’m on the Finalizer still,” He said, “In some rather swanky quarters I might add!”

“They have you in quarters?!” Rey exclaimed. Poe laughed.

“Well yeah, they’ve released all the Resistance prisoners and since I didn’t know where you guys are, the best place for me to be is under the Supreme Leaders protection. I’ll be meeting with you guys on Coruscant…as lovely as this is, I can’t wait to get off this damn ship!”

Rey grinned. He still sounded like the old Poe, her friend that she loved so much. Losing Poe had added another layer to her already shattered emotions and she knew it had been hard on everyone else too. Leia, while she had remained so strong in front of everyone else, had taken Poe’s loss particularly hard.

“Can you do me a favor?” Poe asked, “Can you give the com to Leia and tell her to contact me? I really want to speak to her,” Rey smiled softly.

“Of course, I can but…Ben, I need to speak to him,” Rey said.

“I wouldn’t worry about that. I’m sure he’ll be getting in touch,” Poe quipped, Rey quirked an eyebrow at his tone.

“I’ve missed you, Poe,”

“I’ve missed you too Rey,”

00000

By the time Ben had finished talking with his mother, he was exhausted, mentally and emotionally. He hadn’t been prepared for things they had to explore, for the topics they had to begin getting past. It had been difficult, but it was a start. He could honestly say that his trepidation about seeing her again in person had lessened knowing how she truly felt.

But there was someone else he had to make amends with.

Leia had told him that she had been trying to reach him, that she missed him but what if things had changed? They had spent so much time isolated from the other because of his damn pride. No, he thought, even if she rejected him in the end, he was going to make things right.

He had to.

_There’s so much that you don’t know…_

Those words made his stomach drop and as much as he had pressed, Leia had refused to tell him anything, only saying that it wasn’t her place to tell him. It was frustrating. What if she had been hurt and he didn’t know about it? While he was out trying to fix his past mistakes, his future could have been evaporating and he wouldn’t have known.

He threw off his coat and tunic, sitting only in his black undershirt. Placing his hands on his knees, he closed his eyes and carefully reached out, wrenching their bond open for the first time in what felt like forever.

He only hoped she was still there on the other side.

00000

It was night time on Dantooine.

The entire settlement was sleeping peacefully, save for a number of Resistance guards patrolling the perimeter. A truce may have been called but old habits died hard and it was right for them to all still be cautious.

Rey’s conversation with Poe had shaken her. Combined with a child who had suddenly sprung to life again, Rey was finding it hard to drift off. She lay in bed on her side, her loose top drifting over her body and her sheets pooled at her waist in the warmth of the night, moonlight falling through her window and basking her room in a silvery glow.

_He misses you…_

Poe’s words filled her with a hope that she had tried to deny for so long. With their bond being closed, she had always just assumed that Ben had allowed his anger and resentment to consume him again, to drag him back to the darkness. She had hated herself for it, hated that she was the reason he might be lost.

Her daughter kicked her again, wriggling as she changed position cocooned in the womb. Rey sighed.

“What’s wrong baby girl, huh?” she crooned quietly, massaging the point of impact, “What’s got you so riled up?”

Rey gently continued her stroking, thinking of her daughter, so close to joining their world. It was a scary thought, being responsible for this life all by herself. She stared into the nothing of the stars outside of her window. Just for tonight, she thought, just for tonight she would allow herself to think about what might be. Even if it hurt her later.

Ben holding her hand as she brought their daughter into the world, softly whispering how much he loved her and how proud he was of her. Ben holding their child against his bare chest, rocking her back to sleep when she woke in the middle of the night. Teaching her how to use the force safely, how to write, how to speak different languages, how to pilot a ship.

He would put their child to bed, kissing her on the forehead and stroking her hair before coming to their own room and pulling his love into his arms. Sometimes Rey’s dreams were far more passionate, remembering every contour of his body as they moved together, mouths swallowing every moan. Sometimes they were far gentler, and she would imagine him simply holding her through the night until their daughter woke them the next morning.

She shuddered muffled cry into her pillow. It hurt. It hurt too much to think that he wouldn’t be there for it all.

“Mirrorbright, shines the moon, its glow as soft as an ember

When the moon is mirrorbright, take this time to remember

Those you have loved but are gone

Those who kept you so safe and warm

The mirrorbright moon lets you see

Those who have ceased to be

Mirrorbright shines the moon, as fires die to their embers

Those you loved are with you still—

The moon will help you remember”

She sang quietly, her voice as soft as the wind over the Dantooine grass but still thick with her barely concealed tears.

Her unborn child continued to wriggle and move in a way that Rey had never felt before and she paused. Something felt different. A familiar presence slowly began to hum through her body, the chill sending a shiver up her spine. Something in the force was stirring and what’s more, her baby knew it too.

Pushing herself bolt upright with a gasp at the sensation, like electricity running from a switch being turned on as the force sparked to life around her. Her eye line facing the end of her bed, she realized why.

Ben was in the room with her.

His dark eyes were wide in contrast to his pale skin, paler still in the moonlit room, and locked with Rey’s. Both were motionless, he wanted to move towards her, but he felt rooted to the spot, completely entranced by seeing her again.

“You’re here…” She whispered in awe, barely able to believe her own eyes.

She had dreamed about this so many times, part of her still skeptical that this wasn’t a particularly vivid illusion. His eyes scanned her face, just as beautiful as he remembered, but her body was certainly not the same.

“Rey…You…You’re…” he stammered, his eyes wide and blinking, processing and piecing together the information. She nodded shyly.

“Is…am I…” She nodded again.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He wondered softly, his heart constricting at the sight of tears running down her beautiful face.

“I wanted to!” She cried, “I tried to reach you, but you were so closed off to me and I thought…I thought you still hated me for the things I had said…Ben, I didn’t mean any of it, I’m so sorry…”

The sight of her breaking down, her body wracked with heavy sobs was enough to break Ben from his stupor and in only a few long strides he was by her side, pulling her into his arms tightly, his own tears betraying him. She buried her head in his chest as she cried, and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“I’m so sorry Rey,” he choked, “It doesn’t matter now. None of it matters now, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere…I love you so much,”

“Ben, I’ve been so afraid,” she sighed, her sobs lessening as he gazed down at her face in anguish.

He had closed himself off from her and left her alone to carry their child. Ben cursed himself, he should have been there and not just through their bond. He should have been there in person to take care of her, to protect her. He exhaled a shuddery breath.

“You should never have been left to bare this on your own,” He said softly, “I’m such a fool,”

“You’re here now. That’s what matters,” She said firmly. He stroked her cheek, gently wiping away her tears.

“I’m not leaving you ever again,” He vowed, “Once we meet on Coruscant, that’s it, I’ll be by your side for the rest of my days,”

Still holding her face gently, he kissed her, and it was as if an explosion had erupted in his chest. Like a man denied oxygen and given air for the first time, he moved against her and she moaned against him.

They continued to explore each other, her hands running over his chest. The feeling of her tongue running along his own was waking something in him, a primal need to show her just how much he had missed her, how much he still wanted her.

That was until she pulled away abruptly, her hand moving to her stomach.

“Ouch!” Rey hissed, “Alright, it’s not like I’ve forgotten about you!” She said, looking down at her sizable bump. Ben blinked in confusion and Rey smiled back at him indulgently.

“Your daughter likes to kick for attention,” she explained.

Ben’s face broke into the most beautiful smile she had ever seen.

“It…it’s a girl? I’m having a daughter?” Rey just continued to grin, tears of happiness in her eyes.

“It’s a girl,”

He wrapped her in his arms again, holding her close.

“Thank you,” He breathed, “I love you, both of you, so much…”

Carefully he pulled her back onto the bed, allowing her to lie on her side and get comfortable as he lay at her back. She sighed happily, snuggling against him.

“Tell me all about my daughter,” he said softly.

Together, in the moonlight of her temporary bedroom, Rey finally lay in the arms of the man she loved, telling him about their unborn child until a peaceful sleep claimed her. Ben kissed his sleeping love on the cheek, his hand falling over hers protectively on her stomach, watching her breathing fall evenly in and out.

He was home.


	16. Chapter 16

While Rey had fallen asleep, Ben had remained wide awake, his arms wrapped possessively around her the whole time.

Seeing her had been a shock to say the least and the guilt of his abandonment still weighed heavily on his mind, despite their reconciliation. He suspected it would remain with him for some time, but she was right, the past didn’t matter anymore. They were together again, and they had their future to look forward to.

Peace talks on Coruscant were going to take some time, months, maybe even years to hammer out the details of creating a new galactic government and he began to think of their situation and where they would live. Rey wouldn’t want their daughter to be born and raised on a ship, and the Finalizer was no place for a young family.

Maybe he would investigate properties on Coruscant. Most were large penthouse style apartments, but he could make sure that he found one with a garden. He could have an office so that any smaller tasks he could mediate would be from home. If the capital was going to become the new seat of a new order, it made sense that they had a home there.

He meant every word he had spoken when he had told her they wouldn’t be separated again once they reunited in person.

As the early morning sunlight streamed through the windows, he watched with affection as Rey began to stir, moving closer into his body.

“Morning,” she whispered, her voice still groggy and rough with sleep, “I didn’t think you’d still be here when I woke up,”

He smiled down at her softly. It’s what he had wanted for so long, waking up with her.

“I didn’t want to leave you until you woke,” he said quietly, “How do you feel?”

“Better than I have in a long time,” She purred, stretching her body with a dozy smile on her face.

Ben rubbed her stomach gently.

“And, how is she?” he asked, pressing a kiss against Rey’s neck as she leaned her head into him.

He didn’t really need to ask but he wanted to. While Rey was sleeping, he had kept a constant vigilant watch over them both and he could feel her through the force. Her signature was small still, but so strong and it excited him.

“She’s sleeping,” Rey said, “and thank the maker for that. I think she’s going to be little terror when she finally learns to walk,”

“Or worse, learns how to levitate things,” he joked, “Rey, I can feel her, she’s going to be so strong with the force,”

It was only a half joke. He had distinct memories as a child first learning how to manipulate the environment around him and it drove his mother to distraction. Eventually, nothing was out of his reach.

“And growing faster every day thanks to it. It’s a good thing she’s going to have a good teacher,” Rey yawned.

Ben could sense that too and it made him anxious to make it to Rey’s side again. He had missed so much, he wasn’t going to miss his daughter's first breath.

“It’s still early in the day. You could go back to sleep,” he said, stroking her hair. Rey shook her head lightly.

“There’s no point, once I’m awake that’s me awake. My back will start to kill me if I lie in the same position for too long and the doctor told me it’s better that I keep active,”

He nodded in understanding, pleased that at least while he had been gone Rey had been receiving proper medical care. He shuddered to think how they would have managed on Takodana or worse, on Hoth.

“Besides, Chewie will be round to check on me any minute now,”

“Chewie?” Ben said, his questioning voice tentative.

Chewbacca, his father’s constant companion, his brother in arms, had been a figure in his life for as long as he could remember. He could still remember the roar of anguish the wookie had made when Han had been killed, still feel the sting of the bolt when he had been shot in the torso.

Next, to his mother, Chewbacca was the other person he was most anxious about coming face to face with.

“Does he know that I’m the father?”

“He does. He’s actually the first one I told after I found out and he hasn’t left my side since,” Rey said, “he’s very protective,”

“That’s what I’m worried about…” Ben sighed.

Rey awkwardly shifted and turned to look up at him, using her hand to gently force him to look at her.

“He loves you, Ben,” She said firmly, “While he might never forgive you for…well, he still loves you and all he wanted was for you to come back to us. I know it’ll be uncomfortable but he’s just as much a part of your family,”

Ben gave a whisper of a nod knowing that what she was saying was the truth.

“And besides, I love you both of you and I am NOT choosing between you,” she smirked but the smile fell from her face.

“Do you really have to go?” he sighed sadly, kissing her softly.

“I don’t want to but just being here is taking a considerable effort and I don’t want to push it too far,” he replied, “two days. We’ll be on Coruscant in two days and I promise I will not leave your side again,”

She sighed against him, his forehead pressed to hers.

“Two days,”

00000

Something was wrong.

Rose frowned lightly to herself, deep in thought. Something was wrong with Finn and it was frustrating and worrying her that he wouldn’t open up.

After everything, she thought they had become closer than that. While they hadn’t decided officially what they were, they had spent most of their nights together, acting like besotted teenagers and sneaking into each other’s rooms at night.

Since Rey’s pregnancy, his whole demeanor had changed. Rose had spoken to him about it and at first, he had said it was only because he was worried for his friend, not because of any kind of romantic attachment. He was concerned that Rey was hiding something from them.

“Don’t you want to know who the father is?” He stressed, and Rose waved the question off telling him that when Rey was ready, she would tell them.

Then one day, he disappeared. Rose had gone out of her mind with worry for him until he re-appeared with an excuse that he hadn’t been feeling well and had simply isolated himself so nobody else caught what he had. She knew it had been a lie.

She had checked his room and found it suspiciously empty.

From that moment on, he had become so quiet. Refusing to speak unless he was spoken to and even then, it was only a few words. Any time Rey was mentioned at all, even in passing, he would turn cold, leaving the conversation as quickly as he could.

When she found Finn, he was sitting alone cleaning his blaster.

“Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while,” she said carefully, “Is everything alright?”

Finn barely looked up from his task, making a nonsensical huffing sound.

“So, we’re leaving for Coruscant soon…isn’t that great? We can finally put an end to all of this,” Finn grunted.

“Yeah, that’s what people think…but they don’t know the First Order like I do. They don’t know what these people are capable of…I don’t trust them,” He growled.

Rose recoiled from him ever so slightly. This wasn’t the Finn she knew, she had never seen him so hostile.

“Finn, I know that what you went through with them must have been hard, being taken from your family as a kid…We all have our pasts with them but holding onto this anger, it’s not good for you. We need to look forward,” Rose insisted.

He stopped cleaning his weapon and put it on the ground next to him, finally looking up at her with hard eyes.

“That’s what everyone keeps telling me,” he said, “But they don’t KNOW what they’ve done,”

“Has something happened? This isn’t like you…” Rose said quietly, her hands trembling slightly.

“What about Rey huh? And Leia? Why are they so happy to just roll over and accept this supposed cease-fire?” He continued, “They know something that we don’t,”

“They want the war to be over! They have hope and we should too…please, Finn, just come to Coruscant and you’ll see that things are changing for the better,” Rose pleaded.

“Speaking of Rey, why hasn’t she told anyone who the father is?”

“Not this again…Finn, she clearly doesn’t need people to know. Can’t you just support your friend?” He shook his head.

“Or because she can’t tell people,” he spat bitterly.

Rose sighed, clearly aware she was getting nowhere with their conversation.

“Please, just come to Coruscant…Rey’s going to give birth any day now and you’ll see how things are,”

Finn picked up his blaster, his eyes still trained on the smaller woman.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be on Coruscant,”

Rose turned and left him, her own thoughts tumbling in her head. Something was definitely wrong.

00000

Despite not sleeping at all, Ben had never felt better. He walked the halls of the ship with a private smile on his face, ignoring the number of unnerved looks he received from the bridge staff and it occurred to him that none of them had ever seen him smile before.

He had never really had a true reason.

Ben entered his office to find Poe already sitting, a cup of caf in his hand and a data pad in his lap.

“Morning starshine,” the pilot quipped.

Ben rolled his eyes in good nature at Poe’s tone.

“I trust you have a reason for spending time in my office and not in your quarters?” Ben asked, pulling off his coat and hanging it up before making his way around his desk.

Poe shrugged.

“I guess I just love your company,” Ben blinked at him, his face unimpressed and Poe couldn’t hold his laughter, “Lighten up, I just got bored hanging out in my room…as stunning as it is. Besides, buzz around here is that the supreme leader has been caught SMILING?!” he finished with mock offense, his hand clutching at his chest dramatically.

“You’ve been released barely twenty-four hours and you’re already involved with ship gossip? Looks like somethings actually never change…” Ben said dryly without looking at the other man, busying himself with his console.

Poe stood, mug in hand and walked over to Ben at his desk.

“So? I’m assuming this sudden change in mood means you and Rey finally spoke?” he pressed.

Ben, sensing that he wasn’t about to get any work done, sighed and turned to look at Poe, the pilots face radiating anxious excitement.

“Fine. Yes, we spoke…”

“And it went…well?”

“You could say that…” Poe rolled his eyes.

“Come on, Ben!” he exclaimed, “You’re going to need to tell me more than that!”

Ben shot him an annoyed glance.

“I’m not about to start gossiping with you, Dameron. This might come as a shock to you, but some things are allowed to be kept private,” He said firmly.

Poe only continued to grin, and Ben growled under his breath.

“I apologized for what I said, she apologized, we reconciled and she’s coming to Coruscant with the Resistance in two days’ time…” Poe leveled him with a skeptical look.

“There’s something else…” Ben sighed knowing full well that Poe wasn’t going to drop the subject until he was told everything.

“Rey’s pregnant,” Ben said simply.

Poe staggered back to his seat until he was sitting again, his eyes wide with shock staring at nothing.

“Wait...what?!” he shouted. Ben scowled.

“Keep your voice down!” he hissed, “Yeah…that’s all of it. Rey’s pregnant,”

“How?” Ben’s eyebrow raised.

“Do I really need to tell you how it works?”

“Oh, shut up,” Poe mumbled, “You’re going to be a dad? With Rey?

Ben nodded with a half-smile and Poe’s face split into a full grin.

“Ben, that’s amazing. Really. Congratulations!” Poe paused, counting in his head, “She must be quite far along now?!”

“The force has accelerated things somewhat,” Ben said uncertainly, “She could deliver any day now…” Poe’s face fell, mirroring Ben’s.

“And we’re all the way out here…” He said quietly, “Don’t worry, I’m sure she can hold out for two more days!”

 Ben sighed, running his hand through his hair nervously, hoping that his friend was right.

00000

“Chewie?”

The wookie growled in question at Rey as they sat together outside at her favorite spot overlooking the lake. Her legs were crossed, and her eyes closed.

“When your species grow older…does your fur turn white?”

Chewbacca moaned indignantly at her and she opened her eyes turning to him.

“I’m sorry! I can’t concentrate on meditation today, random thoughts keep popping into my head and I feel like I’m going crazy. Three times I entered and left a room because I forgot what I was going in for!”

She could have sworn her larger friend laughed at her.

“Leia was right. ‘Baby brain’ does seem to be a thing,” She muttered, “Are we all packed to leave?” He nodded at her.

“Good,” She sighed happily, “I can’t believe I’m going to see him again…” Chewbacca purred happily for her.

Rey had been so lost in her own thoughts she hadn’t heard Leia come up behind them.

“Do you mind if I join you?” She asked, and Rey gestured next to her, watching as the woman sat down on the ground next to her.

“I would have thought you still had a lot to do?” Rey said but Leia shook her head.

“Everything is packed for our journey and everyone has been briefed. I think we’ve all earned a little downtime before the real work begins,” She said with a smile, “Are you ready?”

“I’m all packed…”

“I mean are you ready to see him?” Leia asked. Rey grinned.

“I was so worried that he would be angry that I kept this from him…instead, I feel ashamed that I didn’t tell him sooner,” she sighed, “But he was so gentle, so understanding…I’ve never felt more loved,”

Leia wrapped her arm around Rey’s shoulders, squeezing her slightly.

“Oh Rey, you are loved!” She exclaimed, “And so is that little lady who is ready to meet us any day now…”

“She is…” Rey said hesitantly, stroking her stomach and feeling her child’s force signature, beating healthy and strong.

It wouldn’t be long now, she knew that much.

“What’s wrong?” Leia asked with concern.

“What if he doesn’t make it in time?” Rey pondered softly, “What if she’s born and he’s not there?”

Leia rubbed her back, trying her best to give the younger woman comfort.

“If I know my Son, he’ll move the stars to get there on time,” She said, “Everything will work out…you’ll see,”

“I don’t even know what to expect,” Rey said, her tone full of dread and anxiety. Leia scrunched her nose.

“I won’t lie to you…labour is awful,” she said in a very matter of fact way, “It’s a slog and it’s painful but you are a tough girl and I promise you, once you have her in your arms it will all be forgotten about!”

“Really?”

“Really,”

Leia’s description was doing nothing to ease Rey’s fears and she quickly changed the subject.

“What’s Coruscant like?”

“It’s a beautiful place!” Leia enthused, “Huge buildings full of light, a multi-cultural city that buzzes with vibrancy and life. Really, it’s the perfect place for…whatever we create, to be based,”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been anywhere like it,”

“Which is why I don’t want you wandering on your own,” Leia warned, “But I’m sure your shadow will always be with you,” She jested turning to Chewbacca who roared softly in agreement.

The three Resistance members continued to sit on the banks of the lake talking as the sun hung low in the sky.

Leia spoke of her talks with Poe and how elated she was that he was alright, how proud she was of him for putting the past aside and working with Ben. She told them tales of Ben and Poe as children and how much trouble they used to get in.

“Of course, it was always Poe dragging Ben along with him,” Leia laughed.

As the sun bathed the landscape in an orange glow, Leia pushed herself to her feet.

“It’s getting late in the day. We should prepare for dinner. We’re leaving first light tomorrow,” she announced.

Rey allowed Chewbacca to help her to her feet, anxious excitement pooling in her gut at Leia’s words. Finally, after so long in limbo, it felt like things were moving again.

“Oh, and Rey, you might want to take this back,” Leia said, handing her the communicator, “Just in case someone wants to say goodnight,”

00000

Dinner had been a rowdy affair and many of the Resistance fighters and officers were suffering for it the next day. Leia had little sympathy but was good-natured about the whole thing.

“Ah, they needed to blow off some steam and celebrate. It’s good to see people smiling and laughing again,” She said.

Finn had been conspicuous by his absence and Rose had seemed more subdued than usual, it had taken her a long time to loosen up but still by the end of the night she was jovial again, laughing and smiling along with Rey as they gushed about her baby.

Rey had, eventually, been taken to bed by Chewbacca, but still far earlier than everyone else. She was tired, sore and just wanted to curl up in her bed. She wished Chewbacca goodnight and settled herself between her sheets.

As her eyes began to drift closed, the communicator lying on her side table crackled to life.

“Rey?”

Her heart leaped at the sound of Ben’s voice and she reached out, pulling the small device to her.

“Ben?”

“I was hoping I would catch you before you fell asleep,” she heard him say softly and she smiled, imaging his face.

“I was just dozing off. Leia wants to leave as early as possible tomorrow,” She yawned.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” he said warmly, “I just wanted to speak to you and I didn’t want to push the bond too far. How are you feeling?” Rey sighed lightly, stretching out under the covers.

“We’re well,” she replied, “I wish you were here,” she heard him sigh on the other end of the com.

“Believe me, I wish I was there too. It’s taken a lot of convincing to stop me running to my ship to fly straight to you,” He said, “Two days, just two more days,”

“I hope she holds out that long…Ben, what if you’re not there? I don’t know if I can do this without you,” She stressed, wishing he was there holding her.

“I’m going to do everything in my power to get to you, I promise,” she heard him say, “but you can, Rey, you’re the strongest person I know, and I love you so, so much,”

“I love you,” She said firmly while trying to fight another yawn.

She heard his laugh laughter through the connection.

“Sounds like you need to get some rest sweetheart,” he crooned, “I don’t want to let you go but…”

“I know,” She yawned, “but it’s late here and it’s not just me we need to think about,”

“Just two more days, I promise,” He said, “Sleep well, sweetheart,”

“Goodnight, Ben,”

00000

The trip to Coruscant had been mercifully uneventful.

It had taken some convincing, but Rey had managed to get her way, flying to the core world on the Falcon with Chewbacca instead of on one of the newer transports. While the freighters medical bay may have been far better equipped to deal with her situation, she wanted to be back on her favorite ship.

“Chewie is the only one who will fly the Falcon and he wants to stay near me…so that’s where I’m going,”

Leia had eventually relented, making her promise that at the first sign of anything she would get in contact with another ship.

Their bond had opened sporadically and more than once Rey had to explain to Chewbacca why she was talking to herself. After the first initial confusion, the wookie would just roll his eyes in good nature and leave them too it, even if he couldn’t see her companion.

Eventually, after almost two days in hyperspace, the Falcon slowed, and they began to descend on Coruscant. Rey frantically staring out of the viewfinder like an excited child.

Upon landing, Leia and Rey were met by an exquisitely dressed man.

“On behalf of the New Republic, we would be honored to officially welcome you to Coruscant,” He announced, bowing deeply before them, “We have lodgings available and ready for your delegates,” Leia smiled gratefully.

“Thank you,” She said, “Although some of us will not be requiring them. I have a property very close to the embassy and I’m eager to get back to it. I’ve been away for quite some time,” Rey turned to her.

“You have a home here?”

“Oh yes, it’s a beautiful place,” Leia answered, “Don’t worry, I called ahead and had a room prepared for you and my grandchild. I assume you’ll want to stay with Ben when he arrives but until then, I don’t want you to be on your own!” Rey smiled thankfully.

“Can…Chewie stay too?” she asked tentatively, and Leia smiled warmly at the wookie.

“Always,” she said, “He knows where his room is!” Chewie practically purred in thanks.

Coruscant was unlike anything Rey had ever witnessed before. The buildings were so tall, glinting silver and white in the sun. Speeders and transports of all kinds whizzed around and combined with the noise of the people, it made for a lot of stimulation at one time. She couldn’t wait to finally explore, but there were more pressing matters to attend to.

“Excuse me?” she called to the man who met them, “Have the delegates from the First Order arrived yet?” She asked hopefully, feeling nothing but disappointment when the man shook his head.

Leia reached out and held Rey’s hand, giving it a squeeze.

“Don’t worry, he’ll be here soon,” she said comfortingly.

The man began to lead the Resistance leaders from the dock, Rey taking in the views of the city as they went. She had been half listening to him talk about the history of some nearby building when suddenly a sharp pain made her stop walking completely.

“Rey? Are you alright?!” Rose asked quickly, moving to her side.

Rey tried to nod, to say that she was fine, but another sharp spasm hit her, and her hands flew to her rounded stomach.

“Oh…OH!” She gasped, almost doubling over with the sensation.

Then she felt it. A warm sensation moving down her legs coupled with an ache unlike she had ever felt.

Her water had broken.


	17. Chapter 17

“Kriff this hurts!” Rey groaned, still doubled over.

Chewbacca’s arms were around her, taking all of her weight to keep her from lying on the ground. Leia, ever the General, immediately sprang to action and began barking orders, instructing their welcome liaison to get a medical transport. Once she was done, she moved to Rey, crouching down to meet her eyes.

“Okay, Rey, I need you to breathe slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth,” She said, her voice soft, soothing and a stark contrast to the way she had spoken to everyone else only moments ago.

Tears began to well in Rey’s eyes, wild and wide with panic.

“No…no, no, no, she can’t come yet. He’s not here…Ah!” Rey began to cry but her sentence was cut short by another sharp pang in her gut.

Leia continued her patient gaze.

“Labour isn’t a fast process honey and he’s arriving today,” She said soothingly, “He’ll make it. The important thing right now is to get you to the hospital,”

“I…I’m not ready, what if something’s wrong? What if she…”

“Shh,” Leia pacified, “I know you’re scared but I’m going to be with you the whole time until Ben arrives and so is Chewie okay, we’ve got you!”

Rey nodded reluctantly. The pain across her stomach wasn’t getting any less and she felt like she was being ripped in two. It suddenly occurred to her as she hung limply in Chewbacca’s arms that she hadn’t anticipated how her child was actually going to fit. Rey wasn’t small, standing five feet six or seven but she was slender in build. Ben, on the other hand, was a large man and as her body reflexed around her womb she was suddenly reminded that their daughter had half of his DNA.

As she was taken onto the hospital transport, Rey began to pray that they would have something that could make her numb from the neck down.

Leia turned to the Coruscant liaison.

“I need send an urgent message to the Supreme Leader of the First Order, for his eyes only, NOW!”

00000

Ben was pacing again.

Poe noticed it was a habit of Ben’s. When he was thinking, or planning, but especially when he was anxious. He watched with amusement as Ben paced back and forth on the bridge.

Bored of his room, he had finally convinced Ben to let him tag along with him, promising that he would be respectful.

“Tell people you’re showing around a Resistance rep as a show of good faith or something,” Poe had said.

While he received a lot of sideways glances for being there, Poe ignored them all and nobody dared say anything, not when it was well known he was now considered a guest of the supreme leader.

“You know, you’re going to create a trench in that expensive, polished deck,” Poe joked, “We’re only an hour away from dropping out of hyperspace, you’ll get down there, you two can have a big emotional reunion…it’ll be beautiful, I promise I’ll get very choked up,”

Ben stopped and glared at his friend, who only offered him a cheek filled grin in return.

Before Poe could continue to tease him, without warning Ben felt like all the air had been forced from his body. He gasped, recoiling back with a great shudder as the force hit him like a sledgehammer.

He sucked in a breath, trying to bring his erratic heartbeat to a regular rhythm again.

“Whoa, what the hell was that?” Poe asked, his hands hovering in front of him in case he had to catch the larger man.

“My office, now!” Ben rasped, walking as quickly as he could to the room with Poe quickly on his heels.

He felt it. Their bond wasn’t fully open, he couldn’t see her, but it was so raw he could practically hear her screaming. Rey. Rey was in pain and scared. Helpless, he stumbled to his console while Poe stood in confusion.

“What the kriffing hell is going on?” Poe cried.

“It’s the force…it’s Rey, I can feel her!” he said tersely, “Something’s wrong…”

Upon opening his console to try and contact Coruscant, he saw there was already an urgent message waiting for him, marked for his eyes only. Dread filled the pit of his stomach and he opened the message. A holo of his mother appeared in front of him which only exacerbated his fears.

“Ben, I hope this message reaches you in time,” She said, “We just landed on Coruscant and Rey’s gone into labor. She’s frantic that you’re not going to make it. Please, Son, please try and get here. I’ve sent you the details of the hospital she’s been taken to,”

Now he knew what was happening. Their bond, he could feel it. Rey was about to have their baby and he wasn’t with her.

Ben roared in frustration, slamming his fists against the desk as Poe watched on, feeling for his friend.

“Buddy, you gotta calm down! You’re not going to help her if you break both your hands…”

“How can I calm down?!” Ben shouted, pacing around the room like a wild, caged animal, his hands raking through his hair, “My daughter is going to be born and I’m not there! She’s alone and in pain and I can feel it, she’s terrified!”

 “I know, I know,” Poe said carefully, “But you’re not going to be any good to her like this, okay? You need to be the strong one here…”

“I’m getting my ship!” Ben said suddenly, “I’ll be faster in my TIE…”

He moved to stalk past Poe but the other man grabbed him by the shoulders, stumbling back slightly with the force of trying to stop a very determined and upset Ben Solo.

“What?! You’re going to disembark while we’re in hyperspace?” He questioned, “Be reasonable! Killing yourself trying to get there isn’t going to help anyone. We’re dropping out of hyperspace soon and then you can get straight in your ship and land ahead of us. Until then…I’m sorry, but there isn’t a lot you can do…”

Ben released a shuddered sigh. Poe was right, and he hated it. He threw himself down on the nearby chair, leaning forward with his head in his hands, trying to control his rampant emotions.

_Please Rey, I’m coming…_

00000

As soon as the transport arrived at the hospital, Rey had been changed into a white gown and immediately taken to a private room, Leia holding her hand the whole time and Chewbacca in tow, who stood ever vigilant outside the door of the room.

“Stars, this hurts!” Rey gasped, “Is it meant to hurt this much?!”

A doctor entered the room, checking his datapad as he did.

“Rey? I’m doctor Caplain,” He said kindly, “You’re still in the early stages of labor at the moment, you’re not dilated enough to start pushing just yet, so sit tight…I’ll be back to check on you within the hour,” Rey stared daggers at the doctor.

“That’s easy for you to say when you don’t have something the size of a melon trying to escape your body!” She snapped, and Leia had to keep herself from laughing as she hugged Rey’s head, giving her a kiss on her hair.

“You’ll get through this Rey, I promise. Just think of when she’s finally here!”

Nothing anyone could say felt comforting to her, not while the only person she really wanted there with her was maker knows where. Leia was doing her best, Rey knew that, but it wasn’t the same as having him there.

“He’s still not here…” Rey groaned, her hand holding her sore torso.

“There’s still time,” She winced, “I hate to say it honey, but you’ve got some time to go. Try and rest up, I’m going to go and inform the Republic representatives what’s going on,”

Try as she might, Rey couldn’t rest. Eyes closed, eyes open, on her back, on her side, there was no getting comfortable. She wanted his arms around her, squeezing her hand through every sporadic contraction that hit her.

The force was pulsing around her, but she couldn’t tell if it was the bond trying to open, her own fear trying to pull her out of balance or their daughter’s own signature stirring. The feelings of confusion mixed with another sharp contraction stopped her from realizing that Ben had materialized.

“Rey?!” he cried, directly rushing to her side and grabbing her hand.

“Where the kriffing hell are you?!” She panted, riding out the last of the cramping feeling and squeezing his hand for all it was worth.

If she was hurting him, he said nothing.

“I’m so close, I promise!” he swore, “Our ship will be dropping out of hyperspace any minute, I just need you to hold on a little bit longer…” Rey leveled him with a look.

“It’s not really up to me anymore, Ben…” She said, her head falling back onto her pillow in exhaustion, “She’s coming on her own terms whether we like it or not!”

Ben pressed a quick kiss to her temple, his own worry betraying him.

“I’m coming for you both as fast as I can, and soon I’ll have you both in my arms and I’m never letting you go,”

He felt like all he was making to her was promises. At least he knew these promises were ones he could keep but it was all he could do. He felt so helpless. What could he do when he wasn’t there?

“Well, until then, distract me…take my mind off things…”

Ben climbed onto the bed next to her, wrapping her in his arms.

“Who do you think she’ll look more like?” he asked, trying to change the subject.

Despite his tension, there was nothing he could do until his ship dropped out of hyperspace and she needed him more than he needed to pace his office. Rey. Rey came first.

“If the gods are kind she’ll look like you,” He said, lightly stroking Rey’s hair. Rey smiled despite the constant ache.

“Oh, I don’t know, I think she’d look adorable if she inherited your eyes…or your ears,” Rey joked, and Ben felt those ears burn. Rey giggled lightly.

“Don’t be like that, I love them,” she said, “I love everything about you!” Ben continued to blush.

“Well, never the less,” he said somewhat awkwardly, “I still think it would be better if she looked like you,”

“Where are we going to live?” Rey asked next.

Ben was about to answer when another contraction forced her forward with a growl, her hand clamping down on Ben’s, crushing his fingers. He rubbed her back soothingly, letting her ride out the pain until she relaxed again.

“I was thinking Coruscant,” he said, “It makes the most sense. The new government will be based here eventually, and we’ll be working here for some time to get things up and running,”

“Your mother had a house here,”

“I know, and it’s beautiful, but I was thinking we would have a home of our own,” he said. Rey sighed happily at the thought.

“That’s all I’ve wanted for the longest time…” she drawled, “What else?”

“What else do you want?” he asked.

Tears sprang in Rey’s eyes and he worried that he had said something wrong. She looked up at him with her watery, hazel eyes, looking so small and lost.

“You. I want you here,” Ben sighed, his heartbreaking for her.

He pulled her closer to his chest, trying to take comfort in having even the ghost of her in his arms and not focusing on the constant feeling of pain that radiated through the bond.

“Soon,” he sighed against her hair, “I’ll be there soon,”

00000

As soon as Ben was given the word that the ship was leaving hyperspace he was sprinting through the halls to get to the hanger and his TIE Silencer. Vaguely he had heard Poe shout after him that he would send word ahead to Coruscant control that the supreme leader was on his way.

He didn’t care about the strange looks he was receiving and more than once he had almost smashed headfirst into stormtroopers on patrol.

The ship was fired up and leaving the hanger before he even had clearance to disembark. He shot out of the hanger as fast as the ship could take him, everything in his peripheral vision blurring as it picked up speed.

Even after the connection had closed, Ben could still feel her through the bond. Her pain was only increasing, and it was driving him frantic, but he had to keep his wits about him. Panicking wasn’t going to do any good.

His ship descended on the planet in record time. He knew he was flying recklessly, the ship barely slowing in time to make a safe landing at the port, some dock hands having to run out of the way before the ship crushed them. Ben ignored the shouts and screams of the irate men and women who were trying to tell him he couldn’t leave his ship just haphazardly in that state.

It must have been quite a sight, he pondered, the supreme leader of the First Order, normally seen in immaculate black clothing and long intimidating coats, sprinting through Coruscant as fast as he could, wearing only his boots, trousers and a black mandarin collared shirt.

The holonet would be lit up by tomorrow morning.

He was breathing hard by the time he reached the hospital entrance, but he could feel her, she was close to him, he could feel it.

“Oh maker, it’s you…”

A strangled, high pitched voice pulled him from his own frantic thoughts as Rose stood motionless among a few other people he recognized as Resistance. She was open-mouthed, her eyes wide taking in his appearance. He was sweaty, his hair a complete mess, his dark eyes flashing.

“Rey…where is Rey?!” he demanded.

The girl would have questions, he knew, but they would deal with it when time wasn’t so precious.

“Um…floor twenty…room fifteen…” She stammered, her voice laced with confusion and concern.

Ben turned to look at the elevators. The building was huge and busy and no matter who he was there was no way he would get straight onto one of the lifts.

With a huffing scowl, he continued his run towards the stairs.

00000

“Okay, Rey…I need you to push for me!”

Her whole body felt like it was being torn from the inside out. She was flushed all over and covered in sweat from the strain. Leia was there, holding onto her hand as she had promised she would. Rey shook her head violently.

“No, no…it’s not time, he’s not here yet…I can’t…”

“There’s no time left, you need to push now…” the doctor continued.

Tears streamed down the young girl’s face, her hair sticking to her forehead in small curls. Gods, Leia hadn’t been lying when she said it was going to be painful. Now Rey realized why most women shouted abuse at their partners.

A guttural shout erupted from her throat as she pushed for the first time, using all the strength she could gather.

Sounds were muffled, blending into one but she could just about hear the doctor telling her that the head was out, and she had to push again. She tried, but her body was so exhausted she didn’t feel like she had anything left to give.

From beyond the door, she vaguely thought she heard Chewbacca roar and without much more warning the door burst opened so hard it cracked against the wall and a very disheveled Ben was suddenly in the room with them.

She wanted to say that she loved him, how elated she was that he had made it just in time. What she actually screamed was something far different as he ran to her side so quickly, Leia had to jump out of the way.

“WHERE IN THE MAKERS DAMN KRIFFING NAME HAVE YOU BEEN?!”

Ben was hardly an expert in labor, but he knew better than to make any excuses at that moment. His right hand grasped hers tightly, his left arm wrapping around her head, kissing her soundly on the forehead. She leaned back against him, growling in pain.

“I’m here, I’ve got you, I love you,” He said firmly against her as her head turned into his chest, her eyes screwed tight.

“She’s almost here, I’m going to need you to push again,”

Weakly Rey shook her head and Ben held her fast as she went practically limp against him. Ben had only thought he had felt helpless when he was still on board the ship, but nothing compared to having her there physically in his arms, crying in pain and him physically unable to stop it.

“I can’t,” She sobbed, “I can’t do this…please don’t make me…”

“You can, Rey, you can. You’re the strongest person I know, I’m right here with you…I’m never leaving you again. Just one more okay?” Ben crooned against her temple, peppering her head with light kisses as he did.

The sound that ripped from her throat was nothing short of feral as she gave every effort she had, crushing Ben’s hand as hard as she could to try and ease the pain she was in.

Then they heard it. The most beautiful sound in the whole galaxy to him. A shrill cry rang through the room as their daughter took her first breath and Rey slumped back against him and the pillows of the bed, her work finally done.

“Congratulations, you’ve got a healthy baby girl!” The doctor announced.

Ben watched, dumbstruck, as the tiny minutes' old person was taken and wrapped in a blanket. He hadn’t even noticed the tears slipping down his face.

“Is she alright?” Rey asked, breathless and exhausted.

“She’s perfect,” He breathed.

Her arms only just held enough strength to accept their newly born child and Rey cradled her against her chest, Ben sitting on the side of the bed following her gaze in wonder.

She was so tiny in comparison to even his hand as he reached to stroke her soft cheek and he knew he never looked at something so precious. His daughter had stilled her confused cries and blinked up at him with impossibly dark, unfocused eyes and on her head, already was a small crop of black hair. He felt Rey’s head tilt to look up at him, her eyes still bleary and tired, and he bent down to kiss her gently.

“Thank you,” He whispered against her mouth, “Thank you, thank you,”

She sighed against him, a dozy smile on her face and her hand reached up to stroke his cheek.

“We missed you,” she whispered, and he kissed her again in response.

From the side of the room, Leia cleared her throat, wiping her eyes free of her own tears.

“We need a name for this little one,” She said softly.

Rey looked back down at her little girl, lying soundly and safely in her arms under the watchful eye of her mother and father.

“Hope,” Rey replied, “Her name is Hope,”

The three sat in awed silence, simply taking in a new life that Rey had brought into the world until there was a knock at the door. Leia called for whoever it was to enter, and Rose appeared.

“I’m so sorry to interrupt. I know you can’t have visitors yet…but the Coruscant council representatives have just got in touch and want to speak to you…do you know anything about an abandoned TIE fighter?”

“Ah…”


	18. Chapter 18

Shortly after Hope had been born, Rey had been moved to a private recovery room on the same floor. Finally, she had been allowed pain medication and soon she felt her eyes growing heavy.

“You should try and get some sleep,” Ben said softly.

She was already starting to drift away as he stroked her still sweaty hair.

“I might miss something,” She said, her words slurred with exhaustion, “I only just found you again…and Hope…”

“Is sleeping,” he confirmed with a smile, his eyes looking over to the crib his daughter was resting in, “So you…”

When Ben turned back to look at Rey she was already sleeping peacefully against her pillow.

“Should get some rest,” he finished in a whisper, smiling fondly at his love.

He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead and left her to sleep. Slowly he wandered over to Hope. He couldn’t stare at her enough. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and it still stunned him that this was his life now.

His girls.

“Careful now. You know you should never wake a sleeping baby,” Leia whispered from behind him.

He hadn’t even noticed his mother come into the room.

“I wasn’t waking her,” he said, a little indignantly, “I was just…looking at her,” Leia walked up to join him, looking down at her granddaughter with a soft smile.

“She’s so beautiful, Ben,” She said, “and I can’t explain how good it is to see you again…I know we already spoke, but I couldn’t be sure until I saw you with my own eyes…”

Ben turned to look at his mother, a spike of guilt hitting him in the gut. She had tears in her eyes again and he hated that it was because of him. Without a second thought, he pulled the smaller woman into a hug.

“I’m so sorry, Mother,” He said, sincerely, “I…I don’t know I can ever make amends…”

“Enough now,” she sighed, hugging him back fiercely, “You’ve already started…and now we have this beautiful little girl to think about. You’ve got a family to look after,”

“I know,” He said, reaching out to stroke his daughters head as she began to fidget, her tiny arms waving. Under her father’s touch, she stilled in contentment.

“You also need to look after yourself…you look exhausted,” she commented but Ben waved it off.

“I’m fine…”

Leia had a point. The adrenaline of trying to get to Rey’s side had left his system and he could feel himself flagging.

“Still, you could do with a wash and a change of clothes,” Leia said with a smirk, “Unless you like the disheveled look…”

Ben looked down at himself and his clothes. His shirt was half untucked from his run and crushed all over, his braces hanging over his hips having been thrown down from his shoulders. His nose wrinkled. Maybe Leia had a point.

“What if Rey wakes up?” He said, and Leia smiled at his concern.

“She’s perfectly safe here and wouldn’t want you to put yourself out. You know the home isn’t far from here. Go, freshen up and then get back here,”

Reluctantly Ben nodded, kissing his mother on the forehead, and with one last fond look at his daughter, he moved to leave the room.

He walked backward from the room, taking in Rey sleeping peacefully and his mother fawning over her newborn grandchild. If you had told him a year ago that he would be the Supreme Leader and forcing the First Order into peace talks, that the so-called ‘Jedi killer’ would have fallen in love and fathered a child with the ‘Last Jedi’, he would have laughed in your face.

But stranger things had happened.

The door slid shut but before Ben could turn around he found his back met something very solid. And furry. The object growled.

Steeling himself, Ben slowly turned around, finding himself face to face with Chewbacca. If there was a place he didn’t want to have this confrontation, it was the hallway of a hospital, but Ben had always found that fate didn’t care much for the whims of men.

“Chewie…” he breathed carefully. The wookie stared down at him uncomprehendingly and Ben felt at a loss of what to say.

Next thing he knew, Ben was staring up at Chewbacca from the floor, holding his throbbing jaw, his head spinning.

Chewbacca roared and growled above him, Ben’s chest constricting at his words. He wasn’t sure if he was awake enough to really have this conversation and he wondered if the wookie had given him a concussion, but he knew that he hadn’t meant to really hurt him. If he had swung full strength, Ben would have been knocked out.

“I know he loved me,” Ben said quietly, from his place on the floor. He wiped his mouth noticing he was bleeding, “There isn’t a day goes by that I don’t regret what I did,”

The creature continued, Ben just lying there listening and translating. Ben frowned.

“Don’t you dare! What happened was between me and Rey…” Chewbacca cut him off.

“I…I suppose she did tell you everything,” Ben mumbled, “but I’m here. I’m not going anywhere,”

They stayed in silence, staring each other down until Chewbacca offered his hand to Ben who took it and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. His legs were still shaking. Chewbacca was the first to break the silence.

“She’s perfect,” he said proudly, “And Rey is great, she’s sleeping now. You can go in and see her in a little while,”

Then Chewbacca did something so unexpected that it drove all the air from Ben’s body. He grabbed the man in a crushing hug, pulling him against his furry chest. Instantly, Ben’s mind was flooded with memories of being a child. He saw himself being put to bed by the large creature, being carried around on his great shoulders on distant planets so he could see more of the strange and new places his father had taken him to and above all, the comforting hug he would always receive when he was alone and frightened, listening to his parents fighting about him.

Unbidden, tears welled in Ben’s eyes and he couldn’t fight the sobs that made his body shake.

“I’m sorry, Chewie, I’m so sorry…for everything,” He cried.

Patiently, Chewbacca stood holding him, patting his back in comfort until Ben pulled away, inhaling deeply to steady his shaky nerves. He wiped his face quickly as Chewbacca spoke again. Another forgiveness he wasn’t sure he deserved.

“Thank you,” he whispered, “I’ll take care of her. I’ll take care of them both,”

00000

Rey woke with a jump.

She wasn’t sure how long she had been sleeping for, but her head was foggy, and she could sense there was someone in the room with her.

“Shh, hey, it’s only me!”

She smiled in relief, grinning at the voice and the person it belonged to. Poe was standing looking over Hope in her crib, turning to Rey with a huge, bright smile.

“She’s gorgeous Rey,” he gushed, “which is surprising considering where half her genes have come from,” Rey laughed softly at her friend and he walked over to her bedside.

“How long have I been asleep for?” She asked.

“A few hours at least. Ben’s gone to wash and change, Leia’s just dealing with some politicians and as for me…well, I just hit the first about an hour ago and wanted to come and see you!”

“So, it’s Ben now and not Kylo?” Rey asked, and Poe nodded with a smile.

“Yeah…there’s still some stuff there to work on and I know it might take awhile but I meant what I said. He’s not the same as he was, he’s…he’s lighter,” Poe said simply.

“I can’t believe he made it in time…” Poe huffed a laugh.

“You’re telling me…jeez, you should have seen him on the ship. I’ve never seen a man so tense! I had to stop him jumping in his TIE and leaving in hyperspace…not to mention when I got there I had to deal with said TIE being abandoned in the middle of a spaceport…”

Hope began to stir, her soft gurgling pulling Rey’s attention and she began to cry quietly.

“Do you want me to…” Rey nodded, and Poe walked over to the crib, gently picking up the baby girl and handing her to Rey.

She adjusted her daughter in her arms, holding her gently against her chest.

“She looks just like him…” Rey marveled, playing with a little of her soft baby hair. Poe nodded.

“With a little bit of you in there…she’s got your nose…and I’m sure she’ll grow into those ears,” Poe joked, and Rey swatted him on the arm, giggling.

“Her ears are not that big, how dare you!” she laughed, “Oh Poe, it’s so good to see you again! I’ve missed you,”

“I’ve missed you too,” he said, leaning over to hug her gently while avoiding crushing Hope.

Poe stood back and watched Rey gazing down at her child softly, her hand playing with Hope’s tiny fingers. She was glowing, so much love in her eyes that Poe couldn’t have imagined things working any other way.

“I never stood a chance, did I?” He said softly.

Rey tore her eyes away from her child and looked up at Poe apologetically.

“I’m sorry Poe, I wish I could have told you the truth,” she sighed, “I wish I could have done a lot of things differently…”

“Hey, it’s alright,” he said, “Who was I to stand in the way of the force? I always thought that things have a way of working exactly the way they’re meant to. This whole thing, the force or whatever, brought Ben back and now you guys have this amazing little bundle. That’s incredible!”

Rey began to feel herself tear up. She wanted to laugh at herself. She felt like all she had done over the past year was cry and she was so ready to look forward to happier times. On this occasion, given that she had just given birth, she was willing to blame the hormones.

“I know! I can hardly believe it myself…I never thought I’d be a mother, at least not so soon, but when I look at her…everything feels right,” She sighed happily.

“So, what’s the plan now?”

“I don’t really know,” Rey said honestly, “Leia has a place here, but I think Ben and I are going to get a home of our own here. It’s going to take some time for these talks to get hammered out. It makes sense for Ben to be here full time,”

“It does,” Poe agreed, “but are you sure you don’t want to go back to Hoth? I thought you loved the snow!”

The scowl Rey gave him was enough to keep Poe chuckling to himself for the rest of the day.

00000

Memories came thick and fast to Ben as he opened the door to the Organa penthouse. He hadn’t been here since he was in his early teens.

It was exactly as he remembered it. The large, spacious hallway leads straight into a formal sitting area with rich furnishings. Floor to ceiling windows allowed the sunlight to stream through uninterrupted, shining on the marble floors and the pale walls. Ahead of the sitting room was double doors to a huge balcony with views over the Coruscant skyline.

He wandered through the hall, almost dripping over the housekeeping droid who gave him an indignant high-pitched beep. This was the kind of home he wanted for his family, albeit, decorated in a far less lavish way. He sniggered to himself, ever the Princess.

Sucking in a breath, he found the room he had been looking for. It was exactly as he had left it so many years ago. It was obvious it had been kept clean and dust free, but all his belongings remained. On his old desk, scrolls, pens, and books remained, a page still lying open from where he had clearly been practicing script. He let out a heavy sigh, sitting down on his old bed.

“Well now, look at you,”

That voice.

Ben’s jaw immediately clenched, looking up from the floor to see the ghost of the man that was once Luke Skywalker.

“Luke…” Ben said, his voice hard and unrelenting.

“It’s good to see you again, Ben,” Luke said, standing serenely bathed in a blue glow. Ben scoffed.

“Is it? Last time you saw me we weren’t exactly on good terms,” He said tightly.

“I was hoping those terms had changed…”

“Why would they have?!” Ben snapped quickly, “Just because I’ve begun to heal things with my mother doesn’t mean that I want to talk with you!”

“Ah, I see. So, you’re planning on holding a grudge against me for the rest of your life?” Ben sneered.

“That would imply that I would be thinking of you at all!” He sneered.

Luke only smirked, and it did nothing but annoy Ben further.

“We both know that’s not true,” He drawled, “As soon as your daughter starts needing to be trained those memories are going to start flooding back…”

“SHUT UP!” Ben shouted, standing up and stalking towards Luke, “Don’t you dare speak about her, you don’t have the right!”

Luke, even though he knew Ben couldn’t physically hurt him, held up his hands and backed away.

“Alright, alright…I’m sorry,” he said carefully, “But you know that I am right. I meant what I said, I failed you Ben and I’m sorry for that,”

“and as I said, I’m sure you are…” Ben said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

“I am. I really am, I gave up on you before I’d even stopped to consider there was another way. I let my own fears get in the way of my judgment…I put my own blind belief before my own flesh and blood. I can see that now,”

“Well, how lovely that you’ve realized that,” his tone was dry, but it didn’t seem to bother Luke, “You just don’t understand…”

“Then MAKE me understand Ben,” he beseeched, “I’m here now and I want to listen to you…Please?”

Where was this man when he was growing up? Where was THIS Luke Skywalker when Han was nowhere to be seen when he needed someone who could help him make sense of what was happening to him? Now, after all this time, Luke wanted to hear his side of the story.

“I don’t want to be away from Rey too long,” Ben said, his resolve crumbling.

“She’s fine, they both are,” Luke said, “Please Ben, start at the beginning,”

He did.

Beginning from when he was a child, he explained to Luke how his first memories weren’t from his parents but Snoke’s voice in his head. At first, the voice had frightened him, and he had wanted to tell his parents, but they always seemed so busy and when they finally did have time for him, those rare days off his mother had when she took time to do things with him…well, he hadn’t wanted spoil things.

As he grew older and as his powers grew, he became increasingly isolated from his parents. They were afraid of him, but that voice, that voice was always there. Always supportive.

“Of course, now I know why,” Ben said bitterly.

Luke simply stood there, and Ben was trying to read his face. He wasn’t angry, or disgusted. He simply looked sad.

“and I was the final tipping point,” Luke sighed sadly, “You know, Rey told me that my mistake was thinking that you had already decided your path…She was right,”

“Rey?”

“Oh yes!” Luke laughed, “After she learned the truth she really let me have it, and I don’t just mean verbally…for her size, that girl hits like a wampa!”

Ben smirked and suddenly felt warmth knowing that Rey fought for him even before she came to him on the Supremacy.

“She does,” he said lightly, remembering their own fight so long ago.

“I’m sure she was falling for you before she even realized it,” Luke commented, “And now you’re both parents. The force doesn’t mess around when it wants something!” He sighed, the smile falling from his face and Ben sat back down on the bed.

“I don’t expect you to believe me, but I am proud of you,” Luke said, “I’ve been watching. I’ve seen how you’ve changed…”

“It was for her,” Ben said quietly, “For them,” Luke smiled.

“and speaking of, I imagine you’re anxious to get back to them. I’ll leave you now,” He said, “But just know, we’re all watching…”

“Comforting,” Ben said sarcastically but when he looked up from the floor his uncle was gone.

Ben sighed in annoyance. Did the bastard always have to be so enigmatic? He was right, Ben was anxious to get back to his girls, but first, he had to clean himself up.

00000

Hope was just as wriggly and active as Rey had suspected she would be.

She lay on Rey’s bed as Rey lay on her side, playing with her daughter who stared up at her with her wide dark eyes, her little arms waving in the air. Rey grinned down at her. She was feeling much better since a nurse droid had given her time to wash up and change into fresh clothes.

“Is this a bad time?” an impossibly quiet voice asked from the doorway.

Rey looked up to see Rose standing there, a timid, unsure smile on her face. Rey nodded and waved her in.

“Maker, she’s so tiny!” Rose gasped, approaching the bed where Hope lay next to her mother, “How are you feeling?”

“Better now I’ve had a good rest and a wash,” Rey replied, her soft eyes still enraptured by her daughter.

Rose watched them quietly and while her heart soared for her friend, something was bothering her. Her eyes narrowed, zoning in on the baby’s features. Those eyes, her dark hair, she had seen them before.

“Oh Gods…He…he’s the father…”

Rey’s head snapped up from Hope to look at Rose and the shock was written all over her face. She was trembling, and Rey could see so many emotions flickering over her face at once.

“Rose…”

“Is it true? Is Kylo Ren Hope’s father?” She demanded although she didn’t sound angry. Only confused.

“I can explain…”

“How?!” Rose exclaimed suddenly, “How can you explain that?! Did you betray us?”

“No! I never betrayed the Resistance, not once!” Rey fired back, “Rose, it’s so much more complicated…I love him…”

“Then explain it to me!” Rose snapped, “Explain it to me, Rey!”

Hope’s distressed cry began, agitated by the loud noises around her that she didn’t understand and immediately sat up, pulling her daughter into her arms and soothing her. Only once Hope had stopped did Rey begin to speak, Rose standing to stare at her unrelenting the whole time.

“I can’t go into the whole story again. Not again, but we’re bonded through the force and through that I learned to see past what he was pretending to be. I saw Ben Solo and I fell in love with him...”

“But the things he’s done…” Rose began but Rey cut her off.

“I’m not denying any of them!” Rey hissed, “I know and more importantly, he knows but he’s changing Rose, he’s the one who stopped the war…”

“I suppose,” Rose said carefully.

“I know it’s a shock…that I should have told you, but you must see how difficult it was, how could I tell you? After everything you’ve lost…”

“Don’t,” Rose sighed, “I can’t…I can’t think about that anymore. It’s too painful,” Rey nodded awkwardly.

“Please don’t hate me, Rose,” Rey begged, “and please don’t hold it against Hope,” Rose sighed.

“I could never do that…but, this is going to take a bit of getting used to,”

“He’s changed Rose, you’ll see,” Rey promised.

“I’ll try…but aren’t you worried about what other people might think? What they might do?” Rey paled.

“What do you mean?”

“Rey, come on, you know that even with the First Order and the Resistance coming together to make peace, Ky…I mean, Ben, has made a lot of enemies just by who he represents. Not everyone is going to be so quick to make peace and if they found out he has a daughter…”

“Stop!” Rey cracked, “Please…”

“I’m sorry, I’m just being honest. You know that” Rose said, “But…I’m sure nothing will happen. Hope has you, and…Ben, and Leia and everyone else,”

Rose’s words stung. Rey knew they were true. It had been something she had been worried about since she found out she was carrying Ben’s child but hearing it said out loud hurt more than Rey expected.

Rose excused herself, telling Rey she needed to go and process things. The engineer had taken the truth better than Rey had expected but it still made her feel sad to see the hurt in her friend’s eyes as she learned the truth. She supposed she would need to deal with more of that down the line.

She held her daughter close to her, taking comfort in feeling her in her arms.

“Hope,” Rey whispered, “You, your father, you’re both all that matters now. I won’t let anyone touch you I promise,”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word of warning, perhaps not so much for this chapter but for future chapters, Finn goes very dark. Very dark and very OOC and I understand if that's not people's thing at all. 
> 
> Don't say I didn't warn you.

Ben smoothed his coat and fixed his gloves for what felt like the hundredth time in the space of ten minutes.

He was walking towards the master boardroom in the building that the remaining New Republic had adopted as their temporary base on Coruscant and the room where the First Order and the Resistance would be hammering out their peace talks.

Rey and Hope had been allowed to go home from the hospital a few days prior. They were currently living in the Organa penthouse, Leia and Ben sending word ahead to have one of the guest bedrooms turned into a nursery. He smiled fondly to himself, thinking of how Rey’s eyes lit up when she saw the place for the first time, handing him Hope and running from room to room in excitement. It was perfect for now, but he hoped they would have a home of their own soon.

“Still wearing black I see,”

Leia approached him, other Resistance officers and delegates trailing behind her and greeting his own delegates politely. He gave her a friendly smile. Her hair was pulled into an elaborately braided updo and she was wearing a simple white dress that was cut into hard angles, accented with silver jewelry. The Alderaan crest was pinned to her chest, a silver, and mother of pearl pin that shined in the light. She looked positively regal.

“What can I say, old habits die hard,” he commented.

In an expression that was so motherly, she reached up and brushed the invisible dust off his shoulder. He wanted to be annoyed, remembering that he was a leader and she was treating him like he was still a child, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell her to stop. He wondered if deep down he secretly enjoyed once again having his mother fussing over him.

“Are you ready for today?” She asked. Ben nodded.

“I am. It feels good to finally start doing something proactive,” he said, and Leia smiled at him proudly until a look of concern ghosted her face, “You look a little tired. Did you sleep?”

Ben rubbed his face. While Hope was generally a good sleeper, she had been awake a few times during the night and Ben, knowing that Rey would be home with her during the day, hadn’t wanted her disturbed so like the doting father he was quickly becoming, he had been the one to get out of bed during the night each time.

“I’m fine,” he assured, “Hope was a little restless last night and I wanted Rey to sleep,”

“Welcome to the joys of parenting,” Leia jibed, and Ben shot her a look from his tired eyes.

Ben suddenly felt a hand clap him on the back and he was met with Poe’s smiling face.

“Ooft, Fatherhood really seems to be suiting you. Loving the dark circles, they match your coat,” Poe jested with a grin. Ben rolled his eyes.

“Polite as ever,” Ben drawled, “I didn’t know you’d be joining us?” Poe nodded.

“Wouldn’t miss this for the world!”

“Ladies and gentlemen, if you would please enter the hall and take your seats,” an attendant announced, pulling the large double doors to the room open.

There was no table in the room, Ben noticed, a ring of seats in a sunken circle on the floor, each seat with a side console for notes. The room was the same color as most of the other buildings, light and airy in shades of pale mauves, peach and taupe and floor to ceiling windows allowed the daylight to stream in and showed the Coruscant skyline.

The delegates from both parties took their seats, the chair of the meeting sitting at a pulpit above the sunken circle. He banged his gavel, bringing the hushed murmur to a halt.

“Delegates, if you are all ready to begin?” Everyone in the room nodded in agreement, “The chair recognizes Supreme Leader of the First Order, Kylo Ren,”

Ben winced at the name. It used to be his identity, the thing that he clung to when he desperately wanted to stay in the dark while the light pulled at him. That wasn’t who he was anymore. Ben cleared his throat.

“Before I get started, I would like to make an official amendment to the records. From this point onwards, I am to be known and recorded by my birth name, Ben Solo,” He said, his voice firm and clear.

“The chair recognizes the name change,”

He couldn’t remember the last time he had seen so much pride on his mother’s face.

00000

“You can’t be serious?!”

“Of course, we are, why wouldn’t we be? The cease-fire is all well and good for now, but an immediate disbanding of First Order military forces will convince people that you’re not about to start back peddling,”

“How dare you question…”

“After everything the First Order has done, you expect the galaxy to simply accept that you’ve turned a new leaf? Forgiveness has to be earned!”

“What about the Resistance? Just in the past year, their fleet and military forces have grown almost as large as the First Order! Why should we have to give up our forces while they retain theirs, that is hardly a fair compromise!”

Ben sat with his head leaning on his hand. They were into hour two of the peace talks and his head was throbbing. He cleared his throat, standing up to quieten the bickering representatives.

“Enough! I was once told, not too long ago in fact, that forgiveness is not something that is earned. It is an act of compassion that is given because it’s needed and right now, the galaxy needs a little more compassion,” He said strongly, “The First Order will acquiesce to relinquish a certain number of our non-essential forces provided that the Resistance agrees to do the same. We will not stand for double standards,”

00000

“No! Pulling out of those planets would put thousands into unemployment, those mining planets would be in ruins!”

“Most of those planets didn’t want to be under First Order control in the first place. They were taken by force…”

“Never the less, you can’t deny that the structure we have put in place had brought a proper balance to the economy of those planets,”

“Using slave labor…And don’t try to deny it!”

“The Resistance has no proof! The First Order abhors all forms of slavery and has always held that stance in our manifesto!”

00000

“Another Senate is something I cannot agree to!” Ben argued, “it doesn’t work, and you know it doesn’t!”

“but how are we going to ensure democracy, that all people are represented!” Leia fired back. Ben scowled.

“The Senate did not require a senator to be elected by the people, you cannot tell me that you believe that was truly a democracy?!”

“So, what do you propose instead?”

“A system where the people get to choose, truly get to choose who they want to represent them…”

“A new Senate can achieve that…”

Ben huffs running his hands through his hair. He knew that his mother and himself fundamentally agreed on how things should be but the method of achievement, well he now saw that may take longer to figure out.

With a sigh, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander to Rey and Hope while another of his representatives took over.

00000

“Chewie, you know you can put her in her crib to sleep if your arms are getting tired?” Rey commented.

They were sitting in the living area of Leia’s home, the early afternoon sun shining through the windows and illuminating the room.  Rey had been stretching on the floor, pulling her body into various positions to work out the knots and kinks in her body. Now that Hope was in the world, Rey wanted to get herself back into fighting shape. Not that she planned to fight anyone, but it was how she had been raised, to survive.

Hope lay sleeping soundly in the wookies warm, furry arms. Chewbacca shook his head, growling a whisper that he was fine.

“Okay, well don’t say I didn’t warn you, and if she doesn’t want to sleep anywhere else then I’m blaming you!”

She finished stretching and called her lightsaber to her from the side of the room, smiling as the weapon entered her hand. It felt like months since she had picked it up properly.

“Keep her back, Chewie,” Rey commanded gently, bringing the lightsaber to life.

Slowly at first, she began to move through her saber forms, gaining confidence with each repetition. It felt so good to be able to practice without a baby bump getting in her way. She felt powerful again, strong and the force was flowing through her, making her senses tingle.

The light-colored blades radiated light around the room, making patterns dance on the walls. It wasn’t until she heard her daughters laugh, tinkling like a bell in the air, that she realized she was awake. Rey turned the lightsaber off and put it down.

“Hello darling girl!” she cooed, lifting her from Chewbacca’s arms, “Did you feel mommy playing with the force? Just you wait until your old enough, your father is going to teach you all kinds of fun tricks!”

Suddenly the door sounded, making Rey whirl around, still holding hope in her arms. She smiled in relief seeing Rose walk through the door.

“Hey, I hope you don’t mind, the door was open, and I got this address from Poe,” Rose said timidly. Rey just continued to smile broadly.

“Not at all! I’m glad to see you, I…I didn’t think I would, not for a while anyway,” Rey admitted, and she gestured to one of the soft padded chairs for Rose to join her in sitting.

“Well, I wasn’t sure I was going to be around much either but I’ve been doing some thinking,” Rose started quietly, “I know I said I needed some time but I spoke to Poe last night and I realized something,”

“Which is?”

“My Mother used to say that hate only breeds more hate, and I once said to Finn that we would win this war not by killing what we hated but by saving what we loved…and you love Ben…and it’s more than obvious that he loves you,” She said, smiling bashfully.

“Is it that obvious?”

“Clearly you haven’t looked at the holonet recently!” Rose laughed, “There images all over of Ben literally sprinting through Coruscant to get to the hospital. I was the one who told him where your room was…it was quite a sight!” Rey blushed, bouncing Hope in her arms.

“No wonder you realized he was the father…”

“Well, that and she’s his double. Seriously, look at her! Same eyes, hair, mouth…” Rose sighed, “Anyway, I came here because I don’t want things to be weird between us and I guess if Leia and Poe can forgive him…then I can too,”

Rey leaned forward, grabbing her friend in as close a hug as she could manage with a baby in her arms.

“Thank you, Rose, you don’t know what that means to me…”

“Doesn’t mean I’m going to be, y’know, great around him…you know what I’m like with new people,” the girl laughed awkwardly.

Rey knew all too well, she had heard from Finn how he and Rose had first met. The smile suddenly fell on Rose’s face.

“That’s not the only reason I’m here,” She said, “Have you heard from or seen Finn at all?”

Rey shook her head. She hadn’t seen or heard from Finn since before they left Dantooine. She had hoped that he would have come to visit her once the baby had been born, but instead, he had just further isolated himself.

“It’s just…I haven’t seen him since we landed, and I’m worried about him. He’s not taken the idea of peace well at all, he still has so much anger and resentment towards the First Order…I’m worried he might do something stupid…” Rey reached out and held the girl's hand.

“I’m sure everything will be fine…he just needs time to adjust to things. It’s all happened very fast, but I’m sure he’ll come around,”

Rose could only reply with a tight, worried smile and Rey hoped that she hadn’t just lied to the small engineer.

00000

Ben was exhausted.

The day had been full of bickering, grown men and women sometimes acting like children rather than the professional politicians they were meant to be, but there had been points that Ben was proud of too.

He had managed to go a full day without losing his temper, not once did he raise his voice to a shout, even when he really wanted to, and Maker, sometimes he had really wanted to. Now he was standing with Poe in the large kitchen of his mother’s home, searching through the liquor cabinet.

“Kinda feels like old times,” Poe quipped, “Remember when we were 13 and we stole that bottle of Palaven Ice brandy and drank the whole thing between us?”

“You stole it you mean…” Ben shot back with a smirk which Poe returned.

“I may have stolen it, but it didn’t take much convincing to get you to drink it” He laughed, “Man we were so sick. My Dad kicked my butt so hard I couldn’t sit down for a weak!”

Ben took out two glasses, pouring a strong, dark liquid into each of them.

“The good stuff,” Poe said inspecting the drink, “Leia always did know what she liked,”

“I thought after today we could both use a drink,” Ben said lifting the glass, “Cheers,” Poe clinked his glass against Ben’s.

“Cheers. I’m glad we’re taking a day off between talks, I’d go crazy if we had to do that day in day out,” Ben nodded in agreement. The way he was feeling at that moment, he couldn’t imagine getting up again in less than six hours’ time to start all over again.

“Agreed, besides, there are some things I’d like to take care of…some personal things,”

“like?”

“Don’t you know the meaning of the word personal?” Ben huffed. Poe shrugged, sipping his drink.

“I think we’re way past that now buddy,” Poe jested, “Come on, tell your old pal Poe what’s going on. I’m assuming it’s got something to do with Rey?”

Ben put his glass down on the grey marble counter, turning his head to look around himself, making sure that it was just him and Poe. He reached into the inner breast pocket of his long black coat and pulled out a small box. Inside the box was a ring made of fine filigree silver, holding an oval cut iridescent gem. Poe peered closer at the ring. Inside the jewel was moving in such a way, it almost seemed like it held trapped smoke or liquid.

“I’m normally more of a gold wearing girl myself,” Poe laughed, “Does this mean what I think it means? Are you going to ask Rey to marry you?!” Ben shuffled uncomfortably.

“Perhaps, there’s still a lot we’ve not discussed yet…I don’t want to rush her,”

“Oh, totally, I know when I have a baby with a woman it would seem like the logical point to slow things down…” Ben rolled his eyes, snapping the box closed.

“You’re not funny…”

“And you’re being an idiot again. You have a beautiful baby girl and a woman that loves you. Marry. Her!” Poe exclaimed picking up the box from the table and waving it in Ben’s unimpressed face.

“Hey, what are you guys talking about?”

“AH!”

Rey’s sleep-addled voice interrupted the two men, so engrossed in their conversation that they didn’t notice her padding silently on bare feet towards the kitchen. Poe jumped so suddenly that he almost dropped the tiny box, fumbling with it in his hands until he caught it again and shoved it into his jacket pocket.

“Nothing, my love, did we wake you?” Ben said softly, clearly better at keeping his composure under pressure than his friend, as Poe stood tense, still breathing hard.

“Not really, I was just coming to get some water. Hope is down, she’s been sleeping soundly since early evening,” Rey said with a smile, brushing past the two men towards the fridge and pulling a bottle out, “Are you alright Poe, you look awfully…tense?”

“Oh, um, yeah! I’m fine, just tired!” Poe answered shortly, a forced smile on his face. Rey raised an eyebrow but decided not to question him again. He’d clearly had a long day.

She turned back to Ben, standing on the tips of her toes to kiss him sweetly.

“I’ll see you when you come to bed…which I hope is very soon,” Ben smiled at her with soft eyes.

“Just let us finish this nightcap and I’ll be right through,” He watched as she padded back down the hall, waiting until she was out of sight before he turned back to Poe with an incredulous face.

“How did you ever make it to the rank of Captain?” He asked, his hand outstretched to receive the ring box back. Poe had the good grace to look sheepish.

“Alright, alright, I panicked okay!?” He picked up his glass again and downed the contents, hissing at the burn in his throat.

“Well, I’ll be leaving you too it. Thanks for the drink,”

“Anytime,”

Ben opened the ring box one more time, checking the contents and allowing himself to imagine what the ring would look like on Rey’s finger.

00000

He swallowed back another gulp of his drink, letting the amber liquid burn his throat as it went down neat. From his position, sitting on the end of the bed, he could see the whole holonet spread out before him, headlines from the past week scrawling past. He selected the first one that caught his eye, a droid reading out the news.

“The Supreme Leader of the First Order was seen running through the streets of Coruscant, allegedly going towards the New Republic hospital. Rumour has it, the young leader has recently become a father but that has yet to be confirmed from an official source…”

Finn’s jaw clenched, his eyes hard as he watched the information in front of him, taking in the images of Ben Solo running through the streets, skidding his way into the hospital.

“At the first day of peace talks between the First Order and the Resistance, he renounced the name ‘Kylo Ren’, as well as the title ‘Supreme leader’ and instead will be referred to by his birth name and the title of ‘First Minister Solo’,”

The more Finn listened, the more his rage was stoked. Why couldn’t they see that this wasn’t right? He was trying to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes, making out that he was some changed man seeking redemption, that he was a new father trying to fix his past mistakes for his young family, but Finn knew better.

The First Order didn’t change. All they knew was domination, there wasn’t any compromise. You could change the leader, change the package, but the content was always going to be the same. He just didn’t understand why so many people could forgive so easily. Leia, Rey…even Rose seemed to be going soft.

Now his baby had been born. This child that Finn was so sure was created through violence and deception. Why else would Rey have hidden the truth for so long? She was the start, she was the head of the animal.

It wasn’t going to be easy, but he was going to show everyone that Ben Solo didn’t exist anymore.


	20. Chapter 20

“Do you think she’ll be alright?” Rey asked Ben for the umpteenth time.

They were in a private transport going somewhere that Ben had specified but was telling Rey nothing about. After a long back and forth conversation, he had eventually convinced her to leave Hope with his mother for the day while he took her out around Coruscant. After all that had happened, knowing how little she had growing up, Ben wanted to give her the galaxy but knowing she wouldn’t accept that, he settled for treating her to other, more traditional, gifts. She just didn’t know about them yet.

Rey was excited, she had never seen the planet and wanted to explore, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t nervous about leaving her infant child.

Ben gave her an indulgent smile.

“As I said before, she will be absolutely fine. My mother was thrilled to be able to spend the day with her granddaughter and I and thrilled to spend the day alone with you,” He said pressing a kiss to her head. She sighed happily and settled against him, his arm around her shoulders.

“You still haven’t told me where we’re going,”

“It’s not far. I think you’ll like it,” he said, “Besides, it’s only the first place we’re stopping today,”

“Oh really? Care to give me any hints?” She asked, raising an eyebrow with a wicked smile on her face.

“No, you’re too smart for hints,” Ben answered simply as the transport came to a stop, “Besides, we’re here,”

The transport stopped at a landing pad next to a huge building glinting silver and white in the morning sun. Rey accepted Ben’s hand, allowing him to help her down from the private ship. It amused her that she was accepting his help given the things he knew she was capable of, but if he was going to be a gentleman, then she was going to be his lady, she thought with a private smile.

They entered the building, reminding her very much of Leia’s Coruscant home in décor and he guided her to the elevator, punching in a code that sent the lift straight up, not stopping until it was at the top floor.

When the doors opened, Rey could see it lead out onto a huge balcony, full of flowers and fountains and as they stepped out and continued walking, to the right, a large set of double doors leading back inside the penthouse of the building.

Ben stepped forward, throwing the doors open and gesturing to Rey to walk inside. Much like Leia’s home, there was a large, open hallway leading towards a living area with a large fireplace and the same huge windows.

The way it was decorated was far more modern than Leia’s home. Still with pale colors which were fashionable to Coruscant but less gaudy. Everything simply had a place and a purpose, nothing was too ostentatious.

Ben stepped back with a satisfied smile, watching Rey walk around the room, her eyes wide and her head turning this way and that to try and see everything. Past the room was another set of doors leading out to a large balcony garden.

“This place is beautiful,” Rey gasped, “It’s bigger than Leia’s home…”

“And down the hall to your left is a large kitchen, several bathrooms, and bedrooms. All decorated but we can change anything you don’t like…” Ben said, and Rey whirled around to stare at him.

“What do you mean?” He shrugged.

“I mean if you want to add anything or change anything then we can. It won’t be a problem, I’m thinking of turning one of the spare rooms into a personal training room but of course, that’ll be far away from the nursery…” Rey continued to blink at him.

“Ben…have you…did you buy this place?”

He walked towards her with an amused smile as she was rooted to the spot in shock, but uncertainty began to constrict his chest. What if she didn’t want this? Didn’t she like it?

“I said I wanted us to have a home. A family home where we can raise our daughter together. If you don’t like this place, we can…” He quickly found himself cut off by Rey’s arms around his neck, pulling him down for a solid and sound kiss. She was practically glowing when she pulled away.

“I love it,” she beamed, “I just…Ben, can you afford this?!”

Ben raised his eyebrow at her, giving her a bemused smile. Of course, he could afford it and he thought it was adorable that she even considered it an issue. Sadness tugged at his heart, realizing why. She had to scrimp and save for everything she had, it was always the first thing she thought of. Ben couldn’t help but feel a little ashamed of himself, realizing that he may be coming off as more than a little spoiled.

“Rey, this isn’t something frivolous. This is our home, and I want you and Hope to have nothing but the best,” He said gently, “So you should probably get used to being spoiled!” Rey frowned uncertainly.

“Ben…”

“Just…indulge me?” he asked, his eyes hopeful. Rey sighed with a smile.

“Fine,” she said kissing him, “But just for today. Now, take me around the rest of our house!”

Ben put his arm around her shoulder, Rey snuggling close to him and as he was about to lead her down the halls to show her the rest of their home when Rey’s attention was pulled by a mechanical beeping and a light rumbling on the floors.

Rey laughed in delight as the droid rolled towards her in greeting. The droid reminded her of BB-8 but it was black and silver with a squarish shaped head.

“Ah good, you’re here,” Ben said to the droid then turned to Rey, “This is BB-9E, think of it as a housewarming gift,”

“Ben you really shouldn’t have…” She began to protest, the little droid turning his attention to her with a questioning beep.

“See? You can’t turn him down, you’ll offend him!” Ben joked, his eyes shining with humor.

Rey grinned at him. Seeing him happy, relaxed and even making jokes was a side to the quiet and normally serious Ben that Rey rarely got to see except when they were alone. It made her heart leap to think that he felt at ease enough around her to truly be himself.

“There are a few more droids to help around the home but they won’t arrive for another few days,” He commented.

He walked her through their new home, enjoying her enthusiastic and excitable reactions to the place as they did while BB-9E rolled along behind them, beeping all the way.

“Where are we going now?” Rey asked as he guided her back towards their transport.

Ben smiled enigmatically.

“I have an appointment that I have to keep I’m afraid,” He said apologetically, “But believe me, you’re going to be well taken care of. We just need to pick someone up first,” Rey gave him a puzzled look.

“Who?” Ben continued to smile.

“You’ll see,”

The transport sped off, Rey questioning Ben the whole way and growing more frustrated at his lack of answers. They stopped at the landing pad attached to the New Republic building and climbed out. Standing at the pad waiting for them was Rose with a slightly nervous smile. She was out of her regular engineering uniform, standing in a casual tunic and leggings.

“Hello, Rose, ready to go?” Ben asked. She smiled awkwardly and nodded.

“Rose? You’re coming with me?” Rey asked in surprised and the girl nodded again enthusiastically.

“Since I’m going to be taken away from you for a few hours, I asked Rose if she might want to accompany you to your next…excursion,” Ben said, somewhat formally.

“You’ve still not told me where we’re going!” He gestured towards the transport.

“You’ll see. My man is under strict instructions to take you where you need to go and follow those instructions to the letter,” He said, his voice softening, “I’m sorry I can’t come with you, it couldn’t be avoided, but I’ll see you this evening,”

“What’s happening this evening?!” Rey pressed. Ben rolled his eyes, seemingly oblivious to Rose standing watching the two of them.

“Always so many questions!” he said lightly, kissing her, “Have a good time,”

Rey watched him walk away, her face a mixture of confusion and affection. It was strange to her watching him change from her Ben to ‘First Minister Solo’ in the space of a few seconds. As he walked towards the building, she noticed he seemed to stand just that little bit taller, his back straighter, his shoulders squared. He radiated an air of authority that Rey realized must run in the family, recognizing that Leia acted the same way.

Rose smirked, grabbing Rey by the hand and pulling her towards the transport.

00000

“Oh. Gods,” Rose exclaimed, “Would you look at this place?!”

The transport had taken Rey and Rose to the upmarket shopping district of Coruscant, stopping at a small immaculate store. Rey turned to First Order officer than Ben had left in charge.

“Are you sure this is the correct place?” the man nodded formally.

“Oh yes, The First Minister was very exacting in his instructions. I’ll be out here when you’re done, they’re expecting you both,”

The two women walked timidly into the store, being met at the front by a well-dressed woman who was smiling at them from ear to ear. Suddenly Rey felt very self-conscious wearing her simple top and leggings in comparison to the ladies standing before her in their elaborate and luxurious clothes. Rey pushed her loose hanging hair behind her ear, spying Rose from the corner of her eye. The other woman looked the same.

“Welcome! My name is Amara and I’m the owner of this establishment. We’re here to help you today,” She said pleasantly. Rey smiled inelegantly.

“Hello, I’m Rey and this is Rose…I’m so sorry but I’ve not actually been told why we’re here…” The woman only continued to smile.

“The First Minister has instructed us to create a new wardrobe for you and assist you in preparing for this evenings activity,”

“I don’t know what that is either…” Rey mumbled, looking all around her at the clothes.

Everything she saw hanging up seemed to be made of the most expensive materials she had ever seen. Fine silks in all manner of colors, hair combs adorned with jewels and wraps made of soft furs. Rey had borrowed some of Leia’s clothes before but none of those clothes were things she could see herself wearing every day.

“This is all beautiful, but I normally favor more…practical…clothes,” she uttered uncomfortably, concerned that she was about to offend the women who were simply doing what they were told.

“First Minister did say that you would need more than just gowns. When I say we are to create a whole new wardrobe, that is what I meant,” she explained, “Everything from formal gowns to training clothes. Shall we begin?”

Rey looked towards Rose.

“What about my friend?” Rose held up her hands.

“Oh, no…I’m just here to keep you company…” she began to protest but the Amara shook her head.

“First Minister has also left instruction that Miss Rose Tico has also to be gifted with whatever she wishes,” Rose paled in shock.

“That really won’t be…”

“First Minister insisted,” Amara stressed, her face showing no hint of compromise.

Rey and Rose found themselves set upon by Amara’s assistants, both being pulled into dressing rooms and being stripped to their underwear, tailoring droids scanning their bodies and taking their measurements, sending them to the waiting assistants waiting with various samples of fabrics and designs.

She felt like she was in a whirlwind, being passed from one person to the other. Everything from underwear to dresses, skirts, and leggings, boots, and shoes were shown to her. Did she prefer lighter colors or dark? Longer sleeves? What about belts and accessories? By the time the ladies had left them to prepare some personalized designs, Rey felt like she was drunk.

“This is too much, I have to tell him I can’t accept this!” Rey sighed, pulling her own clothes back on.

Rose popped her head out from behind the dressing room curtain to stare at her friend.

“You can’t do that!” She exclaimed.

“Why not?” Rey asked before thanking the girl who handed her a drink while she sat waiting for Rose, “I’ll just explain that it’s too much. He doesn’t need to…to…buy me! All I wanted was him and now we’re together…Stars, do you think he doesn’t like the way I look?”

Rose emerged from the changing room with a bewildered expression on her face.

“Do you really think that’s what he’s doing?” She asked in return.

Rose knew that she wasn’t exactly a wealth of experience when it came to men and relationships but even she could see that Rey had it all wrong.

“He’s trying to show you how much he loves you! He’s not trying to buy you or change you, he’s taking care of you!” Rose stressed, “He even went to the trouble of asking me to come with you, so you wouldn’t be alone!” Rey blushed sheepishly.

“Besides, after so long living on dirty bases and running…don’t you think he just wants you to have something nice?”

Rey reluctantly smiled and gave a small nod. Maybe the other girl was right, this was just Ben’s way of taking care of her, giving her the things that he knew she never had when she was growing up. The more she thought about it, the more it began to make sense, and it wasn’t like they were forcing clothes on her that she would never wear. These ladies were asking her opinions on everything, following her instructions to the letter. He was even giving Rose a gift, all because he knew it would make her happy.

“I suppose you’re right,” She said, “I wonder if they do baby clothes…”

Amara returned with a data pad full of designs to show Rey and Rose, the girls picking what they definitely wanted to keep while other things Rey made some changes to. A little lighter on the color, or a little shorter for practical purposes. In the end, Rey had a full new wardrobe and Rose had some new pieces as well.

“Now, Rey, what will you be wearing this evening?” Amara asked. Rey shrugged.

“I don’t even know what I’m doing this evening…Be…I mean, the First Minister hasn’t told me,” Amara smiled at her.

“I have selected a few pieces that will be appropriate as well as shoes and jewelry to match,” the woman replied, “Please step this way,”

Hanging in front of them was a selection of gowns finer than Rey could ever have imagined. Rich silks and velvets in a variety of colors and designs. Slowly, Rey walked along the rack, fingering the gowns and feeling the soft fabrics against her skin. Clearly whatever Ben had planned was grand.

She stopped at the last gown, her eyes lighting up.

“I think I’d like to try this on,”

By the time she was changed, Rey barely recognized herself. The gown was sleeveless with a high neck, silver beading around the base of her throat and around her waist where the dress hugged tightly until it flared into soft, multiple layers of skirt. It began as a soft cream color at the top but slowly blended down until the base of the skirt was a deep turquoise. The look was finished with a pair of silver heeled sandals and a matching jeweled armband. Her hair had been left down, falling in natural waves with a comb pulling it away from her face over her right ear.

“Maker, Rey…you look incredible!” Rose gasped, “He’s not going to know what hit him!”

Rey grinned, smoothing the invisible wrinkles on her torso and feeling the fabric against her. She had never felt more beautiful in her life. Amara nodded in approval, clearly proud of her work.

“Perfect, an excellent choice!” she declared, “Now, I believe it’s about time we got you back on that transport. You have someone waiting for you,”

00000

Rose had left her with the sincere wish to enjoy every moment of the evening she was about to had which lead Rey to believe that the girl knew more about what was happening than she had let on.

The evening had descended by the time the transport arrived on the roof landing pad of the building, the stars twinkling against the black Coruscant sky. Nervously, Rey stepped off the ship. Ben was nowhere to be seen, but in front of her was a large set of doors leading into what looked like a large glass dome made of frosted glass. She couldn’t see Ben, but she could feel him. He was inside.

Pulling the door open, Rey’s breath caught at the sight. The dome was full of trees and plants, all in bloom and humming with life. Orbs of soft, warm lights hung in the air and through the leaves of the trees bathing the whole place in a soft glow. Somewhere soft music was playing, and the air was scented with fresh blooms.

Amid the beauty of the greenhouse stood Ben in the center, wearing the most beautiful smile she had ever seen. He had changed his clothes, still in all black but his formal military jacket was paired with a side cape that hung over one shoulder, the inside of the cape lined in a red silk. He was dashing, and despite her surroundings, she couldn’t take her eyes off him.

He walked forward to meet her, staring at her with a kind of reverence that she had never experienced, and it sent a shiver down her spine.

“You look…unbelievable,” he breathed, causing a blush to spread over her cheeks.

“Did you do all this?” He nodded.

“With a little help. Do you like it?” he asked nervously, reminding Rey of an unsure teenager more than one of the most powerful men in the galaxy.

Impulsively she kissed him, putting his worry at ease.

“I love it, Ben, it’s amazing,” She gushed, looking all around her, “This whole place FEELS incredible, the force in here is…”

“I know, I feel it too. That’s why I wanted to bring you here,” He said, “Years ago when I was here with my Mother, this was my favorite place. It’s so light…it reminds me so much of you,” He finished softly.

“Ben, the home, the clothes…it’s too much. You don’t have to do all of this for me!” he shook his head.

“No, I do. I made a promise that I would take care of you. I know you can take care of yourself, I know you can, but what I’m trying to tell you is that when I’m here you don’t have to. Sometimes, just let me give you these things, indulge me,”

“I had wanted to wait until later, we have a dinner planned but, well, patience was never my strong suit,” He said with a chuckle, “Rey, as a child, this place was light when I needed it most. When I found you, I was so bound in the dark, that’s what you are, you’re my light now…when we touched across the stars I knew that the force had connected us for a reason, I promised when we were reunited we would never be parted…so…”

Rey watched in disbelief as Ben, formally Kylo Ren, got to his knees in front of her, taking her hand in his and she noticed he was trembling.

“You have already given me the greatest gift in our daughter,” he said shakily, his throat bobbing, and she felt a swell of love and complete devotion through the bond, “Will you marry me?”

She felt his uncertainty, his vulnerability, everything laid bare in front of her giving her to power to destroy him if she chose to. It was everything she had dreamed for so long when they had been separated and now, he was there with her, asking her to be his.

“Yes,” She breathed, “Yes,”

Everything felt like a blur. His jubilation exploding through their bond, the feeling of the beautiful ring he was giving her sliding effortlessly onto her finger. Ben stood grabbing her around the waist, her arms around his neck, swinging her around effortlessly and kissing her like a man quenching his thirst. She was everything he had ever dreamed of and in each other, they had finally found a home.

They spent the rest of the evening in each other’s company. Ben had spared no expense for dinner, various exotic dishes from all corners of the galaxy being prepared for them and they continued to eat, drink and talk late into the evening, eventually coming to a sit against one of the many trees, cuddled against each other. Rey yawned happily.

“I suppose it’s about time I got you home,” Ben said quietly, noticing she was ready to doze in his arms. Carefully he pulled her to a standing and they began to walk back towards the transport, arm in arm.

It wasn’t until they were in the back of the transport that Rey felt awake again. The lovely, hazy feeling she had back in the greenhouse was disappearing and as she stared at him, it had dissipated, leaving nothing but an intense want.

They hadn’t been together for so long and by the time they were reunited, she hadn’t exactly been in a fit state for any of the activities that were now flashing through her mind. She grinned wickedly at him and he felt nothing but mischief from her, so he wasn’t caught off guard when she threw herself at him, straddling him over his seat in a flurry of cream and turquoise silk, his reflexes catching her around the waist.

Hands running over each other, exploring every inch of her curves as her hands gripped his shoulders, tangled in his hair. Neither noticed the transport come to a halt until the pilot awkwardly cleared his throat, trying to look anywhere except their eyes.

Like teens caught in the act, looking disheveled, Ben assisted Rey from the transport with one hand and smoothed his messy hair with the other.

“First Minister, Sir. I’m sorry to interrupt but we’ve received an urgent transmission for you,”

“Can’t it wait?” Ben snapped. The pilot paled but shook his head.

“I’m sorry Sir, on the colonies the First Order have pulled out from have begun riots and they need your guidance,”

Rey squeezed his hand and he turned his attention back to her with apologetic eyes.

“It’s alright. It’s important,” She assured, “Go and deal with that and I’ll be here when you get home…in bed…”

Ben groaned low in his throat. What had he done to deserve this woman? He kissed her deeply, trying not to moan when she nipped lightly at his lower lip.

“I will be as fast as I can,” he promised, “and then I’m coming right back here!”

He took one last look at his love, glowing in her well-kissed state, her lips and cheeks flushed, her eyes soft and begging him to take her straight to the bedroom and hide them for the next forty-eight hours. Sadly, circumstances being what they were, it wasn’t to be, and he huffed, turning back towards the transport while Rey pushed her way into the home.

She frowned walking inside, it was late but not so late that the whole place would be in darkness, at the very least the droids would still be functional, but the home was eerily still. Looking back out to the front, she saw Ben’s transport was already gone. She was alone.

“Hello?” She called out, her voice echoing off the walls and hard floors, “Leia?”

She kicked off her heels, padding barefoot further into the house and feeling out with the force. She could feel Hope sleeping and that helped quell some of her worry, but something was wrong.

Lying in the sitting room, she spied a body in the darkness and with a scream, she rushed forward.

“Leia?! Maker, Leia please wake up!” She screamed, going to her knees next to the woman. She was alive but unconscious, a smear of blood on her face where she had been hit.

Suddenly, from behind something grabbed Rey around her face, a cloth covering her nose and mouth, an acrid smell invading her senses and making her eyes water.

It was the last thing she could remember before she closed her eyes.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check the tags. Very out of character Finn. Dark. You have been warned so don't start coming for me in the comments if you don't like how he's been written!

Hope was crying.

She sounded so far away. Why did she sound so far away?

Rey’s eyes screwed at the sharp pain in the front of her head, her senses still dulled. She felt like she was floating. As she began to come to, she realized that she was lying on something cold and solid. A floor? Why was Hope still crying? Ben would have gone to her by now…

Her eyes opened slowly, her vision blurry. She wasn’t in Leia’s home that was for certain. Slowly turning her head look around her she saw crates covered in dusty sheets, the only light falling into the room coming from tiny barred windows near the ceiling and a fan rotating slowly, making the light blink. A basement?

“Good, you’re awake,” a familiar voice said, “I was worried I had used a little too much on that rag,”

“Finn? Is that you?” Rey croaked, her throat dry and rough.

Finn stepped forward into the rays of light, his face unnervingly blank as he looked at her. Rey pushed herself up to a sit, staring up at him from the floor. In one arm he was holding Hope and in the other, he was gripping his blaster. Panic gripped Rey’s throat.

“What’s going on? What happened?” Rey demanded. She realized that she was still wearing her dress from the night before, “Seriously, the last thing I remember was…finding Leia…God’s what happened to Leia, is she alright?!”

“I didn’t want that to happen, honestly I didn’t, but I didn’t know it was her home you were staying in,” he said flatly, “She’ll be fine. It was just a bump to the head…”

“Finn…did you attack Leia?” He nodded, and Hope began to fuss in his arms, Rey’s eyes darting to her daughter.

“Give her to me…” Rey moved to stand but quickly Finn pointed the blaster at her, his face hardening.

“Sit. Down.” He ground out. Rey began to shake, the tentative uneasy panic growing into full-blown fear.

“What are you doing?! Please just give me my daughter…”

“It’s a shame she looks like him…you could have lied…you could have just said she was someone else’s…” he said staring down at Hope with the blaster still trained on Rey. His head snapped to look at her.

“We’re going to have a little talk,”

00000

He wanted to destroy something.

His hands were clenched into tightly balled fists by his side, shaking with barely controlled rage, but losing it would do him no good now. He supposed Rey would be proud of him keeping control, even without her light to keep him balanced.

Now, he couldn’t feel her. All he could feel was the cold swirling darkness that was marbling in his blood.

Ben had arrived back to his mother’s home only a half hour after he had left Rey, desperate to finish his instructions to his officers and get back to his fiancée so they could continue their private celebrations. When he had entered he had found the place in darkness, Leia lying unconscious and both Rey and his daughter gone.

“Leia’s doing fine. She’s come to but she’s still a little out of it,” Poe said emerging into the sitting room. Ben nodded, his jaw set. “Still nothing?”

“No,” Ben said, “I can’t feel her…I can’t feel either of them…”

Poe wasn’t really sure how the force worked, or the bond between Ben and Rey, but he was sure that wasn’t a good thing.

“Maybe that’s because she’s not awake…” he pondered, and Ben visibly flinched.

“That’s what I’m worried about…”

“We’ll find them. You have the whole First Order looking for them as well as the Resistance and the New Republic. There’s no way they’ll have been taken off world without someone knowing. It’s all over the holonet…Ben, we’ll find them,”

Ben nodded in stony silence. He just hoped that Poe was right.

00000

“Please give her back to me!” Rey begged. Finn shook his head.

“I’m not an idiot, Rey,” He spat, “Holding her next to me is the only thing stopping you from using the force on me. As soon as I have an empty arm, you’ll throw me across the room…”

“I won’t! I don’t want to hurt you, I want to talk to you!” She cried, tears running unchecked down her face.

Hope had stopped crying, but she could feel the infant’s distress at being in the stranger’s arms.

“So…let’s talk,” Finn said, crouching down to her eye level, “You’re going to start at the beginning and I want to hear it from you…when exactly did you decide to betray us all?”

Rey paled. Is that what this was? Finn thought she had betrayed the Resistance to join the First Order?

“That isn’t what happened Finn, you have to believe me…there’s more to it than that!” She cried.

Without warning he reached out, grabbing the back of her head roughly, holding her by the hair and she hissed at the pain.

“What was it then Rey, huh? Did he do something to you? Some kind of mind trick…you can tell me!” he stressed, letting go of her suddenly like he’d been burned.

He stared down at his friend, tears in her eyes, on the floor in front of him. What was he doing? This was Rey. That beautiful, brave girl he had met so long ago. Surely, she wouldn’t betray him without something else forcing her to do so?  Hope gurgled in his arms and he sneered at the child.

“We…we’re bonded through the force, Finn,” Rey said firmly, “and I love him,”

Finn screwed his eyes closed, pinching the bridge of his nose and she didn’t know if he was going to fly into a rage or cry. He stood abruptly, the sudden motion making Hope cry and he paced back and forth in front of her.

“No, no!” he shouted, “Look at you Rey! He’s got you dressed up like some kind of trophy, this isn’t you!”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Rey screamed back, jumping to her feet.

She rushed forward urgently, reaching for Hope but Finn swung his hand, the blaster cracking her across the cheek and sending her to the floor, her head bursting with pain and spinning. Finn stood silently, shaking at his actions. She looked at him bleary-eyed, blood dripping from the open gash on her face.

“Stay back! Try that again and I’ll…I’ll…”

“You can’t even say it!” Rey snarled at him and Finn paled. Could he bring himself to harm a baby? Even Kylo Ren’s child?

“Just don’t try anything again Rey, please,” he said quietly, “We still have to get to the truth of all this…”

Rey sat silently shaking. Her head was foggy, her cheek throbbing. She wouldn’t move, not as long as he had Hope in his arms.

“When did...this…happen?” He growled, “When did he force this on you…”

“I went to him, after Hoth…” Rey said simply, and realization fell over Finn’s face.

“When you left us on Takodana…you…you were with him?” Rey nodded, and Finn looked like he was going to be sick.

“The man chases us like rats and you just fall at his feet, is that it?!” he accused, and Rey scowled.

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about! Don’t you see, he’s the one who reached out to stop the war first. Without Ben…”

“Don’t call him that…”

“Without BEN, the war would still be going on,” Rey continued, ignoring him, “He’s changed, he’s trying to atone for his crimes. Leia, Rose…even Poe have all forgiven him…Finn, we need to move on…”

“Poe? Poe Dameron’s alive?” Finn gasped. Rey nodded.

Poe, his best friend other than Rey. Losing him had hurt Finn more than he had wanted to admit. He had spent so much time alone mourning the loss of his friend, that along with Rey’s betrayal had been more than he could take. 

“When Poe was taken on Hoth, he began working with Ben to change the First Order from the inside before the cease-fire…”

Finn scowled. No, she had to be lying. There was no way Poe would have worked with Kylo Ren, not after everything he had been through. He had just as much reason to mistrust the First Order as Finn had.

“You’re lying…”

“I’m telling you the truth!” Rey stressed, “If you let me go, I can show you, I can show you everything!”

“NO! Listen to me, I’m trying to help you! Whatever he’s done to you, we can fix it, we can get as far away from here at possible…somewhere he’ll never find you. Nobody has to know who her father is!”  Rey shook her head.

“I can’t do that Finn,” Rey whispered, “You need to let me in your head, let me show you…”

“You stay the hell away from my mind,” He snapped, “We’re going to sit here until you admit that he has done something to you, to all of you,” Rey sighed in defeat.

“Why do you find it so hard to believe that this is all true?”

“Because people like that don’t change! You don’t know the First Order the way I do, the things they did to people. The way they tortured people, they killed whole villages just to find one person…they are born from the Empire. They don’t know anything except domination and destruction!”

Rey sniffed back her tears, wiping her face.

“So, what now? If you kill us then you’re acting just like them and believe me when Ben finds you, he won’t need to use the force to end you, he’ll do it with his bare hands!” she said, pride tinged in her voice.

Finn said nothing. Truth be told, he hadn’t thought much further than taking her somewhere and getting her to confess either that she was a traitor to the Resistance or confirm that he had done something to poison her mind. He would wait, he could be patient.

Marching over to a crate, he lifted a data pad from it, watching the holonet spring to life. He frowned, already Rey and Hope’s disappearance was all over the news. Rey smiled triumphantly.

“See, there’s nowhere to go from this Finn, you need to just let us go…it’s the only way you’ll survive this!” Her voice softened, “Please…”

Little did he know that Rey was feeling a familiar stirring in the force and soon she wouldn’t be alone.

00000

What use was it being the head of one of the largest military groups in the galaxy if he couldn’t find one person?

Coruscant was on complete lockdown. It wasn’t how Ben would have wanted to announce their engagement but reporting that the First Minister’s future wife and newborn daughter had been kidnapped did speed up the process of investigation. Not that it had turned up anything of use.

Leia hadn’t managed to see anything. When she had heard a noise, she had gone to investigate only for the lights to be turned out and whoever had attacked her had done it from behind like a coward and it only served to make Ben angrier.

He was still pacing the living area when he stopped dead in his tracks. The bond was open, and she was sitting on the floor in front of him, but she wasn’t looking at him. She was looking at something else…or someone.

“Rey!” he cried, rushing forward to her.

Her eyes darted to his before looking away again.

“Is someone there with you?” He questioned, crouching down next to her. She nodded ever so slightly, her eyes still trained on the person in front of her. She was bleeding from a cut on her cheek and bruising was beginning to bloom on her face.

“Who is it?” Ben asked tensely.

“Finn, you have to see this isn’t going to end the way you think,” Rey said to her invisible captor.

Ben ground his jaw, his mouth working with barely concealed anger. Finn, FN-2187 as he had been known, had Rey and his child and if Ben hadn’t been seeing red before, he was positively murderous now.

“Is that Rey? Are you connected?” Poe asked him, making his way to where Ben was crouched, seemingly talking to thin air.

It was strange to watch, Poe thought, Ben sitting staring at what seemed like nothing so intently even though he knew that Rey was right in front of him. He wondered if that’s what Rey had been seeing that day so long ago when he had tried to ask her on a date.

“Did he do that to you? Has he hurt Hope!?” Ben asked frantically, relieved when she shook her head.

“Where have you even taken us?” Rey asked, frowning when she didn’t receive the answer she wanted, “You may as well tell me…that’s not how the force works, Finn…” Rey rolled her eyes but seemed to be listening intently.

“Level 1997?! Kriff, Finn, you really have lost your mind!” Rey spat only to recoil back from whatever Finn was shouting at her.

“We’re coming to get you!” Ben promised, “Keep him there, keep him talking!”

Rey gave him a ghost of a smile, her eyes only darting to his for a second, so she didn’t draw any attention to their connection, sliding her hand over to rest on his and he took comfort in feeling her touch, even if it was only through the force. If she was connected to him then he knew she was alright, he could see that she was awake.

“Poe, she’s on level 1997!” Ben said, and Poe’s eyes widened.

“1997? That place is rough! It’s full of strip joints, sleazy bars…how the hell did she get there?”

“Finn,” Ben growled, “Finn has both of them,”

“Finn? No, there’s no way…it can’t be…” Poe said in disbelief.

“That’s what Rey just told me…Finn has both her and our daughter on level 1997,” Ben said firmly, his left eye twitching slightly.

Poe felt sick. He hadn’t seen Finn since he had returned to the Resistance. When he had asked Rose where he was she had awkwardly told him that he hadn’t been feeling too well and that he was keeping his distance. Not once had Poe thought anything was wrong and a strange guilt began to creep into his thoughts. He had been so preoccupied with peace talks and now something awful had happened which could have maybe been prevented.

Ben stood as the bond had closed itself and he stalked forwards, a murderous look on his face.

“Whoa, Ben, I know you’re beyond angry and you have every single right to be, but you need to calm down,” Poe warned, “There are lives at stake here and I don’t just mean Rey and Hope…”

“I’m going to kill him,” Ben’s voice was quiet, low and more dangerous than Poe had ever heard. Screaming and shouting, Poe knew how to deal with, but this level of intensity was something that Poe didn’t know how to reason with. There was no reasoning with him when it came to his family.

“Look…I’m not going to pretend like I understand, but, I know Finn…this isn’t him, something has clearly snapped here,” Poe said, “If you’ve really changed, if you’re Ben Solo, then you’ll take him alive if you can,”

Ben studied Poe carefully, his friend’s earnest face pleading for him to see reason. Kylo Ren would show no mercy. He would storm in with the full power of the dark side behind him and grab Finn by the throat, squeezing until he felt his heartbeat for the final time. It grated on the last part of his reasonable thinking that Poe might be right and that no matter what the man had done, he had been one of Rey’s closest friends and she wouldn’t want him killed.

Ben inhaled deeply, closing his eyes in defeat before looking back at his friend.

“If he has touched one hair on my daughter’s head…”

“Then I’ll shoot him myself,”

00000

“You’re my best friend,” Rey said softly, “Talk to me…”

Finn was sitting leaning against one of the crates on the other side of the small storage room. He looked tired, Rey thought, like his resolve was slowly starting to wear away. Hope was still in his arms but thankfully she seemed to be sleeping. It still didn’t make Rey feel any less anxious and she knew she wouldn’t feel better until Hope was back against her.

“Then why didn’t you tell me the truth about what happened while you were away?” he asked, his voice almost defeated, “You came back, and you were so…closed off. Then on Takodana you suddenly disappear claiming to be doing something with the force and you come back destroyed, devastated, refusing to talk to anyone…I wanted to help you, Rey. I would have done anything for you…”

“I know that…”

“Then you announce that you…you were _pregnant,_ but you still couldn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth,”

Rey sighed, sniffing back tears. She hadn’t realized just how much her behavior had hurt her friend. She had been so wrapped up in her own grief, her own emotional trauma that instead of realizing how much support she might have had, she had pushed him away.

“I’m sorry,” She sobbed quietly, “but how could I tell you? Knowing how you feel about the First Order, about Ben, how could I tell you that I was bonded to him…that I was falling in love with him. Gods, Finn, look how you’re reacting now!”

“I may have taken it a little better hearing it directly from you and not overhearing it from a hallway!” He snapped.

“What?”

“Oh yeah, I heard you talking to Leia when you were telling her everything,” He scowled, “and even after that, you refused to tell me anything. After everything, I’ve done for you! Kriff, your precious _Ben_ almost killed me on Star Killer Base. He almost killed YOU!”

“I know that!” Rey cried back, “I don’t dispute anything that he’s done in the past, but everyone deserves a chance at redemption…even him!”

“He killed his own father, you watched him!”

“And even Leia has forgiven him,” Rey shot back, “Finn, I understand how pain and resentment grows. I know how it eats away at you until there’s almost nothing left but you can’t let it win…I know you’re a good person…”

“Do you? You know, the things I saw…things I let happen…I still see them at night, I can see the faces of those people when I close my eyes,” he said. Rey could see tears forming in his eyes in the streaks of light that feel on his face, “We forced children from their families…”

“It’s over now,” Rey said softly, “We need to look to the future. You can still escape this, we can leave together,”

Finn’s eyes fell back onto Hope, still resting in his arms. They had begun to ache long ago, but he still wouldn’t relinquish the child for anything. His face hardened, and he stood, beginning to pace like a caged animal.

“So many parents lost their kids…” he wondered, “Why should he get to raise a child when so many were robbed…”

“NO!” Rey screamed, scrambling to her feet and Finn pointed the blaster at her again, the barrel practically against her forehead, “Don’t touch her! She’s innocent, she doesn’t know who her parents are or what they’ve done, just…please stop!” she sobbed, hot tear coursing down her frantic, panicked face as Hope woke with a start, screaming as hard as her lungs could.

“I’ll tell you what’s going to happen,” Finn said, “We’re going to go to the outer rim. You, me and your daughter. We’re going to start a new life and you’re going to forget all about this…bond…in time, you’ll see that I’m doing this for your own good,”

Slowly Rey stepped away, her heart thudding in her chest. Ben knew where they were. It was only a matter of time until he came for them. She growled at Finn, her teeth bared dangerously.

“I’ll die before I let you hurt her,” she snarled, “and it’s not because she’s his daughter…it’s because she’s MY daughter,”

00000

Level 1997 was one of the most dangerous places on Coruscant.

Full of trash compactors that rained sparks down on the filthy streets that were lined with homeless or sketchy looking people looking to sell anything they could for a quick credit. Most stores there sold weapons or worse, people.

Ben sneered as he stepped from the transport. The idea that his family was anywhere near this place sickened him. Poe stepped off behind him, his face mirroring Ben’s thoughts.

“Lovely,” Poe said sarcastically, “I don’t think I’ll be sending a postcard any time soon. Can you feel anything?” He asked, pulling out his blaster and checking it over.

He had sensed them as soon as he had stepped into the vicinity. Rey’s fear and panic were practically screaming at him and it only stoked his temper, but he had promised Poe that he would try to remain in control. For the time being, he would.

Carefully he felt out with the force, his attention being pulled to a small cantina. Behind their own transport, four more had arrived with them. One full of First Order troops, the other with Resistance. As much as he wanted to storm in single handily, he was taking no chances that Finn wasn’t acting alone.

He nodded in the direction of the bar, Poe followed, nodding in turn to the troopers behind them. The streets cleared quickly, nobody wanting to have any part in what was about to happen.

Using the force, Ben ripped the door of the bar from its brackets, making an imposing figure in the doorway that had the patrons jumping in fright. He marched into the bar with Poe on his heels.

“FIRST ORDER! HANDS WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM!” He heard one of his commander’s shout, and the thugs and low lives all threw their hands in the air.

Ben didn’t care about them, they weren’t who he was there for. He paused, feeling around him. They were close, and he turned to the bartender, an older man covered in tattoos who was trembling. He supposed having a blaster pointed directly at his head would have that effect.

“Does this place have any other rooms?” He demanded shortly. The man nodded frantically.

“There’s a basement utility room, but we never use it!” he shakily replied, nodding in the direction of the back.

Ben had heard enough, shoving past him and smashing through the door. He descended the steep metal stairs quickly and through the long dim corridor until he came to the room he was looking for.

She was in there. He could feel it.

“REY!?” He screamed, bursting through the door with Poe behind him, stopping dead in his tracks at the sight of Finn pointing the blaster at his daughter.

“Finn have you lost your kriffing mind?!” Poe shouted.

“Poe! You are alive…” Finn said, his voice shaking along with his body, “What are you doing with him?!” Poe stepped forward, his own blaster trailing on Finn.

“Buddy, I know you’re shaken…I know a lot has happened and we’re going to talk about it. We’re going to get you help,” Poe said carefully, “But you need to put the blaster down…and give Hope to Rey,”

“No, no…please, Poe, not you too,” Finn begged tears in his eyes.

Ben stood watching the exchange, breathing heavily. His daughter looked unharmed, but Rey’s face was badly bruised, the gash on her cheek inflamed and angry, dried blood having run down her jaw and onto her neck.

If he moved to her, if Rey moved to him, Finn was so startled and unstable he would shoot, Ben could feel the unhinged emotions thick in the air like smoke.

“Finn…give the baby to Rey…” Poe said gently. Finn looked between the three, his eyes unsure. Rey stepped forward and he immediately pointed the blaster at her.

“Not another step!” He snapped, “You…you did this!” He shouted at Ben, who glared at him with such intensity that Poe was sure Finn could burst into flames right then and there.

He had to get a grip on his emotions, there was too much at stake. In his state, he didn’t have a stable grip on the force and he couldn’t take the chance that someone would end up killed.

“Finn, I’ll come with you,” Rey said suddenly, “But you have to give hope to Poe…give her to the Resistance and I’ll come with you,”

“Rey, what are you doing?!” Ben said frantically. Rey turned her wide, terrified eyes towards him.

“I’m making sure our daughter is safe,” she said through her tears. She turned back to Finn who was staring at her in shock, “I’ll come with you,”

“And you’ll never see them again?” Finn questioned. Rey swallowed back a sob and nodded.

Finn looked at Poe, giving him a shaky nod. Carefully he stepped forward, his blaster still pointed at Rey’s forehead. Poe put his own weapon away, reaching out to take Hope from him, pulling the infant girl safely against his chest. As soon as Finn’s arm was free he grabbed Rey by the arm, pulling her to him.

“Now leave,” he said.

“Not a chance,” Ben snarled.

“You have what you want,” Finn spat, “You have your child, you have someone to raise in the First Order to take over when you finally die…you don’t need Rey too!”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Ben said, “What’s between us is something you will never understand and if you think I’m letting you separate us and break up this family, then you’re a fool!” he said, advancing on Finn.

“Get back!”

“You’ll have to kill me first…”

“GET BACK!”

It happened faster than Ben could comprehend. He had been so focused on Finn, he hadn’t anticipated Rey’s actions. She used the force to pull herself free from Finn’s grasp, the man stumbling back against the crates, his blaster still pointed in front of him. Finn looked up from his position with murder in his eyes and Rey stumbled forward towards Ben.

“I’LL SEE YOU IN HELL!” Finn screamed, pointing the blaster at Ben and squeezing the trigger.

Ben had fully prepared to feel the searing agony of the bolt hitting his body, but he found himself forcibly shoved against the side of the room out of harm's way. He looked up just in time to watch the bolt find it’s target against Rey’s stomach and she doubled over, hitting the ground with a scream of pain.

A second shout came from Finn as Poe fired his own blaster, hitting him in the shoulder, forcing him to drop his weapon.


	22. Chapter 22

Everything slowed for Ben watching Rey hit the ground, a sickening red beginning to spread over her dress as she lay clutching the wound the bolt had made in her abdomen. All he could see was the blood, her blood, beginning to drip onto the dirty floor of the room.

His heartbeat was so loud in his ears, he barely heard Poe shouting to the top level to get some help. Ben straightened himself from where he had landed when Rey had pushed him out of the way, turning his head slowly to face the man who had shot.

Finn was still lying slumped against the crates, clutching his bleeding shoulder and grunting in pain. Ben growled, his teeth bared like a wild animal, stalking forward and kicking the blaster out of the way before he grabbed Finn by the collar of his jacket, hauling him up only to throw him back down to the ground, the ex-stormtrooper landing on his back with a groan. He didn’t need the force for what he wanted to do.

On pure instinct, Ben was on top of him, mounted, one hand still gripping Finn’s collar while the other swung wildly at his face. The first hit was a solid blow to the downed man’s cheek, the bone cracking on impact. He swung again, dropping the collar to throw with his other hand, alternating his fists.

He had almost forgotten what it was like to lose himself to anger like this, to let himself swim in the darkness. He felt cold all over, fuelling himself with the feeling of her agony to drive his hands forward.

With a feral cry, Finn’s nose shattered, his blood covering Ben’s bare, bruised hands.

“Ben, that’s enough!” Poe shouted, running to him and grabbing his friend around the shoulders. Ben was far stronger, struggling against his grip but Poe locked his hands in front of Ben’s chest, doing his best to restrain him.

“I said THAT’S ENOUGH!” Poe screamed, “Go to Rey! I’ve got this…”

_Rey…_

Ben stilled, his breathing hard and ragged. He felt dizzy from the adrenaline in his blood, his eyes unfocused, looking down at the bloody, broken mess that was Finn’s face. Poe was right, Rey needed him more.

Carefully, Poe released his grip, and, in a flash, Ben dismounted his position on his knees over Finn’s body and he scrambled to Rey’s side. She was frighteningly pale, her eyes glassy and with shaking hands he pulled her as gently as he could onto his lap, holding her close.

“You’re alright,” she said weakly, her voice barely above a whisper.

This woman. His precious, brave, warrior girl, still worried about him even though she was the one who was slipping away from him. She tried to reach up to stroke his cheek, his hand meeting hers, holding it against him.

“Why did you do that? You should have let it hit me!” Ben tried to scold her, but all that came out was a hopeless sob, his vision blurring with tears.

Rey’s tired face contorted in confusion.

“Because I love you, stupid,” she breathed, like it was the most obvious answer in the world, “If…If I don’t…”

“NO! You’re going to be fine!” Ben stressed firmly, “We’re going to get you out of here, and you’re going to be alright,”

“But if I’m not…”

“Stop talking like this…” Rey hissed in pain as a wave passed through her and, Gods if Ben didn’t feel it too. He squeezed her hand slightly, holding it firmly against his face. Rey leveled him with a look, using her waning strength to focus her eyes.

“You need to take care of Hope,” she choked, “She’ll be your light…you can’t lose that…” Ben shook his head.

“I can’t lose you either,” he sobbed, “I love you!” Rey smiled weakly, her thumb moving in ever so slight strokes on his cheek.

“Shh,” she soothed, “It’s alright, I love…”

He felt her hand go limp, the only thing still holding it against his face was his own and slowly it slid away, leaving a trail of her own blood across his cheek.

“Rey? REY?!” He cried, desperately.

He tried is best to steady his hysterical emotions, to feel out with the force but it was so hard to concentrate, to focus when she was dying in his arms. She was still alive, just unconscious but if they didn’t move her soon, she wouldn’t last.

Ben had never been skilled in healing with the force. He had begun to learn as a teen but Snoke had always impressed on him that it was a useless skill in comparison to others and he never made it much further than healing a few cuts.

But he had to try.

Carefully, he put her hand down, hovering over her body with his own. Reaching out, he could feel her in the force, weak but still fighting. He tried, seeing where the bolt had torn through her, to knit the wounds back together but it was no use. He was too much in flux, unable to concentrate for longer than a handful of seconds.

He didn’t even hear the med team come in behind him. He didn’t notice anything until they tried to move her from his arms.

“No! You’re not taking her…” he snapped. A comforting hand fell on his shoulder.

“Ben, if you want her to live you need to let them take her…” Poe said gently. Ben looked up at his friend and Poe had never seen a man look so heartbroken.

“Poe…I can’t hear her…I can’t…”

“I know,” he replied gravely, “But you have to let them help,”

As gently as he could, Ben relinquished Rey to the team that had stormed inside, allowing Poe to pull him away and lead him over to where Poe had wrapped his daughter in his leather jacket safely and placed her in a corner away from harm.

Gently he held her, his little girl looking up at him with her wide, dark eyes, oblivious to the scene that was unfolding around her. It was a small comfort, he thought, that she would be too young to remember being taken. Too young to know that, potentially, her father had watched her mother die in his arms. He softly pressed his forehead against Hope’s.

She needed him to be strong for them now.

00000

Both Rey and Finn had been rushed directly to a hospital, the same hospital that Ben had sprinted to for the birth of their daughter and the memory absently passed through him as they landed on the pad.

He walked next to her bed as she was wheeled down the corridors until they passed through a set of double doors and he was stopped before entry.

“I’m sorry First Minister, but she’s going into the operating room,” A doctor explained, “You can’t go any further,”

Ben strained his neck to try and see around the doctor’s head, but Rey was already out of his sight. Wearily, he nodded to show that he understood, and the doctor headed through the doors, leaving Ben standing alone, a tousled, bloodied, black figure among a backdrop of white. From behind him, he heard Poe give orders.

“I want guards posted outside his door round the clock and nobody goes in without permission, including doctors, got it?”

Poe approached Ben, his arm going around the taller man’s shoulders.

“Come on,” he said quietly, “You should get those hands seen to,”

All his anger had seemingly dissolved, and Ben was left with an unexpected numbness running through his body. He allowed himself to be led away to a private room with Poe where a medical droid cleaned his split knuckles, applying bacta to the wounds, and the rest of the blood, her blood, was washed from his skin.

“Everything looks healthy,” a doctor said, examining Hope who was lying happily back on the pediatric exam table, gurgling happily and amusing herself by staring in wonder at the lights and images that flashed before her under the medical hood.  She had been washed and changed into clean clothes and Ben smiled affectionately at her, stroking her soft cheek with his finger.

“No last damage?” he asked in concern, but the doctor shook his head.

“No damage at all,” he smiled, “She’s a little fighter this one. I doubt she’ll remember any of this,”

The doctor left the room, leaving Ben alone with Hope, Poe leaning against the wall out of the way.

“Thank you,” Ben said quietly to Poe, “For taking care of her…Gods, some father I am…”

“Hey, don’t do that,” Poe scolded softly, coming to the other side of the table, “You had a lot to deal with in there…and that’s what your friends are here for,”

“Will he live?” Ben asked, and Poe didn’t need to know who he was talking about. Poe sighed.

“He will,” he replied, “You messed him up pretty bad. His face is practically unrecognizable, he’ll need a lot of reconstructive surgery but last I was told he was breathing and stable. There are First Order troopers outside his door, he won’t be going anywhere, and nobody is going in without express permission…even the doctors. I’m not taking any chances,”

“I’m sorry,” Ben said flatly, “I know he was your friend…” Poe sighed sadly.

“He was,” he said, “But, grief, betrayal, anger…they can do funny things to a person. I’ve seen guys go for years after fights have ended, never showing a single sign until something just breaks. Something just makes them snap. That guy in there? That wasn’t the Finn that I know,”

Ben only nodded. He knew all too well what those kinds of emotions did to someone. He looked back down at his daughter, smiling at her.

“You know, so many people say that she looks like me, but I don’t see it,” he said softly, “She looks more like Rey every day,” Poe smiled.

“She looks like both of you,”

Their peaceful moment was suddenly broken when the door to the room flew open.

“What did you do!?”

Rose stormed into the room, throwing herself at Ben, her small fists hammering against his chest and she screamed, angry tears running hot from her puffy eyes down her face.

“You could have killed him! How could you do that to him you…you…monster!” She screamed at him. Poe ran around the table grabbing the small girl around the arms and waist, hauling her away from Ben. He could only watch as the engineer sank to the floor, defeated, her body wracked with harsh sobs.

But he wouldn’t apologize. He couldn’t

“Rose, Rose, he’s going to be fine,” Poe said firmly but gently, letting the girl break her heart on his shoulder, “I know this is…awful, but there’s so much more to it…”

Violently, she pushed herself away from him.

“I don’t want to hear it!” she cried, “He…he couldn’t have done what people are saying…”

“Who is saying it?” Poe asked. Rose frowned.

“It’s all over the holonet,” she sniffed, “They’re saying that he took Rey and Hope…that he tried to…to…” She couldn’t even finish her sentence. The two men just stood staring at her, their faces severe.

“Maker, no…” she whispered, fresh tears tracking down her face.

“Rose…”

“No! I need to go, I need to get out of here…” she stuttered, rushing uncoordinatedly from the room in a panic, her face contorted in nausea.

Ben sighed turning back to his daughter. He wouldn’t apologize.

00000

The private waiting room was a nice as you could expect a waiting room to be in a Coruscant level 5 hospital. Clean, white and completely dull.

Ben sat quietly, Hope sleeping against his chest, her tiny face pressed into the crook of his neck, little huffs of air from her nose telling him that she was still alive and safe. With one arm, he cradled his tiny girl against him, the other rubbing small circles on her back.

Poe was pacing again. Their interaction with Rose had shaken him more than he cared to admit, and he was full of nervous energy. He hated waiting. He reached over to the console on the wall, turning it on and bringing the live holonet to life, disrupting the quiet of the room.

Ben shot Poe an exasperated look and the man quickly turned down the volume.

“Sorry, baby…right,” Poe muttered, turning his attention back to the screen.

“Reports are coming in from Coruscant security that the intended and daughter of First Minister Solo have been found. Their kidnapper was apprehended and has been named as FN-2187, a former Stormtrooper of the First Order who defected to the Resistance some months before. Reports say that both kidnapper and the woman were injured in the rescue attempt and are being treated in hospital…”

“Jeez, these guys work fast,” Poe muttered, “Rose wasn’t lying…it’s everywhere,”

“Information is just as valuable as credits these days,” Ben said quietly, “Do you have to watch that?”

“I just need to break up the silence,” Poe sighed, “I’m going out of my mind here…”

“Leia Organa was also injured during the kidnapping attempt and is recovering at her home. Peace talks between the First Order, Resistance and New Republic have been put on hold for the time being, but the cease-fire is still being honored. The New Republic representatives have sent their warmest regards to both the Resistance and the First Order…” the holonet continued.

Another half hour passed by when the door to the room opened and a doctor walked in.

“First Minister? Your fiancée is out of surgery now,” he said, “She lost a lot of blood, but we were able to repair the damage and replace a lot with synthetic which will hold until her body can replace what it lost on its own,”

“Is she awake?”

“She’s resting now, but we’re confident she’ll wake soon,” Ben nodded, and Poe walked over to him.

“Give Hope to me,” he said, carefully taking the sleeping baby from his arms, “Go and see Rey,”

Her room was just as sterile and white as the waiting room he had been in. Ben frowned, Rey wouldn’t like this at all. There was nothing green here, nothing living, except for her.

Her face was still bruised but the gash on her cheek had been cleaned, a layer of bacta working to heal it quickly. She had been changed into a white gown and all her jewelry was removed, except her engagement ring. She loved that gown, he thought sadly, she had told him that during their dinner.

He would buy her another one.

Gently he sat on the edge of her large bed, trying to get as close to her as possible without doing any harm or interfering with the machines which hummed away behind her. She was still pale, a stark contrast to the bruising on her face.

Holding her hand in one of his, feeling her pulse and her life force running through her skin, he began to feel balanced again. Calm. He may not have been able to perform medical marvels, but healing bruises was something he knew he could do, and he waved his hand over her face, calming breathing in and out until the ugly mottled marks had disappeared and the gash was nothing.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered, “but I’ve always thought that. From the first moment I laid eyes on you in that forest,”

She continued to lie peacefully as if she was in a deep sleep.

“I haven’t lost control like that in a long time. It was…terrifying, if it wasn’t for Poe I don’t think I would have come back. A galaxy without you in it doesn’t bear thinking about. I need you to balance me, I need…” he shuddered a sigh, his voice thickening with unshed tears.

“Finn will live, I’ve been told,” he said flatly, “Rose is beside herself but…I can’t apologize for something I’m not sorry for. He tried to take my family from me. I can never apologize for protecting you,”

An unreasonable anger stirred in him and he pushed himself from the bed, pacing back and forth, breathing heavily.

“This should have been me!” he choked, “Not you. Me. Maker, Rey, why did you do it?! I could take it…Hope needs you! I need you and you just…just…”

He crumpled next to her bed on his knees, leaning on the structure for support, his head against her hand as he wept.

“Please…come back to me,” he cried quietly, “I feel so alone,”

He thought he was imaging the stirrings of her fingers stroking his hair.

“You’re not alone,”


	23. Chapter 23

Poe walked into the room quietly, the machines beeping and humming in the background, keeping track of the patient lying in the bed.

They had done the best they could with Finn’s face. The blood had been washed away, cuts and abrasions had been sealed and dressed but the broken bones and swelling still had his face contorted at abnormal angles. His right eye was swollen all the way shut from his broken eye socket.

“Finn, can you hear me?” Poe said quietly. Slowly Finn’s good eye opened, bloodshot and glassy.

“Poe? Is that you?” Finn croaked, immobile on the bed. Poe walked closer to the bed.

“It’s me,” He replied, “How do you feel?”

“Great. I’d go home right now if they’d let me…” Poe sighed.

“I don’t think you’re going anywhere for a while buddy,” Poe said, “Finn…what did you do?”

The other man lay silently, the only hint that he was thinking was his eye moving and taking in his surroundings.

“I…I don’t know how I got so out of control,” he breathed, “I thought I knew how it was. I thought I knew how everything was…”

“You abducted Rey and her child, you threatened to kill them, both…what the kriff was even going through your head?!” Finn let out a shuddery sigh, his face laced with pain.

“Besides you, Rey was one of the first people I had met who had seen me for me…she didn’t know about my past, she didn’t care, she just…accepted me. She was the brightest thing I’d ever seen. I had to protect her. I trusted her, and the idea that she could be…corrupted by them, I couldn’t handle it,”

“She wasn’t _corrupted_!” Poe stressed, “She saw the light in him and, through something that I don’t think either of us will ever understand, they fell in love. Finn, I was with him on the Finalizer, there’s nothing fake about this, there are no mind games here. He loves her just as much as she loves him, maybe even more…you let your hatred and jealousy blind you to what your friend needed…”

“I know,”

“No, I don’t think you do!” Finn continued, “If you loved your friend as much as you claimed, then you should have stopped to think about it from her side. She didn’t _do_ this to you, imagine how hard it must have been for her?! She didn’t betray anyone, kriff, if it wasn’t for her and Ben falling in love I doubt this war would be over!”

Finn could only lie and listen to his friend’s words, tears slipping down his battered face.

“I want to see her,” he said quietly, and Poe let out an incredulous laugh.

“Now I know you’ve lost your mind,” he muttered, “There is no way you’re getting anywhere near Rey or Hope again, and not just because you’re going to stand trial, but because if you do…Ben Solo will literally rip you to pieces. I mean it, the way you are now? A fraction of the damage that man wanted to do to you,”

“But I need to talk to her…I need to explain,” Finn croaked, his voice tinged with panic. He had to tell her he was sorry, he had to hear her say that everything was okay, that she forgave him. Poe looked down at his friend in pity.

“I can’t help you this time buddy,” he said sadly, “You’re going to stand trial as soon as you’re able. I need to be honest with you, attacking a politician, abduction of a woman and her child, assault…the list goes on. Finn, it’s not going to be good for you but…we’re going to get you the help that you need too,” The other man sighed.

“Okay,” he said, “Just…can you tell Rey that…tell Rey that I’m sorry?”

Poe stared at him blankly. This man that he thought he knew looked so fragile, so broken, but the pilot couldn’t bring himself to appease him. He had gone too far and even though Poe was known for being reckless, he could never do what the man lying in front of him had done.

“Not this time, buddy,” he sighed sadly, “Not this time…”

00000

“Get back in that bed!”

Rey jumped at the sound of Ben’s mildly panicked voice as he entered her room and she spun around to face him, wincing at the sudden movement and grabbing at her bandaged side. She had been in the process of dressing out of her white gown and back into her regular clothes that had been brought to her, wearing only a pair of dark green, cropped leggings, and a plain breast band.

“Careful!” he said a little more gently, “You shouldn’t be up!”

Rey pouted at him, still holding her side as he ushered her back onto the bed.

“Ben, I feel fine…”

“Fine?” he replied with an eyebrow raised and a slightly amused smile on his face. Rey rolled her eyes.

“Fine…ish. I feel Fine-ish,” Rey said with a huff, “but I’m bored. I feel like I’ve been here forever…”

“It’s been forty-eight hours,” He drawled, “and you were shot. You’re going to stay here until a medical professional says that you’re safe to leave,”

Rey shuffled across the bed, leaving a clear space at her side.

“Well the least you can do is join me?” She suggested, patting the space next to her. Ben looked unsure.

“You know I’m not supposed to be on the bed…” he said, “I’ve already been chased off your bed once by that nurse,”

Rey giggled at the memory of her six-foot three fiancé being thoroughly told off by a scandalized nurse to get off her bed and how inappropriate it was.

“Come on, I’ll protect you from the tiny terrifying woman,” Rey jested, “Please?”

Ben rolled his eyes in good nature, kicking off his boots and removing his tunic so he was only in a plain black shirt and pants. Carefully he propped himself up against the stack of pillows on the bed, Rey immediately moving to his side and snuggling against his chest.

“See, that’s better,” she sighed happily, “Although…”

“You’re not going home yet,” he said quickly, finishing her sentence, “Just a day or so more and then I promise, we’ll go home. To our home,”

“Poor BB-9E, it must be going out of its mind with worry…” Ben couldn’t help but laugh at the notion and he found it overwhelmingly endearing that Rey, who had almost been killed, was worrying about a droid being alone.

“I’m sure it will be fine,” he said, his hands tracing across the bare skin on her back.

“I really missed you,” Rey said quietly, her head tucked under his chin, “I never thought I’d see you again,”

“I was an idiot,” Ben said, “Our friend has made sure to point it out to me on a regular basis,”

“Yes, how are things with you and Poe?” Rey asked curiously. Ben smiled thoughtfully.

“Things are…almost the way we were as teens. Almost. I believe we’ve fallen into an unspoken understanding that the past is done and we can’t change that, and we need to start again, especially with these peace talks. His sense of humor still drives me crazy but he’s become a good man. I really don’t know what I would have done without him these past months, truly,” he confessed.

Rey beamed up at him, her smile lighting up her face. They had spoken about their separation and how things had been for them. While Rey had Leia to talk to, lean on and confide in, she had worried that Ben was alone. It had warmed her heart to know that her instincts about Poe had been correct.

He may be a cocky flyboy but when it came down to it, he was a good man with a good heart and fiercely loyal. Ben had his best friend back where he belonged.

“Even if he did ask you out on a date,” He smiled as Rey giggled at him pulling him down for a kiss by the back of his neck.

What started as an innocent act grew quickly as Rey’s tongue teased his lips, pushing past for entry, his own hand making its way to her hair.

It had been so long since he had been with her intimately, their engagement celebrations cut short by her abduction, and he was painfully aware that she was next to him wearing very little, her skin tingling under his touch and their bond flaring with life.

Suddenly he found himself under her, Rey swinging her right leg over his legs and straddling his hips, his free bare hand running down her back as she moaned against him, her barely covered breasts rubbing against his chest.

This was dangerous territory, he knew that, but his body seemingly had other ideas growing hard against her, driving them both in a frenzied state of lust. After almost losing her, he needed to feel her with him, to know that she was alive and whole and completely his.

But he couldn’t do it, not here in her hospital bed and especially not when she was still injured. Reluctantly he pulled away, breathing heavily.

“Rey, stop…” he breathed, “We can’t…not like this,”

Rey blinked at him, her breathing rough between well-kissed lips, her cheeks flushed, disappointment in her eyes. She was practically pouting, and she rested her forehead on his.

“but I’ve _missed_ you,” she whined. Ben leaned forward to kiss her chastely.

“and I’ve missed you,” he stressed, “You have NO idea how much, but we can’t, not here…I’m not going to explain to a doctor that I was the reason you relapsed! Just…let’s get you home first and then I promise I am all yours,”

Rey smiled sadly, still pouting but nodded in agreement. She knew he was right, and besides, if the First Minister was caught fooling around in his fiancée's hospital bed only days after she was shot, the holonet would have a field day. They were already Coruscant’s favorite couple of the moment and she really didn’t want to give them any more reason to gossip.

“Alright, just one more kiss and I’ll behave myself,” she grinned and who was he to deny her anything when she smiled at him the way she did?

Pulling her back to him, he kissed her deeply at an agonizingly slow pace as if memorizing every sensation that she brought about in him. She invaded his senses, soothed his ragged edges, her light bleeding into his darkness as he bled into her. It was a balance that still mystified him.

His attention was pulled away from her when he heard someone clear their throat from the doorway and a very amused Poe Dameron stood leaning against the frame, his eyebrow raised and his eyes dancing.

“Oh, First Minister Solo…whatever will we do with you?” Poe quipped in mock disappointment.

Ben scowled at the man, only causing him to erupt in laughter and a blush to rise on Ben’s cheeks while Rey laughed along with him, carefully climbing off his lap and settling herself against his side.

“Making out with your girlfriend and on her hospital bed no less? Do I have to fetch the nurse?!” Poe continued to mock. Ben rolled his eyes.

“What can we do for you Poe?” he asked dryly while Poe continued to chuckle at his own wit.

“The New Republic reps want to have a quick word with you. Now that things have settled down, I think they want to discuss when these talks can begin again,” He said, “I was also going to see how our patient was doing but from the looks of things you’re absolutely fine!”

Now it was Rey’s turn to blush at the pilot who just continued to grin at the couple. Ben sighed.

“I was wondering when they would grow impatient. Alright, I’ll speak to them, they’ve been incredibly supportive so it’s the least I can do,” he said, gently peeling Rey from his side and hopping down off the bed while she pulled a pillow down to replace where he had been, wrapping her arms around the soft cushion.

He pulled on his boots and his tunic, straightening his clothes and smoothing his well-handled hair before turning back to Rey and kissing her lightly.

“I’ll be back,” he said with a sad smile, leaving the room to deal with the politicians. Rey watched him go, her eyes full of longing. Poe smirked at her.

“and here I was blaming him, the poor guy didn’t stand a chance…”

“Oh, shut up…”

00000

Rose’s hands were trembling when she entered Finn’s room.

It had taken a lot of convincing for the guards to let her in and eventually she had to fetch Poe who insisted that he waited outside until she was done with whatever it was she needed to do.

She still barely recognized him, but the treatments he had received had helped with a lot of the swelling at least. His right eye was finally able to open again, but his bones were still broken causing his face to be contorted. Rose sucked in a breath at the sight, sniffing back the tears that were threatening to fall.

Just when she thought she was all cried out.

After leaving Poe and Ben, Rose had gone back to her lodgings at the New Republic embassy and locked herself in her room. She had to be alone, to process what had happened, but all she had really done was play the holonet on loop, listening to all the things they were saying he did.

As she approached the bed, he began to stir, recognizing that someone was in the room with him and his bleary eyes opened. Whatever pain medication they had him on was making his senses foggy, but he saw her face and smiled sadly.

“Hey you,” he whispered. Rose stared down at him without returning his smile.

“Hey,” She said, “How are you feeling?”

“Physically, like I’ve been shot out of an airlock,” he said, “Mentally…I don’t even know where to begin…”

“Please tell me it’s not true, Finn…tell me you didn’t do it…” Rose choked.

She hadn’t wanted to cry, not again. She had told herself she would come in and be strong, ask him for the truth and accept whatever he had to say but now, seeing him lying there with the truth written on his face, she couldn’t stop herself. It was too much.

“They’re saying you abducted Rey and her baby,” she continued, “That you…just tell me it’s not true and I’ll believe you!”

His silence said more to her than any words he could have said. A strangled sob escaped Rose’s throat, Finn’s own eyes welling with tears.

“I’m so sorry, Rose,” He dismayed, “I got so lost and I couldn’t find my way back…”

“Didn’t you stop to think about…anything? Did I even cross your mind at all?!” she begged.

“Deep down somewhere, I knew what I was doing wasn’t going to fix things but…when I knew the truth, every time I saw Rey…I thought about them. I thought about what they had done to me, the worlds they have conquered, the lives they had destroyed, and I thought…I couldn’t let that happen to us too. I thought they were going to take everything I loved away from me again…including you,” he said roughly, his own tears spilling over his lashes.

“And now?”

“Now…it’s all like some kind of horrible fever dream. It was like watching myself do these things and I was screaming at myself to stop but I wasn’t listening and…I’m still so lost…” he said dismayed.

Rose swallowed, inhaling deeply. The man she loved was still there, she could see that. He had fallen to a different kind of darkness and he needed help to find his way again.

Tentatively, she reached out to him, gently holding his hand in hers, giving him a squeeze.

“I love you, you know?” She said softly, “I’ll always love you. You’re going to get help alright. That wasn’t you, not really…but there’s still going to be consequences that I’m not going to be able to save you from,”

“I know that,” he said, resigning himself to the truth of the matter, “Just…will you come and visit me? I’ve already lost my best friend, I can’t lose you too,”

Rose leaned over, kissing him on the forehead.

“I’ll visit you,”

She let go of his hand and walked from the room, the door closing behind her, and she was met by Poe leaning against the wall across from the door.

“He really did do it,” she whispered, and the man nodded gravely at her, coming off the wall to meet her, “What did the evaluation say?”

“Post-traumatic stress disorder has been the most likely cause,” Poe sighed, “They can’t deny his crime, it’s too serious just to pardon but it’s likely at the trial he’ll get sentenced to a psychiatric facility instead of military prison. He needs help more than a holding cell,” Rose nodded in agreement.

“Do you think he’ll be ‘Finn’ again?” she asked, broken.

“I hope so,”

00000

Ben watched with a grin as Rey bounded into their home with childlike wonder and enthusiasm, their daughter in her arms.

While she had been in the hospital, Ben had arranged for the final pieces of their home to be completed. All of their things had been moved into the large penthouse ready for them to move straight in as soon as Rey was well enough to leave.

To pass the time, and keep them both distracted from each other, they had both made the final changes to anything that needed to be done including Ben setting up an office so that he could work from home if need be.

Rey had been given the all clear by the doctors to resume normal day to day life, showing that she had no sign of pain. All that was left was a small circular scar on her lower stomach. Seeing her now, glowing with happiness, it was far cry from the pale woman he had cradled in his arm as she bled out on the floor in level 1997.

Hope began to fuss in Rey’s arms.

“I’m going to go and put her down,” she confirmed lightly. Ben nodded at her, watching her walk towards the nursery.

With amusement, he heard her greet BB-9E, who rolled past her with a beep, coming up to meet Ben.

“I trust you’re keeping the housekeeping droids in line?” Ben said to the spherical machine who beeped its confirmation that it had everything under control, “Good, now we’re going to want some privacy. Make sure we’re not disturbed,”

As Rey recovered, the couple had been finding it more and more difficult to keep their hands from one another. Where Ben had been reluctant at first, he hadn’t wanted to hurt her, Rey’s attention had been almost painfully aggressive in her intentions. At one point, they had almost been caught with Ben’s hand wandering south of her waistband.

He wondered if that nurse would ever allow him back in that hospital in the future.

His thoughts had been wandering most of the day. How beautiful she had looked the night he had asked her to marry him, the first time they had made love in person, how completely edible she had looked back in their shuttle, lying before him completely bare before he had made her his.

Ben suppressed a growl from low in his throat. The only thing that had stopped him from ravaging her as soon as they had boarded the private transport home was the fact their daughter was in her arms, but it comforted him to know that Rey was feeling the same. Their bond was radiating frustration on an animalistic level.

When he found her in their home, she was in their room and if she didn’t make the most beautiful sight he had seen. She had pulled her hair down, leaving the brunette waves to fall over her shoulders. More than that, the clothes she had been wearing had been discarded and replaced by delicate lace underwear that barely hid her graceful, slender body. She was lying on the bed, her head propped up by her hand as she leaned on her elbow.

Ben couldn’t prevent his jaw from hanging open in wonder, his body already reacting to the sight of her, especially when it was paired with her predatory eyes.

“Don’t you think you’re a little overdressed?” she enquired, her eyes sparkling mischievously.

He didn’t have to be told twice, practically tearing off his shirt while his boots landed in a thud across the room. Within the space of a breath, he was undressed and on the bed with her, grabbing her in a bruising kiss that she returned with the same intensity.

This is what he had been missing. Her energy, her light and it was driving him into a frenzy, his cock already solid against her thigh. She moaned against him, feeling his hand trail down her skin to find her already soaked center.

“I’ve missed you so much,” she groaned against his mouth and feeling how wet she was all he could do was groan an agreement in return.

He grabbed the edge of her underwear tearing the scrap of black lace away and throwing it somewhere across the room, as gently as his need would allow he removed his hand from her, taking hers from his hair and bringing it down so she could feel herself.

“Show me,” he commanded, his voice rough with desire and his mind a hazy mess of lust as his free hand palms her nipple through the black illusion fabric, it’s slight roughness making her nipple peak under his attention.

Nervously at first, she began to circle her clit with the pads of her fingers but soon she was giving in to her own pleasure, her eyes closed tightly as she panted against the sensations. Slowly Ben, drew back, his eyes roving over her hungrily as his own hand reached down to grab his achingly hard cock.

“You know how beautiful you look right now, touching yourself for me?” he groaned, his hand moving slowly on himself, “Did you do this when we were apart, thinking of me?”

“Yes, Gods yes,” she moaned, grinding against her own had.

The sight of her lying back on their bed, wearing only a scrap of black lace while pleasuring herself was almost enough to make him come there and then. She was panting hard, her ragged breaths soon giving way to loud moans. She was close, and he knew it.

“Don’t come,” He commanded, and her eyes snapped open to stare at him, her hand stilling, “No, keep going…but I don’t want you to come, not yet…”

She did as he asked, growling in frustration, the tension in her hips critical and he held her eyes watching her with an almost feral need.

“Please Ben…”

“Please what?” he said, his voice low and gravely, the sound only intensifying her need.

“Please let me…I’m so close…”

He had tortured them both enough and with an untamed, animalistic growl he leaped forward onto her, kissing her desperately and swallowing their moans as he pushed into her.

He set a punishing pace as he thrust into her, Rey’s hips moving to meet every one of them. She was gasping beneath him, her eyes unfocused.

He lifted one of the legs, her ankle coming to rest on his shoulder and he can see how he disappears against her perfect center. He knows he should worry about being too rough with her but the sight of him driving into her pushes him past the point of caring and the loud moans she’s making tell him she feels the same way.

“Yes, maker, yes! Give me everything!” she moaned, “I want you to come!”

“You’re so tight Rey,” he groaned, grabbing her other leg and pushing them both so they were against her chest as he leans forward, hammering into her. He’d never been so deep before and he could feel every ridge of her walls tightening around him.

“I love you, Ben! I love you so much,” she keened.

He felt her begin to wave against him and she became incomprehensible as she came undone around him, her own pleasure pulling him to the edge and he roared his own release while she milked him through it.

Breathing in gulps and covered in sweat, he pulled himself from her with a groan, carefully dropping her legs and coming to lie next to her on the bed, pulling her to his chest with a kiss so intense it almost rivaled the first of their evening. She grinned against him, her hand tenderly stroking his face as she looked into his eyes, pushing some of his damp black hair from his forehead.

“Black is a very good color on you,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we finally get back to a little tender smutty action ;)


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How dedicated am I to updating? Well it's 3am here and I just got in from a club and I'm STILL giving you a new chapter ;) Don't say I'm not good to you.
> 
> Enjoy some fluff!

Ben hadn’t wanted to leave Rey or Hope that morning.

After a blissful few days simply playing house with his family, Ben was reminded he was First Minister Solo and he had agreed that the peace talks would continue. The evening before he had accepted it, taking some time in his office to read through some files and compile a few notes that may be helpful.

However, the next morning kissing his girls’ goodbye for the day left him feeling a little hollow. Only the occasional flash of warmth through their consistently open bond was keeping him sane as he entered the New Republic embassy.

“Good morning Son,” he heard Leia great him with a smile which he returned, kissing her on the cheek, “You look like you’re ready for this,”

“I am,” he replied honestly, “I’ve been doing some thinking about what you said on the subject of the Senate and I think I have a solution that may work for everyone,”

“Is that right?” she queried, “Well I look forward to hearing it. How are the girls?”

Leia smiled at him warmly, noticing how his eyes softened at the thought of them. She would never have thought that they would have made it to this point, talking again, mother and son, let alone asking about her grandchild and daughter-in-law to be.

“They’re wonderful,” he said fondly, “honestly, it was hard to leave them today, but I suppose duty calls,”

“It always does,” Leia said regarding him wistfully, “I know I made a lot of mistakes in that department…but I also know you’ll do better than I did,”

Ben wrapped his arm around his mother’s shoulder but said nothing in reply. He couldn’t tell her that she hadn’t made mistakes, that she had been the perfect parent, but it was a sign that just as she had forgiven him, he had also forgiven her.

“So, when is this wedding then?” she asked curiously, changing the subject, “I’m quite eager to see her make an honest man out of you,” she said winking at him.

“We want to get married as soon as possible but I’ve been advised that our wedding would be good publicity. A tangible symbol of the First Order and the Resistance coming together to end the war,” he replied with some distaste. He wasn’t thrilled at the idea of his marriage to Rey being used as a publicity stunt.

“and what do you want?” Ben sighed, shoving his hair out of his face.

“I just want my wife,” he said honestly. Leia patted him on the cheek.

“Then you two get married however you like, wherever you like,” she said, “I’ve heard Naboo is lovely this time of year…”

“Who’s going to Naboo? Are we going to Naboo?” Ben rolled his eyes at the sound of his friend’s voice.

“Haven’t you heard that eavesdropping is rude?” Ben said, and Poe grinned at him.

“So I’ve been told but I’ve never been one for paying attention to that particular rumor,” he jibed, “Besides, I’d miss out on all the best gossip if I didn’t,”

“You know, it’s amazing that I haven’t killed you…” Ben wondered.

“Well…it’s not been for lack of trying,” Poe chuckled, “Oh come on, I’m kidding! You know where we stand, the past in the past and all that. Besides, you know you would miss me,” Ben smirked at him.

“I suppose it would be a shame to deprive the Resistance of their second-best pilot,”

“Second best!?”

“Now we’re working together and I’m back, I think you’ll find I’m taking my rightful spot as the first…although, Rey is an exceptional flier as well, so maybe you’re third,” Poe grinned at the challenge.

“Oh, we’re playing this game today…how about we head down to the hanger and…”

“BOYS!” Leia interjected loudly, the two men snapping their attention towards her. They had the good grace to look ashamed.

“While it’s wonderful you’re both back together, can you both remember that we have some very important talks to attend to…honestly…” She said firmly, rolling her eyes at the men in front of her before walking past them into the hall to take her seat.

Both Ben and Poe continued to look reprimanded as they followed her inside, taking their own seats.

“The chair would like to welcome everyone back, particularly Minister Organa and First Minister Solo,” the chairman announced, calling the room to order, “The chair recognizes First Minister Solo to speak first,”

Ben stood to address the room.

“We all know that the Senate didn’t work. It allowed unelected officials and monarchs to do as they pleased, for slavery and underworld bosses like the Hutt’s to rise. We cannot go back to that,”

He pressed a few buttons on the console attached to his table, bringing up a map of the galaxy divided into sections.

“My proposal is that we divide the galaxy into ten areas. Each area will have its own council with a representative from each of the planets it contains. These representatives will be elected by the people of the planets, not by royal bloodline, and in turn, each council will have one representative at a new embassy based here on Coruscant,” he explained, the map lighting up as he went on.

“I’m not saying this will be a quick transition. A lot of royals will be reluctant to relinquish power, but in time, I believe this will ensure representation for all people,” Leia smiled and nodded in agreement.

“and who will see this through? The First Order?” She enquired. Ben shook his head.

“All of us,” he answered simply, “No more First Order, no more Resistance, and the New Republic. I’m proposing combining all our forces to create something new. The New Galactic Order,”

“Who will control this?” someone else asked.

“I can’t speak for Minister Organa, but until elected officials are put in place, we will oversee the formation of the new government,” he said, the room breaking into murmurs. Leia stood with a satisfied smile on her face.

“I believe this can work, and I would be happy to stand with First Minister Solo until this government is formed officially,” she confirmed.

“What about when it’s completed?”

“When it’s completed, unless officially elected by the people, we will step down. It’s as simple as that,” Ben said firmly, pleased by the satisfied looks and nods among the delegates from both sides.

“And you would be happy to give up that kind of power?” one of the resistance members asked skeptically. Ben nodded, his face impassive.

“Absolutely. This is a new order, it’s not about one person vying for power, especially not me,” he said proudly. He looked towards the chairman for his go ahead.

“All those in favor, say aye,”

“Aye,”

The room resonated with the echo of everyone in agreement and Ben couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so accomplished. His mother was beaming proudly at him and he was sure he felt the last fracture piece of his soul fit back into place.

The rest of the day was spent discussing particulars like how they would combine their military units and how they would be distributed to other planets, how royals on certain planets would be devolved to ceremonial positions and other various financial aspects of the New Galactic Order.

By the time the meeting was finished, everyone was in a jovial mood and Poe slapped Ben on the back, wrapping his arm around the shoulders of his friend.

“Come on First Minister, I believe a drink is in order!”

00000

“Chewie, if your arms are getting tired you can put Hope in the nursery,” Rey said smiling fondly as her infant daughter was sleeping soundly in the wookie’s arms. As quietly as he could, Chewbacca replied that he was fine, and he didn’t want to disturb her.

Rey felt a swell of love towards her friends. Growing up, she would have given anything to have so many people care for her in that way, and it warmed her heart to know that Hope, even only weeks old was so loved by so many people.

“Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. She may be small, but she gets heavy over time!” she said, and Chewbacca gave her a skeptical look. Of course, a wookie with his strength wouldn’t mind carrying someone so small. She was certain he had carried weapons heavier than Hope.

The evening had descended on Coruscant, the sky painted bright oranges and pinks in the setting sun bathing their balcony gardens and living room in a comforting orange glow. Rey looked up from her book at the holonet that chattered quietly in the background.

“News from the New Republic today has reported that there has been a breakthrough in peace negotiations. An official treaty will be drawn and signed by all parties at a ceremony in the coming weeks to declare the beginning of the New Galactic Order,”

Rey smiled to herself. She already knew that an agreement had been made, Ben had told her, another piece of their new life falling into place. He had also told her there was a chance he would be later home than expected, several delegates wanting to celebrate their new union with a toast. She didn’t mind, he deserved to celebrate.

As she began to read again, the faint sound of voices could be heard from their door and she frowned, putting the book down. A tension ran through her body, after everything, Rey was still a little jumpy. It was one of the reasons Chewbacca had remained by her side, her own personal protector when Ben wasn’t with her.

The voices were getting louder.

“Chewie…do you hear…singing?!”

The front door opened to an extremely slurred, off-key chorus provided by none other than Ben Solo and Poe Dameron, arms around each other’s shoulders, swaying from side to side as they walked. The sudden racket woke Hope with a start, the roused infant breaking into a chorus of her own.

Rey scowled looking between the men and her upset daughter, Chewbacca mirroring her sentiments with a growl of his own.

“Chewie, please take hope to the nursery. Maybe close the door so she can actually sleep!” Rey sighed, standing up to approach the two who were barely holding in their laughter as Ben tried to shush Poe.

“And just what do you two think you’re doing?!” Rey exclaimed, “Ben Solo! Your daughter was sleeping! Are…you drunk?!”

Rey smirked at them. It was hard to stay angry at the sight of once best friends, turned sworn enemies turned friends again when they were giggling like teenagers who had been caught in their parent’s liquor cabinet.

“We may have had one or two glasses of Coruscant’s finest to toast our success!” Poe slurred, “I tried to match Benny boy here drink for drink...he’s really large, Rey, did you know Ben was large?!”

Rey nodded, her hand over her mouth to cover her laugh.

“It’s come to my attention,” she said. Ben stumbled forward, bleary-eyed and smiling like an idiot.

“We’re sorry for waking Hope…” he said, tripping over his own syllables, “I may have had a leeeetle too much to drink!” he giggled, and Rey stared at him incredulously.

Since when did Ben Solo giggle?!

Rey wrapped his large arm around her shoulders as Chewbacca walked back into the hallway, his disapproving eyes raking over them, shaking his head.

“Chewie, can you get Poe on the sofa?” Rey said nodding to the pilot who was steadying himself against the wall, singing under his breath. She looked affectionately at Ben.

“Come on big guy, let’s get you to bed,” He grinned at her, his drunk eyes twinkling.

“I like the sound of that…”

“to SLEEP,” she said firmly, “Kriff, I didn’t know I’d have to look after three children tonight…”

Slowly and with difficulty given their size and strength difference, Rey maneuvered Ben to their bedroom, eventually letting him fall back onto their bed. She huffed a laugh at him, pulling off his boots. She climbed onto their huge bed next to him.

“Sit up, I need to get your clothes off,” she laughed, holding him by the shoulders and pulling him as hard as she could, but it was useless. He suddenly grabbed her, pulling her down on top of him, holding her against his chest with a yelp.

“My Rey, my beautiful Rey…” he crooned drunkenly, his large dark eyes trained on her face.

She sighed with a smile. Of all the things she could have predicted in her life with Ben, this wouldn’t have been one of them. He smelled like a mixture of trillium flower soap, Correlian rum and his own familiar scent that was just him, and she couldn’t help but nuzzle against his neck for a moment. Even just for the day she had missed him, she always did when he was gone.

“Come on you, we need to get you undressed,” she said, pushing herself up and returning to her efforts. This time he sat up for her and allowed her to pull off his tunic before she returned to the floor to pull off his pants, leaving him in his boxers.

“Well you’re going to have to get yourself under the sheets,” she said, “I can’t lift you. You’re twice my size!”

“Do you think my Dad is watching us right now?” He slurred, and she paused. He rarely spoke about Han.

“Perhaps,” she said, “I like to think those we lost are always watching over us,”

“Do you think he’d be proud of me?” he said softly, his eyes closing.

It didn’t matter what we did in life, Rey thought sadly, it always came down to wanting approval from the people you loved the most. She knew Ben missed his father, especially now he had a daughter of his own. Rey smiled softly, climbing back onto the bed and kissing him, ignoring the taste of alcohol on his breath.

“Your father would be so proud of you,” she said, pushing his messy hair out of his eyes and she realized that Ben had fallen asleep.

“and if he could see you now, he’d be laughing his ass off…”

00000

With Chewbacca’s help, Ben had been put to bed properly and was still fast asleep and snoring when Rey woke in the morning to feed Hope. As she left the room she had to stifle a laugh at him lying with his pillow over his head having drunkenly decided that was the best way to sleep.

She padded barefoot through their home with a smile on her face, her daughter tucked happily against her chest as she entered the kitchen, preparing a large pot of caf. Maker knows the boys were going to need it.

A loud grown, followed by the thud of a body rolling from the sofa and hitting the floor was heard from the living room and she giggled, not bothering to look towards the sound. She was too preoccupied with her daughter and bottle in her hand.

A minute later, Poe shuffled into the kitchen, still in his clothes from the night before but without his boots. His eyes were bloodshot with deep dark circles set against his pale skin. He blinked at Rey who smirked back, saying nothing but pointing to the caf pot. He nodded and continued to shuffle past her, grabbing a cup.

“Do I even have to ask how you feel this morning?” She quipped, still smiling down at her daughter as the baby finished her morning feed.

“Remember how I told you what it felt like to be interrogated?” Poe groaned, “Well…this is worse,”

“You two were in some state last night!” Poe looked at her sheepishly over the top of his mug, the smell making his stomach turn.

“Ah, yeah…sorry about that,” he said, “A toast turned into two and then Leia mentioned she had some choice drinks and we joined her…”

“Leia?!” Rey said, “Don’t tell me you got that woman drunk too!”

“Us?! She started it!” Poe exclaimed, “Leia was the one who pulled out that Corelian rum…after that things get a little hazy,”

“Well I hope she’s in a better state than you. She’s coming with me to get my wedding dress today!”

They were joined in the kitchen by Ben, bare chested and barefooted, wearing only a pair of black loose sleeping pants. His hair was a mess and his face resembled Poe’s.

“Good morning my love!” Rey chirped with exaggerated cheer, “How do you feel?”

“Like I’m going to die…” he moaned, his throat rough and he walked straight past the caf to the fridge to pull out a glass bottle of water.

“You both seemed to have a good time at least,” she said, “Hope certainly thought so…” Ben looked at her apologetically.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know we’d get into that state,” he said, moving back over to Rey. He tried to bend down to kiss Hope on the forehead, but Rey moved her out of the way.

“Ah, no. Do not kiss your daughter when you still smell like a Hutt cantina!” she scolded lightly, “You can apologize to Hope properly when you’ve had a shower,” Ben at least had the good grace to look sheepish while Poe laughed.

“I don’t know what you’re laughing at. Chewie was the one who put you to bed on our sofa, so you’ll need to apologize to him when he’s awake!” Poe immediately stopped laughing.

A buzzing sound rang through the air signaling that someone had come up on their private elevator to their front balcony.

“Damn, what time is it? I think I’m late!” Rey said, “BB, can you please get the door? Tell them we’re in the kitchen if it’s someone we know!” she called to the droid who bleeped its acknowledgment and rolled off towards the entrance. Moments later the droid returned with a very worse for wear Leia Organa in tow.

“Leia? Oh Leia, not you too!” Rey sighed, lifting Hope against her shoulder and patting the baby on the back after her feed.

Leia’s eyes moved between her son and Poe before turning to Rey.

“I don’t want to talk about it…”


	25. Chapter 25

The pristine, white, light courtroom was abuzz with the murmurs and mutters of all the people who had gathered for the trial. The stands were full of Coruscant press, all clamoring for the latest exclusive, to break the news of the outcome first.

A row of serious looking men and women, all wearing the new insignia of the New Galactic Order, sat staring down at the dock. Nearby, Ben, Leia, and Poe sat, their faces grave and tense, among the other head politicians at the side.

Rey had wanted to be there. She had already given her testimony and Ben had been proud of her for being so honest about her experience. He had been worried she may have lied to save her friend, but she hadn’t. She had been completely truthful, no matter how hard it had been for her and it had been. Over a four-hour interview, she had to take many breaks, sometimes breaking down in Ben’s arms. All he could do was hold her and let her cry it out until she felt ready to continue.

It had taken all his self-control to stop himself from flying into a rage hearing everything from Rey’s point of view. She had left nothing unturned. While he had become more balanced over time since knowing Rey, since loving her, he still struggled with his pull to his darker tendencies.

In the end, Rey had decided not to come to the trial. It was unavoidable that Finn would have to stand, but she didn’t want to see her friend that way. She didn’t want to meet his eyes as they pulled him away.

The head judge, a severe-looking woman dressed all in white with her hair pulled tightly back, banged the gavel on the table, calling for order, and a hush fell over the room. Without saying anything, she nodded to a guard who left the room for a moment before returning with Finn, leading him to the dock.

Every muscle in Ben’s body went rigid seeing the man. There was pity, but it was laced with intense anger. The traitor. Not to the First Order. No, Finn had betrayed Rey in the worst way possible and a surge of protectiveness ran through him.

He felt her then, in his head, assuring him that she was fine, and he relaxed slightly.

“Finn, formally known as FN-2187, you have been charged with abduction, conspiracy and attempted man-slaughter; how do you plead?”

“Guilty,”

Finn’s emotionless voice echoed through the room, but the rest of the people remained silent. Leia let out a sigh of relief next to him. He was always going to plead guilty, she knew that. There was so much evidence against him, along with testimony from Leia, Ben, Rey and Poe, he hadn’t stood a chance if he had gone any other way.

The judge nodded.

“That makes things simple,” she said, “Given your past experiences and having looked through the medical reports, we cannot sentence you to a military prison which would be the norm in these circumstances. The court acknowledges that while you must be punished due to the severity of your crime, you also require help. You are to be sentenced to a psychological holding facility where you will receive treatment and your sentence will be reviewed in six months’ time,”  

The gavel hit the desk, ringing out once again and signaling that the sentence was final, that their word was law.

As Finn was lead from his place, he turned his head for the first time to see Ben, Leia, and Poe, his eyes locking with Ben’s. Where Leia held compassion, Poe’s sadness, Ben was a mask of cold calm.

Finn turned, allowing himself to be lead away.

00000

Leia and Rey headed out to the shopping district of level 5, to the same store that Ben had sent her to when she was gifted her engagement gown. It was still a sore spot of her experience that her beautiful dress was ruined.

“I know you’re sad about it, but I’m sure your wedding dress will be just as beautiful,” Leia assured as they stepped into the store.

“Oh my! Lady Rey and Minister Organa, we are so relieved to see that you’re well,” Amara exclaimed as they walked into the store, “We were so worried, it was all over the holonet!” Rey smiled tightly. She didn’t need to be reminded that their story was all over the news. Enough people were quick

“Thank you, Amara,” Rey said pleasantly, “We’re here for our appointment?” Amara nodded enthusiastically, her assistants appearing behind her.

“Yes! We’re ready for you and we’ve selected a few designs for you to try on!” She said, guiding Rey into the dressing room while Leia took a seat outside the curtain and Amara left them alone, telling Rey to call if she needed anything.

“I’m not really sure these are really…me…” Rey called from inside the dressing room, her nose scrunched up at the sight of the gowns. She pulled the first from the rack, fighting her way through the layers of taffeta to find her way into the garment.

“I remember when I was first introduced to this kind of dressing, it’s a little daunting but try them on first, you might surprise yourself!” Leia said, listening with amusement to Rey battling with the fabric, an occasional curse coming from behind the curtain.

“I think I need help…” Rey called, Amara appearing as if from nowhere and coming into the dressing room, helping Rey lace the tight bodice of the dress.

She had never felt so restricted in clothing before, the boned corset being pulled tighter and tighter around her body until she was gasping for breath. Amara pulled the curtain open and Rey awkwardly shuffled forward, her face a confused scowl, only growing more confused at Leia’s delighted face.

Finally, she saw herself in the mirror and her jaw hung open in horror.

“I’m a wampa…”

The dress was white with a sleeveless corset top, beaded with diamonds and silver thread into intricate patterns along the bodice which had been pulled so tightly around Rey’s body her breaths were coming in shallow gasps. From below the bodice, the skirt flared out into a huge dome of layer taffeta and tulle which Rey was sure weighed more than her.

“Nonsense, you look beautiful!” Leia laughed lightly. Rey twisted her face in response.

“I feel like I’m drowning in fabric and this top is trying to crush my ribs. There’s no way I can marry Ben in this dress! I don’t…look like myself,” She sighed, and Leia couldn’t help but agree.

While the dress was beautiful, it swamped Rey’s slender frame and she was right, she didn’t look like herself.

“Alright, well, there’s more to try so let’s get you out of that thing and you can try the next one on,” Leia suggested.

Rey took a gulping gasp of a breath when the laces on the back of her corset loosened, Amara once again leaving them in privacy.

Rey began pulling the dress off, but her thoughts began to wander. Since returning home, she had been thinking a lot about what had happened to her and the events which lead up to it. Leia had been so busy she hadn’t found a good time to ask the woman for advice that she sorely needed.

“Hey, Leia…can I ask you something?” She said from behind the curtain. Leia’s eyebrow rose in question.

“Of course, you can,”

“Do you promise that you won’t tell Ben?” Rey said awkwardly, “At least…not until I’ve spoken to him,”

“Alright…” Leia said carefully. Rey came out of the dressing room wrapped in a robe and she sat down next to her future mother-in-law.

“I…I think I want to speak with Finn…” she said quietly, unsure of how she wanted the conversation to go.

Leia regarded the younger girl curiously.

“I can see why you don’t want Ben to hear this,” she sighed, “What do you think you’ll get out of it?”

“I just need some closure on it all, I think,” Rey replied, “I’ve been racking my brains and thinking about it all over and over, but I don’t think I’ll be able to put it to rest until I heard it from Finn himself. I need to know why…and I need to know that he’s going to be alright,”

Leia smiled sadly at Rey, placing her hand gently on top of hers. It was something she had always loved about Rey, her endless compassion for others. Even after all that had happened, she still wanted the best for her friend.

“While I understand where you’re coming from, do you really think Ben is going to want you anywhere near Finn? Even if he’s in a secure facility, you know how protective he is,”

Rey nodded. Ben had always been protective, even before she really knew. His feelings during their fight in the throne room had been spinning around her, spreading through their bond like a wildfire. Something as superficial as a cut on her arm had sent his alpha male tendencies into overdrive.

_Attack me…come for me…break me…but don’t you dare touch her…_

She shivered at the memory. Rey loved being independent, but the thought of him fighting for her spread a warmth through her body.

“I know that…I was going to go without telling him,” She sighed, “But I don’t want to keep anything from him, I can’t lie to him. We promised each other, no more secrets. What should I do?”

Leia sat in thought. Rey was right, she couldn’t hide this from him.

“I think…you need to speak to him. He might be angry, he might get upset…but he’ll be far worse if you go behind his back,” she said, “I also think, you should try that one…”

Leia pointed to a gown on the rack, Rey turning to follow the direction of her hand. She grinned at the choice, jumping up and grabbing the gown and pulling it into the dressing room with her.

A moment later she emerged, and Leia gasped in delight.

The dress reminded Rey so much of the gown she had worn on her engagement night only the neckline was a deep V, sleeveless with thick straps and it hugged her body until it came to her waist, flaring out in a light floaty skirt with layers of ivory and blush pink that complimented her skin tone.

Rey could see herself with her hair gathered at the neck, fresh flowers attached, and she grinned. She was herself, only as Ben saw her.

“It’s perfect,”

00000

Rey smiled to herself, laying out her dress for the official signing ceremony that would take place the next day. It was a simple gown in a jade green shade that she just adored, simple, but formal enough for the soon-to-be wife of the First Minister.

She was nervous about it all, their first public appearance since her abduction since they had been announced to the galaxy as a couple. There was a lot of pressure on her shoulders, but as much as she felt it, she knew it was worse for Ben.

She had put Hope down to sleep an hour ago, Ben heading to his office for some last minute official preparations. He always made a point of spending time with his family as soon as he returned home from the embassy. It made Rey feel warm at the thought, how he would come in, throw his coat on their bed before coming through and taking Hope in his arms, always with the biggest smile on his face.

He would play with their daughter, pressing light kisses to her and delighting in the giggling sounds she made at him, all the while asking Rey about her day. When she made her way to the kitchen, sometimes he would follow her, catching her around the waist and pressing her against the wall, silencing their laughter with searing kisses that would them almost forget about the food that was being prepared.

But he was a busy man and preparing a whole new government structure took work. Rey never begrudged him having to spend time in his office. It was better than him never being home and his dedication to his girls was always evident.

She padded down the hall towards his office, nervous about the conversation she was about to have with him, but it had to be done. She pulled the black silk robe tighter around herself as she walked, fidgeting with the ties until she came to the doorway.

The door was lying open and she leaned against the frame to watch him.

His tunic had been abandoned in favor of a loose black shirt and he was sitting with his head in his hand, leaning on the desk, reading over a datapad. She smiled at the sight of him, his dark eyes moving as he read. He paused, sensing he was being watched and his eyes flicked up, his whole face softening when he saw her.

“I’m sorry, I know I’m later than I said I’d be…” he said, clearing his throat.

“It’s alright, I know you’ve got a lot on your mind for tomorrow,” she said lightly, “Actually there was something I wanted to talk to you about,” He put the pad on the table, giving her his full attention.

“What’s wrong?” He asked softly. She shook her head, making her way towards him.

She didn’t want the desk to separate them like it was some kind of meeting. She stood in front of him as he sat, close enough that he could reach out and hold her hands.

“I want to talk to Finn,” she said quietly.

The smile from Ben’s face fell and was replaced with a wary tension, his jaw working as he took in what she had said to him.

“Why?” He asked carefully, his voice only shaking slightly but still betraying his unsteady thoughts.

Rey took a deep breath. So far, so good, she thought. She could feel the mixture of emotions he was trying to hide from her. Anger, fear, worry and above all a fierce animal protectiveness, like a wolf protecting its mate.

“I need closure on all this,” she said, “I know it’s over, but I can’t put things to rest until I know that Finn’s alright…”

“It’s HE’S alright?!” Ben snapped suddenly. He didn’t shout but he raised his voice, standing and pacing the room, his hands running through his hair, “He kidnaps you and Hope, he tries to separate us, he almost KILLED you…and you want to know if he’s alright?!”

Rey stood quietly, patiently. Ben needed to get this out of his system, cutting him off would do no good so she let him talk until he seemed like he was finished.

“I know all that, I do!” She pressed, “But he was a …is…my friend. He was my first real friend and that was no the Finn I know,”

“Rey…”

“No, Ben,” She said gently, stopping him in his pacing and reaching up to hold his face, forcing him to look at her, “Until I hear it from him, I won’t be able to put this behind us and I want that…I want that before we get married,”

“The idea of you being anywhere near him again…”

“I know,” She soothed, her hands stroking the worry from his face, “I know you just want to protect me but…you need to trust me…”

He observed her, the resolve on her face that he knew wouldn’t leave. He sighed in defeat.

“On one condition…” He said, her smile filling him with warmth, “I’m coming with you,”

“I was hoping to speak with him alone,” She said tentatively, and Ben nodded. He had already felt that would be her answer, but this was something he couldn’t budge on.

“You can speak with him alone…but I’ll be there, in the building with you,” He said firmly. Rey nodded at him in agreement, her smile returning, kissing him deeply.

“Look at you, learning to compromise,” She teased, and he sighed.

“Hmm, apparently so,” He drawled, “I can’t say I care more for it…”

“Well I do,” she replied, grabbing him by the collar with a wicked smile, “Come on…come to bed, I promise you won’t have to make any compromises there,”

The smile he gave her was genuine although his worry remained, he ignored it, feeling giddy as she dragged him by the shirt back to their bedroom.

00000

It was so much grander than Rey had expected.

The streets of Coruscant were lined with people, all pushing and trying to get a better view at the front of the embassy, the New Galactic Order headquarters. The building where the new government would reside.

Holocams floated everywhere. There confetti and streamers seemed to float endlessly in the air along with music and cheering. Ben and Leia both sat at ease in the transport, but Rey continued to fidget. Of course, they were fine, she thought. Leia was a princess, raised with this kind of attention and she supposed Ben was as well. The realization hit her like a hammer in the chest and she didn’t stop fidgeting until Ben placed his gloved hand on hers.

“Are you alright?” he asked softly in concern. She forced a smile and nodded.

“Yes, fine. Absolutely fine,” she lied.

The transport stopped at the walkway and lead to the platform where the new declaration of peace sat, waiting to be signed by Leia and Ben while Rey was to sit with the other delegates, smiling politely and demurely.

She wished she was at home with Chewbacca and Hope, or at training with her saber, anything to save her from this strange pantomime she found herself in.

Ben left the transport first, offering his hand to his mother and helping her step down before turning to Rey. She blinked at his hand for a moment before realizing that she had to take it. He gazed at her curiously before he became First Minister Solo for the cameras and they walked towards to podium.

For all the pomp and circumstance, Rey couldn’t believe how quickly the whole thing was over. Leia and Ben both made a big show of signing the declaration, Leia then making a speech to the people and it was only when the crowd erupted into thunderous applause did Rey snap out of her trance.

They began to walk arm in arm into the building, holocameras flashing at them the whole time but once they were safely inside, Rey found herself suddenly pulled into a small alcove away from prying eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked seriously. Rey blinked at him, still in surprise from the sudden change of direction.

“Nothing’s wrong…” She replied, feigning nonchalance. Ben didn’t buy it for a moment.

“Garbage. I can feel that there’s something wrong, or did you forget that?” he quipped. Rey rolled her eyes and sighed.

“It’s just…all of this!”

“What? The ceremony?” he said in confusion. Rey huffed.

“Not just the ceremony! All of it, this!” She said gesturing around her with her arms, “The cameras, the fancy outfits, the banquet we’re about to go to…you’re an honest to gods prince…”

“I’m a what?” he said staring at her blankly.

“A prince. Your mother was a princess and, obviously, she raised a prince…and in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m NOT a princess and you’re just so at home with all of this, I don’t know how I’m ever going to fit!” He placed his hands on either side of her face, calming her frantic ranting.

“First of all…I’m not a prince, not officially. Second, I am not at home with all of this…I hate it!”

“Really?” she asked in a small voice. He smiled at her gently.

“Really. I may have been raised around it, I may play at being comfortable, but I can’t stand the theatrics of it all, that’s just modern politics. You can’t have one without the other,” He sighed,

“And last of all, but most importantly, you don’t have to be anything other than yourself. I fell in love with you, just you,” He kissed her, allowing her to melt against him.

“Does that mean we don’t have to go to the banquet tonight?” She asked hopefully, and he huffed a laugh, his breath puffing some hair away from his face.

“Well…no,” He sighed, “We have to be at this one, but how about I sit you next to Poe? Won’t that be fun?”

Rey scowled at him as he led her back out of the alcove towards the procession of people, leading them into the banquet hall.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my name is Polkadotdotdot. Sometimes I write dramatic angst, sometimes I write fluff and other times I write smutty smut smut.
> 
> Enjoy!

The celebrations were far more enjoyable than Rey had expected, at least, they were once she had relaxed with a glass of wine. Dinner was finished, and the tables had been moved to the side of the room, opening the ballroom dancefloor.

As the fiancée of the First Minister, it had been part of Rey’s duties to mingle and dance with several high-ranking officials. The first dance had obviously been saved for Ben, but the second man she had danced with was an older gentleman with white hair and a kind face. He hadn’t even seemed to mind that Rey was still unsure of her feet, leading her across the floor with experience.

Leia had given her a crash course in formal dancing before the day but when Chewbacca was her dance partner, the size difference was more than a little jarring.

As the night carried on, Rey was dancing with a younger gentleman with sandy hair. He had approached her with the kind of bravado that reminded her of a young Poe Dameron and she accepted his hand, allowing him to twirl her onto the floor.

Ben was leaning against the wall when he was approached by Poe who handed him a drink.

“Rey looks beautiful tonight,” Poe commented, taking a sip of his drink.

“She does,” Ben agreed, his voice soft but his face severe.

“Uh oh, am I going to have to clear up some blood this evening? We just made peace as well…”

“What are you talking about?” Ben sighed, drinking his own wine, allowing the alcohol to fog his mind somewhat. Poe chuckled.

“That kid dancing with Rey. The way you’re glaring at him, I’ve got a feeling his head and his body are going to end up on two different sides of the room…” he laughed, and Ben rolled his eyes.

“Nonsense…choking is far easier,” Poe stilled.

“See, I can’t tell if you’re kidding…”

“Will you relax, I’m obviously joking,” he said with a smug smile, continuing to watch the young man carefully, “Perhaps,”

“Please don’t kill anyone Ben, I don’t want to end my night having to help you hide a body…”

As they twirled, Ben caught the fair man’s eyes and watched with a degree of satisfaction as his hand moved a little higher on Rey’s waist away from the curve of her hip, a sheepish look on his face. Ben would be the first to admit that he was more than a little possessive. The idea of another man touching what he felt was his made his blood boil. Dancing was one thing, he knew it was part of the act, that she couldn’t turn them down without causing offense, especially on such a big night, but the way some of these men were looking at her made him uncomfortable.

She always looked beautiful to him, but tonight she was resplendent in her teal gown, her hair twisted into a delicate low bun, showing off her long neck. The dress was cut into a V at the front but an even lower V at the back, showing an expanse of smooth skin. Combined with the drinks he had already downed; the effect was making him dizzy with desire and jealousy simmered in his blood at the sight of any man near her.

“First Minister,” a feminine voice pulled his attention away, “It’s an honor to finally speak with you. My name is Keelah Salai, I’m the representative from Lothal,”

Ben smiled politely at the dark-skinned woman. Her black hair was pulled back into a series of braids which fell down her bare back to the edge of her long, golden, strapless dress. She was attractive in a strikingly powerful way, her cat-like eyes lined in dark black and her iris’ matching her dress. For all he was inexperienced, Ben had seen women like her before. Those who would try and hook a high-ranking politician or monarch for their own gain. She was standing just a little too close to him, her perfume just a little too strong.

“Nice to meet you,” Ben replied somewhat awkwardly, “This is my friend, Poe Dameron,” he nodded towards his slack-jawed friend who blinked clumsily before greeting the woman. She politely greeted Poe but soon turned her attention back to Ben.

“It will not do for the First Minister to spend his whole evening against the wall, not when there is such good music playing,” She said lightly, her voice like music.

Ben wanted to frown but he forced his face to remain in its pleasant, political mask. He knew a hint when he saw one and he couldn’t afford to offend any officials. He handed Poe his glass.

“Of course, would you care for a dance?” he said politely offering his hand, and the woman smiled smugly as she took it.

Ben suppressed an eye roll at her expression.

_It’s just a dance…try not to get too excited…_

As Ben walked onto the dance floor with the stranger, Poe had noticed that Rey had left and was making her way to him, gulping down a large blue cocktail.

“Hey there, what’s that you’re drinking?” he said, and she held up the glass to inspect it further.

“Not sure, something they invented for the occasion. It’s rather strong though,” she said wincing at the slight burn it gave her throat. She wasn’t wrong. She had already drunk three and she was starting to feel the effects.

“Where’s Ben?” she asked, and Poe nodded onto the dance floor where Rey spied her fiancé and the other woman.

A deep frown darkened Rey’s face at the sight. The woman was beautiful and so different to how Rey looked. Her dark skin accentuated her curved hips and the swell of her breasts, all wrapped in stunning, shimmering gold fabric. She was as close to Ben as she could reasonably be, her hands gripping his shoulders.

“Oh…who…is that?” Rey stammered her jaw tense. Poe shuffled awkwardly.

“Some representative from Lothal,” he answered, “No big deal. You had to dance with people, Ben has to dance with people. Nature of the game, right?” The woman tipped her head back laughing at something Ben had said, her laughter ringing like a bell.

“Does she have to stand so close to him…” Rey muttered. Poe sighed.

“Listen, I’ve already played the jealousy game with one of you tonight, I don’t think I have it in me for round two,” he quipped, and Rey just continued to scowl, watching the woman as she smiled at him, batting her eyelashes and flashing her perfect pout. Rey drained the last of her drink.

He was particularly handsome this evening in his dress coat, cape, and gloves. Black, of course, but lined with a silver trim. Throughout the day she had taken sly glances at him, appreciating how he looked and delighting that he was all hers but now, well now there was someone else in his arms and Rey, who normally took pride in being rational, felt the hot sting of jealousy running through her veins.

“I’m going over there…” she said, putting her empty glass down. Poe said nothing only covering his face with his hand in exasperation.

Those two would drive him to an early grave, he was sure of it.

Rey walked across the floor as the music began to come to an end, tapping the woman on the shoulder. She turned around, the sickly-sweet smile fading from her lips and she boldly looked Rey up and down.

“I believe you’ve kept my fiancé from me long enough,” Rey purred, her expression cool while Ben raised an eyebrow at her tone.

“Oh, Lady Rey, I didn’t realize…” the woman stuttered, her eyes widening in mild panic. Rey smiled, and it reminded Ben of a predator.

“and now you do. So, if you’d kindly step away from the First Minister,” she said, watching the woman attempt to scurry away, “Oh and a word of advice, if you’re going to try and hunt for an advantageous connection, probably best to try for smaller prey…” The woman flushed and walked off the dance floor as quickly as her feet would carry her.

As the music began for the next song, Ben swept Rey against him for the dance.

“That wasn’t very nice,” he said, amused. Rey didn’t return his smile, looking away from him, “What’s wrong?”

“I think you know…”

“I don’t actually,” Rey scowled at him, ignoring how she felt in his arms as they moved to the music, how comforting he smelled, or how his eyes got that bit darker when he was looking at her.

“Dancing with that woman,” she huffed as they continued to move around the floor.

“I wasn’t aware you knew her,”

“I know how she looked…and I know exactly what she was thinking when she was looking at you and fluttering those ridiculous fake lashes,” Rey snapped. Ben smirked at her.

“You’re jealous,” he said simply causing Rey to scoff.

“I am not…”

“You are,” he confirmed, leaning closer to her ear, “Now why would I want something like that when all I’ve wanted to do all evening is rip that dress of yours off with my teeth?”

Rey sucked in a sharp breath at his word, how low and gravely his voice was, his hot breath on her ear causing heat and desire to bloom deep within her, exacerbated by the possessive jealousy that the woman he had been dancing with brought out in her.

“Is that right? What else have you wanted to do?” she asked, the shakiness of her words betraying the confidence on her face.

He looked away from her, his eyes scanning over the crowd as he gently twirled her across the floor. Suddenly her head was flooded with images from him, both naked on their bed, his head buried between her thighs as she fists the sheets calling out his name. She saw herself on all fours, him taking her from behind, teeth marks on her shoulder as he claimed her as his own.

Rey suppressed a strangled moan from her throat and without looking at her he smirked, the only sign of their hidden communication. To an outsider, they simply looked like a young couple having a dance. Once she composed herself she steeled her gaze. Two could play this game.

In return, she sent back her own debauched fantasies. Her hazel eyes drilling into his as her hot mouth slid over his aching member, him lying back as she rode him hard, her lying back naked, her hands flicking over her dripping center while he was helpless to sit and watch. No touching. He wasn’t the only one who could play possessive.

Now it was Ben’s turn to try his best not to groan, a low growl reverberating in his chest, his face snapping back to hers, his eyes burning into hers with a dangerous intensity. If it had been anyone else she would have been afraid, maybe she should have been, but the way he was staring at her, like a predator sizing up his prey, she didn’t know if she wanted to give him chase or rise to meet his challenge.

Rey chose the latter.

She stopped them mid-step, reaching up on her toes to give him a chaste kiss. Too fast for him to really get any purchase against her lips, and she turned away from him, walking from the floor without looking back. She knew he was staring after her, a rapacious gleam in his eyes. She had come to play, and he knew it.

Rey continued to walk as calmly as she could from the ballroom, nodding her polite greetings to those who said hello to her as she did, her face completely in control despite the ache that was growing between her legs.

She had barely left the ballroom when she was suddenly interrupted.

“Hey! Where are you off to?” Poe smiled from the side of the hall as she walked through the grand doorway. She jumped with fright.

“Oh, I’m…just getting some fresh air, it’s very warm in there,” she muttered lamely. Poe nodded, looking over her with a frown.

“You do look a little flushed,” He commented, “do you want to get a drink?” Rey shook her head a little too frantically and Poe’s brows knitted in confusion.

“No...thank you” she squeaked, “The fresh air will be fine…”

With that, she dashed off down the corridor leaving Poe standing perplexed. No sooner had she disappeared out of sight, Ben walked through the door.

“Where did Rey go?” He asked quickly.

“Umm…that way,” he said while pointing down the corridor, “Are you alright? Did you guys have a fight?”

“No, not a fight…” Poe held his hands up to stop the other man continuing. Ben also looked more than a little agitated.

“You know what…I don’t wanna know…”

Ben continued to stalk the corridor of the building as fast as etiquette would allow him and it was taking all his control not to break into a sprint after her. She knew exactly what she was doing, leading him on a merry chase. He may have been hunting her, but she was the one with the power. 

_You know I can find you…I can feel you…_

_I’m counting on it…_

He smiled to himself and suddenly he was very glad that Chewbacca wasn’t going to be home with Hope, having taken her to Leia’s home for the evening.

She was close by, he could sense it and he arrived outside to the transports, just in time to see her smug, smiling face close behind one of the doors, the small ship speeding off into the night. Ben growled in frustration and excitement. He knew where she was going, and he jumped onto one of the other transports, ordering the pilot to her location.

Their home was dark when he finally reached their door, slamming it shut behind him and waving his hand to lock it. No interruptions, not tonight.

Slowly he walked the dark hall, running his hand over the wall as he did. She was there, he knew it. There was a darkness swirling through their bond, a greedy want broadcast from both, lust and passion tinged with the light of their love. It was still there, but tonight wasn’t about that, tonight was about the hunt of it all.

He reached their room and there she was standing by the bed, her shoes discarded but still in her dress. Well, he had said he wanted to tear it off with his teeth. There was a wicked smile on her face, her eyes practically black in the moonlight that shone through the windows.

“It isn’t polite to leave a man on the dancefloor like that,” he growled, his chest heaving as he walked into the room.

“I’m sure there was plenty of willing ladies wanting to dance with the First Minister,” She challenged, her voice rough with desire for him.

In a few strides, he was next to her, his arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her body against his. She groaned against him as he kissed her roughly. There was little tenderness in the action but that didn’t seem to bother Rey as she bit his bottom lip.

“Probably, but I don’t want any of them,” he breathed, “Just you,”

His hands ran over her body, palming her breasts through the fabric of her dress as he ran his mouth over her neck, licking and nipping as he went. He found the clasp, pulling it roughly and feeling the taut fabric slacked on her body until it rested as a pool of jade at her feet. With a moan of approval, he realized she wasn’t wearing any underwear.

Rey’s own hands were making fast work of his own garments, his dress coat abandoned on the floor, his shirt being pulled off so quickly that buttons flew across the room, but she paused when his fingers found her.

“You’re so wet for me,” he groaned, the pads of his fingers slowly circling her clit, “Have you been thinking about this? Thinking about having me take you?”

His actions were turning her legs boneless, and she leaned against his shoulder for support, her head unable to form a reply. He hadn’t even entered her yet and she was already moaning loudly. Somewhat roughly he pushed her back on the bed.

“I’m going to lick you until you scream,” he said, pulling her to the edge and resting between her legs, “But I’m going to make you beg for it first,”

Slowly, starting from her knee, he dragged his tongue up her leg, occasionally nipping at her inner thigh with his teeth, drawing a strangled moan from her throat, but she refused to speak, holding on to whatever little control she had over him.

His fingers traced the outside of her folds, but never hit the spot he knew she really wanted him to touch and she whined, trying to buck her hips forward at the contact. He chuckled against her leg.

“What do you want Rey?” She whimpered in response, “That won’t do at all…you know what I want to hear…”

“Ben…please…” she breathed. He smirked. He wasn’t sure who had more control of the situation. He was desperate to touch her, to feel her, but he wouldn’t give in until she had said those words he wanted to hear.

“Please what?”

“Please touch me…I want you to touch me, I want you to make me come, please Ben!”

He needed no more encouragement, leaning forward and licking a burning stripe up her slit until his tongue swirled her clit slowly. The sound she made was unlike anything he had ever heard from her, practically keening on the bed already, her thighs quivering.

She began to pant heavily against the sensations he was giving her as he entered her slowly with his two fingers, feeling every ridge and curling them to find that patch of nerves that made her wail his name as he sucks on the sensitive bud.

Her hands fisted in his hair as she cried out, his fingers setting a rougher pace than she had ever experienced before and he was painfully aware of his own aching cock being restricted by his pants. Her walls were tightening around his fingers as he moved and he from the high-pitched whines she was making, he could tell she was close.

“Gods Ben, I need you inside me…I want you to take me…” she panted out, feeling him grin against her.

“Come for me first,” he said, his voice muffled by the work he was doing to her dripping center.

The tension at the base of her hips was critical and she tried to say she was coming but all that came out was a series of frantic pants and whimpers. She quivered and shook around him, Ben working her through her orgasm, moving away from her overly sensitive clit to circle round it gently instead until her shaking subsided and she was lying back, glowing.

Ben made quick work of his boots and pants, groaning in relief as his solid cock was set free. Rey was sitting up on her elbows, her eyes following him intently. He climbed onto the bed next to her, taking her face in his hands, his eyes softening for the first time since he entered the room.

“Do you trust me?” he asked quietly. Rey nodded, of course, she trusted him. He wouldn’t hurt her, and Ben needed to know that she knew that. She was still inexperienced, he didn’t want to push her further than she wanted to go. “If you tell me to stop, then we stop…”

He was cut off by her urgent lips on his, swallowing his words and pulling a moan from him.

“I trust you,” she breathed and the implicit truth in her eyes almost drove the air from his lungs.

“Get on all fours,” he said, his voice low.

She complied, turning over onto her hands and knees, her body shaking as he ran his hand over her hair, pulling the bun loose, letting her brunette waves fall around her shoulders before smoothing his hand down the expanse of her back.

“Have you any idea what it was like watching you dance with those men tonight?” He said quietly, “How they were all looking at you?”

She sucked in a breath feeling his hand curve over her ass, his fingers finding her dripping, sensitive core again. She moaned as he pushed into her, pulsing his hand at a painfully slow pace.

“but you do know don’t know?” he teased, “I saw how you looked at that woman…”

“Ben…please…” Rey moaned, rocking back against his hands.

“You know what she wanted from me,” He continued, “but why would I want anyone else when I have you?”

He removed his fingers, Rey whispering at the sudden loss and he set himself behind her, holding her hips and entering her slowly, both moaning at the sensation. Ben smiled as he hunched over her, bracketing his hands with his own and keeping his hips still while she adjusted to him.

“There is nobody else but you, Rey, do you understand?” he whispered in her ear, his teeth scraping against her earlobe, trailing down the back of her neck as he began to rock into her, “You’re perfect and you’re all mine,”

“Yes, I’m yours, I’ve always been yours,” she panted against him, dropping to her elbows and he growled as she pulled him deeper. He gently bit the back of her neck and straightened up anchoring himself on her hips.

With a growl Rey pushed back with her hips, encouraging him on and not wanting to leave her waiting, Ben moved with a series of short, calculated thrusts, his hips slapping against her and making her cry out.

Increasing the pace, Ben was hammering into her, changing the angle of her hips with his hands and she let out raw, ragged cries as he hit that sweet spot in her over and over again.

“I’m yours, Rey,” he breathed, “I’ve always been yours…”

He reached around, circling her clit with his fingers and she practically sobbed out, pushing back against him.

“This is only for you,” he panted, “All of me,” he tightened his circles, adding more pressure and with a cry that was more animal than human she convulsed around him, the sudden wave of tightness and gush of fluid pushing him over the edge. He came with a ragged shout, pushing into her so hard she was pushed into the pillows of the bed.

 He slumped over her, both falling to the soft safety of the bed, pulling her sweaty body against his own, peppering her neck and shoulder with soft kisses.

Rey sighed against him, neither of them wanting to break the comfortable silence of the room. They felt it. They belonged together. Nobody was going to break them.


	27. Chapter 27

The facility was nice enough, Rey supposed, walking into the Coruscant psychological detention center. It was far away from most of the main districts, mainly surrounded by security buildings on level four. It may have been classed as a treatment center but the large power field fences around the perimeter of the place made sure that people still recognized it for what it was; prison.

Their journey to the building had been quiet, Rey deep in thought about what she actually wanted to say while Ben wanted to give her the space that she needed and for that she was grateful. He simply sat quietly, Rey clinging around his arm, her head leaning on his shoulder and occasionally he would drop a kiss to her head.

For all she had told him she was fine, he could feel how nervous she really was. Their bond quivered with a nervous tension that was all coming from her.

They were walked through the facility towards a private visitor’s room. It was bare save for two chairs and a table splitting the room in two.  

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” Ben asked warily, his forehead against hers. Rey gave him a small smile and kissed him lightly, shaking her head.

“Not this time. I’ll be fine,” Ben frowned. He didn’t like it, but it was what she wanted.

“I will be right outside that door,” he promised, “If anything happens…”

“It won’t,” She assured him gently, he hands on his face, “Nothing will happen,”

Ben nodded, kissing her once more before he left the room, leaving her to sit alone on one side of the table. After the beat, the door on the opposite side of the table opened and Finn was walked into the room by an armed orderly.

His face had almost completely healed, having gone through extensive treatment to fix the bones, save for his nose which now sat slightly crooked. He almost looked like the Finn she remembered. Almost. He was wearing loose-fitting, all white clothing and his eyes widened at the sight of her.

“Rey?” he breathed, quickly taking the seat in front of him. He reached his hand out to her but slowly withdrew it when he realized that she wasn’t moving, her face blank as she stared at him.

“What are you doing here?” he asked quietly.

Before, she had an answer ready, but now she was sitting in front of him, Rey wasn’t sure. She inhaled deeply, her nostrils were assaulted by the cold, sterile scent of the room. Closure, she needed closure.

“I came to talk to you,” she answered, “How are you doing?”

“Oh, you know, I’ve been better,” he said huffing a laugh, “I…I can’t believe you’re here. When they told me I had a visitor, I assumed it was Rose,”

“Does she visit often?” He nodded with a small, sad smile.

“Almost every other day when she can,” He said, “She’s really the only one who does. Poe has been a couple of times but…”

“It’s not the same?” Rey suggested, and Finn cast his eyes to the table, “I’m sorry,”

“You shouldn’t be saying that to me, Rey,” he sighed, “I…I don’t even know where to begin,”

Rey remembered words that Leia had spoken to her so long ago.

“Start at the beginning,” she said simply, “Why did you do it?” Her voice held no malice, but it lacked the compassion Finn was used to hearing from her.

“It was like an out of body experience, I was watching what was happening and I couldn’t stop myself. The idea that he…he…I didn’t know he had changed, not really, or I didn’t want to know. I felt betrayed and I think I thought if I could get you away from him, take you away from everything then I could fix it,” he said, his lip quivering.

“And do you see now that you were wrong?” Rey asked, a tinge of hope in her voice. Finn sighed.

“I do,” he said shakily, “I don’t think I realized the truth until…”

“Until what?”

“Until I saw you both together until you jumped in front of the gun to save him…and I saw his face when he saw you on the ground…I’ll never forget it,” Finn choked, “He loves you and I didn’t want to believe it until I had almost taken it away from him,”

Rey hastily wiped the falling tears from her eyes.

“I wish I could have told you,” Rey said, “Maybe if I had told you in person this wouldn’t have happened,”

“We can’t change it,” Finn replied, “and I can’t run from what I did either, just…Rey, I’m so sorry. Maker, it sounds so…small but it’s all I can say,”

She wanted to tell him that she forgave him, that everything was okay, and they would remain friends but looking at him, she felt a strange, uneasy anger stirring in her chest. Ben had told her what he had said during the peace talks, echoing his mother’s words that forgiveness wasn’t something earned but an act of compassion. Thinking of her daughter’s terrified cries and Ben’s distraught face, Rey found that she wasn’t there yet.

“I just want you to get the treatment you need,” she said softly, “I want you to be able to move on from the past,” He nodded, dejected, “And…I need you to hear my words, I love him…so much that it’s terrifying, and even though things were hard he gave me the greatest gift I’ve ever had in our daughter. That’s why I took that shot for them, and if I had to…I would do it again a million times over to keep them safe,”

Finn sat quietly taking in her words, his eyes welled with tears. Eventually, he dared to look at her.

“Does he treat you well?” he asked, and Rey gave him a genuine smile.

“I’ve never been so well cared for,” Rey answered honestly, and Finn nodded in approval.

Ben was leaning against the wall opposite the closed door to the room, his arms folded tightly across his chest and his eyes staring holes through the door. Nothing was going to happen, he knew that, but it didn’t stop the tension in his gut.

Suddenly the door opened, and he jumped from the wall as the sound pulled him out of his own head and into the present. Immediately Rey crossed the hall, throwing herself against him and wrapping her arms tightly around his waist, her face buried in his chest as if she couldn’t get close enough to him. Instinctually, his arms wrapped around her, but his brows knitted together in worry.

“Rey? Is everything okay?” He asked, and she felt him probing at their bond, searching for any sign of distress. She shook her head against him, her eyes closed savoring the feeling of having him close.

“Everything is fine,” she soothed, “I just…need you,”

“It’s okay, you have me, I’m right here,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, his hand rubbing her back, “Come on, let me take you home,”

She looked up at him with questioning eyes.

“Don’t you have things to do today? I’m sure I’ve kept you long enough,” He leaned down and kissed her gently.

“You are more important to me,” he assured, “Let me take care of you,”

Still holding her close to his side, his arm around her, Ben walked them from the building and back towards their transport, not caring who saw.

00000

True to his word, Ben had taken the rest of that day off to spend with Rey and Hope. She hadn’t seemed upset as such, there were no tears but there was an underlying insecurity in her manner, seemingly wanting to keep him close to her the remainder of the day. When Ben had asked her what they had spoken about, she told him the truth and he probed no further, simply doing what she asked. If that meant holding her a little tighter then it was something he was more than willing to do.

The next morning, Rey was calm and back to herself, readying herself for last minute wedding plans. It was only a week away after all. It meant that Ben had to get himself back to work, much to his chagrin.

He found himself sitting in his bright office at the New Galactic Order headquarters looking through messages and holos from emissaries they had sent to each planet with their plans for a new, all-inclusive government. It was a huge undertaking and he was only just realizing how long the road was going to be.

He wondered how things would be when it was all completed. He was a Minister for now but in the future? As promised, he would only continue in politics if he was fairly elected to do so, but would the people accept him? Did he even want to run? A million thoughts ran through his head and a buzzing at his door startled him out of them.

“Come,” he called, and the door slid open to show Poe’s smiling face. There was something about the way the man was smiling at him that unsettled him.

“Hello starshine,” Poe quipped, walking into the office, “I see you’re back hard at work,”

“As always,” Ben drawled, “I’m paying for that day off I took but it was worth it,”

“So, Rey went and spoke to Finn then? How did that go?” Poe asked, walking up to his desk. Ben nodded, throwing his datapad down.

“She did. Well, I think. She was a little out of sorts during the day but she seemed better this morning…hence why I’m back here,” he sighed, “Anyway, what can I do for you?”

Poe grinned wolfishly.

“Well, it occurred to me that you’re getting married next week,” Ben quirked an eyebrow.

“Good of you to notice…”

“AND since you’re getting married…well, you know what that means?!” Poe exclaimed, the grin on his face only growing wider at Ben’s wary reservation.

“Don’t say it…”

“You need to have a bachelor party!” Ben squeezed his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“You did, you said it,” He huffed, “Poe…you’ve known me since we were children and we’ve become reacquainted enough for you to know that a _bachelor_ party is not my thing,”

“Oh, come on!” Poe beseeched, “Some music, a few drinks…maybe a dance or two…” Ben scowled.

“Absolutely not!” he snapped, “Do you really think I’m going to go and watch women parade around when I have Rey and my _daughter_ at home?!” Poe rolled his eyes.

“Okay, no dancers but at least think about it,” He asked, his eyes begging, “Look, in the time since we called a cease-fire, you’ve made friends…actual, real friends and those friends want to celebrate, not just the fact that you’re getting married…but that you’ve come _home_ ,”

Ben stared evenly at Poe. His friend’s words, while he was sure they were true, he knew that Poe was trying to pull at his heartstrings to get his own way but seeing the determination in the pilot’s eyes, he knew there was no getting out of this.

He wasn’t throwing a bachelor party. He was getting a party, like it or not.

“Fine,” He sighed, deadpanned. Poe let out a whoop of celebration, clapping Ben on the back.

“Yes! Alright, you leave everything to me, buddy!” Poe cheered, “I’m going to throw you the greatest bachelor party EVER…”

“That’s what I’m afraid of…”

00000

“Rey? Are you home?!” Rose called walking into Rey and Ben’s home, “Whoa…”

“Rose? Is that you?!” Rey called from down the hallway, picking up Hope and making her way through to the living area.

“This place is…wow…” Rose gasped, taking in the place and it occurred to Rey that Rose hadn’t been in their home yet. Rey blushed.

“Yeah, it’s pretty beautiful,” she said, “Do you want to sit?” She asked, gesturing towards the sofas.

“How are you? I haven’t seen you since…”

“Since before,” Rose finished for her and Rey nodded awkwardly.

“I’m okay. I’m so sorry that I didn’t come to see you sooner, it was just…it was all a lot to take in,” she shuddered, and Rey covered the girl's hand with her own.

“I know and I understand,” Rey said quietly, “It’s been hard on everyone. I went to see him, actually,”

“Really? I didn’t think Ben would let you anywhere near him…” Rose surmised. Rey shrugged.

“It took a little convincing, and he didn’t let me go alone but I’m glad he was there. I really needed him,” she said with a small smile, “but, I feel better now I’ve seen him. I know he’s being looked after and that’s what’s important,”

“So…you don’t hate him?” Rose asked, afraid of the answer. Rey shook her head.

“I could never hate him,” she said honestly, “But he tried to take my family from me…and for that, I just can’t forgive him, maybe ever,”

“I know,” Rose said quietly, “I’ve been going to visit him every other day…I…I love him, still, what else can I do?”

Rey gave the girls hand a squeeze in support. She knew what it was like to love a monster, to love someone that everyone was afraid of. It was the reason she couldn’t fault Rose for her decision to stand by him, she was just like her.

“But onto happier topics huh?” Rose said, quickly cheering, “Your wedding is next week! Are you excited?!”

A nervous pang hit Rey in the stomach thinking about it all. She had returned from her final dress fitting that morning and all the details were finalized. All that way left to do was to turn up on the day.

“I can’t believe it’s even happening,” she breathed, “There was so much standing between us…”

“But you overcame them! Now, look at you, a home, a family…Rey, I’m so happy for you!” Rose gushed, “And you know, we HAVE to throw you a bachelorette party!”

“A what?” Rose gawked at her.

“A bachelorette party? You know, a night with all the girls to celebrate your last night of freedom before you get married?!”

Rey looked at the smaller woman skeptically. On Jakku weddings were generally out of necessity and they certainly weren’t treated with the same pomp and circumstances as they were on other worlds. If anything, it was an excuse for people to get drunk. Nobody ever had bachelor parties and since the women had been more than likely sold to the man, there were certainly no bachelorette parties.

“I mean…he’s hardly going to lock me away once we’re married,” Rey scoffed and Rose rolled her eyes.

“Oh, you know what I mean!” she exclaimed, “Come on, it’ll be so much fun! We can get dressed up, go to one of those fancy bars…just the girls, what do you say?”

Rey leveled Rose with a look.

“It sounds like you’ve already figured things out…” She sighed, “Who am I to say no?”

Rose squealed, jumping up from the sofa and hopping from foot to foot in excitement.

“I KNEW you’d be into it! Leave everything to me and Leia, we are going to throw you the best bachelorette party ever!”

After a few more overly excited comments, Rose left Rey’s home at practically a sprint to plan their night, leaving Rey to hope she didn’t regret whatever it was she had just agreed to.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it's becoming fairly apparent that while I love tension, smut and a bit of angst, I love seeing my space dork babies domestic and happy towards the end!
> 
> I also seem to have a Ben and Poe friendship kink going on. I just want Ben to have a buddy!

“And you promise you don’t mind?” Rey asked once again, checking her makeup in their bedroom mirror and watching Ben in the reflection.

He was standing gazing lovingly at Rey, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, a benign smile on his face.

“I think considering I’m also being dragged out that it’s only fair,” he said, “And there’s a higher chance that you’ll actually have a good time!”

“Oh, don’t be like that!” Rey scoffed, “I bet once you’re out and you’ve had a few drinks, you’ll loosen up and enjoy yourself! Besides, we have a sitter for the evening. We should take advantage,”

Ben wasn’t so sure, but when Rey had told him that Rose had similar plans for her he decided there was no getting out of it. Rey stood up from her chair and wandered towards him, her eyes boldly looking him up and down.

She had never seen him look so casual before. Gone was the long dark coat and tunics that she was so used to seeing him in and instead, along with his black boots and pants he had opted for a casual black, mandarin collared shirt that he had left unbuttoned at the top and a black leather jacket with two red stripes running horizontally across the chest. Rey loved how Ben looked all the time but tonight, he looked especially roguish and it suddenly made Rey want to call of their respective parties.

“Although, we could just stay home,” she purred, holding the collar of the jacket and pulling herself up on her toes to kiss him, “I rather like this look on you,”

“Hmm, a little late to cancel now,” he growled, rubbing his hands over her bare arms lightly. She was wearing one of the less formal outfits that were made for her. A high necked, silver sleeveless top, embellished all over with silver jewels in ornate patterns paired with a long silver silk skirt that had two slits on the front, almost to the top of her thighs. The outfit showed enough skin of all the best parts of Rey’s body, in Ben’s opinion.  She looked good enough to eat and Ben was echoing the sentiments she was sending to him silently.

He had just begun to kiss her passionately when BB-9E rolled through to announce that someone was at the door. Rey pulled away from him, her lips flushed from his attention and an apologetic look on her face.

“Hold that thought,” she rasped. He groaned watching her walk away in a flurry of smooth skin and silver silks and eventually decided to follow her, her perfume practically dragging him along by the nose.

“What are you doing here?!” Rose cried as he walked into the living area, “You’re not meant to be here! No boys, especially not the groom!” Ben held his hands up defensively.

“I mean, I do live here,” he said dryly, “But don’t worry, I’m leaving! Poe is outside as we speak!”

He reached out for Rey pulling her to him and holding her with his dark eyes.

“I’ll see you later,” he promised, his low voice making Rey’s knees feel weak. She kissed him, inhaling his rich, almost woody scent deeply and he smiled devilishly at her before he walked out of the door.

Rose moved to stand next to Rey, her eyes joining her friend in following him out of the door, slack-jawed and wide-eyed.

“Wow, so…umm…Ben looks…”

“I know,” Rey swallowed, “I know…”

00000

The club wasn’t at all something that Ben would have chosen for himself, then again, he supposed he wouldn’t have elected to go out in the first place. When they had toasted to the success of their talks, they had drunk at the embassy then back at his Mother’s home. The issue was never so much the act of drinking but controlling the force when he was under the influence. The more people were around him, the louder everyone’s force signature was. It wasn’t a problem sober, he could control it, but drunk? That’s when things began to get loud.

Poe had gathered several people for the gathering, more than Ben ever would have expected. A few of the First Order officers than Ben had worked closely with, a number of Resistance delegates that he had gotten to know since their talks and most surprisingly of all, Chewbacca.

As they had approached the door, the bouncer stopped them, looking the Wookie up and down.

“This is an exclusive place,” the doorman had said pretentiously, “I’m afraid we don’t allow certain…types in here,” Chewbacca growled indignantly, and Ben scowled. He really didn’t have time for that kind of attitude.

“There’s no problem. We can all go through and you hope we have a good night,” Ben commanded, waving his hand subtly next to him.

“There’s no problem, go on through. I hope you guys have a good night,” the doorman replied robotically. Poe smirked as they all walked past.

The place was dark in hues of purples and blues, underlighting shining at the bars while bass thumped through the air. Poe lead them to a reserved table, bottles already prepared for them and he immediately started pouring shots into the small glasses, handing Chewbacca a larger glass to fit his frame.

Ben wasn’t sure what it was that Poe had just poured for him, but whatever it was it was strong, the smell alone burning at his nostrils and leaving a fiery trail down his throat. Another round was poured but this time Poe decided to toast before they could drink.

“I just want to say, that if you’d told me a year ago that this is where we would be, I’d have laughed straight in your face. The past is behind us, the future is what’s important and I can’t believe that you managed to get an astounding woman like Rey to marry you…you’re a very lucky man and I’m really proud of you,”

Ben blinked at his friend’s surprisingly heartfelt speech. After so many years of isolation, of being told he wasn’t worth anything, being surrounded by people who were actually his friends felt strange but comforting. He smiled at his friend, raising his glass in return and downing the liquid.

He blinked a few times, already feeling the effects and realizing that it was going to be a very long night.

00000

The venue Leia and Rose had chosen for Rey’s party were beyond beautiful. It was more like a ballroom than a bar, all white and grey marble, tall windows and candlelight. Nothing like Rey was expecting. Leia tapped on her champagne flute and the girls around the table stopped chattering as she stood.

“Rey, there are no words to describe how special you are to me. You brought Ben back when I was sure he was lost, you’ve given me a beautiful grandchild and now…you’re joining our family,” she said, choking up slightly, “To Rey and Ben!”

“To Rey and Ben!” The table echoed, all downing their drinks in one fell swoop in stark contrast to Rey taking a civilized sip.

“So, tell us! How did he ask you?” one of the girls at the table asked and Rey looked over in her direction. Sara, she thought, she was sure her name was Sara from analytics.

“Well, he asked me at the Coruscant memorial gardens…” Rey began, noticing uncomfortably that every person around the table was staring at her intently.

“And?” Rose pressed, her face expectant.

“And I said yes?”

“She’s being modest!” Rose gushed, “He took her out for the day, bought them a beautiful new home then he arranged for her, and me, to go to this amazing tailor and he bought her a whole new wardrobe and then he planned to bring her to the Coruscant memorial gardens where he proposed under the trees and floating lights…”

Rey blinked as every girl around the table, save for Leia, treated her to a chorus of ‘Aww’, their hands on their chests and simpering expressions on their faces. Rey gave them all a confused smile and suddenly wondered if she was deeply unromantic.

“Don’t worry honey, I don’t really understand the fascination either,” Leia whispered, bringing a giggle to Rey’s lips, “Everyone wanted to know about how Han was going to propose, what the ring looked like…all of that stuff. Let me give you a little bit of advice, the wedding isn’t what’s important…the marriage, that’s what’s important. Your relationship, compromising, learning to balance each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Those things last a lifetime...your wedding is just a day,”

Rey smiled sincerely at her future mother-in-law. Leia had been a godsend since the moment they had met. She always knew the right thing to say when Rey needed it most. Suddenly Rey found a shot glass of purple liquid shoved in front of her.

“Come on, Rey!” Leia said with a wink, holding up a shot glass of her own, “The night is just beginning!”

In one fell swoop, the woman downed the drink, hissing at the burning sensation then looking at Rey expectantly. Rey sighed, picking up her glass and throwing it back, letting the strong alcohol do its work.

00000

 “Okay…never have I ever…made it with a non-human girl!” Poe slurred, watching in triumph as several men around the table threw their shots back, including Ben.

“Solo…really?!” One of the men choked, “Who?”

Ben didn’t like to bring up his past sexual experiences before Rey. They were unfeeling, perfunctory encounters that were encouraged by Snoke as a means of encouraging the dark. There was no love there, only what it was. Half the time he didn’t even look at the girl's faces. Ben shrugged.

“Some twi’lek girl years ago,” he said flippantly, hoping that the subject would be dropped. Poe refilled his glass.

“My turn, never have I ever…joined the hyperspace club,” another of the men said. Poe and Ben both immediately took a drink.

“Ah, Dameron, refill that glass…you need at least two shots for that one!” Ben jibed.

Poe rolled his eyes and took another shot.

“I guess I can’t even argue that one,” he drawled, “Never have I ever got into a fistfight with a Wookie…”

“Can you call it a fight if it was one-sided?” Ben pondered, his own speech starting to slur. Chewbacca growled a laugh, telling him to drink anyway.

“If you ended up on your ass, it was a fight…and you lost Benny boy!” Chewbacca roared in agreement and Ben frowned.

“Yeah, I know it was for a good reason. Laugh it up furball…” he muttered, taking his shot, then men’s glasses immediately being refilled.

“Never have I ever done a barrel roll in a fighter jet,” Ben said, almost every man at the table taking their shots. It was an easy truth, but he was heading quickly towards being extremely drunk and he needed the other men to catch up at least a little.

“Speaking of, Ben, you HAVE to let me try your TIE Silencer some time,” Poe exclaimed, “Those things can really click so I imagine yours is even faster!”

“What makes you think I’ll let you anywhere NEAR my ship,” Ben scoffed smugly, “I’ve seen how you fly!”

“Hey, I’m the best pilot in the Resistance…”

“That’s redundant now,” Ben quipped, “There is no Resistance or First Order, it’s the New Galactic Order and I think you’ll find, I’m the best pilot in the NGO,” he finished smugly, throwing back another drink while Poe scowled.

“Oh yeah? Prove it tough guy, lets go down to the hanger right now!”

“You’re on!”

Both men stood, posturing wilding only to be pulled back to their seats roughly by two large, furry hands, Chewbacca growling at them to stop acting like drunk idiots while the rest of the table laughed.

“Next time,” Poe muttered, and Ben nodded in agreement, refilling the pilot's glass.

The already dull lights dimmed a little more, the colored lights around the bar and edges of the room bouncing off the walls and suddenly Ben looked at his surroundings to find there were women on each podium, swinging around random poles, their outfits leaving very little to the imagination.

“Poe, what did I kriffing tell you?” Ben growled, drawing his eyes to his friend. Poe looked anywhere but Ben’s annoyed gaze, his eyes shining in mock innocence.

“I can’t rightly remember…”

“I said no dancers!” Ben said, “It was literally the one thing I told you…”

“Come on Benny boy! It’s just a bit of fun. The boys are loving it, you don’t need to get a dance, we can just sit here and drink,” Poe pressed, and Ben sighed.

“Urgh, Fine,” he huffed, really feeling too drunk to put up much of a protest. He supposed it wasn’t too bad to let the other men enjoy themselves provided he wasn’t going to be forced into anything else.

00000

After almost a full bottle of whatever the purple stuff she was being supplied with was, Rey was feeling twitchy. It wasn’t that she was having a bad time, far from it. The girls had been roaring with laughter most of the evening, only getting louder the more they drank.

“Ladies, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to ask you again to keep the noise down. You’re disturbing the other patrons,” A severe-looking hostess snapped at them, having had to come up to their table for the fourth time.

Leia looked around them with a smirk. They were indeed being shot some less than kind looks from the other drinkers.

“Alright girls,” Leia said, standing, “While this place is beautiful, I think we’ve have officially out drunk them. Shall we move on?”

“Where to?” Rose pipped up, trying her best not to giggle.

“Well, I know a place, it’s a little rough around the edges though…” Jessika said, looking apologetically at Leia who scoffed.

“Honey, you can’t imagine the kind of bars I’ve drunk in over the years,” Leia slurred, “I’m sure I’ll be just fine!”

Leia covered the tab, sarcastically apologizing to the head hostess as Rey walked past the woman, unsure if she should be giving in to the laughter she was trying to hide or if she should be suitably mortified at Leia’s lack of care.

The group of giggling ladies stumbled out into the Coruscant evening, piling into a transport, much to the chagrin of the pilot who took one look at the group and loudly sighed. Rey made a mental note to make sure she tipped him extra for the trouble.

“What kind of club is this anyway?” Rey asked Jessika as they left the transport, making their way towards the dark building. She could hear the bass from outside the walls.

“I won’t lie…it’s definitely an adult club, but they totally let anyone in…it’s not just for guys!”

They breezed past the doorman who raised an eyebrow at Leia’s presence. The woman haughtily ignored him and Rey could only throw him a shrug.

The whole place was dark and clouded with odorless smoke, purple and blue bouncing off the walls as women of all different races danced on podiums, poles and on the bar. Rey raised her eyebrow at Jessika.

“Jess…have you brought us to a strip club?”

“No! Don’t be silly…it’s an exotic dance bar…” Rey rolled her eyes as Leia burst out laughing.

“It’s a strip club…No wonder we got such odd looks coming in here!” Rey laughed alongside Leia who was giggling so much she was holding her side. Rose’s drunk, glassy eyes were wide with wonder.

“I mean…I’m cool to stay if you guys are,” she said, “This place looks fun!”

“Ah, what the hell!” Leia said, walking them up to the bar, “A round of _dirty ewoks_ and keep them coming!”

00000

Ben was well and truly drunk.

As was Poe and the rest of his group, some of the men fawning and drooling over the women dancing, the rest laughing together and swapping stories. Chewbacca had drunk almost four bottles of brandy to himself.

Ben paused in his laughter, something rippling through him, but he couldn’t pinpoint exactly where it was coming from. It was familiar and definitely in the building. His brows knitted together as his foggy, intoxicated grasp tried to feel out.

“What? What’s wrong?” Poe asked, noticing his friend falling quiet.

“Nothing…I think…I can just sense something, or someone…” he wondered, looking around him.

The loud cheering was coming from the side of the circular bar that he couldn’t see from their sunken booth and he stood on shaky legs to investigate, Poe following out of curiosity.

As they rounded the bar, they were met with a baying crowd all dancing and cheering for whoever was dancing on the bar. The two men squinted at the figures, their eyes widening in surprise when they realized that it wasn’t just the female dancers on the bar anymore.

There, on the bar, was Rey, her shoes kicked off and her silk skirt moving around her thighs as she danced to the beat of the music on the bar alongside Rose, Jessika and a few of the other girls with complete abandon. Ben watched, shell-shocked as his sweet Rey danced on the bar of the club, taking in every movement of her body and how the silk of her outfit moved across her skin. It was more erotic than anything any of the dancers could ever conjure.

“Woah…Rey looks…” Poe began but stopped himself when Ben turned to him with a dangerous glint in his eyes, daring Poe to finish his sentence. Poe cleared his throat, composing himself, “That is, I mean to say…you’re a lucky, lucky man Benny boy,”

As soon as Rey had walked into the bar she had felt the force moving around her, filling her with a familiar warmth but she had assumed it was the alcohol talking. Now the feeling was only getting stronger and she turned towards it, her face splitting into a grin when she saw him.

 “BEN!” She cried, hopping from the bar onto a stool then onto the floor and rushing towards him, throwing her hands around his neck, “What are you doing here?!” He blinked down at her.

“I should be asking you the same question!” he said, still in amazement, “I thought you were going out with my mother…”

“She’s here!” Ben paled.

“...she is?” Rey grinned.

“Oh, she is!” Rose called, also being assisted down from the bar by Poe, “But she’s outside. She decided she wanted to see that the door guys were made of…I think they might be arm wrestling,”

“Huh,” Ben said simply.

Of all the things he had expected to hear, that was not one of them.

“So…what should we do?” Rose asked, “Should we find another bar? It’s a bachelor and bachelorette! They can’t be together, that’s not how it’s meant to go!”

But her protests fell on deaf ears. Poe was standing near the bar, his eyes locked on Jessika, her long dark hair flowing as she continued to dance with some of the other girls while Rey and Ben were so wrapped up in each other, standing close to each other, his nose nuzzling along hers as they whispered to each other, occasionally catching the other's lips in a kiss.

Rose sighed and shrugged. It looked like they were staying put.

Seeing the besotted couple brought a pang of sadness to her gut. She missed that. She missed the hidden smiles and stolen kisses. She missed holding hands and laughing together.

Quietly she moved away from the revelry and slipped outside.

“Good game boys!”

As the warm Coruscant air of the night hit her skin, she found Leia shaking hands with one of the doormen she had challenged. Rose wasn’t sure if she had won the challenge or not, given the size difference it would have been surprising, but Leia seemed in good spirits anyway.

“Rose! You’re not leaving, are you?” Leia demanded, and Rose shrugged, wrapping her arms around herself defensively.

“I…I don’t know, I’ve just lost my enthusiasm I guess…” She muttered, Leia, coming up and leaning next to her against the wall.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?” She asked kindly. Rose wasn’t sure if it was all the alcohol or Leia’s imploring, kind, motherly face that made the dam in her break, but she found tears running down her face and it was impossible to hide the truth.

“I miss him,” She choked, “I miss him so much. I go to see him and it’s not the same, not as it was. It can’t be, and I know what people think. I know everyone is horrified that I even still talk to him, but I just can’t abandon him…I love him…”

“Shh,” Leia soothed, wrapping her arm around the crying girl's shoulder, “Let me tell you something. When Ben did what he did, joining Snoke, people were so horrified when they found out that I still held out hope…but what else could I do? He’s my son and love is love. It was the same for Rey, even today a lot of people still talk about how she went behind their backs to be with him. They think I don’t hear it, but I do. When you love someone, it’s a power so all-consuming you think you’re going to go mad…embrace the madness. Finn is still in there, and he needs someone like you to bring him back. Just like Rey brought back Ben,” Rose sniffed and wiped her eyes.

“I don’t think it’s as drastic as that…”

“No,” Leia agreed, “Perhaps not, but Finn is dealing with a different kind of darkness. I know it’s hard and I know you miss him but time will heal this wound,” Rose smiled.

“Gods, I’ve become that girl that cries at parties after one too many,” she said with a water laugh and Leia laughed with her.

From the side, the door suddenly burst open, three large security men holding up a rather worse for wear Chewbacca who was growling and chirruping merrily.

“See, this is why we don’t like Wookies in here…they’re too heavy to carry when they get drunk!”

00000

Poe took another gulp of his drink watching Jessika dance on the bar.

Jessika Pava was someone he had known for a long time. They had flirted on and off, but never anything serious. She was a hell of a pilot, not as good as him he thought, but she was skilled and methodical in her approach to things. Less reckless than Poe.

He had never seen her so carefree, he thought watching her, her long dark hair in waves around her shoulders, her pink dress twirling as she danced, laughter lighting up her heart-shaped face, the lights reflecting in her dark eyes.

Eventually, she seemed like she wanted a break, hopping down from the bar and he was transfixed on her as she walked over to him.

“I might have known we’d find you here,” she smiled at him and his stomach flip-flopped.

What the hell was going on? This was Jessika. His wingmate. Why was he suddenly so nervous? Poe finished his drink.

“Well, you know…I just wanted to show Ben a good time,” he muttered bashfully, and she grinned at him, her perfect teeth shining.

“You know, I think it’s awesome that you and Ben are so close again. I know it was hurting you,” she said softly. He could barely hear her over the music.

“I’m glad too. I missed him a lot,” he confessed, “Don’t tell him I said that…”

“Oh! I wouldn’t dream of it!” She winked, “What are you drinking?” he stared dumbly at his empty cup.

“I’ll have what you’re having,” he smiled.

“Even if it’s one of those frilly cocktails?” she teased, and he gave her the best smile he could muster.

“Especially if it’s one of those frilly cocktails!”

00000

The two separate parties had inevitably moved into one large group, but nobody seemed to be complaining. Leia had decided she was calling it a night after her talk with Rose, thinking it was probably better to take the young girl home. Chewbacca had been escorted from the building along with Leia and Rose.

Ben was sitting contentedly watching Rey at the bar from his seat, drink lazily in his hand. She looked radiant, but while she had been the epitome of class and sophistication at the banquet, tonight there was something else. Something that was stirring a shadowy kind of want in him. Her dress was far more provocative than he had ever seen her wear. She looked confident, happy and completely edible.

And the way she would glace at him through her dark lashes made his breath catch in his chest every time.

A frown ghosted his face as he watched a man approach Rey and her friend, obviously drunk. He wasn’t as tall as Ben, but he was large, wide. He felt her annoyance at being interrupted, a scowl on her face as she turned and said something Ben couldn’t hear. The man said something in return and from the sudden change in their bond, he could tell it was less than polite.

From annoyance to anger, to fear, the man reached out trying to grab Rey, his Rey, around the waist, pulling her small frame against him, the smell of alcohol invading her nostrils and Ben was on his feet in and next to her in an instant.

Without a second thought, the man was thrown backward away from her, hitting the wall with a thump. It wasn’t as forceful as he knew he could throw him, although the anger welling up in Ben made him desperately want to, it was enough to make his point.

“Get away from her!” Ben growled teeth bared like a wild animal, Rey tucked safely behind him.

A number of the bar patrons had stopped what they were doing to watch the interaction with interest. Rey put her hand on Ben’s arm trying to pull him back.

“Ben, calm down,” she soothed, “I’m fine,”

She didn’t feel fine, he thought, he could still sense her shaken nerves and it drove a primal need in him to fight for her. An alpha protecting his mate.

“What the kriff do you think you’re doing?” the man spat, picking himself up, “What, there aren’t enough whores in this bar for you?!” Ben ground his teeth, his jaw working while he swallowed down his anger.

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll walk away from me…now!” Ben declared his voice low.

The man looked Ben up and down but once he locked eyes with the force user his bravado began to shrink rapidly. Rage was rolling off Ben in waves and you didn’t have to be adept at the force to feel it, he was standing his full, considerable height, his shoulders pulled back and head held high. Enough to intimidate even the hardest man.

Despite the scene in front of her, Rey couldn’t tear her eyes away from Ben. Maybe it was the alcohol-induced haze, she reasoned, but she had never wanted him more at that moment. She had always taken pride in her ability to fend for herself, that she didn’t need someone, let alone a man, to rescue her, but now he was there growling down her would be attacker, she suddenly saw all the attraction of the white knight complex.

Or dark knight, as it turned out.

Knowing it would have been suicide to try and fight with Ben, the man gathered what was left of his pride and scarpered away, the other bar-goers turning back to their previous activities somewhat disappointed. Ben turned to Rey, his face softening.

“Are you alright? Did he hurt you?” he asked, his large hands on each side of her head inspecting her for any sign of injury or distress.

His head tilted to the side curiously. He had expected to find her upset, or worried, but instead, he found her eyes impossibly dark with desire and she smiled impishly at him.

“I’m fine,” She breathed, “but you really shouldn’t just throw people like that,”

“He had his hands on you,” he bit out, his possession only making Rey smile wider.

“I think…it’s time we went somewhere private,” he quirked a single eyebrow at her boldness, a smirk falling on his lips.

“Really? And what about our parties?” He asked, amused.

Rey looked around at her friends. The other girls were dancing with some of the men while Poe and Jessika were sitting closely together, seemingly too wrapped in each other and their conversation to notice anyone else.

“I’m sure they’ll manage just fine without us,” she said confidently.

He was sure his face looked ridiculous with a giddy, slightly drunk grin plastered all over as she takes his hand and drags him from the club out into the Coruscant night.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s almost here! Our favorite space dorks are tying the knot, but they’re going to be a little filthy and domestic first. There will be an epilogue but just know I’ve loved writing this story so much and love and appreciate everyone who has reviewed and followed this story with me.

They both stumbled out of the bar, hand in hand, laughing as they went into the Coruscant night. It was late and the street they were on was quieter now but there were still enough onlookers to give them bemused or knowing smiles. The couple was past caring who saw them. They were young, in love and drunk on more than the expensive spirits they had been imbibing all night.

As they continued their drunk stumbling, stopping every so often for a stolen kiss, Rey’s teeth nipping at his lower lip, Ben realized with dismay that the transport to take them back to their home was further than he would have liked, the growing tension in his pants making fast movement awkward.

Suddenly he found their direction abruptly changed. Rey had darted down a side street, pulling him with her and they found themselves in what looked like a dark Coruscant alleyway. He took in their surroundings as she pulled him further, rounding into an alcove that was almost pitch black. If they were careful and quiet, there was a good chance nobody would find them.

But there was still a chance.

His back hit the side of the building with a thud as she threw her body against him, her lips savage against him while his hands tangled in her hair. Here? In the open? The sensible part of his brain that was still firing could imagine the holonet headlines if someone found the First Minister ravaging his intended like an animal in the streets.

“Rey…Rey…” he whispered, breathing heavily as he gently pushed her back, “We should go home…”

Forming sentences, even slurred, was becoming increasingly difficult as she palmed his stiff cock through the fabric of his trousers, a wickedly seductive smile on her face.

“Nobody will find us,” She whispered back assuring, one hand on his face and the other still stroking him, “Trust me…I want you. Now!”

The sensible part of his brain was well and truly pushed away, his reckless need for her taking over every part of him. She yelped and giggled as he pushed against her, his lips attacking her throat as her own back hit the wall in the small nook they found themselves in.

“Shh,” he whispered against her lips, his mouth having trailed open, hot kisses from her collarbone upwards, and she bit her lip to stop herself from making too much noise.

His hands trailed down the silk on her body, feeling the slightly rough embellishments on her top, the smooth, warm skin on her stomach and the silk of her skirt until he reached the split, dipping between the fabric to find the hot apex of her thighs.

She buried her face into his chest, biting her lip to stifle her moan when he pulled her underwear aside, slipping two fingers past her drenched folds, thrusting them at an agonizing pace. He knew they had limited time, but he couldn’t resist teasing her.

“I’ve wanted to do this all night,” he whispered in her ear, his hot breath sending shocks through her skin, “You look so beautiful in that outfit, that silk sliding over your skin…and you’re all mine,”

“Yes, I’m yours…please Ben,” Rey breathed against his chest, her teeth sinking into the leather of his jacket to suppress the loud moan she wanted to make. He chuckled.

“Now, sweetheart, if you can’t keep quiet like this…what are you going to do when I take you against that wall?” he teased, and Rey could only growl back in response, fumbling with the latch on his belt.

Finally, her hands found him, wrapping around his aching cock and Ben was reminded exactly what he was doing there. Now it was his turn to groan, his forehead against the wall, biting into his free fist to quieten himself as she pumped him slowly.

“Don’t you mean, what will YOU do?” Rey shot back, her voice husky with desire and shaky from his movements.

“If you don’t stop I’m going to cum right here…” He hissed, and her movements stilled. She wanted more from him than that.

She heard a tearing sound; her underwear being ripped to the side in one swift motion followed by the ruffling of fabric as he pushed his pants down just enough to free his weeping erection. Arms around her waist he hoisted her up to his hips like she weighed nothing, her legs wrapping around him, so he could push into her.

He bit his lip so hard he was certain he may draw blood trying to not moan loudly at the feeling of her slick walls enveloping him. He could feel her teeth in the leather of his shoulder, knowing that she was feeling the same way. They remained still for a moment until she relaxed around him and when he was sure she was braced between him and the wall, he began to move, thrusting up into her in quick, sharp movements.

“I love you, oh stars, I love you…” She whispered against his temple as he moved in her, setting a punishing rhythm, his clit grinding against the base of him with every thrust.

She was close, he could feel it and he knew he wasn’t far behind her. Not with the way they were moving, their bond singing with a heady mix of love and lust.

“I love you, Rey,” he panted quietly, “My love, my home, I choose you…we’ll never be parted,”

The conviction of his whispered words in her ear combined with the delicious friction in the base of her hips pushed her over into the abyss, her walls tightening, fluttering around him as he moved, his thrusts becoming increasingly erratic.

Her eyes closed tightly, her face contorted in pleasure as she gave in to the orgasm crashing around her and Ben slipped a hand from behind her lower back, having to cover her mouth to muffle the scream that threatened to echo through the alcove and out into the alley next to them.

She was still in the middle of her own climax as Ben reached his release, a loud moan ripping unbidden from his throat that Rey only just had the wherewithal to damped with her own hand over his mouth.

Carefully, he pulled from her, both breathing hard as they removed their hands, forehead resting on forehead while their bodies still shuddered from the after effects. Even though his own legs were shaking, he still had the strength to make sure Rey was put back down safely, a strong arm around her waist, holding her tightly against him.

Tenderly she reached up, pushing the hair from his face and kissing him soundly, her eyes only just making out his pale face in the darkness.

“Let’s go home,”

00000

Everything felt foggy as Ben’s eyes opened, his senses dulled from the previous night's activities. Slowly he tilted his head to look down, smiling gently at the fan of dark hair spilled over his chest, feeling Rey’s breath tickle his bare skin as she breathed in sleep, her mouth hanging open ever so slightly.

He turned to look at the rest of the room, smirking at the trail of clothes leading from the door to their bed. As he became more aware, he realized they were both completely naked.

They had stumbled from the alleyway, completely disheveled, to reach their transport. As soon as they had returned home, both had discovered that their appetites for one another hadn’t been sated. 

As the sun slowly made its way through the drawn curtains, Ben’s hand lazily drew circles on Rey’s naked back while he lost himself in thought.

He had dreamed of this, of having her in his arms sleeping safely. It had been all he could think about since the moment they had touched hands. It had been something he had always thought was so far away from him, impossible to hold onto, like trying to grab hold of smoke.

The dream he had thought shattered had slowly begun to glue itself back together because of her. She was so good, so light and that she was willing to rebuild their tenuous relationship and let it grow into what they had now was something he would forever be thankful for.

He still had regrets, that they had spent so long apart when she needed him, that he had cut her off because of his own stubbornness, hurt and fear. He had missed her whole pregnancy, missed watching his daughter grow every day as swelled with life, missed being there for Rey even for the small things like helping her out of bed in the morning when she was too big to move comfortably. Force only knows how he was able to make it in time to see Hope join their world.

But it wasn’t a dream. It was real. He had a home, a true family, and Rey, his love. A woman that he had literally killed for. He would do anything to keep her safe and by his side. They already knew they were going to be together forever, in life and in the force.

And tomorrow, the rest of the galaxy would know it too when they spoke their vows.

He was pulled back to the present when he felt her groan against him.

“Good morning,” he rumbled, his voice rough from the night before and sleep. Rey moved onto her head, propping her chin against him and smiling, somewhat painfully.

“Morning,” She mumbled, “What time is it?” He looked towards the window.

“Still early I imagine,” he replied, “How do you feel?”

“Hmm. A little…tender,” She said delicately, “Those cocktails I was being fed pack a punch…and I wasn’t intending on our wrestling match at the end of the night,”

Ben smiled, his ears burning. They hadn’t been gentle with each other. The burning scratches on his back were tangible proof.

“It’s a shame we can’t stay like this all day,” Rey yawned, lifting herself up and stretching her aching body, “But there’s too much to do. Tomorrow is rather important,”

“Oh…what’s happening tomorrow?” Ben asked innocently. Rey laughed, moving to swat him on the chest but he caught her hand pulling her to his lips for a chaste kiss.

“Are you nervous?” She asked quietly, and he shook his head, never taking his soft eyes from hers.

“No,” He said seriously, “This has been all I’ve thought of since you walked away from me…” his brows furrowed and immediately Rey kissed his tension away.

“Don’t think about that anymore. We’re so far past that now,” She said gently, stroking the tension away from his face.

She was right. That horrible day on Takodana, their fight, her leaving, it all felt like another life ago.

“Are you?” He asked tentatively. He hated the idea of her having any regrets, but his fears were soon quashed when she smiled brightly.

“Not to marry you,” she confirmed, “I’ve never felt surer about anything in my life,”

A faint cry echoed through to their room, both looking away from each other towards the door. Rey smiled lightly, looking back at Ben.

“And that will be your other lady awake,” she said. She pushed herself away from him to climb from the bed, his eyes following her with a dreamy smile on his face. He was slightly disappointed when she pulled her robe on, covering her naked body.

“Come on you,” she said, “If I’m up, you’re up. We have too much to do today! Get some caf on,”

Rey sighed happily, despite the residual effects of her hangover, walking into Hope’s room and going to the side of the crib. The baby girl stilled happily in her mother’s arms.

“Good morning darling girl,” she cooed, and Hope wriggled happily, her arms waving towards Rey’s beaming face, “Oh you are growing so quickly!”

It was true, her sweet baby girl was getting larger and heavier every day. In the time since her birth, Hope had grown and developed. More and more each day Rey began to see specific features that had come from her side, like her nose, but one thing had always been there since the day she was born; Ben’s fathomless, dark eyes.

She was going to be a daddy’s girl, there was no doubt in Rey’s mind.

By the time she walked through to the kitchen, Hope fed, changed and resting happily against Rey’s chest, Ben was already there, dressed in only a pair of black sleeping pants, a cup of caf already in his hand having already poured one on the counter for Rey. He smiled at the sight of his two girls walking into the large room.

“There’s my starlight,” he said, gently taking his daughter into his arms, “How’s daddy’s little girl?”

Rey smirked to herself. Definitely a daddy’s girl.

The tiny girl gurgled happily at the sound of her father’s voice, blinking up at him as he cradled her.

“So, what’s the plans today?” he asked as Rey lifted her cup.

“Well, we should probably check who survived last night first…” she quipped, taking a sip of her drink, “After, I need to pack a small bag to take with me to Leia’s for the evening,”

“Do you really have to go?” he asked somewhat petulantly. Rey gave him an indulgent smile, absently reaching to stroke the soft, black hair on her daughter’s head.

“It’s tradition to spend the night separately before the wedding,” She said, “The next time you’ll see me will be at the altar,” Ben’s brows knitted together.

“I don’t like it when we’re separated,” he muttered, and Rey gave him an innocent kiss.

“It’s just one night and I promise the bond will be open, as always, and you can reach out whenever you want,” she smiled, “But you’ll have Poe and Chewbacca here, so I imagine you’ll have your hands full…just please, maybe go easy on the drinking?”

The thought of alcohol made his stomach flip and he shook his head in disgust.

“Urgh. No, definitely a sober night this evening,” he said, “I want to be able to toast my wife at my own wedding without being ill,”

She laughed at the thought, putting her cup down and stretching, Ben’s eyes moving up and down her body, naked except for the slip of dark red silk covering her skin. Rey rolled her eyes, wrapping her arms around his waist.

“I’m amazed you’d even have the energy for those thoughts after last night,” she teased. Ben quirked an eyebrow, smiling at her devilishly, pressing a kiss just below her earlobe.

“Never,” he growled playfully. Rey laughed, swatting him on his bare chest.

“Not with our daughter in your arms please!” she giggled, “Besides, I don’t think my legs have recovered yet and I’d like a wedding night,”

BB-9E rolled into the kitchen, announcing in his own series of beeps and boops that they had guests before Leia wandered into the kitchen, Chewbacca trailing behind her.

“You two look better than I expected,” she jibed as Rey pulled away from Ben to pour Leia a cup of caf.

“As do you, mother,” Ben replied, “You weren’t exactly drinking water all evening,”

“I know how to hold my drink, son, I also know when to call it a night…I had to take this reprobate home!” she laughed, thumbing behind her towards Chewbacca who was slumping forward. Rey walked towards the Wookie, wrapping her arms around her furry friend.

“How are you feeling, Chewie?” she asked kindly and he responded with a series of pitiful whimpers that he was never drinking again.

“How is Rose?” Rey asked, her arms still around Chewbacca, “She looked upset…” Leia smiled sadly.

“She’ll be fine. You know what they say about drinking, it brings out the truth,” she sighed, “She’s a strong girl, she just needed to let it all out. I took her back to my home and we talked for a long time. She’s okay, she’s sleeping it all off just now. We’ll collect her later,”  Rey nodded sadly in response.

“Now, I know it’s early Rey, but I think I’ll need to hurry you. You’ve got the last trial run of your hair and dress in an hour and a host of other things to do for tomorrow!”

Ben had been gazing down at his daughter, only half listening to the conversation around him as he had rubbed gentle circles on the girls dozing back but at his mother’s words his head snapped up to attention.

“So soon?” he asked, his tone tinged with a panic that made Leia smile in amusement.

“It’s only a day, Ben,” Leia smirked, “I’m sure you can survive without her until tomorrow!”

Ben frowned in annoyance. Truth was, he found it difficult being away from Rey and Hope, even when it was for something as innocent as work or training. They kept him balanced, soothed. Sensing his tension, Hope stirred uncomfortably, and Rey moved across the room to his side once more, giving him a comforting squeeze to remind him that she was there.

“Why don’t you wait for me in the sitting room and we’ll go and make ourselves a little more presentable?” Rey suggested, and Leia agreed.

“Good idea. Come on Chewie, let’s get you sitting down!”

They walked back to their bedroom to find a housekeeping droid had already picked up their abandoned clothes and made the bed. Ben lay Hope down on the fresh sheets, sitting himself down on the edge of the bed but leaning over his daughter to play with her. If he was looking at Hope, he wasn’t looking at Rey.

Rey closed the door to the room and stood in front of him.

“What’s wrong?” She asked gently.

“Nothing,” he said quietly, not moving his head to look at her and Rey frowned, walking closer to him and taking his chin in her hand to pull his focus to her.

“What happened to tell each other everything?” she said, her wide eyes imploring him to speak to her. Of course, he couldn’t hide anything from her. Their bond was always open, and she could tell when he was uneasy. His hands ghosted up her sides as she stood between his knees where he sat, his head falling forward against her torso.

“It’s foolish…”

“It doesn’t matter. I want to know,” She felt him sigh against her, her hands wrapping around his head and playing with his hair.

“I can’t sleep when you’re not here,” he sighed, “I hate not having you by my side,”

“Ben…”

“I know, I know, it’s ridiculous,” Rey shook her head, pushing him back to look at her.

“I can’t sleep without you either,” she said softly, “I hate it too. I hate feeling alone, I hate reaching for you and not having you there…it’s just one more night, I promise,”

If the bond hadn’t told her that he still wasn’t convinced, his eyes did, and she gently held the sides of his face, bending down to kiss him.

“You’re never going to be without me,” she whispered, leaning her forehead on his, “If a blaster bolt won’t separate us, nothing will,”

He huffed a humorless laugh, holding her close to him, his large arms wrapping around her waist. Even though he knew she was only trying to lighten the mood, watching her almost die in his arms was one of the most painful experiences he ever had. It wasn’t something he wanted to think about.

“I love you, Ben,” she said clearly, “Never forget that,”

“I love you, Rey”


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to wait until tomorrow, but what the hell, have a wedding.
> 
> There is an epilogue and a one-off chapter revolving around Ben and Rey's daughter to go.
> 
> This was one of my first Reylo stories based in the Star Wars universe and I'm quite proud of it. Please feel free to share it around if you enjoyed it because it never got the traction I felt it deserved for the monster it turned into!

“Ben…are you there?”

The heat in his chest was instantaneous, feeling her and hearing her voice echo in his head as he lay alone in their bed. He had only retired a few hours earlier, but sleep was no forthcoming. Poe was sleeping in the guest bedroom and he could tell the man was sleeping soundly, making it more irritating that he was wide awake.

“I’m here,” he replied internally, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine…I just miss you,” she said sheepishly, and he smiled tenderly.

“I miss you too. Just one more night, sweetheart,” He said gently, “Then I’ll be with you so often you’ll be begging for space,” He heard he scoff.

“Never,” he could hear her smiling.

“You should try and get some sleep, love,” he said, although he didn’t want her to go, “We have a long day tomorrow,”

“I know. Tell me something…help me sleep,” she asked.

“Well, what do you want me to tell you?”

“Tell me a story?”

He shuffled himself into his pillow, his hands coming to rest behind his head with a soft smile on his face.

“Alright,” he said, “A long time ago, in a galaxy just like this one...there was a girl who lived alone on a desert planet…”

00000

Rey had drifted off as he told his story, leaving him with the warm comfort of her peaceful presence and eventually Ben had managed to sleep but he still woke with an aching emptiness when he opened his eyes and she wasn’t there.

He pushed himself up and wandered through to the kitchen, finding that Poe was already there.

“Don’t you ever wear a shirt?” the first thing his friend said to him as he poured himself some caf. He smirked.

“Not when it’s first thing in the morning and it’s my house, no,” he replied, still smirking over the rim of the cup as he sipped.

“Well…it’s finally here! Nervous?” Poe asked. Ben shook his head.

“No, not to actually get married,” he said, “I just wish we hadn’t had to invite so many officials…the whole thing is going to be a circus,” he frowned.

He hated the who pageantry of it all. Leia had convinced him that this was something the galaxy needed, a symbol of the changes he’d made, showing what the New Galactic Order represented. He was at least used to it, but Rey was not, and it irritated him that this was seemingly being thrust upon her. If he had his own way they would have gone off planet, somewhere like Naboo and had a small ceremony with just the essential people in their lives.

“Ah I wouldn’t worry about it,” Poe said lightly, “I can promise the minute you see her, she’ll be the only person in the room…it’ll be sickening really,”

“You know, I have never thanked you. Not really,” Ben said seriously. Poe frowned.

“For what?”

“For everything. When we saw each other again you had no reason to trust me, to know I was telling the truth…but you did anyway. Without you, I doubt we’d be here like this today so…thank you,” Ben said sincerely, trying not to laugh as a blush rose on Poe’s cheeks.

“Yeah…well,” Poe said awkwardly, clearing his throat, “You were…are…my best friend, you just got lost for a while,”

Ben nodded. Lost was a good description, but it felt so small in comparison to how far he had fallen.

“Anyway, enough of this mush. You’re going to make me cry,” Poe said, clearing his throat again, “Actually…I have a question for you,”

“Go on,”

“You know Jessika Pava?” He asked, and Ben paused.

“I know of her…” he replied slowly.

“You saw her at the club. Long dark hair, tanned…she was dancing on the bar with Rey?” he elaborated.

“You really think I was looking at anyone else?” Ben quipped, and Poe rolled his eyes.

“I should have known you had your Rey tunnel vision on,” he drawled, “Well, she was there…what do you think of her?” Ben frowned.

“What do you mean? I don’t think anything of her…I don’t actually know her,” Poe sighed in frustration and Ben smiled, “Poe, what do YOU think of her?”

Poe went quietly in thought at his friend’s question. What did he think of her? When they were fighting in the Resistance, Jessika had been one of the few girls he hadn’t really thought of in that way. Sure, they flirted, but it was always banter, something fun to pass the time or take their mind from the war.

She was beautiful, she was intelligent and more than capable of holding her own against him. She challenged him unlike anyone he knew and the more he thought about it, the more he realized that it excited him.

“I think…umm…yeah I think she’s great,” he said gawkily and Ben all but grinned.

“You should ask her to dance tonight,” Ben stated, “I think she’d like that,”

“I thought you didn’t know her?”

“I just have a feeling,” he said, draining the last of his cup, “Now, I need to go and start getting cleaned. Your suit is hanging in the guest closet,” he finished and began to leave the room, but Poe’s voice stopped him.

“Hey, when did our roles reverse? When did I start going to you for advice on women?” Poe said incredulously, and Ben chuckled with a smile.

“Stranger things have happened,”

00000

Rey woke quickly without any hint of sluggishness that usually followed a restless night. She had eventually fallen under listening to Ben’s voice as he told her a very familiar story about a girl who met a dark prince.

Grinning, she threw back the covers on her bed, hopping down and pulling on her robe over the top of her pajamas. She was getting married.

Giddy at the thought, she jogged towards the other bedroom where Rose was sleeping. Peaking through the door, she saw the small engineer, still sound and snoring lightly. Without a second thought, she threw the door open, running into the room, climbing onto the bed and jumping up and down.

“IM GETTING MARRIED TODAY!”

Rose yelled and groaned as she was rudely woken, pulling the pillow over her head.

“Rey…please stop…it’s too early!” she moaned, muffled by the sound of the pillow as her body was bounced up and down on the mattress.

“Oh, let me have this! Come on, we need to get breakfast then hair and makeup because in a few hours, IM GETTING MARRIED!”

The loud squealing had Leia, who was already up and awake, wandering from the kitchen to investigate and she appeared in the doorway with an amused smile on her face, watching her soon-to-be daughter-in-law jumping on the bed.

“Leia…make Rey stop!” Rose cried, poking her head out from under the pillow. Leia shook her head.

“What’s that? Oh, I think I hear my granddaughter calling me…” Leia said enigmatically with a smile.

She turned and left the doorway, laughing to herself as she heard ‘traitor’ being shouted by Rose from the bedroom.

An hour later, the ladies were awake, washed and preparing for the day.

Rey had never been set upon by so many people at one time. While one person was fixing her wedding dress, someone else was also pulling her hair together and at the same time, a third person was doing her makeup. 

Rose and Jessika were feeling the same way, also surrounded by assistants pulling their looks together.

“This better be worth it,” Rose muttered at the hairdresser tutted, trying to pull back her signature flicking locks, “I’m not really used to this kind of thing…”

“Neither am I,” Rey sighed, “It’s just one day ladies. Just one day,”

“Well, I like it!” Jessika declared, taking a sip of her champagne, “Think about it this way, for years we all worked so hard. Toiled and lived on the basic of basics…isn’t it nice to live in luxury for once?”

“Next time you want to try working on your X-Wing in a ball gown, give me a call,” Rose smirked, “I’d like to see that…”

Jessika stuck her tongue out at her friend in good nature as Leia appeared in the doorway, already dressed and ready to leave.

Rey smiled at her. She was the epitome of grace wearing a long, angular cut dress with matching coat in a silver-grey color, her greying hair pulled back into an elaborate braided design around the back of her head completed with a matching hair band that wove its way through. She kept her jewelry simple, not needing anything gaudy to distract from the simple elegance of her ensemble.

“Rey, you look absolutely beautiful!” Leia said fondly, taking in the completed look.

Rey hadn’t wanted to look different or over the top on her wedding day, demanding that her make up was kept light, just enough to accentuate her features and her long hair was left down, lightly waved and swept to one side with a small, white bloom tucked behind her ear.

“Do you think Ben will like it?” She asked, unsure. Jessika chuckled.

“I think you could walk down an aisle in a sack and he’d still think you were the most beautiful girl in the galaxy!” Jessika exclaimed, “You’re going to render him speechless today,”

“I hope not,” Rey quipped, “We do have vows to say…”

“Look who else is ready!” one of the ladies declared and everyone in the room turned to see her subject.

Rey fought the tears that threatened to well in her eyes at the sight of her daughter in her matching dress, the same ivory bleeding down into a blush pink that Rey was wearing, a gentle silver circlet on her head gleaming around her black hair. Rey stood from her chair to pick up her daughter.

“There’s my gorgeous girl!” She cooed, “Your daddy is going to be smitten all over again when he sees you!”

A loud sniff pulled Rey’s attention.

“Oh, Leia, please don’t cry!” Rey said gently, and Leia smiled, her eyes watering.

“It’s alright, these are happy tears, I promise!” she laughed, “You’re both just so beautiful. I thank the maker every day for bringing you both into Ben’s life…and mine,” she gestured to Rose and Jessika, “All of you. We lived through the darkest days to see the sun again. It’s all this old woman could hope for!”

Rey inhaled deeply trying to keep the tears from spilling over her lashes, rushing forward and hugging Leia as tightly as she could with Hope in her arms.

“Thank you,” she whispered in the woman’s ear, “For him, for everything…”

Hope giggled happily, the warmth of the force moving through her mother and grandmother and swiftly, but not unkindly, Leia pulled away, wiping her eyes.

“Enough now!” she said, “They’ll kill us if they have to retouch our make up! That goes for you girls as well…” she laughed, directing her comment to Jessika and Rose who had also begun to tear up.

C3PO appeared at the door.

“Ladies, I am to inform you that the transport is here,” he announced and Rey felt excitement pang in her gut.

“Come on, let’s get you married,”

00000

Ben could barely sit still in the transport, his leg bouncing absently with pent up energy and anxiety. Poe frowned, sitting across from him.

“Buddy, you gotta calm down…I’m going to have a fit just watching you,” he said. Ben sighed.

“I know…I’m just…I just want to get there” he mumbled.

The transport ship pulled up to the building, the same building he had proposed to Rey in, stopping outside its doors.

“Ah kriff…” Poe muttered, peeking outside the window.

“What?”

“You’re not going to like this…”

“What am I not going to like, tell me?” Ben insisted.

When the pilot opened the transport doors, Ben immediately understood what Poe had been talking about. The streets were packed with people, civilians and reporters a like, all screaming and shouting questions at him as they exited the ship.

_First Minister Solo!_

_Are you excited?!_

_What time is the wedding?_

_When does the bride arrive?_

_Did you write your own vows?!_

_Will you be staying on Coruscant?_

_Where’s the honeymoon?_

Ben smiled tightly at the people, being escorted by his security with Poe at his heel as quickly as they could get into the building.

“It’s a damn circus out there!” Poe exclaimed. Ben huffed.

“I agree. All asking questions they have no business knowing the answer to,” He growled, “Since when was I so popular with the people anyway?!” Poe laughed as they walked towards the elevator to the biodome.

“Probably since you ran through the streets like a man possessed to be by your girl’s side?” Poe said, and Ben leveled him with a skeptical look.

“What? It’s true! The intimidating leader of the First Order falling in love with the ‘last jedi’, renouncing his ‘evil, dark side’ ways to be with her? It’s like one of those old stories come to life, people love a redemption story…and yours might be the most dramatic they’ve ever heard!”

“Be that as it may, I still don’t see why they need to know every little detail…” Ben huffed petulantly. Poe clapped him on the back.

“Cult of personality my friend,” he stated matter-of-factly, “Better get used to it, I’ve heard they’ll be making a holovid of your story any day now!” he quipped.

The elevator opening to the biodome balcony cut off the retort on the tip of Ben’s tongue and he smiled at the sight. The place was perfect. All the flowers were in full bloom, dripping the dome in color among the trees, their scents wafting through the air like perfume. At the front of the largest tree, exactly where he had proposed, an archway had been erected, the same flowers and vines wrapping around it. White benches had been laid out for ceremony guests.

There were more than Ben would have liked, but in the end, he had compromised with his mother. Only the most important officials were invited to the ceremony. The rest had been relegated to the evening reception.

“So, this is where you popped the question huh?” Poe asked, and Ben only nodded in reply, “It’s beautiful. Even I’d have said yes to you…” Ben smirked at his friend.

“It would never have worked Poe, we’re so different…” Ben replied sarcastically and Poe grinned.

“Look at you finally getting a sense of humor,” Ben quirked an eyebrow.

“Hmm. You must be rubbing off on me…”

“Phrasing…”

Ben rolled his eyes, deciding it was better to say nothing and quit while he was ahead.

00000

Rey’s chest was getting tighter the closer they got to the wedding venue, her excitement was ever changing, turning to nerves then excitement then back to nerves again. She could barely sit still, fidgeting with her hands as their ship pulled up to the building.

Pandemonium broke out as soon as the ships door was opened, crowds surging and baying for her attention. Leia placed a comforting hand on her before they stepped out.

“You don’t need to say anything,” she said gently, “Just smile. We’ll all be here with you,”

Rey did just that. As she emerged from Leia’s private ship, the crowds cheering for her, it felt like the most natural thing in the world to smile brightly at them. To see so many happy faces, she realized that Leia was right. Their wedding represented something so much more than just how much they loved each other.

It was hope.

A visible representation of the end of the war, the end of so much suffering, hardship and fighting. People could see that there were things worth saving. Love, joy, and family. She could feel it all radiating through the force and it causes a warmth to spread through her body. She felt calm.

_You look beautiful!_

_Congratulations!_

_Thank you!_

Leia watched proudly as Rey smiled graciously at the people, even going as far as to thank some of the closest to her for their good wishes. Her fears that Rey would perhaps not be cut out for a life in the spotlight was calmed somewhat. She knew it wasn’t the girls first choice, but she was dealing well with having so much fame thrust upon her.

She cradled Hope close to her chest, sending out soothing comfort through to force to curb some of the anxiety her child was feeling from such a large crowd and so much noise.  Hope gurgled happily against her mother, the pair making a beautiful picture in their matching dresses.

Once safely inside, Rey breathed a sigh of relief.

“Well, that wasn’t so bad,” she concluded, “Now what?”

“You have a room to go to until they’re ready to begin the ceremony. I believe you’ll have a few people you may want to see before we begin,” Leia said.

Rey nodded in agreement. She was desperate to speak to Poe. Purposely, Rey and Ben agreed to mute their bond until just before the ceremony and as a result, they hadn’t felt each other all morning. It had taken some convincing on Rey’s part, Ben reluctant to let go but eventually he had relented when she had convinced him that it would be like a fresh start, the bond never closing again afterward.

The waiting room was beautiful, Rey thought as they entered. Leia had arranged it specially. A private parlour with soft furnishings, a dressing table and a table of refreshments for the ladies. There was even a crib ready to put Hope in which Rey did, gently laying her daughter down so she could play with the delicate mobile that hung over her head.

As the other ladies left to finalize arrangements, leaving Rey alone, there was a knock at the door and she called for the person to come in.

“Chewie!” she called brightly, her face lighting upon seeing him.

His battle belt that she recognized so easily was gone, replaced with a beautiful dark blue and silver lined sash, the crest of the New Galactic Order embroidered on the front. She continued to grin as he wrapped his furry arms around her, the scent of flowers coming from his fur having been washed and conditioned for the special event.

“I’m so pleased to see you,” she breathed, and he growled in reply, telling her that she looked beautiful. Rey blushed.

“Thank you, although I can hardly see me flying a ship in this dress,” she quipped, “Have you seen Ben yet?” she asked, wondering if she could pry information from him but she was a little disappointed when he shook his head.

“That’s alright. I was just wondering if he was as nervous as I am…” she sighed lightly, “I…can’t believe this day is here. That it’s happening at all,”

She inhaled deeply looking at the kind eyes of her friend. Of everyone, he had been there almost as much as Leia had, if not more. He had been there for everything, from Auch-To, the Supremacy, Crait, he was even the first she had told of her pregnancy. She reached out, taking Chewbacca’s hand, startling the Wookie slightly.

“I just have to say thank you, Chewie,” she said, her voice trembling, “Without you, I really don’t know how I would have coped. You listened to me without judging me, you took care of Hope and, even with Ben, you accepted him returning even after everything…I love you,”

Chewbacca purred his bashful reply gently, pulling her against him again, telling her that he loved her too and that Han wouldn’t have wanted anyone else for a daughter-in-law.

The thought of Han created a lump in Rey’s throat. She wondered what he would have said to her, if he would have awkwardly tried to show affection in his own way, remembering how he offered her a job aboard the Falcon when they were on Takodana so long ago.

Chewbacca looked at her with a sad smile on his lips. Don’t cry, he told her, Han wouldn’t have wanted you to cry. He would have been proud of both her and Ben, knowing she had brought his Son home.

Another knock at the door startled the pair out of their sad trace and Rey quickly wiped her eyes, being sure not to smudge her make up as she called for the person to come in.

Poe’s head appeared around the door, his hand over his eyes,

“Everybody decent?”

“Come in Poe,” Rey said with a grin and he dropped his hand walking into the room, his mouth hanging slack at the sight of her.

“Stars Rey, you are an absolute vision,” he said in awe, “Ben is going to lose his marbles when he sees you…” Rey blushed.

“Well you look very handsome yourself Mr Dameron,” she quipped back, “Not bad for a flyboy pilot!”

It was true what she said. Poe was dressed to the nines in his polished black boots, black dress pants, shirt and thigh length black military coat. She imagined Ben was wearing something similar and she smiled warmly.

“How is Ben?” She asked, and Poe smirked.

“He’s acting all calm and collected but I know he’s sweating bullets waiting to see you!” he said.

The door opened behind him, Rose and Jessika walking through and immediately Poe’s eyes widened, his voice lost.

“Hey Poe! Wow, you look great!” Jessika beamed at him walking into the room as he stared at her shell-shocked.

“Oh, um, thanks…you too,” he stammered, “You look great I mean…”

Jessika blushed prettily at his compliment which did nothing for his ability to speak while Rey and Rose locked eyes silently, smirking at the pair.

“Well, I gotta go…it’s almost show time!” Poe said abruptly, “See you out there ladies!”

He dashed from the room like something was chasing him, leaving Rey and Rose still smirking at the interaction.

They continued to fuss and finalize their looks, checking that everything was perfect and that the flowers were exactly as they should be. Rey had chosen a specific bloom that only grew in the dessert especially. It had taken some time to find the sand-dwelling plant but eventually, a Coruscant florist had come through and she was holding the short-stemmed red bloom.

Leia returned with a smile on her face.

“Rey, it’s time,”

00000

_Breathe…just breathe…_

Ben stood at the archway repeating the mantra to himself over and over as guests began to make their way to their seats, a string quartet playing lightly in the background, the music echoing prettily off the glass of the dome.

It was time. The music stopped and began a new melody signaling for the guests to be upstanding for the bridal party. Ben barely felt clap a comforting hand on his shoulder, his complete focus at the end of the aisle in front of him.

The first to appear was Rose, looking more elegant that he had ever seen her in her long silver gown, her hair pulled back into a bun at the nape of her neck. She offered him a comforting, warm smile as she walked towards them.

Behind her walked Jessika and despite his own nerves, Ben shot a glance to Poe, noticing with a sideways grin that the man couldn’t stop staring at the brunette woman, her long hair flowing behind her in loose waves. She smiled at Ben, but he noticed her smile was ever so slightly wider for Poe

A murmur of delight rippled through the crowd and Ben outright beamed at the sight of his mother walking towards them, his daughter nestled in her arms, adorable in her ivory and pink dress. Leia approached him, and he bent down to kiss his daughter’s forehead, stroking her hair gently before kissing Leia on the cheek.

“I’m so proud of you, Ben,” she said quietly, stroking his cheek, “and your father would be too,”

Ben’s throat bobbed as he swallowed back his tears and the emotion swelling in his chest. He had thought of his father often that morning if he would have been proud, what fatherly advice he would have offered. Hearing his mother even mention Han wasn’t easy.

_Breathe…just breathe…_

Rey watched from the entrance to the dome as Rose, Jessika, and Leia, along with Hope, made their way down the aisle. She had opened their bond again as the music had started and she had never felt his signature so light. She felt his excitement, his nerves, his overwhelming love for her and their daughter. It was so intense that it drove the air from her lungs and she had to remind herself to take another breath.

Leia had reached the end of the aisle. Watching him kiss Hope on her head, kiss his mother on the cheek as she stroked his face. It was like a dream. He looked unspeakably handsome in his wedding suit. All in black, his military coat accented by an ivory thread, the cape over his left shoulder lined in a matching ivory silk. He looked like a prince, she thought with a smile.

She stilled, her heart beating wildly in her chest and her arm tightened around Chewbacca’s when she realized that it was her turn to walk.

“Chewie…don’t let me fall,” she whispered. Chewbacca shook his head, holding her steady as she leaned on him.

This was it. This was the moment she had dreamt of so often, when she would lie awake at night missing him, thinking that she would never see him again, thinking that their daughter would grow up in the middle of a war. It wasn’t a dream, it was real, and Rey could have sworn she felt her heart miss a few beats.

Any nerves she had felt about being on display to so many people melted away when she saw him standing there, his hands clasped in front of him, watching her walk down the aisle with Chewbacca by her side.

She felt like she was floating, her eyes locked with his as she approached him, his dark depths shining with so much love and admiration that it made her feel dizzy. Gently, Chewbacca took her hand and placed it in Ben’s open palm, her skin tingling at the contact and she smiled up at him, breathing in the moment deeply.

“We are gathered here today in the presence of family and friends to celebrate the union of Ben Solo and Rey,” the officiant began, “Two souls, once lost who have found each other in the force, bound by more than just love, they share a deep and profound connection that very few in the galaxy will ever understand. Ben, Rey, please step forward,”

The couple stepped forward and the officiant produced a long piece of golden rope.

“This rope represents the bond you both share, in the force and in life,” the officiant declared, “Ben, place your hand on top of Rey’s and both of you repeat after me,”

_Across the years I will walk with you_

_In deep forests; on shores of sand_

_And when our time walking earth is through_

_In heaven, too, you’ll have my hand_

As they both repeated the words, the officiant wrapped the cord around their joined hands, connecting them together as they looked into each other’s eyes. Rey was sure to take in every detail about his face, his smile, his eyes, committing the moment to memory. She never wanted to forget how he looked at her as he spoke.

The ceremonial cord was removed, and they turned to face each other, holding each other’s hands.

“The rings please,”

Poe stepped forward, nervously reaching into his pocket and producing a delicate silver band matching in style to Rey’s engagement ring.

The officiant looked between them before giving Ben the vows to repeat.

There, as the early afternoon sun filtered through the trees, illuminating the vibrant colors of the flowers and shining in Ben’s dark eyes, he repeated the words that Rey had imagined him saying a thousand times over.

“I, Ben Solo, take you, Rey, as my wife, my equal. I give you my promise to protect you from harm, to remain loyal to you always and to love you, even after we depart this life for the next,”

Rey realized, as he slid the delicate ring onto her finger that it wasn’t just her hand that was trembling, the full force of their emotions ringing through the bond, Ben’s eyes glistening with tears as wave after wave of emotion crashed upon them, almost bringing Rey to her knees. It was only his hand holding hers that kept her stable as she repeated her own vows to him, pushing the ring Jessika had given her onto his finger.

“I, Rey, take you, Ben Solo, as my husband, my equal. I give you my promise to love and cherish you, to stand with you against all obstacles and remain loyal to you always, even after we depart this life for the next,”

“Rey and Ben have spoken their vows and declared their love in matrimony in front of these witnesses. By the power invested in me by the New Galactic Order, I now pronounce you husband and wife,” the officiant declared, “You may kiss the bride,”

The couple barely heard the thunderous applause that rose from the crowd. All they felt was each other, closing their eyes to the rest of the world around them as their lips touched in a kiss so tender that Rey was sure her knees would certainly give way this time. His arms wrapped around her waist, bending her back slightly as her hands grasped his face gently. He rested his forehead against hers as they pulled away.

“I love you, Rey” he whispered to her.

“I love you, Ben,”


	31. Epilogue

_4 and a half years later…._

“Daddy! Wake up, Daddy!”

The moment Hope had started speaking, her first word was ‘Dada’, eventually learning the word ‘Daddy’ as she grew and learned. Since that moment, every morning without fail, when Ben was home he was woken by his five-year-old daughter.

Ben sighed groggily as he woke. He hadn’t opened his eyes, but he could feel her pulling herself onto their bed, her small body climbing over his as she crawled from his legs up to his chest, jumping on the bed.

“Time to wake up Daddy!” she said again, her young voice more insistent this time.

“Your daughter is awake,” Rey said, her voice rough with sleep and a smile on her face, although she didn’t open her eyes.

“So I noticed,” Ben replied opening his eyes to see Hope’s grinning face.

With a squeal of delight echoing in the room, he wrapped his large arms around her tiny frame pulling her to him, pressing a kiss to her temple as she laughed.

This was how most mornings were in the Solo household. Hope would rise early, and if she wasn’t amusing herself in her room, she would wander through to wake her parents.

“You promised you’d train with me!” the girl pouted, her long black hair falling over her face as she pushed herself back up to stare down at him with her own dark eyes. Ben smiled.

“I know I did, and we will, but it can’t be as long today,” he said gently, “Your mother and I have an important event today. Why don’t you go and get ready while I wake up a little and I’ll be there soon alright?”

Hope nodded enthusiastically, jumping down from the bed and running to her room. Ben rolled over, lazily kissing his wife.

“Good morning,” he said softly, and she smiled back at him.

“Good morning to you too,” Rey sighed back happily, “Training this morning? You know we don’t have a lot of time…” Ben shrugged.

“How could I say no? She’s only just discovering her powers, she needs to learn early on how to use them responsibly,” he said.

“I know that, and I agree with you, but we need to be there by noon,” Rey stressed, and Ben pressed a kiss to her forehead before he rolled from the bed, Rey watching his movements as he stretched out the kinks in his body.

“Just an hour. Then I promise we’ll get ready,” he said, “Do we have a sitter for tonight?”

Rey pulled herself up and out of bed, wandering over to him and wrapping her arms around his waist, smiling wickedly.

“We do,” she grinned, “So that means that tonight you’re all mine!”

He grinned at her, bending down to kiss her properly, his hands running over the silk on her body provoking her to moan against him but suddenly he paused, pulling away, listening out with the force, his eyes looking ahead at nothing.

“Hope!” He shouted suddenly, his head turning to the door, “Don’t you dare touch those sabers!”

Rey sighed, her forehead dropping to lean on his chest. The older Hope grew the more inquisitive she became. Lightsabers were her newest obsession, something about being constantly told no from her parents driving her to want to play with the dangerous weapons. Rey and Ben had debated long and hard about getting her one of her own, Rey adamant that she was too young while Ben had pointed out the kind of things they had done as children.

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean we should have!” She had fired back.

Eventually, she had relented and allowed Ben to fashion Hope her very own training saber. Small, light and low level. She may burn herself, but she wouldn’t lose an arm.

Unfortunately for the parents, Hope still seemed far more interested in trying to use either Ben or Rey’s own weapons.

“Go. Get ready and train with Hope,” Rey instructed, “I have some messages that I need to reply to anyway. Then we’ll prepare to leave,”

Ben kissed her once more, moving to step into the ‘fresher so he could wash and change before he began the morning lesson with his daughter. Rey decided that a day like this needed caf and lots of it, especially before she dove into the mountain of messages that had no doubt accumulated overnight.

A lot had happened in four and a half years since Hope had been born, since Ben and Rey had finally come together as husband and wife.

The New Galactic Order had flourished, new representatives of the sectors being elected to lead. The people were being listened to, really being listened to and as a result, prosperity reigned and poverty, even in the poorer outer rim planets, was being kept to a minimum.

Slavery had been all but abolished in the systems. Of course, there were still issues and skirmishes, but the NGO defensive fleet dealt with them as swiftly as possible, being sure to avoid civilian casualties.

Ben hadn’t intended to stand for election. He had often stated that as soon as the New Galactic Order high council was established, he would step down in the same way that his mother had. It was only Leia’s insistence that he would be suited to the role that he did. He hadn’t expected to be voted in, but he was. Ben was voted as the Coruscant representative for that sector of planets, eventually being voted as the sector representative at the high council.

Both Rey and Leia were immensely proud of how far he had come, showing not just his family that he had changed but showing the galaxy that he wasn’t the man he once was. There were still those who cursed him. Still, those who spat his name, refusing to believe he had changed his ways. He understood that sometimes old wounds would never heal.

The work was exhausting but it was satisfying to be able to influence things in a positive way, without the need for force or domination. The day another minister had told him he was every inch his mother’s son, he had to take a moment to himself.

Rey, caf in hand, moved to her private console in their shared office and she sighed as the screen lit up. As she suspected, there was a significant number of messages, every one of them marked as important. Taking a sip, she began to methodically work her way through them.

After their wedding, Rey quickly became bored with playing the politician’s wife role. She loved her daughter and husband, but she was a practical person who needed to keep busy. Speaking about it with Ben, she decided to use her skills to help others who were force sensitive. Ben had been reserved about it at first, worried that the teaching would be one-sided.

“If there’s one thing being with you has taught me, it’s that light can’t survive without dark. I don’t want to teach them either way, I want to teach them balance,” she had told him.

And he had agreed. Together, they had opened a facility to help teach force sensitive children how to embrace the force and use it responsibly, not to shy away from it. It had started small at first, but as news had spread, families from all over the galaxy descended on Coruscant to speak to Rey.

It was satisfying work and she finally felt that she had found her place in their story, accepting her responsibility in the force to teach a balanced point of view.

Time passed quickly as she drained her cup, responding to the various requests.

_My son has just turned 9 and he’s started levitating things…_

_My daughter is force sensitive and I don’t know what to do…_

Almost all the messages were along the same lines, but Rey always patiently responded.

“Mama, Daddy made me float!” Hope laughed happily, running into the room and into Rey’s open arms. Rey frowned at Ben as he walked through the doorway.

“Ben…” she said disappointedly. She had scolded him for that particular trick before.

“What? You know I’d never drop her,” he defended, “…she also promised not to tell you,” he smiled, walking over and kissing Rey’s head.

“Making progress?” Rey sighed, rubbing her face.

“I am, but it’ll need to wait, we’re going to be late if we don’t start getting ready soon!” She said, standing and putting Hope down.

“So, what if we’re a little late…I’m sure they’ll survive…”

“Don’t you dare Ben Solo, you’re the best man. You have to be there!”

00000

“Where the kriff have you been?!”

Ben smiled at Poe as he walked towards him, the man standing in his dress uniform, his hands tensed into fists at his side.

Poe had been named as the head of the New Galactic Order’s defensive fleet, at Ben and Leia’s request. He still had his impulsive tendencies, but he was a good General, having proven himself time and time again.

“Family duties but I’m here now so you can stop worrying!” Ben said as he came to stand next to him at the altar, nodding politely to guests who greeted him, “but you seem like you’re holding up well,” he finished sarcastically.

It took a lot for Poe Dameron to lose his cool and Ben was enjoying every moment of it. Poe leveled him with a look.

“Laugh it up, I remember coddling you through your wedding. You weren’t exactly a picture of calm!” he snapped, and Ben could only chuckle in response, “Do you have the ring?”

Ben tapped his inner breast pocket, feeling the small metal hoop against his chest.

“Relax,” Ben said, “Everything is under control,”

The guests took their seats, silencing as the officiant joined them at the altar. The music began, and Ben clapped Poe on the back, the same way his friend had done on his day years ago.

“Moment of truth, my friend,”

Ben watched as Poe sucked in a breath, his eyes moving to the aisle as Rey walked towards them looking radiant in her pale blue gown, memories of his own wedding flooding back to him.

Poe stilled and smiled brightly, watching his bride walk towards them, a delicate veil over her face.

“Esteemed guests, we are here today to celebrate the marriage of Poe Dameron and Jessika Pava…”

00000

Ben frowned to himself, looking around the reception, smiling at anyone who greeted him. Rey had been quiet during dinner. She hadn’t been sullen, and nothing seemed amiss when he had reached out through their bond. When he had asked her if anything was wrong, she had squeezed his knee under the table and smiled warmly, telling him she was fine.

Now he couldn’t find her. They had been dancing but Rey had mentioned she wanted a break and as they left the floor he had been commandeered by another guest who wanted to speak with him. She had slipped away while they were talking.

He eventually found her outside in the gardens of the building, leaning on the balcony overlooking Coruscant, her eyes cast upwards to the stars above her.

“There you are,” he said softly, and she jumped slightly at the sudden intrusion but smiled at the sight of him, “I was wondering where you had gone. Is everything alright?” He arrived at her side, pulling her gently into his arms.

“I just needed some fresh air,” she muttered, “It’s warm in there…”

His eyes narrowed suspiciously. She wasn’t meeting his eyes and there was something reserved in her manner, far more than he had seen her before.

“What aren’t you telling me?” he asked, somewhat nervously. They were always honest with each other and it perturbed him that she might start. She sighed, and he finally felt her nervous energy resonating. Oh yes, she was hiding something.

Rey bit her lip, unsure of how to proceed. She supposed she could just come out with it but she decided to say nothing, instead, taking his hand and pulling his palm to her stomach.

“Reach out,” she whispered.

He frowned and did as he was told, his heart beating wildly. He felt Rey and their bond almost instantly. He felt Hope safely sleeping at their home under the watchful eye of their sitter. His eyebrows raised suddenly, his eyes widening. There was something else, a new signature, a new unique spark growing inside his wife.

A bubble of laughter escaped his throat and Rey grinned.

“I can’t believe I didn’t feel it before,” he wondered, his hand absently stroking where Rey had placed it.

“At least you’ll be here for this one,” Rey teased gently, and Ben sighed. It may have been years ago, but he still had so many regrets about that time. Rey lovingly stroked his cheek.

“Stop that,” she commanded quietly, “I know what you’re thinking. Stop that,” He kissed her soundly.

“Thank you,” he whispered, leaning his forehead on hers.

It never ceased to amaze him that she had chosen to be with him, to save him when everyone else had given up hope. The force had brought them together, bound them, and if Rey was his salvation, his children were his redemption.

Under the stars of the Coruscant sky, Ben Solo held his wife, Rey, close in his arms.


	32. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small standalone from the point of view of Ben and Rey's daughter.

Hope knows who Kylo Ren is.

She heard the stories of how he was an apprentice to Snoke, how he had supposedly murdered his former master and ascended to the role of Supreme Leader of the First Order. People liked to whisper about how he murdered his own father, how his regime had terrorized the galaxy.

They called him a monster.

That wasn’t the man she knew as her father.

She could see how his tall figure, dark and strong features could be intimidating but the man she knew was warm, loving and kind. Despite his role in the galaxy, he always made time for his family. He never let work keep him later than it had to and when he returned home, no matter how weary he always had a smile for his girls.

Hope loved her mother more than she could say. She was a beautiful, light and strong woman who taught her to hold her own and not give up, no matter how bleak things looked, but sometimes…just sometimes, it was easier to talk to her father.

He would sit and listen, never speaking until she was finished with what she had to say, always listening intently. There was never any judgment in his reply, always giving her the best advice that he could. Normally he was right, even when his advice followed the lines of ‘Ask your mother’.

If there was one thing that Hope would always remember, it was how much her parents loved each other. Sometimes they would argue, any loving couple did, but it was never malicious or spiteful. Both were passionate people with strong opinions. Sometimes those opinions clashed but in the end, they found a compromise. They found a balance.

The older she became, the more she was exposed to the holostories; How the ‘jedi killer’ fell in love with the ‘last jedi’, their story being depicted as an epic romantic tale of love conquering all and bringing the end of a war, something that would pass into legend. Hope knew their love was so much more than just a story.

It was in the little moments she saw every day. Her father would gaze at her mother like she was more beautiful than the sun setting in the Naboo sky, he would hold her and kiss her tenderly, drawing her close and wrapping his arms around her as if she may be taken away from him at any moment, trying to protect her from the dangers of the galaxy.

Those fleeting glances, sly touches, words whispered, were something that the holostories, that the public would never understand.

Hope hated the public. Not anyone personally, but the way they would swarm her parents. Treating them like icons, celebrities. She couldn’t remember ever being out with her parents where a holocam wasn’t being shoved in their faces. Both her parents would simmer with irritation but to the media, they would deal with it with grace and dignity.

She supposed they had learned that from her grandmother, a strong and loving woman who taught Hope about staying calm under pressure, about unconditional love. She would sit on her grandmother’s lap, listening to stories about her father when he was a child, about how she had met her mother. Sometimes she would bring Uncle Chewie with her, and he would put her on his shoulders high above everyone else and she would hug his large head, feeling his soft fur under her hands, all while her grandmother told stories of the Wookie and how he was her mother’s constant protector.

His work sometimes took him away from home, away from his wife and his two children. Her mother would cry, her face buried in his chest while he stroked her back telling her that he would return soon. They hated to be parted, but it was more than just a simple case of missing the other.

When she was learning the force, her parents had shown her both sides of the force, the light, and the dark. Both sides co-existing with the other. Balance, they called it. If her father was darkness, her mother was most certainly his light and they came together in harmony.

To be separated felt wrong to them, unable to balance without the other there.

When her mother was expecting her younger sister, Hope noticed that he father never went off planet. He worked from home more often and fussed over her mother constantly, bordering on obsession. As stubborn and independent as her mother was, Hope noticed that she indulged him, rarely telling him off. Later she would learn that it was because while he had seen her born, her father hadn’t been there when Hope was in the womb. It was something he had always felt especially guilty for and he was making up for past mistakes.

Hope hadn’t been there; her grandmother had watched her while Faith was delivered. It hadn’t been an easy labor, Hope to declare that her sister was awkward from birth. Something called the placenta had detached during delivery and her mother had almost bled to death. She could feel her father’s anguish, his panic through the force and it had frightened her. Anything that made her father feel so hopeless was something to be feared, and nothing made him feel more hopeless than almost losing her mother and being powerless to stop it.

He was still haunted by nightmares. She knew that. One night she heard him cry out in his sleep, so distressed that Hope ran from her room. She arrived at her parent’s door, peaking through the opening to see her mother holding him tightly until he woke, breathing her name in relief, burying his head in her neck. She hoped she never had nightmares the way her father did, but when she did, he was always the first one there to pull her into his strong arms and rock her back to sleep.

Every day, there was something he did that showed Hope those people, those whispers were wrong.

She knew her father, and it wasn’t Kylo Ren.

Her father was Ben Solo.


End file.
